and this is why i don't like indie developers

[magus]

http://jayisgames.com/games/kolm/

[Positive Touch]

aside from the pretentiousness, it seemed like a run-of-the-mill indie metroid clone

y u mad?

[magus]

aside from the pretentiousness,

ding ding ding
it's like someone made the videogame equivalent of this

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

[Himu]

mother where am i

[Great Rumbler]

Oh horrors, it includes melodramatic dialog that I don't even have to read if I don't want to!

[magus]

to be fair,it's not the dialogue that got me,it's the piano music...

maybe it's playable if i just push the mute button off and just play random megaman tracks

[iconoclast]

I kinda like this game. But maybe that's because I skipped Limbo, so I haven't had my fill of pretentious indie platformer in a while.

[Great Rumbler]

Moody piano music

[Diunx]

I like pirating indie games, something like call of duty sells millions of copies but indie games sell so little that when you pirate one it actually matters.

[Great Rumbler]

I like pirating indie games, something like call of duty sells millions of copies but indie games sell so little that when you pirate one it actually matters.

You weren't going to buy it anyway, so, no, it still doesn't matter.

This one's already free though, so there wouldn't be much point in pirating it.

[Raban]

You want a good indie game? Everyone play this right now.

CHING CHONG BEAUTIFUL

[magus]

You want a good indie game? Everyone play this right now.

CHING CHONG BEAUTIFUL

so this is what happens when you watch one episide too many of stuff like takeshi challenge huh....?

[Raban]

You want a good indie game? Everyone play this right now.

CHING CHONG BEAUTIFUL

so this is what happens when you watch one episide too many of stuff like takeshi challenge huh....?

It's such a good game, goddamn. I love the shit out of it. YOU'RE OUTTA YOUR ZIPPERHEADS.

Brilliant.

[magus]

i can't seems to jump over high walls no matter how much i runs
what the heck i'm doing wrong?

[Raban]

i can't seems to jump over high walls no matter how much i runs
what the heck i'm doing wrong?

Gotta get quite a bit of running distance. Also you can wall jump, so...

[Great Rumbler]

i can't seems to jump over high walls no matter how much i runs
what the heck i'm doing wrong?

Nothing, the game is terrible.

[Raban]

i can't seems to jump over high walls no matter how much i runs
what the heck i'm doing wrong?

Nothing, the game is terrible.

smh

[Shaka Khan]

I couldn't skip the dialog so closed the page.

You have a hankering for crappy writing? write a book. Keep my video games pretentious free please.

[Great Rumbler]

I couldn't skip the dialog so closed the page.

You have a hankering for crappy writing? write a book. Keep my video games pretentious free please.

The dialog appears in a tiny box at the bottom corner of the screen, you don't have even HAVE to skip it! 

[Raban]

Wait, GR, are you talking about the crappy game in the OP? Or the one I linked?

[Shaka Khan]

I couldn't skip the dialog so closed the page.

You have a hankering for crappy writing? write a book. Keep my video games pretentious free please.

The dialog appears in a tiny box at the bottom corner of the screen, you don't have even HAVE to skip it! 

But everything is so blurry. Don't tell me that's how you play the game!

[Great Rumbler]

Wait, GR, are you talking about the crappy game in the OP? Or the one I linked?

I assume the one in the OP since you CAN skip the dialog in Ching Chong Beautiful.

By the way, K.O.L.M. is pretty cool, thanks for pointing it out, magus!

[recursivelyenumerable]

Thank you, I was getting so tired of everyone trying to shove KOLM down my throat. Finally one brave soul rises up to speak truth to power.

[Eel O'Brian]

you have to find your vision module to make the screen come into focus

[Great Rumbler]

you have to find your vision module to make the screen come into focus

Forgot about that part. 

[Shaka Khan]

you have to find your vision module to make the screen come into focus

Forgot about that part. 

:\

[Raban]

Wait, GR, are you talking about the crappy game in the OP? Or the one I linked?

I assume the one in the OP since you CAN skip the dialog in Ching Chong Beautiful.

I was talking about the earlier comment!

[Great Rumbler]

Wait, GR, are you talking about the crappy game in the OP? Or the one I linked?

I assume the one in the OP since you CAN skip the dialog in Ching Chong Beautiful.

I was talking about the earlier comment!

Ching Chong Beautiful, it's terrible.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Is what I was saying. Well, it isn't terrible, but it is really unforgiving.

[close]

you have to find your vision module to make the screen come into focus

Forgot about that part. 

:\

"I can barely see, and my legs are missing!"

"I hope my eyes are around her somewhere..."

[Shaka Khan]

lol I thought I "didn't have to read that crap."

Anyhow, played some more, found the legs, found the vision module, and the plasma gun. I thought it was cute until I found the compression module (ducking) and the game asked me to press down to duck, I pressed and page scrolled down.

I'm guessing the game isn't meant to be played on this page or I might be doing something wrong.

[Joe Molotov]

Awesome game, bro. Thanks for posting it for us that don't waste all our time on crappy websites like JayIsGames and Newgrounds.

[Van Cruncheon]

KOLM could be retitled as "pretentroid" for greater accuracy in naming

ching chong beautiful is pretty awesome, though

[Raban]

KOLM could be retitled as "pretentroid" for greater accuracy in naming

ching chong beautiful is pretty awesome, though

I want a console port so demi can enjoy it.

[Shaka Khan]

I just think it's mind boggling that someone would try to inject a simple game like this with that amount of  unnecessary dialog.

[Van Cruncheon]

I just think it's mind boggling that someone would try to inject a simple game like this with that amount of  unnecessary dialog.

welcome to modern game design! it's not enough for nerds to test their skillz; the whole thing has to be wrapped in a heart-felming story to pull themselves out of their tragic virginoid lives

[Himu]

I just think it's mind boggling that someone would try to inject a simple game like this with that amount of  unnecessary dialog.

why hello, modern gaming!

[Shaka Khan]

Even flash games weren't spared :'(

[Great Rumbler]

2 tiny lines of dialog per item, you say? Gosh darn it that's just too much!

[Himu]

Why not just tell me,"you got an item!" like zaruda

[Shaka Khan]

2 tiny lines of dialog per item, you say? Gosh darn it that's just too much!

When those lines consist of stuff like:

"Wake up son" and "mother where am I"

Yes, it is.

Edit:

"Your legs, son. Now you are less of a disappointment."

Issuuuuuz

[Great Rumbler]

Seems like such an insignificant thing to get upset about, considering that most of the time you don't even need to read it nor does the game force you to sit through cutscenes.

[Shaka Khan]

It can be easily ignored. It doesn't make it any less redundant or bizzare though.

[Eel O'Brian]

at least it doesn't have upskirt shots of creepy walleyed prepube girls

[Raban]

at least it doesn't have upskirt shots of creepy walleyed prepube girls

and this is why i don't like indie developers

[Great Rumbler]

 

[magus]

at least it doesn't have upskirt shots of creepy walleyed prepube girls

and this is why i don't like indie developers

clearly sir you are wrong

[Raban]

[Great Rumbler]

Recetear doesn't have any upskirt shots.

[Eel O'Brian]