Author Topic: Thin walls and Big people having monkey sex... (Read 2140 times)

Shaka Khan · « **on:** March 12, 2012, 02:07:26 AM »

So this is becoming a sort of a problem: The couple living above my apartment are have frequent seismic sex 3-5 times a week usually between 2-5am. They're smashing things, and are very, very loud. At first I was like "awwww, fat people not succumbing to their disabilities and having some passionate fun" but 8 weeks later, not to mention a few sleepless nights before finals and midterms, and it's starting to piss me off. Sometimes I'd intentionally turn on the AC and leave the TV on just drown out the voice.

So what's usually the best course of action? The guy is really friendly and nice, so it'd be awful to snitch to the leasing office (plus a bro would never do that to the another bro). On the other hand, talking to him directly sounds stupid, and passing a note is even stupider.

So what to do?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #1 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:10:43 AM »

Leave an anonymous letter?

Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich · « **Reply #2 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:15:20 AM »

sic demi on 'em

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #3 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:15:53 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 12, 2012, 02:10:43 AM

Leave an anonymous letter?

I'm on the ground floor, and the building is small and laid out in such a way that the only possible party being affected by this is me. So anonymity is not-applicable.

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #4 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:20:40 AM »

ask to join in

Himu · « **Reply #5 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:37:28 AM »

This is a part of the college experience. Shut the fuck, walk out the apartment/dorm, and just chill.

Momo · « **Reply #6 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:39:29 AM »

Buy some skull candy and listen to Battle Beast when they do their dance

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #7 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:40:08 AM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on March 12, 2012, 02:37:28 AM

This is a part of the college experience. Shut the fuck, walk out the apartment/dorm, and just chill.

If I was living on campus, I'd shut up. But I'm not, it's a nice place in a nice neighborhood, and I'm paying good money so I expect a little more peaceful environment.

Himu · « **Reply #8 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:41:46 AM »

Oh, it's a regular apartment? Bang on their walls and tell them to shut the fuck up.

MCD · « **Reply #9 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:47:47 AM »

Fap to it.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #10 on:** March 12, 2012, 02:49:08 AM »

I could if the woman would shut up. She utters things that would make Sasha Grey blush.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #11 on:** March 12, 2012, 03:23:28 AM »

Record it and play it back loud during the daytime with the windows open

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #12 on:** March 12, 2012, 03:30:11 AM »

Quote from: Shaka Khan on March 12, 2012, 02:15:53 AM

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on March 12, 2012, 02:10:43 AM
Leave an anonymous letter?

I'm on the ground floor, and the building is small and laid out in such a way that the only possible party being affected by this is me. So anonymity is not-applicable.

Are there any families with children in the building? Technically if the letter mentioned that you had children and didn't want them hearing such noises, they would never suspect you.

Robo · « **Reply #13 on:** March 12, 2012, 03:44:49 AM »

Quote from: Shaka Khan on March 12, 2012, 02:07:26 AM

On the other hand, talking to him directly sounds stupid, and passing a note is even stupider.

No, and no. Incorporate however many fist bumps you think is necessary to make it less weird, but if the guy is disturbing you, you need to say something.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #14 on:** March 12, 2012, 03:49:14 AM »

yea but if you directly say it, he may be like "oh so your listening to me and my wife have sex? fucking pervert!?!?!"

I'm telling you bro, use a letter and pretend to be a concerned parent.

AdmiralViscen · « **Reply #15 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:05:46 AM »

Leave a letter saying that all the noise is giving you a raging boner nd you just have to join in

brob · « **Reply #16 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:07:00 AM »

go confront the dude. if he gets all aggro on you, start shouting angry sounding arabic things and maybe consult smoothgroove for what to to next idk

demi · « **Reply #17 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:16:26 AM »

I'd jack off to it and consider myself blessed to have found such a great apartment. Dont be a prude.

I've only once heard people fucking and it was in the apartment next door. They just left the window open and you could hear the bitch moaning, she was enjoying that dick. Almost jerked off right outside cause it was night time.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #18 on:** March 12, 2012, 09:36:47 AM »

Record it and upload it to Youtube or WSHH, which ever seems more appropriate for someone of their personage.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #19 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:47:23 AM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on March 12, 2012, 03:23:28 AM

Record it and play it back loud during the daytime with the windows open

this is clearly the best option

seriously tho, talking to him is the only way to go. going behind his back is shitty and wont accomplish shit except for increasing the tension between you two. asking if they could keep it down or fuck in a different room/at a different time is reasonable and if you go about it in the right way he probably won't get pissed at you.

Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich · « **Reply #20 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:55:54 AM »

probably.

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #21 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:00:49 AM »

Shaka. You're quite a skinny guy right? It's pretty obvious that they know you can hear them having wobbly sex, that is a huge turn on for them both, and excites them that you probably feel a powerful compulsion in your tight knickers to bust one out when they start doing the grind.

Accept your destiny as a fat fluffer and you will be fine.

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #22 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:01:27 AM »

So many 'thems'.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #23 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:06:31 AM »

Just go knock on their door; here's some helpful tips of stuff to say:

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #24 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:33:13 AM »

And that's why I'm glad I don't live in the USA.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #25 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:43:48 AM »

Quote from: Martin Raperman on March 12, 2012, 11:33:13 AM

And that's why I'm glad I don't live in the USA.

That was Australia.

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #26 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:54:40 AM »

Tomayto tomato.

chronovore · « **Reply #27 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:18:53 PM »

The last place I lived in the USA was an apartment with thin walls. The next door neighbor was a single mom, hot as all get-out. She left her clothes in the shared coin laundry dryer for days on end, so sometimes when removing her stuff, I noticed a preponderance of thong underwear. Jesus.

Anyway, the floor plan had her bedroom right next to our kitchen. Sometimes we could hear her and her boyfriend going at it. There are worse things than knowing the MILF-next-door is getting some.

And I'm now VERY happy that it was only audible in our kitchen. That middle of the night stuff would have pissed me off, no matter what.

Bebpo · « **Reply #28 on:** March 12, 2012, 01:43:50 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on March 12, 2012, 03:23:28 AM

Record it and play it back loud during the daytime with the windows open

Best option, though if the girl is the only one making phrases, neighbor might think you are

his girlfriend/wife and then he comes in with a shotgun and kills you.

OptimoPeach · « **Reply #29 on:** March 12, 2012, 07:08:24 PM »

I hear this at least once a week but the people upstairs are healthy and attractive, so no complaints here other than it occasionally leaving me feeling like some voyeuristic perv. Last night it sounded like they were doing it HARD and I was all hot and bothered until I realized I had left my window cracked and what I was actually hearing was the combination of a single blind flapping in the breeze and someone's cat crying from a distance

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #30 on:** March 12, 2012, 07:25:49 PM »

Who gives a shit?

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #31 on:** March 12, 2012, 08:22:05 PM »

Quote from: OptimoPeach on March 12, 2012, 07:08:24 PM

I hear this at least once a week but the people upstairs are healthy and attractive, so no complaints here other than it occasionally leaving me feeling like some voyeuristic perv. Last night it sounded like they were doing it HARD and I was all hot and bothered until I realized I had left my window cracked and what I was actually hearing was the combination of a single blind flapping in the breeze and someone's cat crying from a distance

So did you fap or not?

demi · « **Reply #32 on:** March 12, 2012, 08:29:01 PM »

Joe, please can we roleplay that youtube. I want you to tower over me and call me a weak dog and a cunt.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #33 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:19:52 PM »

Yeah, I'm gonna talk to him the next time I see him. I haven't decided though whether to fist bump, wink, say "niiiice, but for realz, keep it down" or just mildly complain about the noises generally, and nicely ask to take it down a few notches.

I'm only worried about him secretly taking issue with it, and being quick in the future to complain about any noise coming from my place. Whether it's people, TV, loud farts, or whatever. Depending on what type of person he is (petty or not), I might be signing out of a tolerance agreement here.

There is one other solution though: finding a way to break the couple up. That doesn't sound selfish in the slightest, actually it sounds like good TV.

Bebpo · « **Reply #34 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:22:22 PM »

Quote from: Shaka Khan on March 12, 2012, 10:19:52 PM

There is one other solution though: finding a way to break the couple up. That doesn't sound selfish in the slightest, actually it sounds like good TV.

It's only good tv if you steal the girl for yourself

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #35 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:28:18 PM »

Like, kidnap her?

Bebpo · « **Reply #36 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:36:06 PM »

I guess that is one way to approach winning her heart over

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #37 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:42:36 PM »

Seriously, there is no good end to this situation.

I briefly had a room in a house with another couple. The morning after the first night my girlfriend stayed over, they started joking about it over breakfast. We had tried to be quiet obviously but fuck it, sex is fun. We moved out soon after. It's basically untenable.

Bildi · « **Reply #38 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:43:49 PM »

I know the feeling, being a grumpy and intolerant bastard I'm leaving the disgusting cess pool of suburban living and moving to the middle of a 160 acre field.

But I'd talk to him.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #39 on:** March 12, 2012, 10:57:28 PM »

Quote from: Cormacaroni on March 12, 2012, 10:42:36 PM

We had tried to be quiet obviously but fuck it, sex is fun.

That's what sucks about it. At the end of the day, they're not doing anything out of the ordinary, like throwing parties and thrashing furniture at at 5 am. It's just natural, albeit loud, sex. Something every normal (i.e. thin) couple has signed up for. I mean what I'm trying to do here is basically ask them to keep me and my convenience in mind every time they're horned up and ready to go. In the privacy of their own place, which they're paying for as well.

I'm a monster.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #40 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:07:17 PM »

'by tried to be quiet' i mean, we kept our voices down and didn't go tipping over the furniture etc. I think that's the most you can ask of a couple, really. You can't have any kind of fun without a bit of room-shaking or headboard-tapping. Yeah, even if you have the TV on in the other room, it might still be audible but I think most people would just grin and bear it and not try to embarrass the offending parties.

But OTOH if people start screaming obscenities at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night, I'd say all bets are off.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #41 on:** March 12, 2012, 11:14:38 PM »

Yeah, I'm not actually backing down

But I will have a word with the guy, see if they can figure something to do about it.

The place can be so unusually loud that I'm starting to suspect it's a porn studio.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #42 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:01:43 AM »

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #43 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:05:07 AM »

I'm sleeping in the living room tonight.

chronovore · « **Reply #44 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:12:17 AM »

Can you sleep with headphones on?

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #45 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:19:11 AM »

Quote from: chronovore on March 13, 2012, 02:12:17 AM

Can you sleep with headphones on?

No.

I was going to buy earplugs earlier today, but I was scared of not waking up to the alarm.

Cormacaroni · « **Reply #46 on:** March 13, 2012, 02:30:54 AM »

A simple solution: Throw out your alarm and ask your neighbors to wait until you normally get up before having sex

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #47 on:** March 13, 2012, 07:11:49 AM »

STFU Awesome-O, nobody likes a smartass.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #48 on:** March 13, 2012, 09:26:21 AM »

Quote from: AWESOM-O on March 13, 2012, 04:30:22 AM

3-5x a week is frequent?

It's preferred.

News:

Author Topic: Thin walls and Big people having monkey sex... (Read 2140 times)