Author Topic: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS  (Read 3160 times)

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mojovonio

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MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« on: September 03, 2010, 10:23:54 AM »
[youtube=560,345]_fslnL_bWe4[/youtube]

WOAH DUDES WILL GET CUT

Diunx

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2010, 10:30:46 AM »
After The Expendables this movie has a lot to live up too.
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Mupepe

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2010, 10:34:02 AM »
considering how awesome planet terror was in the theater, this should be the shit. 

Himu

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2010, 10:37:47 AM »
:rock
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Bebpo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2010, 10:49:13 AM »
this weekend will be full of MACHETE

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2010, 10:56:49 AM »
After The Expendables this movie has a lot to live up too.
Really? I'd say Stallone is a far weaker director & writer than Rodriguez. Stallone is serviceable, Rodriguez is a master of this genre. Machete looks to be both a fun b-movie AND a good movie based on the really positive reviews so far, unlike Expendables which worked only as b-movie action. Rodriguez doing over the top action like Desperado, El Mariachi, Planet Terror, etc... is in a league of his own.

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2010, 11:58:03 AM »
After The Expendables this movie has a lot to live up too.
Really? I'd say Stallone is a far weaker director & writer than Rodriguez. Stallone is serviceable, Rodriguez is a master of this genre. Machete looks to be both a fun b-movie AND a good movie based on the really positive reviews so far, unlike Expendables which worked only as b-movie action. Rodriguez doing over the top action like Desperado, El Mariachi, Planet Terror, etc... is in a league of his own.
:rofl
010

Robo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2010, 12:01:56 PM »
Rodriguez does have a knack for making terrible movies, it's true.
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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #8 on: September 03, 2010, 12:23:12 PM »
Honestly, who is better at making cheesy over the top b-movies?

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2010, 12:31:29 PM »
my mom.  oooh damn i got her there

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2010, 12:34:20 PM »
Honestly, who is better at making cheesy over the top b-movies?

The guy who spent half of the past decade making Spy Kids movies, obviously.
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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2010, 12:38:46 PM »
Honestly, who is better at making cheesy over the top b-movies?

The guy who spent half of the past decade making Spy Kids movies, obviously.
His spy kids movies make El Mariachi, From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Planet Terror, Machete...etc worse as b-movies? I don't go see his kids movies.

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2010, 12:39:58 PM »
Yes
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Joe Molotov

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2010, 12:44:00 PM »
Me and a couple of dudebros are hitting up a 7:45 showing tonight. :rock
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chronovore

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2010, 12:51:40 PM »
Is that Eva Mendes, and is that her actual ass in the trailer?

Diunx

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #15 on: September 03, 2010, 01:51:18 PM »
After The Expendables this movie has a lot to live up too.
Really? I'd say Stallone is a far weaker director & writer than Rodriguez. Stallone is serviceable, Rodriguez is a master of this genre. Machete looks to be both a fun b-movie AND a good movie based on the really positive reviews so far, unlike Expendables which worked only as b-movie action. Rodriguez doing over the top action like Desperado, El Mariachi, Planet Terror, etc... is in a league of his own.

Rodriguez is an average director at best.
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Bebpo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #16 on: September 03, 2010, 03:57:09 PM »
Rodriguez is pretty awesome.  I don't know how anyone can say otherwise.

If he had actually directed Predators it would have won an Oscar.

Robo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #17 on: September 03, 2010, 04:46:28 PM »
I can say otherwise because I sat through Once Upon a Time in Mexico, From Dusk till Dawn and Sin City.

Planet Terror being the best adult-oriented thing he's done up this point isn't exactly call for heaps of praise.

Machete could be good, but it ain't gonna be no Black Dynamite.
obo

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #18 on: September 03, 2010, 04:59:40 PM »
Cohen, check your PMs you filthy wino
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Bebpo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #19 on: September 03, 2010, 05:13:10 PM »
I can say otherwise because I sat through Once Upon a Time in Mexico, From Dusk till Dawn and Sin City.

Two of those three are awesome.

The Fake Shemp

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #20 on: September 03, 2010, 05:54:13 PM »
Rodriguez is a pretty terrible director and writer. He's one of those guys who comes up with great concepts and routinely fails to execute them. Better producer than filmmaker.
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Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #21 on: September 03, 2010, 05:57:49 PM »
Death Proof >> Planet Terror
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Bebpo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #22 on: September 03, 2010, 05:59:17 PM »
Rodriguez is a pretty terrible director and writer. He's one of those guys who comes up with great concepts and routinely fails to execute them. Better producer than filmmaker.

I saw Predators...it was very, very bad.

Sin City on the other hand was excellent.  As was El Mariachi and Planet Terror was pretty solid too.

Death Proof >> Planet Terror

I don't think anyone is saying Tarantino isn't a better director of the two.

Howard Alan Treesong

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #23 on: September 03, 2010, 06:01:34 PM »
I haaaated Planet Terror

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I liked Spy Kids :-[
[close]
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The Fake Shemp

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #24 on: September 03, 2010, 06:56:44 PM »
Sin City was the best thing he's ever done, and it was his most collaborative effort. Big shocker.

Imagine how good Sin City would have been had he not even directed it!

... also, he WROTE the screenplay for Predators. There's your problem right there.
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Diunx

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #25 on: September 03, 2010, 07:01:26 PM »
once Upon a Time in Mexico was just on FX, so awful :yuck

:piss Enrique Iglesias :piss2
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Bebpo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #26 on: September 03, 2010, 07:24:25 PM »
Sin City was the best thing he's ever done, and it was his most collaborative effort. Big shocker.

Imagine how good Sin City would have been had he not even directed it!

... also, he WROTE the screenplay for Predators. There's your problem right there.

There wasn't much wrong with the script of Predators.  It was a concept that could make a badass movie.  A bunch of badass dudes and dudettes from across the world banding together to fight super monsters.

The problem with Predators was the direction SUCKED and so none of the action scenes had any energy and the movie was dull to watch.  If Rodriguez had directed it, every action scene would have been amazing and since that's all the film is, action scenes, it would have been A+++

The Fake Shemp

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #27 on: September 03, 2010, 07:40:14 PM »
There wasn't much wrong with the script of Predators.  It was a concept that could make a badass movie.  A bunch of badass dudes and dudettes from across the world banding together to fight super monsters.

It was a shitty script, but a good concept. You are confusing the two.

Having Rodriguez directing it would have just made it worse.

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Solo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #28 on: September 03, 2010, 07:41:44 PM »
Machete >>>>>>>x1000>>>>>>>> Expendables

 :bow Machete :bow2
 :piss Expendables :piss2

Michelle Rodriguez in this  :hump

Phoenix Dark

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #29 on: September 03, 2010, 07:54:58 PM »
Rodriguez is a pretty terrible director and writer. He's one of those guys who comes up with great concepts and routinely fails to execute them. Better producer than filmmaker.

In short: he should stick to 3 minute mock trailers

010

Diunx

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #30 on: September 03, 2010, 08:00:28 PM »
Pretty much.
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Cheebs

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #31 on: September 03, 2010, 11:22:55 PM »
Rodriguez is a pretty terrible director and writer. He's one of those guys who comes up with great concepts and routinely fails to execute them. Better producer than filmmaker.

In short: he should stick to 3 minute mock trailers


This being one of the most purely enjoyable action movies of the past 15 years makes that view very hard to agree with:
[youtube=560,345]xZdZv3kT9xk[/youtube]

Pure perfect b-movie action, never gets old. Stallone has never and will never direct action as cool oras Banderas in Rodriguez's Desperado.



Oh and

The scene of Robert De Niro turning into a Mexican day laborer in Machete> all of Expendables.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2010, 11:26:37 PM by Cheebs »

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #32 on: September 03, 2010, 11:42:24 PM »
Just got back from seeing it.

First half: Awesome action, hilarious, great cast of characters that dominate every scene. Greatness, amazing.

Second half: Drag a lot as they try to tie up all the characters and plots. Smattering of fun moments, but lots of not so hot scenes as well. Final shootout is kind of weak, same for the ending. Not so hot.

Doesn't blow away the Expendables at all, but would make a great double feature.
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Joe Molotov

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #33 on: September 04, 2010, 12:00:18 AM »
This movie was heart felming.
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Cheebs

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #34 on: September 04, 2010, 12:31:28 AM »
I loved that the only person capable of killing
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Steven seagal
[close]
was
spoiler (click to show/hide)
himself.
[close]
:lol

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #35 on: September 04, 2010, 12:36:11 AM »
There goes a great man.
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drew

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #36 on: September 04, 2010, 02:52:17 AM »
i heard lindsay lohan plays a nun for five minutes and is then naked throughout the entire thing

Diunx

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #37 on: September 04, 2010, 02:58:58 AM »
:yuck
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Solo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #38 on: September 04, 2010, 07:28:28 AM »
Two best parts of the movie were "Machete don't text" and
spoiler (click to show/hide)
Segal's ending monologue
[close]

i heard lindsay lohan plays a nun for five minutes and is then naked throughout the entire thing

She has an obvious body double for the threesome scene, who has nice tits. But then you can see old Ham and Cheese pita's freckled, saggy old tits for real a few times, and its fucking terrifying.

Cheebs

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #39 on: September 04, 2010, 09:23:10 AM »
I still can't believe there is a movie that exists in which Robert De Niro has scenes with Lindsay Lohan and Steven Segal.

Also this is the first time it felt like in nearly a decade De Niro had any energy in a performance, he seemed to actually be enjoying himself instead of sleepwalking through it like he usually does lately.

chronovore

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #40 on: September 04, 2010, 09:28:15 AM »
This movie was heart felming.
Thirty seconds of uncontrolled giggling, thanks, you weenie.

Chinner

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #41 on: September 04, 2010, 09:34:08 AM »
i have to wait until november to see this : @

Solo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #42 on: September 04, 2010, 09:37:28 AM »

Also this is the first time it felt like in nearly a decade De Niro had any energy in a performance, he seemed to actually be enjoying himself instead of sleepwalking through it like he usually does lately.

Uh, Stardust?

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #43 on: September 04, 2010, 11:52:15 AM »

Also this is the first time it felt like in nearly a decade De Niro had any energy in a performance, he seemed to actually be enjoying himself instead of sleepwalking through it like he usually does lately.

Uh, Stardust?
Fuck forgot about that. He also seemed to be trying in that as well. Apparently he got paid scale on Machete. Just for Trejo.

Himu

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #44 on: September 04, 2010, 03:34:13 PM »
Machete > The Expendables

Machete brought it. Grindhouse fans MUST SEE
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Joe Molotov

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #45 on: September 05, 2010, 03:08:41 PM »
Aaaaaaaand Machete opened to almost exactly the same gross as Grindhouse, $11.3 Mil vs. $11.5 for Grindhouse. Doesn't look good for Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again, but at least we've still got Hobo With a Shotgun coming.
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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #46 on: September 05, 2010, 03:32:42 PM »
The budget was about $25 million.
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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #47 on: September 05, 2010, 03:40:37 PM »
Summer 2011:

-The Expendables 2
-Machete Kills

:rock
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chronovore

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #48 on: September 05, 2010, 06:50:46 PM »
Summer 2011:

-The Expendables 2
-Machete Kills

:rock
Will hold out hope for Machete Kills the Expendables.

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #49 on: September 05, 2010, 07:13:56 PM »
Now imagine if, Black Dynamite 2 came out at the same time.

Oh my!
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Timeless

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #50 on: September 05, 2010, 07:23:48 PM »
I haaaated Planet Terror

spoiler (click to show/hide)
I liked Spy Kids :-[
[close]

PLZ tell me you're joking for both statements ..... !!!
!!!

Bebpo

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #51 on: September 08, 2010, 10:48:36 PM »
I saw this.

It was pretty great.

Hot chicks, Hot action, One Badass Man.


Can't complain, can't complain

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alba has the body of a goddess
[close]

Brehvolution

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #52 on: September 09, 2010, 10:35:06 AM »
I saw this.

It was pretty great.

Hot chicks, Hot action, One Badass Man.


Can't complain, can't complain

spoiler (click to show/hide)
Alba has the body of a goddess
[close]
I heard her in an interview say that she was wearing underpants but they took it out in post.  :spin
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Phoenix Dark

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #53 on: September 09, 2010, 12:22:32 PM »
Might as well get over it and do nude scenes Alba. Your career is over
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chronovore

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #54 on: September 10, 2010, 12:13:15 AM »
She said she thought about it for Sin City, and then realized it would make her dad feel weird.

...We need to take her dad out of the picture, if you know what I'm saying.
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Anyone know a cheap hitman?
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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #55 on: September 10, 2010, 07:38:45 PM »
Machete was a lot of fun and made the Expendables' action scenes look like something out of a kids' movie.   Best movie I saw this summer.
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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #56 on: September 14, 2010, 04:31:39 PM »
Saw this last night. :rock rocked :rock It was completely ridiculous and completely awesome. And Michelle Rodriguez has never looked hotter.

Apparenly Lohan used a body double. Thank God.
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Joe Molotov

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Re: MACHETE TONIGHT, MOUTHBREATHERS
« Reply #57 on: September 14, 2010, 04:40:28 PM »
Saw this last night. :rock rocked :rock It was completely ridiculous and completely awesome. And Michelle Rodriguez has never looked hotter.

Apparenly Lohan used a body double. Thank God.

You can tell from the fact that she looked kinda hot in the one scene.
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