FUCKED UP Relationship thread of BM is a cursed mother fucker.

[BlackMage]

I don't even know where to start with this story.

Umm, so last night me and the girl I've been dating went out and did some drunk bowling at Universal Studios, City Walk. We had a great time doing that and walking around seeing the sights. So wait, before I go on I want to tell you that this girl is a crazy ass driver. On the way to Universal Studios she was weaving in between cars and going pretty fast. Ok that said, after our fun time there, we are pretty horny for each other and she wanted to go back to her place to fuck. I asked her if she was ok to drive and she said yes. I had more than her that night and I was ok, so I believed her. So we get in her car and we're driving back to her place and again she is being a crazy ass driver, and she is going too fast onto the off ramp and she loses control and she gets her car stuck in the loose soil next to the off ramp. So I'm like in total shock at this point.

I call AAA to get her car unstuck and back on the road and we waited there for them to come. Unfortunately, the cops see us while we are waiting and pull over to question us. The cops suspected right away that we were drunk and called it in. So they make me and her sit on the curb while we wait for more cops to come and she looks over to me and says "If you were a real man you would tell them that you were driving." At that point I knew the relationship was over. So as more cops come they separate us to get our stories and I told them she was driving because she totally was. I'm not gonna take the fall and ruin my life for her over this shit. Well, either they believed my story over hers, or she admitted she was driving, so they started giving her the sobriety test and breathalyzer and they made me sit in the passenger side of the tow truck, and left me alone for the rest of the night. So, I guess she was drunk because she didn't pass and they handcuffed her and took her away. Meanwhile, the tow truck dude loaded up her car to take to the impound and he was nice enough to give me a lift back to my car.

So, here I am the next day at home, while she is still in jail. I'm afraid of her calling me now because I'm afraid she is gonna want me to pay half her bill or something. We've only been dating a week so I'm thinking I'll cut her off from my life right the fuck now and not answer her calls or texts, and move on.

[BobFromPikeCreek]

So you didn't grab her pussy?

[Madrun Badrun]

A week?  Move the fuck along.

[Barry Egan]

sorry BM  :'(

[MrAngryFace]

RUN AWAY

[Mupepe]

Wow. If she calls tell her you're done with her and that'll be that.

[lennedsay]

Sorry bubbub

If she calls, I'd say, "Well, I was going to take the fall for you, but after your comment that I should take the fall to prove my manliness, it opened up my eyes to the person you really are." CYA BITCH!

Girls are crazy, bubby boo.

[Mupepe]

Boonies are crazy

[demi]

[BlackMage]

F U demi 

[Phoenix Dark]

So you knew she was a crazy driver, and drunk...and you let her drive? 

[BlackMage]

So you knew she was a crazy driver, and drunk...and you let her drive? 

hey, don't turn this around on me.

[Reb]

So you knew she was a crazy driver, and drunk...and you let her drive? 

You've clearly never been drunk and horny.

[T234]

The entire purpose of this incident happening to you was the cosmos telling you about how much that woman sucked before you became infatuated with her.

[Himu]

The lessons and virtues of online dating; this is his story.

[MrAngryFace]

So you knew she was a crazy driver, and drunk...and you let her drive? 

You've clearly never been drunk and horny.

This

[Akala]

If she was that drunk, and you were on the off-ramp near her house, maybe you guys should have high-tailed it out of there and reported the car stolen.

that actually isn't that bad of an idea haha. poor bn, I  was hoping for you. she will need someone to keep her company while she is on house arrest tho, unless this is not the first time it's happenned.  :'(

[Cormacaroni]

If you bail her out, there will probably be at least one more enthusiastic blowjob in it for you, before the recriminations set in. If the cost of the bail is less than the value of an enthusiastic blowjob to you,  you bail her out. Easy math.

[drew]

had you guys had sex yet or was this going to be your first time

[Mr. Gundam]

Good call for not taking the fall, but why not take a cab instead of letting her drive?

[drew]

i don't know where bm lives but where i live the cabs don't run all the time, and it's not like you can just flag them down, you have to call first

not to mention their car would be parked overnight at some bowling alley parking lot, even if it didn't get messed with it'd still be an issue getting it the next day

[Mr. Gundam]

Still better than getting a DUI and potentially losing your license.

[CajoleJuice]

Maybe next time you'll listen to The Business:

I think that woman is terrible, but I'm just a guy on the internet. 

this

[BlackMage]

had you guys had sex yet or was this going to be your first time

it was going to be our first time.  :'(

I hear ya about the cab thing. I wish I had suggested that.

[BlackMage]

I'm just gonna take this as a life lesson and learn from it. I mean, she could have easily killed me in her car.

[drew]

it was going to be our first time.  :'(

patch things up, if she'll let you, and fuck her.  fuck her 10 times.  by then i'm sure her crazy will give you another reason to dump her.

[Bebpo]

Oh wow.

I'm glad you're safe man.  That's some scary shit to go through.  Just remember that things could have gone much worse and be glad you're alive and fine and the crazy chick is out of your life now.  You definitely did the right thing by not letting her pin it on you and fuck your life over for some pussy grabbing.


Online dating is full of fucking crazies (no offense to the few people her who've actually found someone normal through it).

[Phoenix Dark]

So you knew she was a crazy driver, and drunk...and you let her drive? 

You've clearly never been drunk and horny.

No, I haven't. Nor have I ever gotten into a car with a drunk person behind the wheel. She could have killed you both, or someone else.

[drew]

itt pd fronts as if he wouldn't put himself into a precarious situation if he was about to get some pussy

[MrAngryFace]

I've been drunk a few times- Gallant has never been around- only Goofus

[Phoenix Dark]

itt pd fronts as if he wouldn't put himself into a precarious situation if he was about to get some pussy

I wouldn't let Beyonce drunk drive me to her house to fuck.

[drew]

drunk driving isn't as bad as you would think, it really only gets life threatening when you start to cold sweat and can't see straight, which is when you see people start to swerve.  tired riving is exponentially more dangerous, and not just because of falling asleep at the wheel.

[Mr. Gundam]

Never drove drunk. Never will. It's just a stupid thing to do.

Have a designated driver, walk, take the bus or get a cab. Don't have any of the available alternatives? Guess you're not drinking that night. Not worth the possible consequences.

[MrAngryFace]

Im not doubting the dangerous qualities of driving even while tipsy, lord knows in hind sight i've remarked about mistakes ive made in the past driving home from a bar- but I call any person who PRETENDS that in the same situation they would have achieved the absolute ideal a liar.

[Phoenix Dark]

That's fine with me. I know too many people who've died due to drunk driving to ever consider doing that; last year alone I lost an old friend, who was my brother's god brother and  who was basically my big brother/role model growing up . It can never be justified. You can call a cab, take the bus, or walk around until you're ready to drive, etc.

that's all I have to say, carry on

[MrAngryFace]

BM made a bad decision but I've made much worse in my life.  Some of you guys in this thread are acting like GAF levels of lame right now. 

[MrAngryFace]

That's fine with me. I know too many people who've died due to drunk driving to ever consider doing that; last year alone I lost an old friend, who was my brother's god brother and  who was basically my big brother/role model growing up . It can never be justified. You can call a cab, take the bus, or walk around until you're ready to drive, etc.

that's all I have to say, carry on

Did I say it was a good choice? If anything I am relating to BMs obvious admission that it wasn't a good idea, and understanding why it happened. Getting all soapbox is stupid.

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm not on a soapbox. BM is a friend, we've been talking for years. I felt he made a dangerous decision and started a convo, out of concern for him. Nothing more nothing less. Now can we get back to being cool bros, jeez

[Van Cruncheon]

I'm just gonna take this as a life lesson and learn from it. I mean, she could have easily killed me in her car.

yes. you have just gained one LIFE POINT.

[Van Cruncheon]

itt pd fronts as if he wouldn't put himself into a precarious situation if he was about to get some pussy

I wouldn't let Beyonce drunk drive me to her house to fuck.

i would.

[CajoleJuice]

i definitely believe PD, for many reasons

[Van Cruncheon]

he's the gayest negro since russell simmons

[Cerveza mas fina]

Does this girl look like Beyonce?

I mean I'd do stupid shit for premium pussy, but for some regular pussy I wouldn't go out of my way (literally, this girl once asked me to her place and I said nah let's go to mine and she said no mine and I said goodbye).

[chronovore]

Wow. If she calls tell her you're done with her and that'll be that.

This. Note the use of "if" -- I'd say that her being led away in cuffs is pretty much the most dramatic closure for your relationship you can hope for. Anything else is just a little fanservice cutscene after the credits have rolled.

So you knew she was a crazy driver, and drunk...and you let her drive? 

This, too.

[BlueTsunami]

You'd be surprised how many simps there are out there that would have taken the fall in place of her. If anything you handled that situation nicely, BM.

Chalk this up as a hilarious e-dating story you can tell.

[tiesto]

Never drove drunk. Never will. It's just a stupid thing to do.

Have a designated driver, walk, take the bus or get a cab. Don't have any of the available alternatives? Guess you're not drinking that night. Not worth the possible consequences.

It's OK to drive drunk if you need to hurry up and get to work though...

[MrAngryFace]

Basically just imagine that evening as a lead in to an episode of COPS and if it fits a little too well- bail out

[Mupepe]

I've only had half a dozen beers.  I'm okay to drive.

[demi]

I mean I'd do stupid shit for premium pussy, but for some regular pussy I wouldn't go out of my way (literally, this girl once asked me to her place and I said nah let's go to mine and she said no mine and I said goodbye).

Liar, liar, pants on fire

[Phoenix Dark]

c'mon BM, we need an update.

[BlackMage]

She called me and apologized profusely. She basically said that she was drunk and panicked and came to her senses and admitted to the cops she was the one who drove right away. I accepted her apology and we will remain friends.

[Mupepe]

she still wants that snake in her mouf

[MrAngryFace]

with benefits? ehhhh?

[Phoenix Dark]

Now she's gonna poke holes in your condoms

[Reb]

Get your dick wet boy.

[Bebpo]

Sounds like she thinks you're hot and wants your cock

Also sounds like I'd be waaaaary of what she has in her body

spoiler (click to show/hide)

probably a lot of alchohol

[close]

Honestly I'd cut ties and look elsewhere after this incident.  A girl who likes to drink a bit can be fun a girl who is a CRAZY DRUNK all the time is a liability.

[Groogrux]

BEST THREAD EVER   

[BlackMage]

No I will not have sex with her. My definition of friend is more like.. friendly.. I'll prolly hang out with her as much as I hang out with you guys. All I'm saying is i forgive her and I'm moving on..

[Robo]

Best way to forgive?  Hate fuck.

[BlackMage]

I think I'm gonna stay single for a while. I am moving into a new place this week and I'll have a nice fresh start when I'm ready to do it again. I don't think I'll reopen my okcupid account, though. It's produced nothing but headaches. Time to do things the old fashioned way.