Gather round me people there's a story I would tell
About a cowardly young Canadian you should remember well
From the land of the drunk Canadian
A lonely and miserable band
Who attempted to farm the vagina valley in Manitoba land
Down the button-ups for a dozen years
The flannel grew Malek's's balls and cock
'Till the real law student man stole the pussy rights
And the flow of tears poured
Now Malek's balls were aching
And their hue turned kind of blue
When class came, Malek stayed home
And forgot the flannel girl's tits
Call him drunken Malek4980
He won't answer anymore
Not the vodka drinkin' Canadian
Nor the loner that stayed at home
There he jacked off in his toilet,
Two million semen
But only twenty-seven lived to circle the drain
And when the masturbation was over
And when Old Failure shrank
Among the thoughts were flannel
On the Canadian, made of Unobtanium
Call him drunken Malek4980
He won't answer anymore
Not the vodka drinkin' Canadian
Nor the loner that stayed at home
Malek returned from the bathroom a loser
Unhearalded through the land
He whined and bitched and cried; Everybody laughed at him
But he was just a drunk Canadian
No luck, no hope, no chance
On Evilbore nobody cared what Malek'd done
And never did the Canadians fuck
Call him drunken Malek4980
He won't answer anymore
Not the vodka drinkin' Canadian
Nor the loner that stayed at home
