I am divorcing my wife of 2 years (partner for 9 years, since we were kids, blah blah) and am just now getting out there, basically never having been single. I don't really know what I am looking for or what I want at the moment, but I do know that I don't want one night stands. Part of it is an unhealthy codependency that I developed for the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life, but part of it is that I know the "hook-up" lifestyle just isn't for me. Not really any point to my post, but I agree with what Lindsay has said about there being niches of people right for each other. And this experience has renewed my belief in fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it
Nice thread, its kinda cathartic reading the different perspectives 
High five, bro. Hope you enjoy your single time!
I've been in several long term relationships as well as dating/shorter relationships, but one relationship lasted all through high school where everybody thought we would get married and all that shit. We were perfect for each other when we were 14, but by the time we were 18, we were completely different people with completely different thoughts and outlooks on life. Glad that ended when it did. It really helped me grow at that age, and it shaped me in a lot of ways. Back then I always thought you're just with someone for a long time and that means you get married, but then I started questioning things and he did too. Some people grow together, but some people really do just grow apart.
After that, I did a lot of casual dating (no sluto
). That really helped build my confidence. I can't explain why... Maybe because when my high school bf and I finally broke up and just stopped getting back together, I was scared I would get into another relationship and not know when to get back out and have all these questions like before, but I didn't have that problem. I could see things so clearly. Someone would ask me out on a date and I would think, "Yea, this won't work out. He's not really my type." Sometimes I'd still try it out because I'd second guess myself, and they'd end up being some kind of tool, and I was able to say, "This has been fun, but you see, you're not my type." I was the one in control, which I never was before. I met so many people that summer, cool people, complete douches, etc. etc. (without slutting it up too, somehow, lol). By the end of the summer, I started dating someone I ended up staying with for a few years. Kinda always knew it would eventually not work out, but it's really what I needed at the time. Learned a lot from that relationship too. Grew up so fucking much. Broke up, did the single thing again for a year or so, then met my husband.
The more people you talk to and hang out with, the more quickly you'll be able to pick up on how compatible another person is for you. The first time I ever met my husband (well the first time I was ever around him at a party where he was talking and just hanging out), I literally thought, "Him. That's what I need. I could be happy with him for the rest of my life." Then I second-guessed myself and added, "Well, someone like him..." and we were just part of a general group of friends for a year before we started dating.
I'd good-game you right now, Kestastrophe, if I could. Go get 'em tiger!
