Shit that you did as a kid

[Skidmark]

1st grade:
We didn't have ice cream trucks, we chased garbage trucks. If we are lucky we sometimes get one of those trucks that sprays some kind of smoke to kill insects. We used to run after it and stay as long as we can in the smoke cloud that it leaves behind it and just rave.

2nd grade at school:
Ninja fights: In the school's playground, we would hold the bars and hang from them like monkeys and then use our legs to kick the living shit out of each other. last guy remaining wins.

There was also this kid that I only saw at the school playground during breaks, I used to go up to him and tease him until he snaps and starts chasing me around the playground, when he gives up I start chasing him till he decides to start chasing me again. I did this thing everyday for several months in a row until one day he started crying and throwing sand in the air. Till that point I thought that we were friends and that was just a game that we were playing.

3rd grade:
WWF: After class, when the teacher leaves the room and before the next one comes in, in those fight minutes we would close the door and turn the classroom in the wrestling ring, the whole class did this. Usually no one wanted to fight me so I always had to talk about how awesome and tough everybody else is so they won't mind me kicking them a bit.

4th grade:
Tackle: Me and some other guy would walk around the school during breaks and see how many kids we can tackle until we get busted. Basically we subtly put a foot in front of the kids that are running around us so they fall down. The thing here is to do it without them or anyone else seeing us do it. It didn't take a long time till everyone was aware of our game and it just wasn't fun any longer.

Outside school:
The garbage truck used to drive by around 5:00 pm, so around that time we would wait for it and then try to kick the football right in front of its back wheel as it is making the corner. We were trying to see if it would flip over or if the guys hanging at the back of it would fall down. nothing happened time after time.

Throwing stones: a kid would stand at each side of the street and would throw a stone at each other, didn't play this game a lot, especially after my friend got hit in the face and told his mom about me.

5th grade:
Tabasco gambling: Each of us would buy a bottle of Tabasco at the store next to school, the first one to finish drinking his wins. that was about it i guess but there were times that we would do it several times a week out of boredom.

Outside school:
The lampposts we had turned off for a good minute or two if you kick them hard enough, so we tried to turn them all off before the first one turns on again. After a while we realized that there is no way we would be able to have them all turned off at the same time, and at that point we have wasted a lot of time and effort to just see how the street would look like with all of them off. So we started climbing the lampposts and unscrewed all the bulbs. A couple of days later, they were all replaced and also had an extra hard plastic cover around them and we really wanted to show our other friends what we did a couple of nights ago. So we started throwing rocks at them until we broke all of them.

We found a maintenance truck parked in the neighborhood with the doors unlocked, me and two guy took turns on it. one drives and the other two would push it up hill and down hill again. we tried drifting using the handbrake but not much happened. but till this day I remember the adrenaline rush I had.

There was a lot of shit that I did as well, scratched a neighbors car with rocks because his son tricked my friend in pockemon cards. Threw a whole paint bucket over my friends new bikes when they were not at home because I didn't like them, when asked about it I said that I saw a gardner walk into their backyard. Stole cigarettes from the local store with some friends and then went in again and stole some perfume, soap and chewing gums so our parents won't notice. Found a local securities radio device, a walki talky, kept shouting penis over and over again for hours. Beaten up my best friend in front of his parents and my parents found out about it I said that his dad tried to choke me. Pretended that I was some gangsters younger brother among the much older guys that drive around the rec. center, I have shouted their names a couple of times and they would come over and kick a guys ass for me, one of my friends didn't believe me and he got his ass beaten by them.

[naff]

We didn't have ice cream trucks, we chased garbage trucks. If we are lucky we sometimes get one of those trucks that sprays some kind of smoke to kill insects. We used to run after it and stay as long as we can in the smoke cloud that it leaves behind it and just rave

  This is the best one

I was pretty normal in primary, played music (wind instruments, and yeah I went to band camp and it was hot), read a lot, played vidya. We used to play games with the girls behind the pumpshed at school we lived near hop fields, at harvest these big tractors pulling trailers full of hops would drive through town, I grew up in a one street town, but it was a really fucking long street so we'd chase the tractors with trailers and jump in with the hops for lifts to the other end of town.
    When I went to highschool I started smokin weed and got done for some stupid stuff, some dodgy guys a form above me used to steal shit from letterboxes, one time, being the preppy lookin white boy, I cashed a cheque they found for a lawyers firm, of course, later on I got done for fraud, and one summer in 5th form when we were really bored we stole some cars and rallied them up in the firebreaks till they broke down. Because of my previous fraudulent activities police found my prints on one of the broken down cars we stole. Thankfully I was like 14 and 15 when these things happened and I learnt my lesson! Clean records

[Mr. Gundam]

We played Ghostbusters a whole lot in elementary school. Our proton packs were big external frame hiking backpacks with telephone chords and flashlights. We'd run around the neighborhood bustin' ghots.

[Diunx]

Play nintendo games.

[Phoenix Dark]

Weekends:
Many times a week we used to camp out in our basement on Friday nights in anticipation of Saturday cartoons. We'd get our covers, pillows etc and bring them downstairs, then play games to determine who got to sleep where. Whoever woke up first got to decide perhaps the most important decision: which channel to watch, UPN or WB. UPN showed stuff like Goosebumps iirc, while WB had Looney Tunes, Batman TAS, etc. WB usually won, although we'd turn to UPN later to see Goosebumps regardless

Summer:
-I'd wake up every day pretty early to do my chores so I could spend the day outside. I'd get my Pokemon deck and my Gameboy and literally go house to house challenging people. Sometimes a kid might tell you a story about some other kid deep in the suburb who had all the Pokemon cards, or Mew in the Gameboy game, or a ROM of Pokemon Gold/Silver with a decent English translation. The directions were always simple: "go 20 houses down, cross the street, then run through the red house's yard to get to the other side and go 10 more houses down. His house has a green garage door."

-Bible camp. When I was super young my grandma would take me down to Detroit to stay with her for a week. I used to tell the kids my name was Jason and they'd gasp and say "like the Green Ranger?" and I'd be like "yup." I'm guessing that trick only worked in the black community, where no one is really named Jason

Winter:

There used to be a golf course behind our house, and during the winter we'd take our sleighs and ride down the hills. One time we walked well past the golf course into an open field of snow, and found a red shed in the middle of nowhere. There was a BB gun on the table in there, and some tools and old magazines. A couple weeks ago we came back and it was completely empty.

Videogames:

At the time, my grandma lived with my uncle. He had a Sega Genesis and a hand full of games: SFII, Jurassic Park, and Sonic. I could never beat Jurassic Park, and I kept getting stuck in the later Sonic stages. But I beat SFII pretty handily.

My parents finally let us get our own gaming console with the Sega Saturn; I remember wanting a Playstation but it was sold out at Sears; just think, I could have been an Sfag. I used to play stuff like Astal, Bug, Virtual Fighter, and some other stuff.

Second console was the Gamecube, which I had far more fun with initially. My brothers and I used to play Super Smash Bros, Double Dash, basically all the multiplayer games.

Random shit:

-Oftentimes my "cousin" would visit my grandma during the summer as well, and we'd play together. I remember I destroyed him in SFII using Ryu and he got pissed. Later I had to go outside and do some yard work, and he came out and punched me in the stomach as hard as he could, then pushed me into a tree trunk.

One year we both went to the bible camp. He really liked some girl, and wanted me to ask her to go out with him. He followed me into the bathroom and threatened that if I didn't ask her, he'd beat me up. I agreed. It was during lunch hour. She was eating with a bunch of girls, and I slowly walked up to ask her when my cousin pushed me onto their table; I got food and milk all over my clothes and face. Everyone started laughing, and he helped me up and said "oh I'm sorry, there was something on your shirt I was just trying to get it off" or some shit like that.

He was a few years older than me; my aunt had adopted him, so he's not really my cousin. He's been to jail multiple times and I haven't seen him in years, thankfully. Complete fucking piece of shit. On a side note, the same aunt adopted other kids, who are certainly family; I just refuse to acknowledge that fucker is a member of my family.

[Great Rumbler]

While PD was watching cartoons, Skidmark was chugging Tabasco sauce and playing in clouds of insect poison. 

[Groogrux]

Before I even started school, I had been sent home from one neighbor's house for taking a dump in their front yard because their dog pooped in ours.  I also broke into another neighbor's house at 6:30am because they had a sweet new drumset and I really wanted to play it.  They weren't pleased with my musical talents...

In grade school, I had a friend that lived a few streets away from me and we would ride our bikes all over town.  It was nothing for us to be a few miles away from home at any given time.  We liked to sneak into the "back room" at the local video store when the clerk wasn't looking.  I was looking at tits and bush before any of the other kids in school.  I miss the good old days.

When I was in high school, I was a band geek.  I spent the last two years of high school doing a lot of drinking and smoking pot.  Life was good.

[Stoney Mason]

Randoms things I either thought or did as a kid.

Told my friends we lived in a mansion and were rich and then tried everyway possible not to get them to cover over and see my lies.

I confused the words "rake" and "rape". I thought a rape was when you got a rake and used it roll a women across a lawn like leaves while she was naked. And the bad part must be that rake tips must cut her body so she bleeds and that's why it was bad.

I thought people were killed by earthquakes because the ground opened up and swallowed them and then closed and crushed them. I thought that was the only way people could die during an earthquake.

My grandmother use to babysit me and make me bologna sandwiches with mayo. I hate mayo. But instead of telling her I hated mayo I would just hide the sandwiches in her room when she left as I watched TV. This went on for weeks. Needs to say she was pissed when she eventually found them and that was the end of my grandmother babysitting me.

I use to feed the dogs in my neighboor the lunch meat my mother would buy that I didn't like. My mother knew something was up when random dogs would start approaching our house expecting to be fed whenever anybody went outside. I also use to sometimes put hot sauce on the meat because I was curious if it would effect the dogs.

One of my great aunts use to keep those returnable empty glass coke bottle containers in her garage. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to go out into the garage one time and drink from the nasty ass bottles that had been put in there to get the last remants of coca-cola. There was a roach in one of the bottles that ran into my mouth when I tipped it up to drink from it. I spit it out and freaked out and just sat in the garage screaming until my great aunt and great uncle came in and found me.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Then vs. Now

- Scoured the internet to download low quality, low res brief clips of porn on a 14400 bps connection that would often slump to 8600 or whatever bps.  Now I stream that shit like a boss   I got used to fapping to pictures and porn stories.

- Did well in school.  Scored off the charts in everything, took the SATs in 7th grade and did well on them, and was scheduled to start taking college classes the following year.  Now I just do a notch or two above the barest minimum, enough to impress the bosses who are used to subpar, below bare minimum performances from other coworkers.

- I used to own a NES with Mario 3.  Since we were near dirt floor poor, it was all I had, until I got Zelda 2 later.  So I'd just beat SMB3 every weekend and did so enthusiastically.  It got to the point where I never lost a life.  Now I can't be bothered to complete even a quarter of any given game, unless it is Dynasty Warriors.  I also really like Zelda 2, probably because it was all I had to play for a while.  I think it gets a lot of unwarranted hate.

- I used to program little things in C++ and QBasic as a kid.  Now if I have to enter a complex formula or a macro in Excel, I cringe.

Yeah, things started to go downhill around 8th grade or so, right around the time I discovered porn and online forums.  Rarely has there been such a downward trajectory.

[Skidmark]

One of my great aunts use to keep those returnable empty glass coke bottle containers in her garage. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to go out into the garage one time and drink from the nasty ass bottles that had been put in there to get the last remants of coca-cola. There was a roach in one of the bottles that ran into my mouth when I tipped it up to drink from it. I spit it out and freaked out and just sat in the garage screaming until my great aunt and great uncle came in and found me.

I can imagine myself as a kid doing something like that 

Before I even started school, I had been sent home from one neighbor's house for taking a dump in their front yard because their dog pooped in ours.  I also broke into another neighbor's house at 6:30am because they had a sweet new drumset and I really wanted to play it.  They weren't pleased with my musical talents...

Badass 

[Positive Touch]

I confused the words "rake" and "rape". I thought a rape was when you got a rake and used it roll a women across a lawn like leaves while she was naked. And the bad part must be that rake tips must cut her body so she bleeds and that's why it was bad.

holy shit

- Scoured the internet to download low quality, low res brief clips of porn on a 14400 bps connection that would often slump to 8600 or whatever bps.  Now I stream that shit like a boss   I got used to fapping to pictures and porn stories.


Yeah, things started to go downhill around 8th grade or so, right around the time I discovered porn and online forums.  Rarely has there been such a downward trajectory.

same here.  i still prefer a hot pic over a vid sometimes just because i never grew up with videos.  and with school i was also a kid who did great and got excellent scores, til 7th grade when i started hanging around pothead nerds and lost my will to do pretty much anything.  at least you've graudated from college and make all money tho.  i'm scraping by my second semester and i'm almost 30

[bork]

It's funny how incredibly tame (and lame!) this was, looking back.

If you used a computer in the late 80s/early 90s, chances are you might remember a program called "Print Shop."  Kids in school used to use it to make party invitations.  It was also really, really easy to copy one.

At the end of fifth grade, the biggest bitch in our grade had a graduation party at her house, and proudly went around announcing it handing out invitations.  Only she didn't invite a number of kids in class, and made sure to let them know out loud they weren't invited.  I didn't get one, which I expected since we hated each other and all, but one of my friends did.  And he and another friend went to my house after school, copying the look of the invitation, but changing the text to something stupid.  I think it said something like "Come to so-and-so's condemned house for graduation!  SKINNY DIPPING PARTY.  COME NAKED!"  (it was a lot funnier when I was 11!) We had a good laugh and that was that.

The next day, that second friend decided to bring the fake invitation to school, to "give it back to me."  (note:  why not just throw it out?)  He wound up showing it to one of the worst kids in school, who grabbed it and then ran around showing everybody.  This all happened before I got to school that morning.  When I found what happened though, it was AWESOME.  The girl was running around to each classroom, trying to find out who did it.  She was livid, and it was hilarious.

When she got to me and pointed the finger, I couldn't help it...I wanted her to know it was me.     She got all pissed off and ran to tell the teacher.  I got sent to the principal's office, which was like the worst possible thing that could happen in elementary school.  Only when I got there, he was looking at the fake invitation and smiling.  "Did you do this?"  He asked.  "Yes sir," I said.  "Was it a joke?"  "Yes," I replied, as he chuckled.  "OK.  You can go now," he said.  And that was it.  I never got in trouble for anything.  As I was going back to class, my two friends came walking along, saying they'd admitted to taking part in it.  I told them it was all good and went back to the classroom.

The girl was smiling deviously, thinking something bad had happened to me (which is pretty stupid since this was right at the end of the year and it was onto middle school).  I strolled up to her desk and told her the principal loved it, then laughed right in her face, turning that smile back upside down. 

Good times.

[cool breeze]

In preschool I fell into a toilet

[Akala]

when I was in kindergarten (through second grade, I think), we used to play "trip fight" where we would all run around full speed and try and trip each other. I know, right? we also would play joust, but that usually ended badly. the boys and girls used to play hide-and-seek as teams. there was this one time I remember where this kid thought he was so suave, and let the girls catch him and take him to their base. they ended up rubbing poison ivy all over him, I think he almost died or something...it was a fiasco. this other time we were playing hide-and-seek, I locked myself up in a locker, because I heard some kid broke out easily. I was always the type who believed I could match anyone. what a fucking jackass I was...I ended up screaming at the top of my lungs for hours until someone noticed me. guess I won the game though.

when I was in grade school, there were the remains of what must have been a tetherball thing. it was just this 3-4 foot aluminum metal pipe, that was clanged together sharply...jutting out of a concrete slab. the games we came up with revolving around that thing.

we also used to race out to the swings for recess...the swings were tall, and fun to jump off of. most people I grew up with broke something jumping off of those swings.

also, when I was a child, monkey bars were high as shit. I guess they were that high to dissuade children from falling off...cause that shit hurt.