Author Topic: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid  (Read 2233 times)

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recursivelyenumerable

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Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« on: February 17, 2011, 09:19:28 PM »
http://tirania.org/blog/archive/2011/Feb-17.html

Quote
As software developers, we develop habits that allow us to build products that work and do not fail under stress. Every software developer knows what an "off-by-one" error is, and like the Karate Kid, we train extensively so we can avoid those traps. We learn how to avoid these and other similar software problems and we sharpen our skills to find logic errors.

As we mature as developers, finding logic errors and incomplete solutions becomes our way of life. It defines us.

But our engineering strength is also our social weakness. Countless times as engineers you will find yourself interrupting someone telling a story, an anecdote or a joke to correct a false assumption, provide an extra fact that the narrator overlooked, give a bigger perspective on the problem or point out that the joke premise is actually flawed.

You can identify this behavior because the person interrupting usually starts with the phrase "Well, actually...".

while it'd be nice to think this is the only reason for the other phenomenon mentioned in the subject line, I suspect at least in my case there are actually in fact many, many other reasons on top of that.

« Last Edit: February 17, 2011, 09:22:05 PM by recursivelyenumerable »
QED

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2011, 09:30:44 PM »
Well actually, I'm not getting laid because I don't talk to girls.

Cormacaroni

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2011, 10:49:05 PM »
Programmers treat human beings like computers, now sports
vjj

Cormacaroni

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2011, 11:19:35 PM »
just had to butt in with your 2 cents didn't ya mojo
vjj

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Well, actually: this is me feigning interest
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2011, 11:22:25 PM »
Quote from: mojovonio link=topic= date=1298002724
Interjections like that reek of self-confidence issues. Male or female, people pick up on it. A functional social person knows how to feign interest in a conversation they don't want to be part of. An extremely large part of getting through social gatherings is playing the game where you have to shut up and just take it all in. Your compulsion for perfection makes you seem like you're extremely uncomfortable, thus women see it as an extreme weakness.

This is a good point

Cormacaroni

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2011, 11:37:21 PM »
I'm not getting laid, am I?

wtf, i thought you were beating them off with a big shitty stick. :fbm
vjj

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2011, 12:00:33 AM »
i usually suppress the urge to blurt out a correction, but look visibly uncomfortable holding it in.  :-\
QED

Great Rumbler

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2011, 12:09:11 AM »
People need to wise up and not be so wrong all the time.
dog

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2011, 12:21:33 AM »
i usually suppress the urge to blurt out a correction, but look visibly uncomfortable holding it in.  :-\

like a verbal fart?

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2011, 12:54:14 AM »
ah, software engineers and the need for their own self mythologization

they aren't wrapped in a veneer of logic, nor do they live a lifestyle of relentless problem-solving; they're just insecure dorks who construct elaborate personal mythologies to hide the unpleasant fact of their suboptimal personalities from themselves

if they were ACTUAL mavens of personal engineering -- if they really were a kind of applied genius -- they'd all be getting laid with a frequency and fashion to shame even wilt fuckin chamberlain. if you can't solve for YOURSELF, go home, nerdlingers!
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 01:17:57 AM by Van Cruncheon »
duc

Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2011, 12:59:43 AM »
ah, software engineers and the need for their own self mythologization

they aren't wrapped in a veneer of logic, nor do they live a lifestyle of relentless problem-solving; they're just insecure dorks who construct elaborate personal mythologies to hide the unpleasant fact of their suboptimal personalities from the rest of the world.

if they were ACTUAL mavens of personal engineering -- if they really were a kind of applied genius -- they'd all be getting laid with a frequency and fashion to shame even wilt fuckin chamberlain. if you can't solve for YOURSELF, go home, nerdlingers!

Exactly. Stop overthinking and overanalyzing everything and just fucking talk to women.
野球

Cormacaroni

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2011, 01:11:21 AM »
WELL ACTUALLY Gundam, I think his point is that they are not really overthinking or overanalyzing. They just try to convince themselves and others that they are some human-computer hybrid Borg-like uber-intelligence because they can tell a computer to print in 5 languages.
vjj

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2011, 01:29:36 AM »


drinky is the white one.

MyNameIsMethodis

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2011, 01:31:05 AM »
USA

chronovore

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2011, 06:46:20 AM »
Well, actually, Cruncheon buried it.

lordmaji

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2011, 10:18:13 AM »
Because everyone is scary.

I do have a feeling I'm going to be alone for a long time. I know I'll get laid randomly here and there, but I know I'll be alone for a damn long while and it's sorta shitty. I like having someone next to me working together to achieve the same goals. That's a good time. Damn shame I had to go crazy. I had it before. lol
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 10:23:25 AM by lordmaji »
:-[

Phoenix Dark

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2011, 10:22:58 AM »
01010101010101010101010101010

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1010101010101010110101010101010101010110101011010110101010101010101011010101010101010110101010101010101010110101011010110101010101010101011010101010101010110101010101010101010110101

nerds annihilated in the digital realm



010

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2011, 01:52:44 PM »
i actually work with a fair few socially astute engineers, actually, and they are cool bros

the rest, though, wow: between the narcissism and the insecurity and the terrible hygiene, the resulting bermuda triangle that is their social existence is a void in which NO woman should venture

(i work with some pretty awful female engineers, too, who are pompous social lumpenthings who boast about their analytical faculties and geek credentials at work, and then go home to an apartment packed wall-to-wall with cats and disney detritus)
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 01:54:34 PM by Van Cruncheon »
duc

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2011, 02:03:35 PM »
We have 2 programmers from the Ukraine and they are both married and have kids. It's too bad they view deodorant as an 'American' thing.
©ZH

Phoenix Dark

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2011, 02:25:48 PM »
We have 2 programmers from the Ukraine and they are both married and have kids. It's too bad they view deodorant as an 'American' thing.
:-\ :-\ :-\

Hence why I never take chemistry or biology classes in the summer. Too many foreigners, too little deodorant.
010

Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2011, 02:31:33 PM »
i actually work with a fair few socially astute engineers, actually, and they are cool bros

the rest, though, wow: between the narcissism and the insecurity and the terrible hygiene, the resulting bermuda triangle that is their social existence is a void in which NO woman should venture

(i work with some pretty awful female engineers, too, who are pompous social lumpenthings who boast about their analytical faculties and geek credentials at work, and then go home to an apartment packed wall-to-wall with cats and disney detritus)


This was my experience when I worked with the IT department for a fairly large Seattle-based insurance company during my summers in graduate school. There were some really cool down to earth people that were great, but unfortunately they were always drowned out by the narcissistic loud-mouthed asocial know it alls. These guys would try to monopolize every meeting by telling everyone how wonderful they were.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 02:35:41 PM by Mr. Gundam »
野球

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2011, 04:14:26 PM »
It's just rationalization and a bad rationalization at that.

It's funny that these people are such perfectionists but dress like and often look like shit.  That alone debunks the perfection theory thoroughly.  Now if you were a computer engineer, chiseled like a Greek God, and claimed to be a perfectionist, then I'd believe that rationalization.
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drew

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2011, 04:52:08 PM »
not only are you guys not getting laid but your profession would be utterly useless in a post apocalyptic world :(

drew

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2011, 04:59:53 PM »
you don't need a useful profession when you're a gun owner :smug

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2011, 05:17:02 PM »
It's just rationalization and a bad rationalization at that.

It's funny that these people are such perfectionists but dress like and often look like shit.  That alone debunks the perfection theory thoroughly.  Now if you were a computer engineer, chiseled like a Greek God, and claimed to be a perfectionist, then I'd believe that rationalization.

i do know a couple software architects who ARE fit as hell, wear great clothes, AND have minds that crush all lessers. they have hot wives and smart kids and are, for all intents and purposes, better people. even worse, they are REALLY nice and cool and fun to hang out with -- and they never, ever feel the need to play the credential one-upsmanship game. fuck 'em in the goatass for all of their graces, but at the end of the day, y'know what?

:tauntaun
« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 05:22:51 PM by Van Cruncheon »
duc

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2011, 05:21:14 PM »
those nerds just need some practice

[youtube=560,345]dO4YcOMB7rc[/youtube]

Boogie

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2011, 05:28:04 PM »
The post-apocalypse doesn't need dishwashers either.

 :lol

Ether.
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Van Cruncheon

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2011, 05:29:04 PM »
you don't need a useful profession when you're a gun owner :smug

good, because the majority of software engineers i work with are gun-owning arch-libertarians. this is ALSO why they don't get laid.
duc

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2011, 09:36:45 PM »
ah, software engineers and the need for their own self mythologization

well actually, had you bothered to read the rest of the article, you would have discovered that he basically makes your point

Quote
The well-actually crowd means well. They want to be loved, they just have not realized that they are undermining their own quest for friends.

If you are a sagacious well-actuallista you need to understand that you are not outwitting anyone. It takes more intelligence to build a joke, tell a funny anecdote or narrate a gripping story than it takes to nitpick.

You are not impressing anyone with your hard earned encyclopedic knowledge that you obtained by spending hours on the Internet. You are just making everyone around you realize that you are as much fun to have lunch with as a flaming turd in a bag.

:bow Miguel :bow2
:piss everyone else :piss2
QED

Phoenix Dark

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2011, 09:43:25 PM »
The post-apocalypse doesn't need dishwashers either.

destroyed
010

EmCeeGrammar

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2011, 09:48:24 PM »
This was me about 2 years ago. I realised why it wasn't helping matters and cut it out. Unfortuneatly no other thought patterns seem to have replaced my incessant destructive desire to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong.  But at least I keep it to myself now.
sad

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2011, 09:53:10 PM »
ah, software engineers and the need for their own self mythologization

well actually, had you bothered to read the rest of the article, you would have discovered that he basically makes your point

Quote
The well-actually crowd means well. They want to be loved, they just have not realized that they are undermining their own quest for friends.

If you are a sagacious well-actuallista you need to understand that you are not outwitting anyone. It takes more intelligence to build a joke, tell a funny anecdote or narrate a gripping story than it takes to nitpick.

You are not impressing anyone with your hard earned encyclopedic knowledge that you obtained by spending hours on the Internet. You are just making everyone around you realize that you are as much fun to have lunch with as a flaming turd in a bag.

:bow Miguel :bow2
:piss everyone else :piss2


i was agreeing with him!
duc

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2011, 09:54:43 PM »
sorry, i'm in a kinda insecure and fragile mood this week, huh
QED

EmCeeGrammar

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2011, 10:02:33 PM »
Oh wait, I still like to correct people on the internet, you guys aren't real anyways.
sad

Van Cruncheon

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2011, 10:59:44 PM »
do lots of drugs
duc

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2011, 11:13:52 PM »
I found another blog post which cheered me back up

http://haquelebac.wordpress.com/2010/11/27/in-memoriam-michel-foucault-15-october-1926-%E2%80%93-25-june-1984/

Two and a half millenia ago sexuality was invented by the horrible Greeks and idealized by Plato. Once idealized, sexuality was as robust as anthrax and as insidious as herpes, and could nest dormant in your cells like trichinella or plasmodium . For most people during much of human history, sexuality merely wallowed in the murk like some enormous, slimy, barbeled catfish, and emerged only occasionally to engulf some hapless human victim. But from time to time sexual / anti-sexual idealists like Augustine and Dante encouraged and strengthened the  monster, and finally in 1830 (with the July Revolution and the opening of Hugo’s play Hernani) the French romantics and liberals brought the undead creature from mud to land. For almost two centuries now it’s been flopping and wallowing among us, going where it will, wreaking havoc and devouring any who dare come its way.

Many have tried to tame or defeat sexuality, but each attempt has only made it stronger and more horrible. Repression, chastity, marriage, idealization, libertinism, liberation, naturalness, “relationships”, psychoanalysis, bisexuality, intersexuality, transgendering, queering – nothing has worked, and sexuality still claims countless new victims each day. This creature has no benign forms and cannot be resisted, and all we can do now is resign ourselves to our sexual fates, whatever those may be, and hope for some post-sexual Beowulf or Parsifal to come along to drive a stake into the beast’s gigantic, loathsome head.
QED

Mandark

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2011, 11:18:05 PM »
I don't know what that means.

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2011, 11:22:22 PM »
neither do I, but it kinda made me feel better

i'm gonna go listen to some tegan and sara songs now
QED

Great Rumbler

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2011, 11:56:29 PM »
Maaaaaaan, this thread...Imma go listen to some Kenny G now.

[youtube=560,345]Aq3q03yeWe4[/youtube]
dog

tiesto

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2011, 02:14:18 AM »
Ahhh, you guys are bummin' me out!

(software engineer here, who spent his night researching Xml serialization :gloomy)
^_^

Olivia Wilde Homo

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2011, 09:51:14 AM »
It's just rationalization and a bad rationalization at that.

It's funny that these people are such perfectionists but dress like and often look like shit.  That alone debunks the perfection theory thoroughly.  Now if you were a computer engineer, chiseled like a Greek God, and claimed to be a perfectionist, then I'd believe that rationalization.

i do know a couple software architects who ARE fit as hell, wear great clothes, AND have minds that crush all lessers. they have hot wives and smart kids and are, for all intents and purposes, better people. even worse, they are REALLY nice and cool and fun to hang out with -- and they never, ever feel the need to play the credential one-upsmanship game. fuck 'em in the goatass for all of their graces, but at the end of the day, y'know what?

:tauntaun

That is because these people are closer to perfectionists than the unwashed, seldomlaid nerds who are using the perfectionism excuse to cover up the fact that they are insufferable people who are probably not as smart as they want to think they are.

Even if the article agrees, I've met enough of these people to see through their bullshit, not that it actually requires being a STEM major to see through it.
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Cormacaroni

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Re: Well, Actually: why you are not getting laid
« Reply #41 on: February 21, 2011, 06:47:54 PM »
but enough about you DC
vjj