My family reunions are very close to the Player Hater's Ball: Kentucky Edition

[T234]

Goddamn what the fuck is wrong with some of these people. You would think these people would be nicer because we hold it every year at my parent's house, and I help out a ton, but nah.

(all sentences not in quote marks are mine)
Choice asshole quotes:

"I see you finally came out to get some food."
I was in the shower.
"I thought you were asleep."
I was up before anybody else here was.
"What time is that, eleven?"
I was up before dawn.
(that chick smokes crack and makes a living burning down things for the insurance money)

"Here comes Thor, ain't nobody getting any Mac and Cheese."
Motherfucker, I weigh 150 pounds less than you do, and I'm taller.

(after a five minute diatribe from him about them prescribing me painkillers after my very recent tooth pull.)
"All you need after getting a tooth pulled is Tylenol. It's all I ever needed anyway."
How 'bout I take a drill to your jaw and let's find out?

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Cerveza mas fina]

Thor should be living up north.

[MrAngryFace]

Break out the giant dildo, sounds like some folks need to get learned

[Dickie Dee]

Your stories are always a wierd dichotomy, you make Kentucky sound like the worst place in the world while simultaneously making it sound like the best place in the world.

[T234]

Kentucky is what you make it, good or bad, depending on who you know and how much money you got.

[MrAngryFace]

I'm pretty sure I'd get eaten alive in Kentucky - been a suburb brat most of my life

[T234]

Just mention that you're from a medical state and bring some nice green medicine with you and you would be real popular

[Phoenix Dark]

Sounds like family reunions suck no matter the state. I need to start coming up with my excuse for why I'm not going this year. The old guy who runs it calls me every other year to complain about the young generation not carrying on tradition, and the red menace danger of not attending family reunions: incest. "If you don't know who your family is, no tellin' who you might marry and come to find out they ya cousin." One of these days I'm just gonna say "guess I'll just marry a white woman then!" and hang up, he's annoying

[T234]

 

[Himu]

I hate family reunions. Even more people I have to pretend to like, who I see once a year.

[Phoenix Dark]

I hate family reunions. Even more people I have to pretend to like, who I see once a year.

And then when you go, all the young people are sitting in one place looking bored as fuck while the older people sit around laughing/eating. You try to start a conversation but no matter where the convo starts, it leads to religion

40yo dude: I've been watching this Europe show, Dr. Who
old lady: who?
40yo dude: It's a sci fi show
30yo dude: yea I heard it's aite
me: one day I'll give it a shot
deacon dude: Dr. Who, Dr. You. what you need is Dr. Jesus
old lady: amen!
 

[Himu]

I haven't been to a family reunion since I got into college. I have made excuse after excuse NOT to go. In fact, our family reunion was last weekend.

[Himu]

I hate family reunions. Even more people I have to pretend to like, who I see once a year.

And then when you go, all the young people are sitting in one place looking bored as fuck while the older people sit around laughing/eating. You try to start a conversation but no matter where the convo starts, it leads to religion

40yo dude: I've been watching this Europe show, Dr. Who
old lady: who?
40yo dude: It's a sci fi show
30yo dude: yea I heard it's aite
me: one day I'll give it a shot
deacon dude: Dr. Who, Dr. You. what you need is Dr. Jesus
old lady: amen!
 

he has a point. the doctor is a staunch atheist.

[Phoenix Dark]

My family reunions are always awesome.  Every is smart and they like to eat and drink.  To be honest there isn't a single person in my family I dislike.

except you I guess

[Himu]

annihilated

[Dickie Dee]

My family reunions are always awesome.  Every is smart and they like to eat and drink.  To be honest there isn't a single person in my family I dislike.

Typo aside, I'm with you, my extended family is pretty awesome

dealwithit.gif

[Diunx]

My family reunions are great, lots of alcohol, lots of food and my aunts start gossiping about the distant relatives.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I now avoid family reunions.

I have about 60 cousins, several of whom I've never met.

At the last reunion, I attended, one cousin thought she had to take a shit when she was really giving birth (she's fat).  So the baby hit his head on the toilet seat and now has developmental problems.  It's very unfortunate but she and her husband love to play up a martyr complex, pushing this disabled child in front of our faces with a forlorn look on her face.  It makes the whole thing uncomfortable but she just can't be uninvited.  There are also several cousins who are drunk rednecks that get soused and rowdy as it progresses.  Sounds like fun except some of them like to get into fights with each other as some of them have shared some women (maybe together at the same time, I don't know and don't want to know) over the years.

There are some intelligent family members but most of them stay far away from us.  One guy was an engineer and through patents, was able to retire in his early 40s.  Good for him.

[Mr. Gundam]

I now avoid family reunions.

I have about 60 cousins, several of whom I've never met.

At the last reunion, I attended, one cousin thought she had to take a shit when she was really giving birth (she's fat).  So the baby hit his head on the toilet seat and now has developmental problems.  It's very unfortunate but she and her husband love to play up a martyr complex, pushing this disabled child in front of our faces with a forlorn look on her face.  It makes the whole thing uncomfortable but she just can't be uninvited.  There are also several cousins who are drunk rednecks that get soused and rowdy as it progresses.  Sounds like fun except some of them like to get into fights with each other as some of them have shared some women (maybe together at the same time, I don't know and don't want to know) over the years.

There are some intelligent family members but most of them stay far away from us.  One guy was an engineer and through patents, was able to retire in his early 40s.  Good for him.

You win.

That's horribly sad, but you still win.

/thread

[Diunx]

I now avoid family reunions.

I have about 60 cousins, several of whom I've never met.

At the last reunion, I attended, one cousin thought she had to take a shit when she was really giving birth (she's fat).  So the baby hit his head on the toilet seat and now has developmental problems.  It's very unfortunate but she and her husband love to play up a martyr complex, pushing this disabled child in front of our faces with a forlorn look on her face.  It makes the whole thing uncomfortable but she just can't be uninvited.  There are also several cousins who are drunk rednecks that get soused and rowdy as it progresses.  Sounds like fun except some of them like to get into fights with each other as some of them have shared some women (maybe together at the same time, I don't know and don't want to know) over the years.

There are some intelligent family members but most of them stay far away from us.  One guy was an engineer and through patents, was able to retire in his early 40s.  Good for him.

That is an amazing story

[Groogrux]

Wow.  That story.

My family is just mostly boring.  We don't do reunions on my mom's side because nobody gets along well enough.  I don't like going to my dad's side because it's all these old people that know me and I don't know them, but they want to talk to me like I should know them...

[Great Rumbler]

I went to a few reunions when I was a lot younger, it wasn't too bad because they had it at this huge lake. I don't have any desire to go to one now, though.

[Barry Egan]

Because of my mothers Swedish genes I am 6'2 in a Jewish family that is almost entirely 5'5.  Attending Passover Sedars is like playing giants citizen kabuto but with more kvetching.

[Shaka Khan]

Gee, who isn't 6'2 on this board?

[lennedsay]

Gee, who isn't 5'2 on this board?

Fixed

[Diunx]

Gee, who isn't 6'2 on this board?

:'(

[Oblivion]

My 'family' reunions are probably a little bit different from everyone else here. Pretty much all of my mom's side of the family lives in the old country, as well as 99% of my dad's side. So I have literally around 7 or 8 people that I'm actually blood related to, which are basically my cousins. THEIR cousins (from their dad's side) and aunts and uncles and such are all here and we all grew up together, so we're kinda like family by default.

I don't necessarily dislike attending those types of reunions tho. I mean, I'd prefer not to go, but not because of any animosity or whatever. Most of them are pretty cool. But I don't go cause nobody aside from a handful of people really cares to see me.

Me: Hey, Uncle! long time no see.
Uncle: Yeah, wow how long has it been? 5-6 years?
Me: At least
Uncle: Well, don't that beat all!
*walks away*
Me:  :'(

I now avoid family reunions.

I have about 60 cousins, several of whom I've never met.

At the last reunion, I attended, one cousin thought she had to take a shit when she was really giving birth (she's fat).  So the baby hit his head on the toilet seat and now has developmental problems.  It's very unfortunate but she and her husband love to play up a martyr complex, pushing this disabled child in front of our faces with a forlorn look on her face.  It makes the whole thing uncomfortable but she just can't be uninvited.  There are also several cousins who are drunk rednecks that get soused and rowdy as it progresses.  Sounds like fun except some of them like to get into fights with each other as some of them have shared some women (maybe together at the same time, I don't know and don't want to know) over the years.

There are some intelligent family members but most of them stay far away from us.  One guy was an engineer and through patents, was able to retire in his early 40s.  Good for him.

Please...please tell me this was a joke post. Please?

[Barry Egan]

damn oblivion, what'd you do to become such a pariah?

[Diunx]

Isn't he a nintendo fan?