He's been on a lot of different meds. He's on a bunch in that center right now. Like I said, some of it is the synapses misfiring in his brain, and some of it is his willingness to use that as an excuse/threat for everything else he does. Apparently one of the medications worked okay, but turned him into something of a lobotomy case, which she doesn't want. And part of it was convincing everyone that he was headed in a bad direction. She's been to therapists who laid the blame for everything at her feet, coddled and treated him "special," etc. One thing she told me that I found frankly astonishing is that they would talk with her about how to handle him RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF HIM. That's like a magician practicing his act in front of the audience before the show starts, and of course he learned how every trick worked. Like I said, he's very, very smart, picks up on everything, and knows exactly how to work any bit of knowledge to his advantage.
I don't know how it is in the rest of the country, but here you can't put anyone in a treatment center until they turn 12. So she tried everything in that last year that she could think of to keep from doing that, until that shoulder block episode. I never offered an opinion on what I saw, it wasn't my place to do that, but I was the only one who told her she made a good call right after she did it. Now EVERYONE, friends and family, are all coming out of the woodwork to offer up opinions and "support" years after the fact.
I'm a fairly accepting guy. Forgive and forget, don't hold grudges, etc. I have, however, made it clear that he gets ONE chance with me. He's had thirteen years of chances with everyone else. I've lived in an abusive household before, not gonna do it again. I'm not gonna walk on eggshells. I can deal with the autistic kid, he's good-natured and really easy to please, he's no problem at all. I can deal with smartass talk from the 13 year old, too (please, he's thirteen and has no life experience, I could have him in tears within minutes). And if he ever comes at me I can deal with that, too, considering I'm in pretty decent shape for 42 and his physical activities mainly consist of staring at a television while sucking soda straight out of a 2 liter bottle. I'm not worried about me, but I won't let him hurt anyone in that house ever again. I've told her that if his Dad reneges on wanting to take him in (he will, he's got some woman he's trying to bring over here next year from Thailand or wherever that he wants to marry, and the first time she tries discipline and that tasmanian devil commences snatching handfuls of hair out of her scalp I'd imagine she will issue an ultimatum) that he's welcome until he starts pulling the shit again. I have also made it clear that if I ever come home and find her lying at the bottom of the stairs or on the floor and he's standing there with that self-satisfied look on his face (she's only 5'2" - he already has a couple of inches and 15 pounds on her), I will treat him as if I'd walked in on a grown man, and all that implies. Now that he has established a public history of aggression and violence (apparently he's left marks on the orderlies in that place, and they record everything he does, they're even required to call her as soon as anything happens) I doubt I would even get into much trouble over it.
So she knows. She knows she can't handle him full time, too. She has her own physical issues to deal with, and she wants to go back to school and finish up there. I think this softening attitude is mainly because when someone (even a little asshole rageaholic) isn't around for a while memories of bad experiences tend to fade and good ones spring to the forefront. There'll be a grace period, to be sure. I give it a couple of months. Then he'll ease back into his old role, having a meltdown in the van and jumping out into traffic, or trying to pick up a Rock Band guitar to smash his sister's head in, or calling his mom a cocksucker and throwing drink in her face, or shoving her down because he doesn't want to go to bed (all of which he's done before). Then he'll go back to the center. Then, in 6-18 months (the longest they can keep someone without a re-admittance process), he'll get out again. Then he'll do something else, and go back, etc. Until he turns 16, when he suddenly stops being the poor cute little guy everyone needs to bend over backwards for, and starts being a problem for the law. It's up to him, really. I'll give him a chance, but if he chooses not to take it I've got nothing for him and won't hesitate to put him down on his ass should the need arise. Everyone else can dance around all they want and adjust their lives according to his whims, but I've always known that bullies big or small only really ever respond to one thing.
