How much do you love Jesus (Also: TBS you are going to hell, sinner.)

[Vizzys]

I was reading about the 7 deadly sins on wikipedia, as it interests me (I'm not religious)
and anyway at the bottom of the page it links to another article about incubi, which are demons who sleep with women to impregnate them with demons.

Now apparently, there is a variation on this belief and that is Jesus was to sleep with you, or Jesus as a incubus:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_Jesus

I find this crazy.

ALSO: according to this page TBS http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_deadly_sins you will be going to hell for your vanity.
It is the ultimate sin:

Pride/Hubris (Latin, superbia)
Main articles: Pride (vanity, narcissism), Hubris

In almost every list Pride is considered the original or most serious sin, and the ultimate source of all other sins. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive to others, failing to give credit due to others, or excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbour". In Jacob Bidermann's medieval miracle play, Cenodoxus, Pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation of the famed Doctor of Paris, Cenodoxus. Pride was what sparked the fall of Lucifer from Heaven, and his subsequent transformation into Satan. Vanity and Narcissism are good examples of these sins, though both imply a more empty feeling of Pride, with little to back it up. In the Divine Comedy, the penitent were forced to walk with their heads bowed while they were whipped in order to induce feelings of humility.

You still have time for jesus in your life, pray to god and you may be forgiven.

[TVC15]

WTF

[Vizzys]

Jesus loves the ladys.

[Mupepe]

They are told to say "love words," or talk dirty, to Jesus as they are having sex. Karen Zerby has published a list of sexually explicit expressions that her followers could use when making love to Jesus.

I would love to scream at the top of my lungs "JESUS!  CUM INSIDE OF ME!" while shooting my load all over my tummy.....


.......


*leaves forum*

[TVC15]

They are told to say "love words," or talk dirty, to Jesus as they are having sex. Karen Zerby has published a list of sexually explicit expressions that her followers could use when making love to Jesus.

I would love to scream at the top of my lungs "JESUS!  CUM INSIDE OF ME!" while shooting my load all over my tummy.....


.......


*leaves forum*

"JESUS, EAT OUT MY ASSHOLE!!!!"

[TVC15]

OMG, I found a song on the xfamily wiki:

http://media.xfamily.org/audio/Loving_Jesus/04/06%20Let%27s%20Make%20Love.mp3

[TVC15]

And a list of acceptable Love Words for Jesus, from a The Family book:

    *  I'm all naked for You, Jesus, and desperate for Your love! Come to me.
    * I want to enjoy You, Jesus, to look at You, to taste You, to feel You, to fuck You!
    * I've got to have You in my arms. I've got to feel Your naked body pressed to mine.
    * I'm getting so hot for You! I've got to have Your lips on mine!
    * You turn me on!
    * Your touch is so tender, it makes me feel so loved, so secure, so warm, so wanted.
    * You're beautiful, Jesus, and so sexy--sexier than I ever dreamed--so handsome, so naked and so hard!
    * You draw me near, and my heart skips a beat. I tremble under Your touch.
    * Your touch melts me. It moves me, stimulates me, sends me.
    * Touch me through the hands that You made. Possess me!
    * I'm really getting horny for You, Jesus.
    * I want to feel all Your love and all Your passion!
    * Jesus, show me what I can do to You to make You feel good.
    * I want to excite You and give You pleasure and satisfy You, as You excite and please and satisfy me.
    * Jesus, I'll do anything for You. I'll do anything to give You pleasure. Let me satisfy You. Teach me what You like best.
    * I want to show You how hot and horny and passionate I am for You!
    * I want to enjoy You. I take pleasure in caressing You, kissing You, fondling You.
    * I want to know You completely--every inch of You.
    * I want to kiss You everywhere.
    * I want to suck Your penis. I want to suck Your seeds!
    * I'm wild about You! I'm crazy about Your penis!
    * My pussy is excited for You, Jesus!
    * I'm juicy for You.
    * I'm prepared, Jesus. I'm wet. I'm wanting You.
    * I'm so excited and I'm so horny for You, Jesus!
    * I want to feel the ecstasies of Your love!
    * You've got to fuck me now!
    * Yes, yes, I want more! I want more than words. I want more than spiritual communications! I want to feel it, I want to know it, in my heart and in my body and in my spirit.
    * I can't wait any longer!--I'm overcome with desire for You, for Your penis, for Your seeds.
    * I can't wait. I've got to have You, Jesus! Your love excites me! I've got to have You inside me!
    * I crave You, Jesus. I'm hot for You! My legs are spread to receive Your penis! Enter into me! Give me Your seeds.
    * I'm desperate for Your big, hard penis! I crave it, because I want Your seeds!
    * I need Your penis! I need to feel You explode inside me, giving me Your seeds!
    * I receive Your love, Lord, with open arms and open legs and a receptive heart.
    * I'm Yours. I give myself to You in complete surrender, for Your pleasure. Do whatever You want with me.
    * Come into me, Jesus. Fuck me. Make me go, Jesus!
    * Fuck me! Take me!
    * Hurry, Jesus! I need You now.
    * Fuck me long and hard and deep. I want to feel You in the very heart of me. Longer, harder, deeper!
    * I can't get enough of You. I have to have all of You!
    * Come, Jesus! Oh please, come!
    * I can't do without Your seeds. Please give them to me!
    * Yes, yes! Fuck me, fuck me! Don't stop! Don't stop! I want You! I need You! Give me Your seeds!
    * Fill me with Your seeds. Flood me with Your seeds. Explode in me!
    * Give me more, more, more. Don't stop until I have every drop of Your love, every one of Your seeds.
    * It feels so good to have You inside me, Jesus! I've never known such pleasure, such ecstasy.
    * Jesus, I'm lost in Your love. With every thrust of Your penis You take me higher and higher.
    * Don't stop! Don't ever stop fucking me! Let this thrill, this ecstasy, go on and on and on and on forever!
    * Your penis drives me wild. I'm out of control, but don't stop!
    * I went for You.
    * Oh my Darling, my Darling, how I love to fuck You! How I love to be fucked by You!
    * I've never known such joy and satisfaction as this!
    * Jesus, You're the best! No other love can compare.
    * Thank You for wanting me, for desiring me, for exciting me. Thank You for wanting to fuck me and become one with me and give me Your seeds.
    * Thank You for giving Yourself to me so freely, so completely. Thank You for letting me explore Your naked body in all its majesty--to hold You, to kiss You, to suck You, to fuck You.
    * You're so wonderful!


Man, why wasn't I born into an interesting religion like this.

[Mupepe]

Holy fucking shit.  I read all of those and had a rock hard erection at the end.  Maybe there's something to this sect. 


I wonder if Jesus does anal.  lolz

[brawndolicious]

That proves without a doubt that Jesus was black, TBS' cheeks are gonna instantly spread open.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

That's kind of hot.