Sucker Punch [to the gut]

[Great Rumbler]

Director Zach Snyder offers a peek inside his head, which turns out to be a vomatorium of pop culture's every geeky element.

Snyder's made something authentically confused and moderately offensive, apparently eager to place this dodgy film at the feet of young girls in search of heroes -- his own glossy brand of marketable rebellion.

An unerotic unthrilling erotic thriller in the video game mold, "Sucker Punch" is "Last Airbender" with bustiers.

Under the helm of the otherwise gifted Zack Snyder, the movie is both ideologically and thematically incoherent, uncertain of the right tone and rhythm.

One feels for the talented actors swept into such hokum.

A sensibility that blends comic books and video games - then invests it with an operatic grandeur and a seriousness that gives it surprising emotional weight.

confounding, divisive dudestravaganza ... A backstage musical where the stage is a battlefield and the amps are cranked to 11.

8 reviews, 6 negative. Average rating is 3.7/10.

Judging by the trailers, it looked like a sloppy mash of everything that the writer/director thought was really cool. A nice idea in theory, but almost also leads to something that's less than the sum of its parts. Might still be convinced to go see it though.

[Stoney Mason]

Not a big fan of synder and I thought the commericals for this looked pretty weak.

[jiji]

The Internet: The Movie

[Diunx]

Looks like typical snyder shit, won't even pirate this crap.

[Phoenix Dark]

The GAF thread is hilarious. People are honestly looking forward to this shit.

the main chick is pretty hot tho. I remember seeing her in A Serious Of Unfortunate Events and thinking damn, can't wait until your 18

*daps mupepe*

[Robo]

The trailers for this turd were fucking repulsive.  And isn't it rated PG-13?  I can think of no good reason to see this.

[Diunx]

In typical snyder fashion this movie won't be fun no matter how high you are.

[Mupepe]

The GAF thread is hilarious. People are honestly looking forward to this shit.

the main chick is pretty hot tho. I remember seeing her in A Serious Of Unfortunate Events and thinking damn, can't wait until your 18

*daps mupepe*

*daps*  Great minds think alike.

Didn't Warner screen test this and everyone hated it, so there were rumors swirling that it was so bad he might have lost the Superman movie?

[Mr. Gundam]

I liked Watchmen, but this just looks like horrible fanwank material.

An unerotic unthrilling erotic thriller

Love it.

[Phoenix Dark]

Looks unimaginably bad.  Not quite Transformers bad, but probably Tron bad.

this looks far worse than ever of those...

[Raban]

I'm probably in the same camp as Mojo and Spence watching this movie at home while stoned.

[Great Rumbler]

Snyder has described it as "Alice In Wonderland with machine guns," but it's more like The Pussycat Dolls Present Steampunk Kill Bill, only more assaultive and pandering than that description suggests.

It all amounts to an epic "so what?," and doesn't make the viewer feel much of anything except bewildered by its single-minded devotion to be the "coolest" movie ever.

[tiesto]

Looks awful, plus I hated Watchmen. 300 was OK.

[Mupepe]

Any guy who has actually sat through all of 300 more than once is a homo.  What a boring fucking movie.  It was only entertaining seeing it on a big ass theater screen.  On my tv, their man meat is about as big as mine so who cares?

[WrikaWrek]

Snyder delivers if you take care of the script before he arrives on scene.

[Great Rumbler]

With all of his green-screen, CGI, treated-image technology, all Snyder does here is transport the audience into the middle of a pretty lame video game.

Hands-down the most nightmarishly awful film of the year.

Its awkwardly embedded message of female empowerment fails to overcome the fact that it is ultimately a big, dumb, loud genre mashup coming soon to a "man cave" near you.

[Smooth Groove]

another overhyped PS3 exclusive

Year of the PS3 continues

[choco parfait]

It clearly had all the trappings of a horrible movie... but darn it, I can't help but like schoolgirl-samurai-sword-wielding-robot-shooting-geekiness on the big screen!

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Will wait for the internet to generate fappable pictures and videos of Emily Browning.  That is the extent of my interest in the movie.

[Mr. Gundam]

I can't help but like schoolgirl-samurai-sword-wielding-robot-shooting-geekiness on the big screen!

Nope.

[Phoenix Dark]

Zach Snyder can film a halfway competent action sequence, even with his overuse of slo-mo.  Michael Bay cannot at all.  Tron was just fucking boring.  That's what I'm basing this on.

Fuck you're right. But Shia makes Transformers tolerable at times!

Never seen Tron, I'm not a nerd

[BlueTsunami]

Whats horrible is I bet the burlesque bullshit Snyder is using as a frame for all the actiony shit doesn't seem to add any real or quality exposition to balance out the action. And whats even worse is that these "real life" parts take up a good chunk of the movie so its not even primarily action driven from the ratio I've seen from people who've watched it. If you want to throw in salt 'cause you feel the dish needs it you don't throw in a fucking fistful, just sprinkle that shit. But fuck it, I could probably watch Emily Browning eatch a juicy peach and be able to jerk to completion which is why I'm probably catching a matinee showing. I'm part of the problem.

[Phoenix Dark]

300 was very fun; perhaps the most fun I've ever had at the theater. Watchmen had a some flashes but ultimately Snyder focused so much on re-creating exact visuals from the comic that he completely overlooked "stuff that makes a movie not suck" like good acting and writing. He seems like a George Lucas style hands-off director who only cares about visuals and bringing his shitty vision to life in as many bright colors as possible.

[Human Snorenado]

Looks terrible, will watch and never learn about not seeing Zach Snyder movies

Also, everyone bashing this for being "videogame nerd shit" had better have given that stupid Scott Pilgrim movie the same treatment.  Just sayin.

[Phoenix Dark]

Also, everyone bashing this for being "videogame nerd shit" had better have given that stupid Scott Pilgrim movie the same treatment.  Just sayin.

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nerds officially on notice

[Great Rumbler]

But fuck it, I could probably watch Emily Browning eatch a juicy peach and be able to jerk to completion which is why I'm probably catching a matinee showing.

Well, okay, but make sure you keep it on the down low, don't pull a Paul Reubens.

[chronovore]

Sorry dudes, this movie will be awesome in the comfort of my home while blazed.

Can't wait for it to open in Japan, where I will have an Yebisu beer in each hand. This will ensure I get buzzed, as well as prevent me from giving into Pee-Wee Herman-like temptation in the theater.

[Diunx]

Micheal bay >>>>> shit snyder.

[Robo]

Zach Snyder will never make a movie as good as Bad Boys (or Bad Boys 2).

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Looks terrible, will watch and never learn about not seeing Zach Snyder movies

Also, everyone bashing this for being "videogame nerd shit" had better have given that stupid Scott Pilgrim movie the same treatment.  Just sayin.

Scott Pilgrim was a bad movie.

As many strikes as Sucker Punch has against it, it is still very likely that it will be a better movie than Scott Pilgrim.

[CajoleJuice]

Yeah that's stretching it.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I like this line from the AV club review especially:

"Only this time, Snyder is pandering to the Barely Legal demographic rather than trafficking in over-the-top homoeroticism.

You [like] this comment

[Raban]

Saw this on the GiantBomb status updates and I find it sums up my opinion of this film:

Sucker Punch might be terrible, but I have to see it to get context for the slashfic, which is sure to be a delight.

[bork]

Took the wife to see this...thought if nothing else, it would be easy for her to follow, but uh...nope.   

I don't know what the hell I just watched.  It was like there was kinda-sorta a regular movie in there that just threw in random cut scenes straight out of various video games.  Would not recommend anyone go to the theater to see this, or see this film at all for that matter.

Also, those poor dragons.   :'(

[bork]

Do any of the girls kiss each other?

  No.   

Seriously, the name of this film is perfect...it's exactly what you feel like happened to you after you watched it!

Here is the plot in a nutshell:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The whole movie is a dream within a dream.  The lead girl's mother dies, her greedy stepfather finds out that her and her sister are the heirs to her money, tries to hurt the sister, and the lead girl gets a gun and accidentally shoots her sister.  He gets her committed to an insane asylum and pays off an orderly to get her lobotomized.  From here she starts dreaming and the asylum turns into a burlesque-type club that's a front for a brothel.  She gets some other girls to break out of there with her.  Apparently she's a really awesome dancer...so good that she mesmerizes the room.  They used this as a distraction to steal the stuff that they need to break out. 

Now, this might actually sound like a real movie when you read this, but here's the thing- everytime she starts dancing, you don't get to see anything.  Instead the film changes to random video game cut scenes.  There is no other way to describe it...shit-tons of CG,  panty shots, cliches all over the place, etc. etc.  It's basically like watching sequences from Onimusha, Killzone, Final Fantasy VII, and random LOTR-like game with dragons. 

The film ends with her getting lobotomized.  Turns out that the shit they all did in the dream actually happened in the asylum.  Some of the other girls die, and in the end the main girl helps another girl to escape.   They catch the crooked orderly and he starts telling the cops how her dad paid him off.  We get to see her face, and she's "gone," but smiling.  The other girl gets on a bus and leaves. 

The end.  Money wasted!

[close]

[bork]

Normally I wouldn't want to see this, but after seeing Scott Pilgrim recently and actually liking it maybe I'll like this too. 

I wasn't that thrilled with Scott Pilgrim, but it's leagues better than Sucker Punch. 

[Diunx]

SP had some actual talent behind it.

[Human Snorenado]

Normally I wouldn't want to see this, but after seeing Scott Pilgrim recently and actually liking it maybe I'll like this too. 

You should probably get out of your own head, because the sickness is coming from inside you.

[Cormacaroni]

SP had some actual talent behind it.

hint: both movies you are discussing have the initials 'SP'

[Diunx]

But only one have a talented director.

Hint: it isn't shit snyder.

[ferrarimanf355]

Also, everyone bashing this for being "videogame nerd shit" had better have given that stupid Scott Pilgrim movie the same treatment.  Just sayin.

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(Image removed from quote.)
nerds officially on notice