Worst part of vacation?

[MrAngryFace]

Being forced into political discussions with my conservative family. I'm not super pundit man, but their thinking on candidates n tax proposals is painfully simple.

"I like Romney cause he doesn't get flustered."

"it's cause he changes his long term position to fit his immediate need"

*glare*

*awkward*

[Eric P]

my dad has morphed into a right winger over the past several years.  it can make every conversation fraught with danger, or as the internet would say "teachable moments."

[MrAngryFace]

Yeah my mom has turned conservative since the state, who now has no option to create new revenue streams (thanks Tim Eyman) is futzing with existing sources.

[Van Cruncheon]

i troll, troll, troll. it's the only way to win!

[MrAngryFace]

Buddy is the candidate conservatives should want but no one here has heard of him. Thanks FOX News

[MrAngryFace]

i troll, troll, troll. it's the only way to win!

I'd troll but I've still got a few days to go.

[Van Cruncheon]

me: <sarcasm> "man, this country sure has gone to shit ever since they put a BLACK MAN in the WHITE HOUSE am i right?"
him: "you know, son, you're making fun of me, but there's something to that." <blah blah blah bell curve>
neighbors: <horrified>
him: "look, i don't have anything against <black people>, but when i was in 'nam..." <exaggerated story about how DEM DARKIES tried to kill him in nam>
me: NOW WHY WOULD THEY EVER WANT TO DO THAT TO YOU, DAD

[Van Cruncheon]

just blow 'em off by picking candidates too conserva-crazy for even them. "i dunno, i like michele bachmann and all, but the candidate for me is pat buchanan if he'd throw his hat in -- or hell, maybe david duke. i like how he thinks outside the box when it comes to problems in this country -- he'll really clean our sick culture up." then cross your arms and glare. you've just out-conservativ'd them.

[MrAngryFace]

me: <sarcasm> "man, this country sure has gone to shit ever since they put a BLACK MAN in the WHITE HOUSE am i right?"
him: "you know, son, you're making fun of me, but there's something to that." <blah blah blah bell curve>
neighbors: <horrified>
him: "look, i don't have anything against <black people>, but when i was in 'nam..." <exaggerated story about how DEM DARKIES tried to kill him in nam>
me: NOW WHY WOULD THEY EVER WANT TO DO THAT TO YOU, DAD

Lol at "neighbors" cameo

[drew]

"I like Romney cause he doesn't get flustered."

"it's cause he changes his long term position to fit his immediate need"

so...basically they're saying that this guy would be the perfect President

[MrAngryFace]

[Phoenix Dark]

Prole is right, the best way is to outflank them on the right

"blah blah I like Romney"
"he's a Mormon who used to be pro choice."
"yea but he's a businessman and I like that"
"did you know Michelle Bachmann has 23 children? being a mom is like running a business"

[chronovore]

I remember a Thanksgiving dinner at my grandparents house, with my dad and his two younger brothers' entire families. It was a full house.

Dad's youngest brother went off on how the National Endowment for the Arts needed to be more tightly controlled, and Senator Jesse Helms was just the man to do it. A southern republican and a deeply religious man, he would have no tolerance for heathen imagery, such as the then-hot-topic pictures of Robert Mapplethorpe.

As the table's resident artist, and as the leftmost-leaning attendee, I foolishly stepped up to debate. As long as there is an NEA, the review committee should probably be staffed by people who actually know something about art.

So then, while everyone's got their mouth full of yams, stuffing, and gravy, my uncle launched into a tirade about Mapplethorpe's photo of an exposed male ass, with a bullwhip stuffed up the guy's sphincter.

Dinner table! Thanksgiving dinner table! Grandparents!

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Mr. Gundam]

Aside from my sister's husband (who never brings up politics and is the nicest guy ever) and two cousins (who are nutty tin hatter libertarians), all of my relatives are crazy liberals who drank the Blue Kool-Aid years ago.

[Human Snorenado]

My dad is kind of weird.  He's at a point where he doesn't like the idea of his tax dollars going to OMG FUCKING LAZY PEOPLE but at the same time he's a big supporter of legal/illegal Hispanic immigrants of any sort and won't vote Republican any more because he sees them as racist pricks.  So, he basically either votes Libertarian or just bitches about it and doesn't vote. 

[Phoenix Dark]

Man I wish I was white, these stories sound fun. Politics wise if everyone isn't talking about how glad they are Obama saved their job (lots of autoworkers on my mom's side of the family), the conversation revolves around conspiracy theories. Examples:

grandma: I don't drink soda anymore, I try to just drink water
mom: that's a good idea, mom
uncle: I only drink bottled water, that fluoride cotdamn, yall just don't know..
dad: smh

or, circa Winter 2007

grandma: i hope Barrack watch hisself, Clintons don't play around
aunt: you hear they try to send women to his hotels, trying to trap him?
grandma: lord, please protect that boy. 
uncle: he ain't gonna win anyway. But I gotta say, thank god he married a strong black woman
grandma: amen. when I saw him I thought "his wife is gonna be white, no doubt"

[Great Rumbler]

or, circa Winter 2007

grandma: i hope Barrack watch hisself, Clintons don't play around
aunt: you hear they try to send women to his hotels, trying to trap him?
grandma: lord, please protect that boy. 
uncle: he ain't gonna win anyway. But I gotta say, thank god he married a strong black woman
grandma: amen. when I saw him I thought "his wife is gonna be white, no doubt"

[lennedsay]

 

As a white suburbanite, I've never really thought about what race people I know would end up marrying, either because I never cared or because everyone I know are white, so I very racistly assumed they'd end up with a whitey. One of our friends married a black girl, and when her family found out, they said, "Yea, we always knew she'd go and marry a white guy." She doesn't particularly act whitewashed, so I just thought it was interesting they thought that.

Then they fed us BBQ raccoon the night before the wedding. Tasted like greasy roast beef.

[Brehvolution]

My father in law is the best guy in the world, but since 2008 he let fox news fill his mind so full of fuck. There isn't a conversation with him that at some point he'll blame it on the communists in Washington.
Just yesterday, he told me that when the dems swooped in in 2006, they changed the tax code so it was OK for the IRS to lie.
Wasn't the last person to change any tax code Bush?

[Mandark]

These threads always make me feel lucky to come from Takoma Park hippies on one side and effete Chevy Chase Jews on the other.

Whenever gay marriage or a sex scandal is in the news, my grandma shakes her head and says "People care too much about private parts."

[fomalhaut]

conversations with my family about politics are the worst, because with Christian Cons it almost always ends up with simply just insults. 

but it's usually; LIBERALS, COMMUNISTS, FASCISTS, LIBEROFASCISTS, MEXIFASCISTS, ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WITH LIBERAL KIDS, LIBRULS, MUSLIMOCUMMUNISTOFASCISTS

in call caps because that's how i transcribe their bullshit rants.



*eating breakfast*
Grandmother *whips out Iphone and starts reading a list called...* : ha! 42 things that makes Muslims the absolute worst people
me *walk up and away*

i don't even argue anymore.


*eating breakfast*
Grandfather: Unions are the worst thing to happen to the country since public schools!

*watching t.v. and commercial that shows a Muslim town of women and children shows up*
Stepfather: Kill em all! kill those roaches!



baaaaaa.  I don't hold them up to very high intellectual standards whatsoever.

[fomalhaut]

lol, i just remembered this one;  I had a white board in my room that i wrote all sorts of stuff on, reminders, notes, and in this case i had the Arabic alphabet on their because i was drilling it the night before.

Well my mother comes in too see my off as i'm leaving for the airport and gasps, saying "ARE YOU LEARNING TERRORIST??? THIS IS WHAT TERRORISTS KNOW"

word.for.word.

 

[Mupepe]

My mom used to be ultra conservative.  I remember when I was younger she'd go on tirades about gays getting married and taxes and how horrible Clinton was.

But now my mom is hippie as fuck and I love her for it.  She protests regularly for anything from no kill animal shelters to gay rights and Occupy Houston.  She listens to NPR every morning.  She got on organic foods a few years back.  She is still a registered Republican because she believes in small government but she's got brains enough for herself to see the modern Republican party is anything but conservative.  

Prole's dad sounds exactly how my dad used to sound.  Right down to the "well back in 'Nam (continues to tell a story that really has nothing to do with the subject)". 

I always wanted to pull a Big Lebowski and tell him "Face it, Dad.  there's no connection with Vietnam"

[MrAngryFace]

My dad created six Indian Miis and named them Apu1 thru Apu6

[chronovore]

These threads always make me feel lucky to come from Takoma Park hippies on one side and effete Chevy Chase Jews on the other.

Whenever gay marriage or a sex scandal is in the news, my grandma shakes her head and says "People care too much about private parts."

That's great! That's the attitude we all should have. It's too bad that marriage as a legal contract is tied into so many societal benefits.

[Dickie Dee]

These threads always make me feel lucky to come from Takoma Park hippies on one side and effete Chevy Chase Jews on the other.

Whenever gay marriage or a sex scandal is in the news, my grandma shakes her head and says "People care too much about private parts."

Yup, I'm from old school liberal/union stock.  I think there is one conservative on my family's side, and maybe 3 on my wife's (gigantic) side.  My great uncle was even called before HUAC for his organizing back in the day.

That'd be a pic worth framing and putting on your mantle.

[Bebpo]

Politics never come up at extended family gatherings, for which I am thankful.  Close family are down to earth liberal democrat hippies.  Which I'm ok with since I'm fairly liberal.

[Bebpo]

Also, having no family in red states helps.

[Mupepe]

My dad created six Indian Miis and named them Apu1 thru Apu6

[Van Cruncheon]

officially, though, the worst part of vacation is when grandma makes you eat her out.

[Human Snorenado]

officially, though, the worst part of vacation is when grandma makes you eat her out.

Prole's been watching The Aristocrats again, I see.