Author Topic: Tales from OKCupid (Read 6459 times)

GilloD · « **on:** April 27, 2012, 02:25:59 PM »

I'm starting this thread to regale all of you with tales from OKCupid. There are a lot of normal people on OKC, but also a lot of weirdos. I spend most of my time worrying that the girl I'm going to meet will be fat. Admitting this to myself has been the biggest personal development inspired by OKC. You find out that you are a much worse person than you expected.

Theres a girl I was talking to who sounded cute and then we met and she's basically the female version of Screech, but she's really nice. Now she texts me all the time and I should probably just be honest about this being a no-go.

Last week I went on a date with an adorable dental hygenist. The date went awesome because I am suave. There was a lot of casual contact and eye contact and little touches so I'm like WE ARE TOTALLY IN MAKEOUT TERRITORY and I walked her to her car and she went to give me my jacket back but because I was a little drunk I was like "Oh, we're going the hug route" and there was this unbelievably awkward moment where she's kind of taking the jacket off but I've locked her into a hug. Massive failure. But I'm seeing her again this week, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

All the other girls are weirdos. I get like 4 messages a day from girls with weird tattoos.

FlameofCallandorReturns · « **Reply #1 on:** April 27, 2012, 02:40:26 PM »

I went on a date with a girl that was int eh marines and planned on redeploying after she graduated. She also was into dressing up and reenacting at the Texas Renaissance Festival. She was really late to our first and only coffee meetup and then talked about anime club for a lot of the time.

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #2 on:** April 27, 2012, 02:43:22 PM »

What's wrong with fat girls

demi · « **Reply #3 on:** April 27, 2012, 02:44:21 PM »

For real.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #4 on:** April 27, 2012, 03:50:44 PM »

Every year on my birthday I get an email from them- "HELLO RAYMOND! STILL SINGLE?!"

Who's Raymond?

Steve Youngblood · « **Reply #5 on:** April 27, 2012, 03:57:47 PM »

I often call my friends who are named Ryan, Raymond. You know, like how I call people my friend Jonathan Johnny.

Are you telling me that this isn't commonplace?

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #6 on:** April 27, 2012, 05:25:24 PM »

OKC makes one realize just how shallow they really are, that I agree with

Quote

"Oh, we're going the hug route" and there was this unbelievably awkward moment where she's kind of taking the jacket off but I've locked her into a hug. Massive failure. But I'm seeing her again this week, so I guess it wasn't that bad.

You might just be too meta for her, Gillo.

Robo · « **Reply #7 on:** April 27, 2012, 06:28:21 PM »

My main thing with OKCupid (and online dating in general) that keeps coming up again and again is that people have a tendency to portray themselves online as they'd like to be perceived, which is quite often the exact opposite of reality. I can be guilty of it, myself. When it comes time to do the dating thing and have a conversation in person, the disconnect becomes painfully obvious.

I'm having better results random selecting chicks in bars and such and sharing opposite interests rather than combing through a group of people who are trying to adapt to a parallel and not quite on the same level.

But maybe that's my self-loathing showing.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #8 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:00:03 PM »

I've met so many hot dental hygienists over the years. And most of them have awesome teeth/mouths. Definitely a solid profession to date

OKC has shown me that I'm not as black as I thought I was. All my top matches are the most vanilla, boring white women. One of my highest matches looks like a female version of Cohen. I realize the site is dominated by white people but come on, how many women who enjoy baking, Coldplay, ~~anime~~"Japanese culture" and Twilight can a brother get a 93% match with? $:-\$

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #9 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:25:13 PM »

I once had a girl I went on two (!!!) dates with show up on my porch, like...8 months later. Hadn't spoken to her that much since the last date. She's there as I get back from class, and she, verbatim:

"I don't have a place to live. Can I live with you for the rest of the year?"

I let her take a shower, gave her some food, and sent her on her way. No fucking way that was gonna happen.

Found out like a week later she's living with a new boyfriend. Lawl.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #10 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:30:51 PM »

Was she hot?

MyNameIsMethodis · « **Reply #11 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:31:37 PM »

Not if shes in love with Brand New.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

that was mean imsorry

[close]

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #12 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:34:42 PM »

Pretty sure BN has never dated a woman below 8/10

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #13 on:** April 27, 2012, 08:38:10 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on April 27, 2012, 08:30:51 PM

Was she hot?

I thought so at first. Then the crazy hit me, and I got the shit out of there. She had a reaaaaally nice ass. Kind of a weird head size though.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #14 on:** April 27, 2012, 11:55:47 PM »

Quote from: Robo on April 27, 2012, 06:28:21 PM

My main thing with OKCupid (and online dating in general) that keeps coming up again and again is that people have a tendency to portray themselves online as they'd like to be perceived, which is quite often the exact opposite of reality. I can be guilty of it, myself. When it comes time to do the dating thing and have a conversation in person, the disconnect becomes painfully obvious.

I'm having better results random selecting chicks in bars and such and sharing opposite interests rather than combing through a group of people who are trying to adapt to a parallel and not quite on the same level.

But maybe that's my self-loathing showing.

I have the opposite problem... I'm so brutally honest and get all of my weird shit out in the open that no girl in their right mind is interested in me, so then I end up with only the insane (even for women, hey-o!) ones contacting me. I gave up last year and just deleted my profile, don't think I'll bother to make a new one even though I'm in a new town and could have an entirely new batch of women that I'm supposedly compatible with ignore my messages.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #15 on:** April 28, 2012, 01:14:22 AM »

I'm the same way, man. I like to just lay it all out, because fuck charading as someone else. Most the girls that contacted me on okcupid were crazy. There's been a few that I'm actually really good friends with now, but I seem to attract only the type of girls who cannot just identify themselves as something. They're just all over the place.

I'm sad because the girl I was dating ended things because she was afraid to commit to me. Which I think is a bullshit excuse and just a facade for actually things moving too fast. What sucks is that she was the one talking about our future after a month, not me. lao;shdfh;ljasdfk it's frustrating.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #16 on:** April 28, 2012, 01:17:55 AM »

Bitches be trippin', mang. And they wonder why I choose to present myself as a gruff, emotionally distant daddy figure.

Well, that and the dirty talk that it engenders, but yeah.

tiesto · « **Reply #17 on:** April 28, 2012, 11:33:42 AM »

Sounds like a good thread... haven't really met any girl that was outright crazy yet, nor have had any truly bad dates, barring one... went out with a hipster vegan girl. Looked cute from her pics but she was extremely gummy (horse/Sarah Jessica Parker esque mouth) in person. Took her to a gastropub without knowing she was a vegan. She didn't have a very good time, and she said she had to leave because her friend locked himself out of his apartment and she had to go get him a spare key or something...

Yeah so that one was a disaster.

Right now I'm talking to a Hungarian chick from the city who is into the ME series (she even has "N7" in her username, which is why I clicked on her profile to begin with

). Last Hungarian girl who was into WRPGs, I ended up dating her for a year and a half and let her borrow Skies of Arcadia, and now she does things like buy a PS3 for Gust games

Also talking to and attempting to make plans with a girl who emailed me b/c she likes the pic of me dressed up as Ash Ketchum for halloween on my profile... she is really Italian (like a guidette) who is into Pokemon and nerdy stuff. Maybe a nerd + guidette is a good match for me. I lay it all out on my profile with the games/animu/music stuff... still get a lot of responses back from women. Though it never leads anywhere

GilloD · « **Reply #18 on:** April 28, 2012, 12:57:55 PM »

You gotta lock it in. Don't go more than like 3 or 4 messages without suggesting a meetup.

GilloD · « **Reply #19 on:** May 04, 2012, 04:29:57 AM »

Met a girl tonight who I actually liked! Stuck by my "No Kissing on the first date rule", but. Hey.

That's all. Fuckin' salacious, right?

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #20 on:** May 04, 2012, 05:21:40 AM »

WELL I NEVER

spoiler (click to show/hide)

The first time I ever went out on a date where I met a girl from okcupid we ended up having sex all night after getting really drunk at a bar. She was alright, too, so I think that sort of spoiled me as far as expectations for this sort of thing go. Like, "man this is too easy" sort of.

[close]

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #21 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:21:48 AM »

I never used online dating, but I picked up a girl in a internet cafe once.

You guys are like next gen and shit.

Robo · « **Reply #22 on:** May 04, 2012, 11:34:50 AM »

I disabled my account this morning.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #23 on:** May 04, 2012, 07:32:31 PM »

The messages that get reported are some of the best shit I've ever seen.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #24 on:** May 04, 2012, 07:42:04 PM »

70% of the messages I receive look like this:

Brehvolution · « **Reply #25 on:** May 04, 2012, 07:44:31 PM »

Tell her you really like Malfoy and that you hate that he is so misunderstood. You don't really like Harry Potter, it's just the name of the movie Malfoy is in.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #26 on:** May 04, 2012, 07:47:54 PM »

God that image is depressing PD- all the more reason to stay away imo.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #27 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:01:42 PM »

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #28 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:02:32 PM »

hahahaha. fuck.

Also don't narc.

http://okcrap.tumblr.com/

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #29 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:04:21 PM »

See its like, you could put the stuff you honestly like and normal people will write you off- but if youre honest about what you really like you get people who like the same thing but WAY too much

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #30 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:08:54 PM »

Looking through my messages, I feel kind of bad about not responding to nearly any. There was a black girl who messaged asking why I liked Radiohead, I probably should have said something $:-\$

But yea, way too many people on okcupid are basically like this

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #31 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:10:37 PM »

Truth is a lot of people end up alone and they die- but its up to OK Cupid to make money off them in the meantime.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #32 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:21:38 PM »

Well as De Niro said in Heat, I'm alone I am not lonely

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #33 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:22:53 PM »

Unless you wanna talk Harry Potter

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #34 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:30:28 PM »

:'(

Himu · « **Reply #35 on:** May 04, 2012, 08:44:46 PM »

i did not have any results with okcupid. like, at all. my experience is exact same as pd's.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #36 on:** May 04, 2012, 09:38:23 PM »

To be fair im not some catch either- pretty sure 'dug clothes out of dryer to get a 7-11 big gulp and big bite; watching giant bomb endurance runs while playing wacky jappy rpg' isnt gonna bring the ladies

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #37 on:** May 04, 2012, 09:51:29 PM »

Quote from: MrAngryFace on May 04, 2012, 09:38:23 PM

To be fair im not some catch either- pretty sure 'dug clothes out of dryer to get a 7-11 big gulp and big bite; watching giant bomb endurance runs while playing wacky jappy rpg' isnt gonna bring the ladies

"hey you like big gulps! I guess that's a good enough place to start a relationship; what's your favorite flavor?"

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #38 on:** May 04, 2012, 09:52:23 PM »

haha oh god noo! ok cupid people could make me hate big gulps!

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #39 on:** May 04, 2012, 10:42:40 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on May 04, 2012, 09:51:29 PM

Quote from: MrAngryFace on May 04, 2012, 09:38:23 PM
To be fair im not some catch either- pretty sure 'dug clothes out of dryer to get a 7-11 big gulp and big bite; watching giant bomb endurance runs while playing wacky jappy rpg' isnt gonna bring the ladies

"hey you like big gulps! I guess that's a good enough place to start a relationship; what's your favorite flavor?"
spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]

c_c

Lan · « **Reply #40 on:** May 05, 2012, 11:36:14 AM »

can't get down with the dating sites.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #41 on:** May 05, 2012, 01:01:14 PM »

I remember, around 19 years old? In my frustration at girls not messaging me back I wrote another message to a girl with a Zelda shield tattoo on her back that the tattoo fucking sucks. I then felt a huge pang of shame and never returned.

demi · « **Reply #42 on:** May 07, 2012, 09:57:36 AM »

Quote from: BlueTsunami on May 05, 2012, 01:01:14 PM

I remember, around 19 years old? In my frustration at girls not messaging me back I wrote another message to a girl with a Zelda shield tattoo on her back that the tattoo fucking sucks. I then felt a huge pang of shame and never returned.

this is making me laugh seeing this little porkster furiously bang at his keyboard in rage at some chick with a zelda tattoo

FlameofCallandorReturns · « **Reply #43 on:** May 07, 2012, 10:02:47 AM »

I'm still seeing the awesome teacher girl from Michigan who I met off of OKcupid. We are getting along great really.

GilloD · « **Reply #44 on:** May 09, 2012, 02:29:17 AM »

SO, last night I was like "ugghhhh why do i keep going on dates" but I decided to go because you never know and it was TOTALLY AWESOME. It started off a little wonky because we were both kind of in the "How honest can I be with this person?" phase of the date and then it gradually kind of sloped into TRUTHVILLE where I was like "I'm divorced and I own an air mattress that's way too big for me and it's crazy lonely!" and she was like "I will not fuck you on an air mattress, so please get a real bed because you're cute" and it's going really well and then she kind of gives me this conspiratorial look and whispers "Do you wanna get high and go to Disneyland this weekend?" and I'm like YES PLEASE and we got pretty drunk and ordered like a million bucks worth of Vietnamese food and, anyway. Super fun, low pressure. I'm still carrying this weird torch for that girl I just broke up with. That shit is a fucking Chernobyl of weird feeling. Boy do I miss her.

Anyway, 2nd date with the girl I went to Largo with last week is tomorrow. I think I'm gonna focus on these two and see where it goes. I dunno where you kids are having problems with this internet dating shit because I'm batting 1000 over here.

GilloD · « **Reply #45 on:** May 09, 2012, 02:32:32 AM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on May 04, 2012, 07:42:04 PM

70% of the messages I receive look like this:

(Image removed from quote.)

SMOOVE TALK: Get that shit out of your profile! Look, I like Harry Potter too, but not enough to mention it outloud ON A DATING WEBSITE. The only flies you attract with that honey are OTHER PEOPLE FOR WHOM HARRY POTTER IS THEIR PRIMARY MEDIA AND IDENTITY OBJECT. It's fine if shit is going well and you can charmingly, with disarming conviction, admit your enthusiasm for Harry Potter. But get it the fuck out of your profile.

tiesto · « **Reply #46 on:** May 10, 2012, 01:46:07 PM »

Sounds like a good date, Gillo, apart from the "eating tons of Vietnamese food" part!

I've got a date lined up for this weekend, we are going to Dave and Busters... she's a bit chubby with a cute face, which is nice

Also another girl wants to meet up with me to go kayaking, but she looks a bit on the plain side.

Atramental · « **Reply #47 on:** May 10, 2012, 02:14:57 PM »

When I was still using OKC, all I got was messages from hambeasts.

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Author Topic: Tales from OKCupid (Read 6459 times)