I can't believe you bothered to type that up.
Andrex, I still want you to explain the awesome plot of these games. In detail. kthx.
So like there's this kid who has a douchebag friend and his grampa give you both these devices that already know everything about these Pokemon you're supposed to capture and train yet you're still expected to capture all of them for some reason. So your mom kicks you out and you have to go become the strongest ever by beating eight losers and then five other stronger losers. However you're constantly getting sidetracked by the Pokemon mafia but you thwart them over and over like it ain't no thing but then it's revealed the boss of the mafia is actually the last of those eight losers OMG. So you kick his ass and he goes emo not to be seen again except for when you travel back in time from three years from now to three years to the past which is actually the present, where it is ALSO revealed that the mafia boss had a douchebag son who's an even BIGGER douchebag than your childhood friend but is also a total tsundere, so uguu and all that. Anyways, you go and beat four of those stronger losers when OMG it's revealed your douchebag friend already beat the strongest one so now HE'S the strongest, but you end up beating him anyways and then his grampa shows up and is all "SON, I AM DISAPPOINT" before leading you to the hall of champions of whatever. Douchebag guy goes and cries in the mafia boss's house before going "hey wait, I can be the eight loser since he's gone now!" Meanwhile you go train on a mountain cause you're a pimp.
At the same time all this is happening, two idiot jackoffs with way too much time on their hand are trying to FLOOD DA WORLD or MAKE VOLCANOS EXPLODE or something idiotic. But they're thwarted or something, I dunno, I never finished Sapphire.
THREE YEARS GO BY and now you're this new kid who's like the same age as the kid you were from three years ago and you're also given this device to try and insentivize you to collect all the Pokemans but there are like 100 new ones now so you're like WTF was Oak smoking when he missed all these ones the first time around? Anyways this other professor who likes to watch Pokemon fuck and make eggs tries to give you your start Pokemon but then that tsundere douchebag I was talking about earlier shows up and is all like "FUCK THE POLICE" before stealing one, and the prof and you shit their pants since an actual CRIME has been committed in Pokeland and there are no police well maybe one or two roaming around but there's no actual police stations or anything so you can't call no one. Anyways you beat these eight new losers, while the remains of the poke-mafia are all like "Come back to us mafia boss man we miss you!! T_T" But you bitchslap some sense in them and they're like "oh yeah lol, guess this was useless." Then the tsundere stays true to his character and has a change of heart and tries to give back his Pokemon but the prof's like "I don't want that tainted shit, damaged goods gtfo." So he keeps it and skips off happily into the sunset a changed man. Then you beat the five strongest losers who are remarkably similar to the five strongest losers from three years ago and then OMG the entire continent from three years ago opens up so you the character is like, "cool new losers to fight" so you fight them and beat their washed up asses, even the douchebag friend from three years ago. After beating the five losers AGAIN for some reason, you get to go onto this mountain where OMG the you from three years ago is there and he's like super strong and he wrecks most of your team but then you beat him and he's all like "..." and disappears, probably to go have tea with the mafia boss or something.
At the same time all that is happening, this other kid who is also you is going through the same rigamoroll but instead of the mafia you have to fight this new age cult who's trying to destroy the universe. And you're all "this is pretty hardcore dude" and the boss of the cult is like "I know, crazy ain't it?" Then you get sucked into this MC Escher world and the dude is like "YOU ARE MY SOULMATE CRAZY DEMON GHOST BUG THING!" so you leave him there before getting to the fifth strong loser of the land, this crazy hot chick. The ending is inconclusive but pretty sure you hit that. Oh and all throughout the game is this ineffectual detective guy who's actually pretty cool but kinda useless.
MAN MOONS LATER in a region FAR FAR AWAY, another new kid gets his Pokiginity cherry popped by this bangin' new female professor and he's all like "Imma smang it girl" but then she kicks him out so he's like fuck it, I'll beat this region's eight losers to prove my manliness. As he's doing it this guy with green hair shows up and the Killers start playing
this song and he's like POKEMON BATTLES ARE BAD then proceeds to have a Pokemon battle with you several times. Meanwhile your two childhood friends are meeting up with you now and then, being totally self involved and clueless. WHAT AM I IF I'M NOT THE STRONGEST? dude and I'M DUMB AND USELESS BUT I WANT TO BE ON MY OWN girl. Then you meet this guy who looks like a lion and he's like "My Pokemon wife died T_T" and you're like "OK whatever." Then the green haired dude awaken's this super strong Pokemon and is going to force people not to capture Pokemon by like burning them to death or something (or shocking them to death if you chose the wrong version.) Anyways the green haired dude's dad is all like "MWAHAHA my evil plan of turning my son into a total sperger worked!" and green haired dude is like "Metal Gear launches nukes? It can't be....!" So you kick the dad's ass with your own super strong Pokemon and he's arrested or something and his son is like "I'm going to go learn not to be such a sperger" and flies off with the super strong Pokemon to some faraway land. Then the detective dude from a while ago shows up and says the green haired dude has been spotted somewhere or something.
THE END until BW2 which will continue the story of GREEN HAIRED DUDE