Author Topic: Impromptu Apple conference this Friday: But you must blow Jobs first (Read 10584 times)

The Fake Shemp · « **on:** July 14, 2010, 08:57:41 PM »

Apple

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #1 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:05:59 PM »

That motherfucker better wear a suit

Can't wait to see the slick videos showing iPhone 4 users how to hold their cellphone for optimal reception

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #2 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:06:46 PM »

It's at 10 AM, by the way.

I bet Apple gives all iPhone 4 users a free "bumper" to fix signal problems and a date for the OS fix, if not same-day release.

Beezy · « **Reply #3 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:23:57 PM »

Steve Jobs can EAT A DICK

spoiler (click to show/hide)

not really, but Apple fegs can

[close]

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #4 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:45:01 PM »

Fifth Generation iPhones in stores Friday. 100$ more and with fixed range problems to boot!

Positive Touch · « **Reply #5 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:50:20 PM »

so wait were there other problems besides the fucked-up reception?

Brehvolution · « **Reply #6 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:52:22 PM »

"He changed the landscape of the mobile world. This Friday, we will all witness the revolutionary ~~right~~ way to hold your iphone4."

Diunx · « **Reply #7 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:53:19 PM »

BUT THE SCREEN!!!!!!

Brehvolution · « **Reply #8 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:54:09 PM »

Form Over Function

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #9 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:54:45 PM »

This changes everything. Again. Again.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #10 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:56:01 PM »

For a few months at least. Again.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #11 on:** July 14, 2010, 09:56:36 PM »

Evo 4

Samsung Galaxy S

iPhone 4

Rman · « **Reply #12 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:12:13 PM »

Wilco is just hating because even with all this the iPhone 4 is still backordered everywhere.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #13 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:17:17 PM »

Rman

I wish we could get some of these other hot smartphones in Japan so I could even compare.

Purple Filth · « **Reply #14 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM »

Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?

Rman · « **Reply #15 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:23:20 PM »

Quote from: Purple Filth on July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM

Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?

I don't think it's fixable. It seems to be a hardware issue. Having a case helps.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #16 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:25:14 PM »

There's a fix. It's called iPhone 5 and it'll come out whenever Apple decides they need some more money.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #17 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:26:55 PM »

Quote from: Purple Filth on July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM

Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?

They have, by re-calculating the algorithm that generates the signal strength amount in the iPhone 4. Apparently everyone has just been having shitty reception but didn't know cause it was showing a good reception

Brehvolution · « **Reply #18 on:** July 14, 2010, 10:59:54 PM »

Quote from: Rman on July 14, 2010, 10:23:20 PM

Quote from: Purple Filth on July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM
Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?
Having a case helps.

$30 case helps.

~~:walletcry~~ Capitalism ~~:walletcry~~

TripleA · « **Reply #19 on:** July 14, 2010, 11:14:21 PM »

Quote from: Purple Filth on July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM

Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?

How do you fix a hardware problem without recalling the said hardware?

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #20 on:** July 14, 2010, 11:17:37 PM »

iPhone 5 will be revolutionary, in that it will actually allow users to make phone calls!

Beezy · « **Reply #21 on:** July 14, 2010, 11:18:43 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on July 14, 2010, 09:56:36 PM

Evo 4

Samsung Galaxy S

iPhone 4

Droid X

I saw in GAF thread last week that the biggest Apple whore that EB has ever seen (White Man) ditched his iphone for an android. I forgot which one.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #22 on:** July 15, 2010, 12:30:48 AM »

I don't have reception issues; my phone is fucking awesome.

Robo · « **Reply #23 on:** July 15, 2010, 12:43:10 AM »

We totally need a Steve Jobs :dealwithit emoticon.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #24 on:** July 15, 2010, 12:01:21 PM »

Oh shit, Apple engineers are already throwing Jobs underneath the bus. Bail out!

Quote

Last year, Ruben Caballero, an Apple senior engineer and antenna expert, warned Apple CEO Steve Jobs that issues with the phone's antenna could "lead to dropped calls," reports Bloomberg, citing a source "familiar with the matter."

According to Bloomberg's report, Caballero "informed Apple's management the device's design may cause reception problems, said the person, who is not authorized to speak on Apple's behalf and asked not to be identified. A carrier partner also raised concerns about the antenna before the device's June 24 release, according to another person familiar with the situation."

O SNAP U DONE FUCKED UP NOW STEVE JOBS

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #25 on:** July 15, 2010, 12:59:18 PM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on July 14, 2010, 10:26:55 PM

Quote from: Purple Filth on July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM
Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?

They have, by re-calculating the algorithm that generates the signal strength amount in the iPhone 4. Apparently everyone has just been having shitty reception but didn't know cause it was showing a good reception

That's for all iphones, not just the 4. Every iphone ever has had the broken signal reception function.

This is all pretty hilarious. but I'm hoping it ends up in the iPhone4S being the phone of the forever next year when my 3GS contract is up. The current iPhone 4 would probably be fine for me too, since I don't live in the boonies and have a good network here.

Saint Cornelius · « **Reply #26 on:** July 15, 2010, 01:48:50 PM »

Quote from: Rman on July 14, 2010, 10:12:13 PM

Wilco is just hating because even with all this the iPhone 4 is still backordered everywhere.

for realsies

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #27 on:** July 15, 2010, 01:49:48 PM »

I love the iPhone 4. It's a great way for us to keep count of people who are suckers.

AdmiralViscen · « **Reply #28 on:** July 15, 2010, 01:58:11 PM »

Quote from: Don Flamenco on July 15, 2010, 12:59:18 PM

Quote from: BlueTsunami on July 14, 2010, 10:26:55 PM
Quote from: Purple Filth on July 14, 2010, 10:19:56 PM
Wait, they still haven't dealt with the antenna problems?

They have, by re-calculating the algorithm that generates the signal strength amount in the iPhone 4. Apparently everyone has just been having shitty reception but didn't know cause it was showing a good reception

That's for all iphones, not just the 4. Every iphone ever has had the broken signal reception function.

This is all pretty hilarious. but I'm hoping it ends up in the iPhone4S being the phone of the forever next year when my 3GS contract is up. The current iPhone 4 would probably be fine for me too, since I don't live in the boonies and have a good network here.

Boonies? Like New York City?

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #29 on:** July 15, 2010, 02:35:59 PM »

it's happening in places with good networks too? that sucks. I always assumed reception problems were happening to people not in major metropolitan areas. I don't really keep up with this stuff...

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #30 on:** July 15, 2010, 02:38:19 PM »

No, the reception problem is because of poor hardware design. Network problems are actually worse in major metropolitan areas because of AT&T shitty network. Together, well, yeah.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #31 on:** July 15, 2010, 02:41:40 PM »

well, I get good reception in chicago, thus there is no problem!! I'm out!

/that douche who offers his single anecdotal story and pretends like it discounts mounds of contrary evidence

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #32 on:** July 15, 2010, 02:43:15 PM »

you stole my post

Bloodwake · « **Reply #33 on:** July 16, 2010, 11:17:29 AM »

I'm still probably going to get one. I played with tehjaybo's and it's pretty nice.

BlackMage · « **Reply #34 on:** July 16, 2010, 11:20:29 AM »

Consumer Reports are gods.. not even apple is safe

bachikarn · « **Reply #35 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:10:09 PM »

The Apple conference has been hilarious.

ManaByte · « **Reply #36 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:15:36 PM »

Oh shit. Jobs is bitch slapping fanboys.

"The BlackBerry Bold 9700... let's see what happens when you hold it in a normal way... 5 bars... and now on holding the left side. The bars go down."

"There's the Bold, 5 bars to 1 bar." "Next, the Droid Eris."

"Starts off with 4 bars... and the time it takes for the bars to go down has to do with the algorithm... so it goes down to zero bars, and then it goes back up."

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #37 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:16:43 PM »

ManaByte · « **Reply #38 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:17:09 PM »

He even called out Gizmodo.

bagofeyes · « **Reply #39 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:17:56 PM »

is he insulting his customers? lol

ManaByte · « **Reply #40 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:19:29 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on July 16, 2010, 01:17:48 PM

He just wasted 5 minutes of the 15 presentation trying to prove other phones have this problem instead of focusing on the solution. Good jon.

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on July 16, 2010, 01:16:43 PM

Seriously, this.

"So we could have gone on and on. Most smartphones take a hit exactly the same way. These were all tested in areas of relatively weak signal strength. This is life in the smartphone world. Phones aren't perfect. It's a challenge for the whole industry. Every phone has weak spots."

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #41 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:19:30 PM »

He's insulting Manabyte... too bad he doesn't even realize it.

ManaByte · « **Reply #42 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:20:09 PM »

"So what have we learned? Smartphones have weak spots -- this isn't just the iPhone 4, it's all phones. Next, some really interesting data from AppleCare, we looked at the statistics, we asked what's the percentage of all iPhone 4 users that have called AppleCare about the antenna or reception, or anything near reception problems. Because you would have thought 'Jesus, it must be a lot of users complaining about this' -- So what percentage have called AppleCare? 0.55% Just one half of one percent."

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #43 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:24:10 PM »

Quote from: Genghis Cohen on July 16, 2010, 01:21:34 PM

Is manabyte just quoting Steve Jobs

It's like Christians and Jesus, or Manabyte and Mel Gibson

... and Star Wars ... and Pixar ... and Disney ... and Coast to Coast AM ... and MMOs ... and ... SMH

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #44 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:24:35 PM »

Wow, this is incredible. The arrogance is through the roof.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #45 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:26:14 PM »

Holy shit, the private sector and IT guys are going to have a fucking field day with this.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #46 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:27:51 PM »

My wife's company is Blackberry only.

Oh, has South Park had fun with Apple/Jobs before? I can't remember, but they really should if they haven't.

bachikarn · « **Reply #47 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:33:35 PM »

Free cases

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #48 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:33:45 PM »

Free bumper for all iPhone 4 owners through September, after that, you have to pay the additional $30 "Bumper" tax for your fucking phone to work properly. What a joke.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #49 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:36:08 PM »

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #50 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:37:00 PM »

It'll be interesting to see the media reaction. The mainstream media does NOT like being talked to like that. Jobs could end up getting more shit than before.

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #51 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:37:04 PM »

wow. so:

--Here's how awesome we are
--Our data says everyone is wrong
--But here are some free cases and a 30 day guarantee
--also, we're fixing the sensor we said you were all wrong about
--here's some more about how awesome we are.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #52 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:37:37 PM »

Quote from: Jinfash on July 16, 2010, 01:36:53 PM

Where did you get that from?

The fact that Apple just said they'll give everyone a free case through September, and the Bumper is the only thing that has been proven to fix the signal

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #53 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:37:49 PM »

Fangirl reporter on CNN right now is totally defending them.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #54 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:38:00 PM »

"And as a gesture of good faith, we're also including a free roll of duct tape, which has been scientifically proven to fix up just about anything. Namaste."

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #55 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:39:22 PM »

This was probably the worst PR move I have seen from a tech company in a long time. Apple was facing criticism from the private sector and IT over how they were handling this issue; they done fucked up now. Way to ruin the goodwill built up over the last several years.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #56 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:40:36 PM »

"So the heart of the problem is, smartphones have issues, and we made it easy to exploit the issue by showing people where to hold the phone to cover the antenna."

Apple blaming jerks for exploiting their faulty design

AdmiralViscen · « **Reply #57 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:41:33 PM »

Well, this is not what I expected.

The Fake Shemp · « **Reply #58 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:41:55 PM »

No, fuck you, asshole! I showed you how to incorrectly handle the phone and then you used this to smear our company! You fucking jerk!

Don Flamenco · « **Reply #59 on:** July 16, 2010, 01:42:22 PM »

Quote from: The Fake Shemp on July 16, 2010, 01:39:22 PM

This was probably the worst PR move I have seen from a tech company in a long time. Apple was facing criticism from the private sector and IT over how they were handling this issue; they done fucked up now. Way to ruin the goodwill built up over the last several years.

well, they did what they could short of a recall. The bumper case does seem to be the solution.

but they were dicks about it.

News:

Author Topic: Impromptu Apple conference this Friday: But you must blow Jobs first (Read 10584 times)