Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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fakehttp://saminsanity.blogspot.nl/2012/06/taelor-vega-and-johnny-heward-truth.html
WARNING: Contains Father-Mike-posting-like levels of violence and acts which will diminish your faith in humanity, or at least Russian cabs.
http://www.wchstv.com/newsroom/eyewitness/120614_9589.shtml
DAYUM!
That's actually really scary.