Author Topic: Don't tear your anal sphincter  (Read 4254 times)

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Bebpo

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Don't tear your anal sphincter
« on: April 03, 2012, 04:04:19 PM »
It hurts like fucking hell.

Your anal sphincter muscle is connected to everything you do in life.  Cough, laugh, fuck, sit, sleep, stand, walk.  If you tear the muscle there is no way to be at peace. 

I'm prone to get internal cuts and tears because of my Crohn's disease, but this is the first time I've ever torn an internal muscle.  Had that stupid cold that's been going around the country, it turned into a tonsil infection because my immune system sucks, went to a walk in clinic and they gave me the worlds strongest 10 day anti-biotic, of course it killed my digistive track so I was hitting the can 4-6 times a day for 10 days+ and in the process tore a huge gash in my anal sphincter muscle.

Now I can't do anything except lay at a weird sideways angle in bed with occasional standing all day because I need to not put pressure on the muscle so it can try to heal.  Also not eating because #2's tear it back up to pain level 10 for a dozen hours, so my stomach hates me.  Been doing this for 2 days now.  Can't even use my computer, typing from my phone while sideways in bed.

Anyhow, it's ok to tear a lot of things, but becareful not to tear your anal sphincter because it's the worst thing ever.

demi

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2012, 04:05:36 PM »
:teehee
fat

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2012, 04:07:42 PM »
:(

Do your Anime body pillows help?

Reb

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Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2012, 04:12:18 PM »
This is too painful to make fun of, hang in there!
brb

Powerslave

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2012, 05:08:44 PM »
thanks for warning me, I was about to do this today

Phoenix Dark

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2012, 05:09:51 PM »
damn, hang in there buddy

I had some hemorrhoid problems down there recently and thought the pain was bad, but it was probably a needle poke compared to what you have
010

Dickie Dee

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2012, 06:18:19 PM »
Came in to make fun, left with  :'( Get better bro

Had a bad pilonidal cyst a couple years back that ruined my life for a month and a bit, not the same but people underestimate the ass region and it's importance,
___

Huff

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2012, 06:31:15 PM »
Not sure if your on pain meds or if you can take them, but opiates often have the side affect of constipation, which may be a win-win for you

Hope you heal quick!
dur

MCD

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2012, 08:14:03 PM »
Bebpo-san :(

I won't make fun of your animu taste again.

Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2012, 08:52:47 PM »
Tell the GF to take it easy with the strap-on, man!!

Now that the good-natured ribbing is out the way, take care of yourself and feel better soon.
野球

Bildi

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2012, 11:40:02 PM »
Eep!  That doesn't sound good Bebpo. :(

Is "anal sphincter" like saying "penis dick"?  That is, can sphincter mean anything other than butthole?  I could look it up but then I'd have nothing to ponder.

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2012, 11:44:17 PM »
Thanks guys!  Feeling better after laying around all day in bed.  Hopefully tomorrow I can sit down on a chair instead of standing and typing like I am doing right now.

Got some medicine to put on the wound that is likely will help it heal.  It's like anal sex but in medicine form.  Was supposed to have it yesterday but medicine for the butt muscles is not regularly stocked at your local pharmacy and they had to special order it. 

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2012, 11:52:14 PM »
owowowowowowowowowowow
get better
QED

Bildi

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2012, 11:54:08 PM »
You need one of these like I saw on Pawn Stars the other night:


demi

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #14 on: April 04, 2012, 12:16:29 AM »
Thanks guys!  Feeling better after laying around all day in bed.  Hopefully tomorrow I can sit down on a chair instead of standing and typing like I am doing right now.

Got some medicine to put on the wound that is likely will help it heal.  It's like anal sex but in medicine form.  Was supposed to have it yesterday but medicine for the butt muscles is not regularly stocked at your local pharmacy and they had to special order it.

lololol you put things in your butt
fat

MCD

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #15 on: April 04, 2012, 12:39:12 AM »


You need this, Bebpo.

Momo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #16 on: April 04, 2012, 12:40:32 AM »

Aww hell Beb, get better man :(

Phoenix Dark

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #17 on: April 04, 2012, 12:41:48 AM »
I could barely sit when my hemorrhoid flared. Probably the worst week of school/work I've ever had. Had to sleep on my side, and even that didn't feel good
010

Smooth Groove

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #18 on: April 04, 2012, 12:52:03 AM »
Bebpo, try icing it to numb the pain.  Hope you feel better soon. 

I know that Crohn's disease can be very painful.  Have you tried surgery yet?

:(

Do your Anime body pillows help?

That's messed up but it made me laugh. 


Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #19 on: April 04, 2012, 12:56:05 AM »
(Image removed from quote.)

You need this, Bebpo.

My wife has one of those from when she got hit by a car in Jaunary. Total lifesaver, but they're not easy to find in stores.
野球

Powerslave

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2012, 01:04:18 AM »
just ask around for a buttbagel

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #21 on: April 04, 2012, 01:11:17 AM »
That is, can sphincter mean anything other than butthole?
Ya.  A sphincter is essentially any place in the body that can tighten to form a closure.  Your eye muscles are a sphincter for example.

Bildi

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #22 on: April 04, 2012, 01:39:02 AM »
So..... your mouth is also a sphincter.

Gosh.

recursivelyenumerable

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2012, 02:32:20 AM »
I think YOUR DUMB FACE is a sphincter
QED

Bildi

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2012, 02:47:13 AM »
I was feeling down so thought I'd come to eb to cheer up a bit.

Everyone is delivering spectacularly as usual. :interracial

Human Snorenado

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #25 on: April 04, 2012, 03:03:22 AM »
Jesus, that is too messed up for me to make fun of, sorry Bebpo and I hope you get better soon.  :-\
yar

Corporal

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #26 on: April 04, 2012, 09:33:33 AM »
Yeowch. Get well ASAP, man.

Didn't know you could tear a muscle from shitting too hard. Huh. The things you have to look out for in life.  ::)
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EmCeeGrammar

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #27 on: April 04, 2012, 01:54:31 PM »
Isn't crohns an autoimmune defeciency?   I heard of this one guy who went  to Africa to walk in the shit of the locals so he could contract worms (ie parasites) which counteracted his overzealous immune responses. He then sold the worms he extracts from his own shit to others like him.  Just putting that out there.
sad

Joe Molotov

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #28 on: April 04, 2012, 02:02:45 PM »
I'd rather just have a disease.
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EmCeeGrammar

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #29 on: April 04, 2012, 02:07:21 PM »
There was an episode of House that delved into the worms curing crohn's too.  Or some intestinal disorder like it.  They use big words on House, must be legit.
sad

Great Rumbler

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #30 on: April 04, 2012, 03:25:18 PM »
Guys, don't tear your anal sphincter. It's just not worth it.
dog

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #31 on: April 04, 2012, 05:45:54 PM »

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #32 on: April 04, 2012, 05:48:55 PM »
Doing better today, thanks.  Spencer, I didn't realize you had IBS; yeah that's a lot like Crohn's and is definitely tough.  Are you going to be ok without the medical marijuana?

I could barely sit when my hemorrhoid flared. Probably the worst week of school/work I've ever had. Had to sleep on my side, and even that didn't feel good

Yeah I had a hemorroid once and it was terrible and a lot like this.  Nature is always out to kill our butts and it sucks sometimes :(

Verdigris Murder

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #33 on: April 04, 2012, 06:39:45 PM »
Why are people who Internet far more prone to getting really sick ? It's a crazy thing, that will keep me up all night.

Anyway get well soon buddy, you only have one ass in your life and make sure she's hot and smart.
:{]

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #34 on: April 04, 2012, 06:54:15 PM »
Why are people who Internet far more prone to getting really sick ? It's a crazy thing, that will keep me up all night.

Eh, I don't think this is true at all.  You probably just don't know that the guy two doors down from you has arthritis irl.

Huff

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #35 on: April 04, 2012, 07:05:31 PM »
Isn't crohns an autoimmune defeciency?   I heard of this one guy who went  to Africa to walk in the shit of the locals so he could contract worms (ie parasites) which counteracted his overzealous immune responses. He then sold the worms he extracts from his own shit to others like him.  Just putting that out there.

tell me you didn't believe the person who told you this
dur

Joe Molotov

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #36 on: April 04, 2012, 08:50:06 PM »
Yeah I had a hemorroid once and it was terrible and a lot like this.  Nature is always out to kill our butts and it sucks sometimes :(

Diseases of affluence suck #firstworldproblems
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pilonv1

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #37 on: April 04, 2012, 09:01:13 PM »
Sorry to hear you have Crohns bebpo, have two family friends who have it (one pretty bad) so I've seen what it can do. Hope you're feeling better.
itm

Verdigris Murder

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #38 on: April 05, 2012, 04:02:34 PM »
I think most of the Bond sidekicks had crones disease!!!

Lol guys.
:{]

EmCeeGrammar

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #39 on: April 05, 2012, 07:18:42 PM »
Why are people who Internet far more prone to getting really sick ? It's a crazy thing, that will keep me up all night.

Anyway get well soon buddy, you only have one ass in your life and make sure she's hot and smart.

I'm not a sickly person really.  Usually I just get one or two  sinus infections a year but I'm pretty sure smoking is contributing to that.
sad

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #40 on: April 05, 2012, 07:23:52 PM »
Pretty much back to health now.  Worked partially yesterday and today, but the hardest part was actually being weak from a diet of bread, rice, water, bananas and peanut butter sandwiches for 5 days.  Had like no energy.  Started eating food again today at lunch (mmmm fresh grilled fish and veggies) and already feel way better.  Thinking I'll probably be back to normal life tomorrow and will work this weekend to catch up on stuff.


Sorry to hear you have Crohns bebpo, have two family friends who have it (one pretty bad) so I've seen what it can do. Hope you're feeling better.

Thanks.  I'm usually ok, as long as I take my meds, but every few years something sucky like this happens >_< 
The only real permanent downsides I find are having to watch what you eat a bit, having to time plans/events so you don't have to run to the bathroom in the middle of them, and keeping around a backpack at work with good quality toilet paper since most places have cheap TP that scratches your ass up.

I have a feeling as I become an old man it'll be tougher on me.  But that's far in the future and life is enjoyable right now!

I think most of the Bond sidekicks had crones disease!!!

Lol guys.

 :lol



Phoenix Dark

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #41 on: April 05, 2012, 07:25:06 PM »
Does it run in your family?
010

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #42 on: April 05, 2012, 07:26:57 PM »
Not really.  I have an aunt with IBS and that's about it.

Flannel Boy

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #43 on: April 05, 2012, 10:10:09 PM »
Why are people who Internet far more prone to getting really sick ? It's a crazy thing, that will keep me up all night.

Yes, the amount of internet users with malaria, AIDS, tuberculosis, measles, whooping cough, and Sickle cell anemia is just frightening.


Trent Dole

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #44 on: April 05, 2012, 10:49:50 PM »
Thread title sounds like the sequel to Try Not to Fart.
Hi

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #45 on: May 02, 2012, 05:44:35 PM »
Had a colonscopy today.  They found a zillion ulcers healing in throughout large intestines, which are probably why I haven't been able to digest anything for a month.  Apparently they're at the later stages of healing so it's all good, but I am told I must have had an intestinal infection from something in the last month.  I blame trying the new local Korean BBQ during that time frame >_<

They cut out one of them to run some tests on it, however it seems things (which had been improving) are going to continue to improve and bring me back to full health in the following weeks.  This is good.  I'm getting pretty bored of playing videogames and watching anime/movies when not at work since being in the social world is not currently working. 

Btw, colonscopy's kind of suck and kind of don't.  The prep stuff and everything leading up to the procedure is sucky, but once you're sitting in that nice warm hospital bed and an IV is hooking you up with water to your veins and the drug man is getting you high, it's good times.  Then the next second you wake up and don't remember a thing and it's 90 mins later and you're on your way home.  Wish you could just walk into a hospital, get high, and get your procedure done.  Would make hospitals a fun place.

Great Rumbler

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #46 on: May 02, 2012, 05:56:25 PM »
"Here's your complimentary weed, sir, we'll be ready for you in fifteen minutes."
dog

Himu

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #47 on: May 02, 2012, 06:12:02 PM »
Jeez, I missed this thread. I hope everything goes well, buddy.
IYKYK

Madrun Badrun

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #48 on: May 02, 2012, 08:23:47 PM »


Btw, colonscopy's kind of suck and kind of don't. 
lol, that's gay

chronovore

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #49 on: May 03, 2012, 12:32:26 AM »

chronovore

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #50 on: May 03, 2012, 12:38:06 AM »
Eep!  That doesn't sound good Bebpo. :(

Is "anal sphincter" like saying "penis dick"?  That is, can sphincter mean anything other than butthole?  I could look it up but then I'd have nothing to ponder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphincter
Quote
A sphincter is an anatomical structure, a circular muscle that normally maintains constriction of a natural body passage or orifice and which relaxes as required by normal physiological functioning. Sphincters are found in many animals; there are over 50 types in the human body, some microscopically small, in particular the millions of precapillary sphincters.[1]

EmCeeGrammar

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #51 on: May 03, 2012, 09:48:32 AM »
I would miss my colon so much.
sad

Joe Molotov

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #52 on: May 03, 2012, 10:11:56 AM »
Just last week my colon looked up at me and said "Thank you" and I said "No, thank you."
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Baiano19

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #53 on: May 03, 2012, 10:32:23 AM »
Late to the thread, but teared anal sphincter is one of the worst pains in medicine. Glad that it got better... Chron though is a very annoying disease, best of luck for you.

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #54 on: May 03, 2012, 05:55:34 PM »
Thanks.


Aaand the colonoscopy just gave me an abscess infection and now I'm on two sets of anti-biotics for the next 14 days.  Fml

Huff

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #55 on: May 03, 2012, 06:17:51 PM »
Seems you just cant catch any breaks

that sucks dude
dur

Bebpo

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #56 on: May 03, 2012, 07:32:53 PM »
 :lol

Luckily I've actually been able to work a good deal throughout all this.  After initially missing 2 weeks, I've been back at work daily, but sometimes I come in a few hours late or have to skip out early, or take a half day off and go see a doctor.  It's kind of good that things are pretty slow right now around the office (we've settled almost half the cases we had in the last 2-3 months) as I'm able to stay 100% caught up on all my cases, while working closer to part-time.

Himu

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #57 on: May 03, 2012, 07:34:36 PM »
do you get to eat a lot of ice cream? wait, that was forrest gump.
IYKYK

chronovore

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #58 on: May 04, 2012, 03:03:54 AM »
I misread the thread title as "Don't tease your anal spider," which also seems like good advice.

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Re: Don't tear your anal sphincter
« Reply #59 on: May 04, 2012, 03:13:13 AM »