Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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Two percent milk is pretty good too. The other week we didn't have milk so I had to take heavy whipping cream and try diluting it with water until I could use it with my cereal. I could taste the fat almost. I imagine its what sea lion milk is like.