The handshake/broshake dilemma

[TakingBackSunday]

I was just at fairly informal interview/meeting for an internship earlier tonight with a local film production firm.  I walked into the building and saw the guy who I was supposed to meet with – note, this a guy who I've known of from my old school but never actually talked to – and he comes up to me with a smile.  I naturally hold out my hand for a handshake, and he goes in as well, but instead of the firm up/down shake, he sort of just holds my hand then awkwardly brings his thumb up like he's doing some weird-ass thumb wrestling thing.  It was weird.

Seriously though, this guy is like 26 years old and has been working as a business man for several years now.  Can't people learn to use a professional handshake?  It's kind of embarrassing.

[demi]

Maybe you shouldnt be such a loser, bro

[Joe Molotov]

You should have given him a "banana grabber".

[brawndolicious]

I thought "broshake" meant that thing where you go from handshake to shoulder-bump.  I hate that.

[Himu]

You aren't even black.

Imagine my predicament.

*sees a brother*

"Oh snap, what's good?"

*our hands reach out*



THIS IS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

Will he shake my hand?

Will he give me dap?

Will he give me a fist bump?

Will we do a classic brother shake? Different people have different shakes depending on the area!

*goes for a classic brother shake*

*snaps fingers after the deed*

"Yo, why'd you snap your finger?"

FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

but the best part is when you both get it right and are in sync.

[TakingBackSunday]

 

It's even WORSE if you're shaking hands with a black man and you're white.  I never know what to do 

[TripleA]

My dad has a similar handshake, but I think he's a mason.

[brawndolicious]

Yes, different mason chapters often have unique handshakes but that is a generally common handshake for the freemasons where you bring your thumb up.  I don't think there's anything black at all about the thumb thing which is why the title is confusing, maybe your classmate just assumed you were a mason and was trying to hook you up?

[Himu]

Uh, the thumb thing is a black thing, right? That's how almost every brother I've met shakes.

[Himu]

[youtube=560,345]chrhOaNx9mE[/youtube]

I like that slide, daddio

[youtube=560,345]k4aIf8Gb4fM[/youtube]

lmfao

[Diunx]

The fuck man? I owuld kill to work on a place where I could broshake my bosses, are you also mad because you won't have to wear a button up shirt and fucking dress pants? smh.

[TakingBackSunday]

but I wear those casually since I'm a hipster 

[Diunx]

Fucking hipsters.

[Phoenix Dark]

Had a 40 year old white guy give me a brotha handshake. I went in for the normal handshake, and as he pulled off the finger hold move I was just dumbfounded. Nothing worse than being out-hipped by a pharmacist with three kids

[Cormacaroni]

I was at a work party a few weeks ago, meeting a bunch of folks I didn't know well. 3 dudes in a row give me the normal weak-ass handshake, then the 4th guy randomly decides to crush me. WTF. If I felt like reciprocating, I'm sure I could have fucked his shit up good but there was no warning, no hint of his malicious intent. Total stranger. Why is this cool again? Should I have just belted him? Would he have liked it, or respected me more? Should I be just crushing the hands of everyone I meet, preemptively? Shaking hands is cool, turning it into some contest of wills with someone you've just been introduced to is crazy.

[lennedsay]

I've had that happen, the bonecrusher, when I was interviewing someone. WTF break my hand why don't you? You look soooo manly.

There's usually a confusion of handshake or girlshake. If it's work, I make sure to go in for a regular handshake so they hopefully go from my lead. Anybody else either gets a wave or a full on hug.

[Diunx]

I was at a work party a few weeks ago, meeting a bunch of folks I didn't know well. 3 dudes in a row give me the normal weak-ass handshake, then the 4th guy randomly decides to crush me. WTF. If I felt like reciprocating, I'm sure I could have fucked his shit up good but there was no warning, no hint of his malicious intent. Total stranger. Why is this cool again? Should I have just belted him? Would he have liked it, or respected me more? Should I be just crushing the hands of everyone I meet, preemptively? Shaking hands is cool, turning it into some contest of wills with someone you've just been introduced to is crazy.

I blame the "always make sure to give a firm handshake" shit.

[Mupepe]

I think my gay friend's boyfriend was trying to seem more manly last night because he did the handcrusher when I shook his hand last night.  Caught me off guard because I was honestly expecting a dainty handshake from him.

But I always miss the fist bump.  That or I have a habit of doing 'splosion after fist bumps so I look weird sometimes because well fuck it, i can't help it.  I find the fist bump funny most times anyways.

[demi]

I think my gay friend's boyfriend was trying to seem more manly last night because he did the handcrusher when I shook his hand last night.  Caught me off guard because I was honestly expecting a dainty handshake from him.

Nothing weird about that. Some gays take initiative. That's how you eat carpet in the relationship.

[Van Cruncheon]

i go for a firm grip, a look in the eye, and a nod of respect. my personal trainer always likes to try some white boy dap shit that STILL confuses me because even though he is from indiana i am apparently THRICE his whitenezz.

[Mupepe]

I think my gay friend's boyfriend was trying to seem more manly last night because he did the handcrusher when I shook his hand last night.  Caught me off guard because I was honestly expecting a dainty handshake from him.

Nothing weird about that. Some gays take initiative. That's how you eat carpet in the relationship.

Well now I know which one is the top

[Tieno]

go in for the handshake, but at the last moment gently the guys balls.  Spend a moment tickling his taint, but not too long unless you know him.

sounds a bit gay if you ask me

[Phoenix Dark]

go in for the handshake, but at the last moment gently the guys balls.  Spend a moment tickling his taint, but not too long unless you know him.

[fistfulofmetal]

real men bump fists or high-five

[Van Cruncheon]

go in for the handshake, but at the last moment gently the guys balls.  Spend a moment tickling his taint, but not too long unless you know him.

sounds a bit gay if you ask me

only if you start stroking the shaft, geez. there's nothing gay about gently caressing a bro's balls, or slipping a convivial pinky up his browneye. it's the only polite thing to do.

[demi]

its only gay if you get some goo on you. otherwise it's fair game.

[Tauntaun]

I like hugs baby. 

[chronovore]

The black in me gives me the ability to come up with funky ass handshakes

So you did finally hook up with that black cheeseburger?

[chronovore]

only if you start stroking the shaft, geez. there's nothing gay about gently caressing a bro's balls, or slipping a convivial pinky up his browneye. it's the only polite thing to do.

I'm changing my Rock Band band's name to "Convivial Pinky."

[chronovore]

I was at a work party a few weeks ago, meeting a bunch of folks I didn't know well. 3 dudes in a row give me the normal weak-ass handshake, then the 4th guy randomly decides to crush me. WTF. If I felt like reciprocating, I'm sure I could have fucked his shit up good but there was no warning, no hint of his malicious intent. Total stranger. Why is this cool again? Should I have just belted him? Would he have liked it, or respected me more? Should I be just crushing the hands of everyone I meet, preemptively? Shaking hands is cool, turning it into some contest of wills with someone you've just been introduced to is crazy.

I'd blame it on lack of experience or a reference point, coupled with some English teacher's past advice to him, "No, you've got to give a strong handshake." ("...or the Irishman will kill and eat your stomach, stuffed with barley.")

[Van Cruncheon]

go in for the handshake, but at the last moment gently the guys balls.  Spend a moment tickling his taint, but not too long unless you know him.

sounds a bit gay if you ask me

only if you start stroking the shaft, geez. there's nothing gay about gently caressing a bro's balls, or slipping a convivial pinky up his browneye. it's the only polite thing to do.

You have to be pretty insecure about your masculinity to consider putting your balls in another man's hands "gay."

some people didn't get taught manners growing up, it seems

[MCD]

[youtube=560,345]58BNRcI_ChU[/youtube]

[Diunx]

I love Jazz

[Joe Molotov]

go in for the handshake, but at the last moment gently the guys balls.  Spend a moment tickling his taint, but not too long unless you know him.

sounds a bit gay if you ask me

only if you start stroking the shaft, geez. there's nothing gay about gently caressing a bro's balls, or slipping a convivial pinky up his browneye. it's the only polite thing to do.

You have to be pretty insecure about your masculinity to consider putting your balls in another man's hands "gay."

some people didn't get taught manners growing up, it seems

Back in our grandfather's day, you said "sir" and "ma'am" and "thank you" and "please" and had the decency to greet each other with a friendly reach-around. People are just too lazy to and disrespectful to go that extra mile these days.