Author Topic: Transformers: Dark of the Moon [because we didn't wanna be sued by Roger Waters] (Read 5293 times)

Great Rumbler · « **on:** June 28, 2011, 06:33:33 PM »

Quote from: Roger Ebert

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is a visually ugly film with an incoherent plot, wooden characters and inane dialog. It provided me with one of the more unpleasant experiences I've had at the movies.

Quote from: Richard Roeper

Rarely has a movie had less of a soul and less interesting characters.

Quote from: Philadelphia Inquirer

The overwhelming sci-fi action spectacle is a merciless sensorial assault that leaves you with something akin to post-traumatic stress disorder.

Quote from: Globe and Mail

Don't worry about remembering the characters -- the movie certainly doesn't.

Quote from: Boston Herald

Given the choice between sitting through 154 minutes of Transformers: Dark of the Moon and being waterboarded, I plead: Waterboard me!

Quote from: Dallas Morning News

The biggest casualties in this third installment of the robot franchise from director Michael Bay are storytelling and character development.

91 reviews, 59 rotten. 4.9/10 average.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_dark_of_the_moon/

Enjoy!

lennedsay · « **Reply #1 on:** June 28, 2011, 06:36:07 PM »

Day 1

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #2 on:** June 28, 2011, 06:40:14 PM »

Quote from: Spencer on June 28, 2011, 06:35:43 PM

my wife was telling me about some interview with Shia Leblefuusuje with him saying it's a better movie than the others.

The general consensus seems to be that it's better than the second movie, but that's hardly an accomplishment...

Robo · « **Reply #3 on:** June 28, 2011, 06:48:57 PM »

Quote from: Will Federman

Once again, Michael Bay oozes his chocolate onto my delicious sundae.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #4 on:** June 28, 2011, 06:54:20 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on June 28, 2011, 06:40:14 PM

Quote from: Spencer on June 28, 2011, 06:35:43 PM
my wife was telling me about some interview with Shia Leblefuusuje with him saying it's a better movie than the others.

The general consensus seems to be that it's better than the second movie, but that's hardly an accomplishment...

The 2nd was better than the 1st so it may be a trend.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #5 on:** June 28, 2011, 07:03:55 PM »

Quote from: Zero Hero on June 28, 2011, 06:54:20 PM

Quote from: Great Rumbler on June 28, 2011, 06:40:14 PM
Quote from: Spencer on June 28, 2011, 06:35:43 PM
my wife was telling me about some interview with Shia Leblefuusuje with him saying it's a better movie than the others.

The general consensus seems to be that it's better than the second movie, but that's hardly an accomplishment...

The 2nd was better than the 1st

You may be the only who thinks that.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #6 on:** June 28, 2011, 08:15:34 PM »

Antiitcool.com said Attack of the Clones was great.

Lerkaboi · « **Reply #7 on:** June 28, 2011, 08:24:04 PM »

[youtube=560,345][/youtube]

Oblivion · « **Reply #8 on:** June 28, 2011, 08:28:19 PM »

Wow, the new Transformers movie is already out? I haven't seen either a trailer or a commercial for it so far.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #9 on:** June 28, 2011, 08:30:56 PM »

154 minutes? Jesus Christ.

pilonv1 · « **Reply #10 on:** June 28, 2011, 08:45:22 PM »

i wish willco was back for this

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #11 on:** June 28, 2011, 08:46:06 PM »

Quote from: pilonv1 on June 28, 2011, 08:45:22 PM

i wish willco was back for this

I'm sure he'll say something about it on Facebook.

tiesto · « **Reply #12 on:** June 28, 2011, 09:15:13 PM »

Thank god the only Transformers fanboy I know went off the deep end and decided to lock himself up in his basement for who-knows-how-long... otherwise I might have been dragged to this (like I was to the first and second)... I think the only movies I hated more than Transformers 2 were Watchmen and the Star Wars movies.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #13 on:** June 28, 2011, 09:58:41 PM »

I actually kinda liked the first one as a guilty pleasure movie. Transformers 2 was so incredibly bad that I don't plan on ever seeing the new one.

Himu · « **Reply #14 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:11:24 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on June 28, 2011, 07:03:55 PM

Quote from: Zero Hero on June 28, 2011, 06:54:20 PM
Quote from: Great Rumbler on June 28, 2011, 06:40:14 PM
Quote from: Spencer on June 28, 2011, 06:35:43 PM
my wife was telling me about some interview with Shia Leblefuusuje with him saying it's a better movie than the others.

The general consensus seems to be that it's better than the second movie, but that's hardly an accomplishment...

The 2nd was better than the 1st

You may be the only who thinks that.

hell no, it truly is

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #15 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:14:09 PM »

Everything I've heard about Transformers 2, including from people that actually kind of liked the first one, is that it's an utter abomination.

Himu · « **Reply #16 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:17:04 PM »

The fights are better, you can actually TELL who is who because they all have bright identifable colors. It's not a great movie, but it's fun and has some solid action scenes in it. Transformers 1 put me to sleep.

T2 however was pretty decent. The one problem that movie has is pacing. It drags because there's a section where it's nothing but human characters and it's so boring, but after that it's nuts.

Hopefully Transformers 3 has better pacing.

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #17 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:18:21 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on June 28, 2011, 10:14:09 PM

Everything I've heard about Transformers 2, including from people that actually kind of liked the first one, is that it's an utter abomination.

Total abomination. Avoid like the plague.

Himu · « **Reply #18 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:21:27 PM »

No way. It's way better than Transformers 1!

Lerkaboi · « **Reply #19 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:22:09 PM »

TF2 has better action scenes than TF1

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #20 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:31:57 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on June 28, 2011, 10:21:27 PM

No way. It's way better than Transformers 1!

Blatantly racist robots would like to disagree.

Actually, it may be better than T1, but it's still a steaming turd of a movie.

Himu · « **Reply #21 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:33:05 PM »

Agreed with that!

Himu · « **Reply #22 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:34:45 PM »

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on June 28, 2011, 10:31:57 PM

Quote from: Stringer Bell on June 28, 2011, 10:21:27 PM
No way. It's way better than Transformers 1!

Blatantly racist robots would like to disagree.

Actually, it may be better than T1, but it's still a steaming turd of a movie.

I hope in Transformers 3 there's a burrito Transformer with a mexican accent

Will it be able to top this the Tequila Gundam?

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #23 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:40:59 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on June 28, 2011, 10:34:45 PM

Quote from: Mr. Gundam on June 28, 2011, 10:31:57 PM
Quote from: Stringer Bell on June 28, 2011, 10:21:27 PM
No way. It's way better than Transformers 1!

Blatantly racist robots would like to disagree.

Actually, it may be better than T1, but it's still a steaming turd of a movie.

I hope in Transformers 3 there's a burrito Transformer with a mexican accent

Will it be able to top this the Tequila Gundam?

According to Michael Bay, T3 is serious business.

Lerkaboi · « **Reply #24 on:** June 28, 2011, 10:47:37 PM »

the salon review is amazing

http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/transformers/index.html

Quote

"Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is too much in every direction -- too much action, too much plot, too much noise, too much destruction -- which is exactly what makes it the Wagnerian fulfillment of the American summer-movie tradition. It's a great and terrible film, in identical proportions and in all possible meanings of those words. It's got battling giant robots and hidden secrets of the American and Soviet space programs and feeble domestic comedy and random scenery-chewing shtick from an A-list supporting cast and an extreme close-up of a hot chick's bikini-clad bottom as she climbs the stairs. In 3-D! It's so massively and excessively vulgar that it doesn't just flirt with self-parody, but chews it up and spits it out, and I'm not even sure that's unintentional. In food terms, "Dark of the Moon" is like going to TGI Friday's and ordering everything on the menu and then going to Krispy Kreme and doing it again. It's not worth doing, it'll definitely make you sick and a lot of it will taste bad, but as a performance-art act of juvenile Id-fulfillment, it's magnificent.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #25 on:** June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM »

Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie

me

Stoney Mason · « **Reply #26 on:** June 28, 2011, 11:21:40 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM

Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me

I think anyone with a brain/soul has only downloaded them.

I thought the first Transformers movie was not good but the second is on a whole other level of shit. One of the worst big mainstream movies I've seen in my life. In that sense I'm morbidly curious to see the third to see if if can top the second for shit level. I'm guessing that it probably can't but who knows.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #27 on:** June 28, 2011, 11:25:57 PM »

I can't imagine ever having so much free time that I'd even download them...and I watched The Expendables. I've literally never heard or read anyone, anywhere say these movies are good. And yet people persist in watching them and worse, talking about them. Just don't get it. Also will never watch the Crystal Skull.

Stoney Mason · « **Reply #28 on:** June 28, 2011, 11:31:21 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:25:57 PM

I can't imagine ever having so much free time that I'd even download them...and I watched The Expendables. I've literally never heard or read anyone, anywhere say these movies are good. And yet people persist in watching them. Just don't get it. Also will never watch the Crystal Skull.

I think we all have our guilty pleasures. I mean I was legit interested in the first one since I was a big transformers fanboy as a kid. I don't watch any superheroes movies anymore at this point. Still haven't seen Iron Man 2 for instance and I only saw that Dark Knight movie with ledger late last year (which was good) but generally I am at the point where watching superheroes flicks seems dumb but lots of people can't seem to get enough of them.

Maybe I have more free time than most but I have lots of bars. There is what I'm willing to pay to see. What I would watch on TV. And what I would download. And what I would watch as a rifftrax. To be fair I did watch that second transformers movie via rifftrax.

Lerkaboi · « **Reply #29 on:** June 28, 2011, 11:38:50 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM

Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me

fuck you

im seeing this bitch in imax 3d

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #30 on:** June 28, 2011, 11:45:03 PM »

Quote from: Lerkaboi on June 28, 2011, 11:38:50 PM

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM
Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me
fuck you

im seeing this bitch in imax 3d

Tells me aaaaalllll I need to know, thanks!

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #31 on:** June 29, 2011, 12:31:14 AM »

I watched the first movie in theater and hated it. Didn't watch the second one and won't. Same with the third.

cool breeze · « **Reply #32 on:** June 29, 2011, 12:43:51 AM »

the first was better in the sense that it was an actual movie. the second didn't have enough coherent story to be a music video. but it was more entertaining because the robots fought good and the optimas prime is more badasser GIVE ME YOUR FACE, PUNK ASS DECEPTICON pew pew pew

I want to see the third for the wingsuit scene. tbh, I'd rather just see the wingsuit stuff without cg shit exploding and directing. I want raw footage of people flying through a city in wingsuits.

cool breeze · « **Reply #33 on:** June 29, 2011, 01:21:07 AM »

they made transformers age so you'd ignore that random teleportation to Egypt

who needs a script when you can distract viewers away from asking questions like "why am I watching a sequel to Transformers?"

Diunx · « **Reply #34 on:** June 29, 2011, 01:26:18 AM »

I hate these movies.

Himu · « **Reply #35 on:** June 29, 2011, 01:31:13 AM »

Quote from: Linkzg on June 29, 2011, 01:21:07 AM

they made transformers age so you'd ignore that random teleportation to Egypt

who needs a script when you can distract viewers away from asking questions like "why am I watching a sequel to Transformers?"

how in the hell do you remember this

Beezy · « **Reply #36 on:** June 29, 2011, 01:46:13 AM »

Watching this tomorrow. All I care about are my robot fight scenes.

Himu · « **Reply #37 on:** June 29, 2011, 01:56:14 AM »

That was Eddie Winslow?

Oblivion · « **Reply #38 on:** June 29, 2011, 02:03:21 AM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM

Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me

I haven't seen any of them either! Hell, I literally didn't even know THIS movie existed until today!

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #39 on:** June 29, 2011, 02:23:54 AM »

Oblivion

chronovore · « **Reply #40 on:** June 29, 2011, 07:59:00 AM »

Quote from: Lerkaboi on June 28, 2011, 10:47:37 PM

the salon review is amazing

http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/transformers/index.html

Quote
"Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is too much in every direction -- too much action, too much plot, too much noise, too much destruction -- which is exactly what makes it the Wagnerian fulfillment of the American summer-movie tradition. It's a great and terrible film, in identical proportions and in all possible meanings of those words. It's got battling giant robots and hidden secrets of the American and Soviet space programs and feeble domestic comedy and random scenery-chewing shtick from an A-list supporting cast and an extreme close-up of a hot chick's bikini-clad bottom as she climbs the stairs. In 3-D! It's so massively and excessively vulgar that it doesn't just flirt with self-parody, but chews it up and spits it out, and I'm not even sure that's unintentional. In food terms, "Dark of the Moon" is like going to TGI Friday's and ordering everything on the menu and then going to Krispy Kreme and doing it again. It's not worth doing, it'll definitely make you sick and a lot of it will taste bad, but as a performance-art act of juvenile Id-fulfillment, it's magnificent.

Poetry.

Mupepe · « **Reply #41 on:** June 29, 2011, 08:40:01 AM »

I liked the first and second (first was better though) so I don't care what reviewers have to say about this. I'm seeing it.

pilonv1 · « **Reply #42 on:** June 29, 2011, 08:47:12 AM »

My best friend loves these movies and he's got his 4 yo daughter into them too. She loves Bumblebee. I feel like turning him in for child abuse, but he's at least having her watch the awesome animated series and movie from the 80s.

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM

Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me

Never seen one either. We should form a club.

Club Awesome

Stoney Mason · « **Reply #43 on:** June 29, 2011, 08:50:53 AM »

The thing is I think they are just legit bad. I mean anybody who goes to see a transformers movie isn't expecting Shakespeare but those movies don't even really get what was cool about the TV show as a kid. It elevates the worst aspect of the cartoon. (Humans) at the expense of the most interesting part. The strong personalities of the actual transformers.

I mean I get for a mainstream audience you have to have actual humans be the center of the story but I kinda think that fundamentally poisons the movies right from the get go.

Mupepe · « **Reply #44 on:** June 29, 2011, 08:53:36 AM »

I have never seen an episode of the cartoon. *shrug* Guess that's why I can enjoy the movies. Plus I love Corvette that was in 2.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #45 on:** June 29, 2011, 09:12:43 AM »

TBH, when I heard that the TF movies were live action and not CGI, I knew they would be shit.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #46 on:** June 29, 2011, 09:14:56 AM »

Quote from: Oblivion on June 29, 2011, 02:03:21 AM

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM
Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me

I haven't seen any of them either! Hell, I literally didn't even know THIS movie existed until today!

Yeah I haven't seen one either. I think I'd probably prefer to be raped by a syphilitic bear.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #47 on:** June 29, 2011, 09:22:36 AM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on June 28, 2011, 11:17:38 PM

Unlike all you corporate lapdogs who bitch endlessly about how shit these movies are but go to see them anyway, I have yet to see a Transformers movie me

me neither! of course I've barely seen a movie for the past four years at all, unless you count youtube videos

pilonv1 · « **Reply #48 on:** June 29, 2011, 09:23:44 AM »

My biggest gripe is that the Transformers look like shit. I would go and watch a bad movie if I liked how they looked.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #49 on:** June 29, 2011, 11:07:36 AM »

My dislike of the Transformers movies, the first one which is the only one I've seen, is that it's just not good. Too much time spent on the HILARIOUS jokes and the action scenes weren't even that good [too chaotic]. I could go on, but that would require dredging up my memories of the movie.

Stoney Mason · « **Reply #50 on:** June 29, 2011, 11:39:43 AM »

Quote from: pilonv1 on June 29, 2011, 09:23:44 AM

My biggest gripe is that the Transformers look like shit. I would go and watch a bad movie if I liked how they looked.

The designs are shit but if the characters and the story were there I could let that pass.

Robo · « **Reply #51 on:** June 29, 2011, 11:47:09 AM »

I've seen about a quarter of the first movie sitting in an auto garage waiting for an oil change. Do I have to turn in my Kool Kids Klub sash?

Himu · « **Reply #52 on:** June 29, 2011, 12:28:09 PM »

My cousin came over with her kids the summer Transformers 2 came out.

She was like,"You see Transformers 2?" "Yeah, it was okay." "Okay?! What kind of movies do you like?!?!"

as if she were surprised I didn't put Transformers on a pedestal

Between this and my dad watching animu I don't know what to do!!!

lennedsay · « **Reply #53 on:** June 29, 2011, 01:09:10 PM »

I nominate myself for Secretary of Club Awesome. (Never seen any of these movies and never watched it in the 80's.) I can record minutes like a mothafucker.

Beezy · « **Reply #54 on:** June 29, 2011, 02:44:04 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on June 29, 2011, 12:28:09 PM

Between this and my dad watching animu I don't know what to do!!!

...what

TEEEPO · « **Reply #55 on:** June 29, 2011, 02:45:56 PM »

transformers 2 was far more entertaining than this filth. atleast i was laughing constantly at how bad that movie was because of its general lack of care on how it went about doing things.

i'd also like to add that imax3d is trash. i'm not even a fan of 3d but i don't see why people go fucking nuts over those shit screens and shity outdated 90s 3d tech. guess the imax brand name goes a long way. reald shits all over it and is a good percentage wise cheaper.

Herr Mafflard · « **Reply #56 on:** June 29, 2011, 02:56:01 PM »

I've seen every Michael Bay film except this one. What club does that put me in?

:-'

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #57 on:** June 29, 2011, 04:29:07 PM »

I never really watched the TV cartoon either beyond being dimly aware of it in the background when my sister/some kid I was babysitting was watching, BUT I have to admit I always did kinda like the theme song.

Mupepe · « **Reply #58 on:** June 29, 2011, 04:36:09 PM »

hey homos, just bought 2 tickets to see this in IMAX 3D. Mwahahahaha

pilonv1 · « **Reply #59 on:** June 29, 2011, 10:33:05 PM »

Quote from: Beezy on June 29, 2011, 02:44:04 PM

Quote from: Stringer Bell on June 29, 2011, 12:28:09 PM
Between this and my dad watching animu I don't know what to do!!!
...what

did you miss that thread? it was grand

News:

Author Topic: Transformers: Dark of the Moon [because we didn't wanna be sued by Roger Waters] (Read 5293 times)