Author Topic: ONLY A FEW MORE HOURS TO REPENT AND SAVE YOUR SOUL (Read 3343 times)

Himu · « **on:** May 20, 2011, 03:05:53 PM »

JESUS IS COMING DOWN IN JUST A FEW MORE HOURS TO DESTROY THIS EARTH, WHERE HE WILL TAKE THE GOOD ONES UP TO VALHALLA.

Take out the suntan lotion, cigars, Metallica and swim shorts because I'm gonna dine in HELL, baby!

What do you plan on doing during the incoming apocalypse, EB? Loot houses? There will only be one currency in hell, baby! And that's SOULS. Which sin will you partake in your final hours? Mine will be ANAL SEX.

Let's do this shit, Jesus!

Mupepe · « **Reply #1 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:06:27 PM »

i'm gonna jack off so that when jesus cums, i cum.

Himu · « **Reply #2 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:07:24 PM »

"That's quite a load, my son. You're allowed in."

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #3 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:10:12 PM »

I'm going to play Civ 4

Himu · « **Reply #4 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:10:42 PM »

Civ 4 > heaven

Mupepe · « **Reply #5 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:10:48 PM »

Quote from: CajoleJuice on May 20, 2011, 03:10:12 PM

I'm going to play Civ 4

Quote from: Stringer Bell on May 20, 2011, 03:07:24 PM

"That's quite a load, my son. You're allowed in."

My loads are actually pretty weak

CajoleJuice · « **Reply #6 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:12:28 PM »

I got the ranking of Charles De Gaulle last night

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #7 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:18:46 PM »

well *i* for one am getting raptured on account of my sidehuggin' sexual mores.

Mupepe · « **Reply #8 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:19:30 PM »

God doesn't like prudes

Himu · « **Reply #9 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:22:39 PM »

Quote from: Green Man on May 20, 2011, 03:21:39 PM

This rapture thing is whatever but at least let me finish watching The Wire. I got 37 episodes left and we will all still be here to smite later on so how about we postpone it for like a week? Or you know, no smiting at all. Either way is fine.

The Wire > heaven

Nay, The Wire IS heaven

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #10 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:24:36 PM »

I still haven't finished The Witcher 2 yet!! :'(

Himu · « **Reply #11 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:25:00 PM »

Quote from: mojovonio on May 20, 2011, 03:21:51 PM

I heard heaven isn't as good as it was when they didn't let mexicans in.

Ed!

NOOOO

Himu · « **Reply #12 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:26:01 PM »

Quote from: mojovonio on May 20, 2011, 03:25:05 PM

FYI

Not the first time he predicted it and got it wrong.

Who? God?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #13 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:39:44 PM »

Quote from: Matthew 24

However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.

“When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah’s day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn’t realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.

“Two men will be working together in the field; one will be taken, the other left. Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left.

“So you, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming. Understand this: If a homeowner knew exactly when a burglar was coming, he would keep watch and not permit his house to be broken into. You also must be ready all the time, for the Son of Man will come when least expected.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:40:15 PM »

But I thought the son WAS the father.

Mupepe · « **Reply #15 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:55:11 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on May 20, 2011, 03:40:15 PM

But I thought the son WAS the father.

Depends on which denomination you believe in

archie4208 · « **Reply #16 on:** May 20, 2011, 03:58:00 PM »

Gonna play some Witcher 2.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #17 on:** May 20, 2011, 04:04:13 PM »

Quote from: archie4208 on May 20, 2011, 03:58:00 PM

Gonna play some Witcher 2.

Same.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #18 on:** May 20, 2011, 04:33:57 PM »

etiolate · « **Reply #19 on:** May 20, 2011, 04:57:41 PM »

drew · « **Reply #20 on:** May 20, 2011, 05:01:16 PM »

i plan on killing looters

T234 · « **Reply #21 on:** May 20, 2011, 05:03:55 PM »

At least I'll be stoned during this catastrophic event, unlike the turn of the millennium.

Hitler Stole My Potato · « **Reply #22 on:** May 20, 2011, 05:27:21 PM »

Just went to an "End of the World" garage/estate sale. The people were selling basically everything they owned. I bought a brand new chainsaw for 10 bucks.

I probably should go back out and see if I can't find anymore of these things. I've been reading about it in the news but I wasn't expecting to run into any of these doomsday people so close to my house.

drew · « **Reply #23 on:** May 20, 2011, 06:15:13 PM »

Quote from: Green Man on May 20, 2011, 05:50:30 PM

I hope they're giving that money to Red Cross.

so young and naive

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #24 on:** May 20, 2011, 07:22:37 PM »

If it happens, they'll take my wife and leave me behind.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #25 on:** May 20, 2011, 07:24:03 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on May 20, 2011, 07:22:37 PM

If it happens, they'll take my wife and leave me behind.

At least the gaming backlog will get cleared up.

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #26 on:** May 20, 2011, 07:42:42 PM »

i thought it happens tommorow

Diunx · « **Reply #27 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:22:41 PM »

GONNA GET FUCKING DRUNK WITH SOME DEVIL HOT DEVIL CHICKS TOMORROW!!!!

etiolate · « **Reply #28 on:** May 20, 2011, 09:55:25 PM »

Quote from: drew on May 20, 2011, 05:01:16 PM

i plan on painkiller looting

fixt

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #29 on:** May 20, 2011, 10:34:14 PM »

I guess Willco will be posting tomorrow

Groogrux · « **Reply #30 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:06:00 PM »

Less than one hour left y'all.

Cause if you don't already know that Jesus works on Eastern Time, then yer dead wrong.

Van Cruncheon · « **Reply #31 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:09:23 PM »

got raptured, they have internet here in heaven

all that sidehuggin paid off, sinners

Groogrux · « **Reply #32 on:** May 20, 2011, 11:45:19 PM »

Quote from: Van Cruncheon on May 20, 2011, 11:09:23 PM

got raptured, they have internet here in heaven

all that sidehuggin paid off, sinners

Broadband or Mobile? If it's mobile, who's the carrier? It all depends on the carrier.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #33 on:** May 21, 2011, 12:02:55 AM »

Quote from: Van Cruncheon on May 20, 2011, 11:09:23 PM

got raptured, they have internet here in heaven

all that sidehuggin paid off, sinners

to bad you cant look up porn or gore

have fun browsing christian message boards til the end of eternity

Diunx · « **Reply #34 on:** May 21, 2011, 12:17:02 AM »

World still here I knew this was a false god, praise ganesha bitches!

naff · « **Reply #35 on:** May 21, 2011, 12:22:20 AM »

Apocalypse happened down under bout 12 hours ago. Shit was WILD

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #36 on:** May 21, 2011, 12:28:19 AM »

Picked my mom up from the airport and was on the highway when the Rapture occurred. So glad no one on the road was saved, so we avoided car crashes

Diunx · « **Reply #37 on:** May 21, 2011, 12:37:00 AM »

Still not raptured, god don't care about latinos.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #38 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:29:03 AM »

Back from the big ol' rapture party.

Good news. God likes Gundam. A lot.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #39 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:53:25 AM »

I have coated myself in petroleum jelly from head to toe in anticipation of the rapture.

Barry Egan · « **Reply #40 on:** May 21, 2011, 03:10:17 AM »

Seems like all the Icons made the cut. I didn't read anything about the virtue of cock pics in the bible

pilonv1 · « **Reply #41 on:** May 21, 2011, 05:34:43 AM »

7:30pm here and nothing. I'm so disappointed I'm going to turn on my PS3

Diunx · « **Reply #42 on:** May 21, 2011, 09:04:34 AM »

Do they have a taco bell in heaven? Not gonna let them rapture me if I can't enjoy a 1/2 pound bean and fries burrito.

Boogie · « **Reply #43 on:** May 21, 2011, 09:09:41 AM »

Quote from: My F*cking Grandpa on May 21, 2011, 03:10:17 AM

Seems like all the Icons made the cut. I didn't read anything about the virtue of cock pics in the bible

dammit, my one lapse!

demi · « **Reply #44 on:** May 21, 2011, 09:11:09 AM »

Can I fuck Joe yet?

The Sceneman · « **Reply #45 on:** May 21, 2011, 09:31:47 AM »

I played PS3 for several hours tonight, world must be ending

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #46 on:** May 21, 2011, 10:53:22 AM »

Quote from: demi on May 21, 2011, 09:11:09 AM

Can I fuck Joe yet?

I'd figured you'd already be getting raped for eternity by Satan's giant thorned cock.

Third · « **Reply #47 on:** May 21, 2011, 01:49:28 PM »

More religious bullcrap.

A friend of mine started to pray yesterday. I've sent some mocking messages to her. But she won't reply...

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #48 on:** May 21, 2011, 02:42:04 PM »

The Family Radio website is down

Barry Egan · « **Reply #49 on:** May 21, 2011, 03:11:34 PM »

gawker has a live stream of the rapture up

http://gawker.com/5804199/live-coverage-of-the-end-of-the-world

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #50 on:** May 21, 2011, 03:40:23 PM »

Quote from: Third on May 21, 2011, 01:49:28 PM

I've sent some mocking messages to her. But she won't reply...

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on May 21, 2011, 02:42:04 PM

The Family Radio website is down

Time to start reading up...

Groogrux · « **Reply #51 on:** May 21, 2011, 04:32:09 PM »

Himu · « **Reply #52 on:** May 21, 2011, 04:35:30 PM »

I watched the first Left Behind movie. It was fucking awesome.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #53 on:** May 21, 2011, 05:00:20 PM »

[youtube=560,345]dnhKPw2NXIw[/youtube]

Diunx · « **Reply #54 on:** May 21, 2011, 05:04:39 PM »

Lol I knew this was bullsh

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #55 on:** May 21, 2011, 05:39:25 PM »

demo can you promote me so i can die a non leper

Barry Egan · « **Reply #56 on:** May 21, 2011, 06:03:36 PM »

there was a huge rainbow outside my window just now

Himu · « **Reply #57 on:** May 21, 2011, 07:49:39 PM »

Hitler Stole My Potato · « **Reply #58 on:** May 21, 2011, 11:34:17 PM »

http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/europe/05/21/iceland.volcano/index.html?hpt=T1

Well, there you go. Rapture is on motherfuckers.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #59 on:** May 22, 2011, 01:48:43 PM »

Quote from: Green Man on May 21, 2011, 07:41:20 PM

Appropriate:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/63687/detail/

Perfect

News:

Author Topic: ONLY A FEW MORE HOURS TO REPENT AND SAVE YOUR SOUL (Read 3343 times)