My days at the porn store are now numbered.

[T234]

We got 90 days to appeal to the US Supreme Court. I ain't entirely sure what the fuck is gonna happen but there are 10 city ordinance violations in my name and the fine is 500 dollars each. All they're gonna find is shotgun shells being emptied if they come looking to get 5000 dollars from me. I am in a very strange mood. Ready for multiple murders, but yet highly euphoric because Terrapin Festival is ten days away. Four days of hippy girls, sun (hopefully), hard psychedelics, outta-this-world cannabis, and absolute madness. I'm already looking for other jobs. My options are slim, but if all else fails I know how to operate a still. The one good thing about the porn store closing is that I finally get to to talk about the darker side of the porn store. I think me and GilloD should buy a crab boat and become smugglers.

[Great Rumbler]

MAN-ICON

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sorry about your job.

[close]

[Phoenix Dark]

Tends to happen when your floors are covered in semen and peanut butter

[T234]

Wait, this whole thing needs more explanation.  How did you get 10 city ordinance violations in your name?

They cite the store every once in a while for not having an adult business license, which they refuse to issue. Somebody has to be named, so that's us. The owner says he'll pay them. If he don't, I'm the fifth in line to shoot him. Already discussed this with my coworkers and all.

[Fresh Prince]

So wait you and GilloD are going into the international prostitution ring business? GilloD can get them right out of school!

[Phoenix Dark]

So wait you and GilloD are going into the international prostitution ring business? GilloD can get them right out of school!

I look forward to the "my brothel is flooding, help" threads

[T234]

The first motherfucker that said "please understand" would be shot.

[CajoleJuice]

The first motherfucker that said "please understand" would be shot.

Reminds me of Taken when Liam Neeson kills that businessman who runs the auction shit. So awesome.

[Madrun Badrun]

Darker side?

[T234]

There is a standing offer by one of the store's regulars to shit on a glass table for 75 dollars. After hearing what happened to the first (and only) moronic employee who took him up on his offer, I keep my hand my gun at all times when I see this person. One has to be "Rape-Proof" (one of the three TYPED ON THE JOB APPLICATION requirements of the job) to work at the porn store!

[Joe Molotov]

There is a standing offer by one of the store's regulars to shit on a glass table for 75 dollars. After hearing what happened to the first (and only) moronic employee who took him up on his offer, I keep my hand my gun at all times when I see this person. One has to be "Rape-Proof" (one of the three TYPED ON THE JOB APPLICATION requirements of the job) to work at the porn store!

[etiolate]

Tends to happen when your floors are covered in semen and peanut butter

two great tastes...

[Bloodwake]

Sorry dude.

T234 for Icon!

[drew]

wow, I don't think you should be allowed to own a handgun

[Diunx]

Are you stealing any good toys before going out?

[G The Resurrected]

Are you stealing any good toys before going out?

THIS!!! Hell you could be the bore's Secret Adult Toy Santa send us all gifts of joy!

[Joe Molotov]

I call dibs on the three-foot dildo!

[chronovore]

I'm not sorry to hear that piss hole of a store is going away, but I'm sorry you'll have to look for work again, and that we're going to run out of porn store stories sometime. However, I'm deadly curious how it can be darker than confronting two customers and knocking one out melee style with a dildo.

I call dibs on the three-foot battle-dildo!

Fixed.

[Fresh Prince]

I think he was alluding to illegal prostitution.

[Himu]

Does your store allow for people to double up and share a booth so they can suck each other off while watching porn?

[muckhole]

Does your store allow for people to double up and share a booth so they can suck each other off while watching porn?

edit: I said I would ask!

[BlueTsunami]

I think me and GilloD should buy a crab boat and become smugglers.

Smugglin' smut and Koreans, sometimes smut featuring Koreans

[Diunx]

Does your store allow for people to double up and share a booth so they can suck each other off while watching porn?

Damn PD you are a fucking perv.

[BlackMage]

Wait, this whole thing needs more explanation.  How did you get 10 city ordinance violations in your name?

They cite the store every once in a while for not having an adult business license, which they refuse to issue. Somebody has to be named, so that's us. The owner says he'll pay them. If he don't, I'm the fifth in line to shoot him. Already discussed this with my coworkers and all.

fifth? fucking fifth?! you need to show your quality

[Phoenix Dark]

Does your store allow for people to double up and share a booth so they can suck each other off while watching porn?

Damn PD you are a fucking perv.

omg that's not me 

[BlueTsunami]

I totally read Diunx post without seeing if it was you, PD, and just took it at face value, I was all like... oh wow

[Diunx]

[Yeti]

There is a standing offer by one of the store's regulars to shit on a glass table for 75 dollars. After hearing what happened to the first (and only) moronic employee who took him up on his offer, I keep my hand my gun at all times when I see this person. One has to be "Rape-Proof" (one of the three TYPED ON THE JOB APPLICATION requirements of the job) to work at the porn store!

What happened to they guy who took him up on the offer? $75 is a lot of money for about 30 seconds of work.

[Himu]

Went to a porno shop in Portland, Oregon. It was near my hotel and I was bored, I even ventured into a place where girls danced for you - butt naked - and you could take your dick out and play with it, she'd even play with it if you fronted more cash. All for 20 bucks, 50 for a happy ending.

Anyways, I wandered into this porn shop, bored out of my mind, and some Mexican guy comes up and he's like,"wanna share a booth?" "What do you mean?" "We can share booth, here I'll pay." and I ran out of the shop in fear of being raped. I went back later and talked to the cashier, apparently they allowed doubles because some people liked to fuck while they watched their porn and that the guy wanted to nail me.

Portland is one liberal place.

[Mupepe]

you should have done it.  i've doubled up with chicks in porn booths before.  i didn't think it was that out of the ordinary *shrugs*

[Himu]

But he looked like Luis.

[Mupepe]

And you passed it up??? wtf, man???

[drew]

isnt this the same son of a bitch who wanted to join the army because he had a death wish?

yeah, you probably shouldnt be allowed to carry a ruger redhawk anywhere with you, nevertheless your place of work at which you might be fired from soon

[Himu]

And you passed it up??? wtf, man???

too creepy

[Phoenix Dark]

Went to a porno shop in Portland, Oregon. It was near my hotel and I was bored, I even ventured into a place where girls danced for you - butt naked - and you could take your dick out and play with it, she'd even play with it if you fronted more cash. All for 20 bucks, 50 for a happy ending.

Anyways, I wandered into this porn shop, bored out of my mind, and some Mexican guy comes up and he's like,"wanna share a booth?" "What do you mean?" "We can share booth, here I'll pay." and I ran out of the shop in fear of being raped. I went back later and talked to the cashier, apparently they allowed doubles because some people liked to fuck while they watched their porn and that the guy wanted to nail me.

Portland is one liberal place.

And Ichi still wants to see your dick after all these years

[demi]

Portland is one liberal place.

Liberal? He was probably card carrying Republicunt...

[drew]

looks like he abandoned this thread

must have already murder suicided

[Himu]

Went to a porno shop in Portland, Oregon. It was near my hotel and I was bored, I even ventured into a place where girls danced for you - butt naked - and you could take your dick out and play with it, she'd even play with it if you fronted more cash. All for 20 bucks, 50 for a happy ending.

Anyways, I wandered into this porn shop, bored out of my mind, and some Mexican guy comes up and he's like,"wanna share a booth?" "What do you mean?" "We can share booth, here I'll pay." and I ran out of the shop in fear of being raped. I went back later and talked to the cashier, apparently they allowed doubles because some people liked to fuck while they watched their porn and that the guy wanted to nail me.

Portland is one liberal place.

And Ichi still wants to see your dick after all these years

 

[Joe Molotov]

looks like he abandoned this thread

must have already murder suicided

I'm looking forward to the upcoming thread entitled:

"Gunman in Vivid Entertainment headquarters"

[Saint Cornelius]

Went to a porno shop in Portland, Oregon. It was near my hotel and I was bored, I even ventured into a place where girls danced for you - butt naked - and you could take your dick out and play with it, she'd even play with it if you fronted more cash. All for 20 bucks, 50 for a happy ending.

I went to a place like that in Yuma when I moved to San Diego in '91... it was actually a legit arcade in front, then with a door in the back labeled "adults only" with some of the sleaziest shit behind it. I thought I was just going to play some Revolution X or whatever so I didn't bring a whole lot of money but goddamn I wish I did!

[chronovore]

Probably would have caught something if ya did...

[Powerslave]

himuro

[Himu]

Went to a porno shop in Portland, Oregon. It was near my hotel and I was bored, I even ventured into a place where girls danced for you - butt naked - and you could take your dick out and play with it, she'd even play with it if you fronted more cash. All for 20 bucks, 50 for a happy ending.

I went to a place like that in Yuma when I moved to San Diego in '91... it was actually a legit arcade in front, then with a door in the back labeled "adults only" with some of the sleaziest shit behind it. I thought I was just going to play some Revolution X or whatever so I didn't bring a whole lot of money but goddamn I wish I did!

There was sign at the porn shop I went into that said NO PROSTITUTION 

The strip place I went to was like..in the middle of nowhere. I was just exploring Portland on foot near my hotel and I saw a sleazy office building with tons of mosquitos and shit in it. I was intrigued so I climbed further to find the joint. I don't think they were legal. It was just one room and only one girl. No office, or anything.

Anyways yeah, I got my dick rubbed fa sho.

[T234]

There is a standing offer by one of the store's regulars to shit on a glass table for 75 dollars. After hearing what happened to the first (and only) moronic employee who took him up on his offer, I keep my hand my gun at all times when I see this person. One has to be "Rape-Proof" (one of the three TYPED ON THE JOB APPLICATION requirements of the job) to work at the porn store!

What happened to they guy who took him up on the offer? $75 is a lot of money for about 30 seconds of work.

He ended up getting cornholed for five more hours until he told the guy they'd be found by the guy coming on at shift change.

isnt this the same son of a bitch who wanted to join the army because he had a death wish?

yeah, you probably shouldnt be allowed to carry a ruger redhawk anywhere with you, nevertheless your place of work at which you might be fired from soon

Drewsy, fuck you in your face. You could never be as much of a bitch in real life as you are on the bore or else somebody woulda shot your ass by now.

looks like he abandoned this thread

must have already murder suicided

Still don't have internet at my new place asshole. When I do get internet, Imma make a thread "I got the internet at my new place because drewsy is a bitch".

[Van Cruncheon]

T234, america's sumbitch

[T234]

I'm out. Expect ROWDY pictures from terrapin next week.

[Human Snorenado]

I'm out. Expect ROWDY pictures from terrapin next week.

I want lots of pics of big tittied hippie chicks.  DO IT.