A guide to dating girls(z).

[GilloD]

Find a cool bar near your house. This is now your HQ. You'll also need a cheap ethnic joint nearby. Okay, hang on.

This bar has a happy hour from 5-9, where $12 drinks become $5 drinks. This is great; She doesn't need to know this. Try to schedule the date around 7:45. Get there at 7:30- Always be early so you can buy the drinks. Don't fuck this part up, the world is full of shitty dudes, make sure you buy the drinks or stay home.

So get this first drink going. This is a time for "Facebook" shit- Where'd you go to college? etc etc. Nurse it until 8:45 or so. If the date is going weird, or badly, or whatever, now is a chance to exit. If it's going well, go for drink two. Drink Two is about modest honesty. Talk about your parents. Admit something silly. Open up. Eye contact! Get your buzz going and connect. If you did this via OKC, now is a good time to talk about how weird that is. She's cute, right?

So drink two should be kicking out around 9:45/10. If things are going really well, ask if she's hungry. Here's a real test- There's a Pho joint down the street. This is terrible date food! But we're trying to figure out if she's cool or not. So order up. We're checking a few things here: Is she cool with sharing? Great. Double dipping? Amazing. She's totally cool. Also, if she tried to pick up the check, that's a good thing. ANyway, somewhere in there you should have totally scored a second date. It usually happens during the 2nd drink.

Anyway, now you're good to go. You can try and kiss her at the end. I have a no kissing on first dates rule. Sends all kinds of weird messages.

[pilonv1]

Only two drinks in 2+hrs?

[TEEEPO]

my exact sentiments ^

[Verdigris Murder]

The OP is circumcised I deduced.

Its sad that people won't come to terms with the fact that the only reason circumcision exists is because masturbation is thought of a unhealthy by some insaniacs.

[Diunx]

Only two drinks in 2+hrs?

.

[Mupepe]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  The "Facebook small talk" is the worst.  I lose interest immediately if a girl starts down that path.  Could you be anymore boring or vain?  What makes you think I care about this shit on a first date.  Sell me on you.  Don't give me your biography.  I assume a lot of women think the same thing about men that do this too.

Edit: Honestly, this seems like a perfect plan to be that guy who gets the message that says "you're a great guy but I think we should just be friends". 

Edit 2: Or "you're like a big brother to me!" and "Aw, I can tell you anything!"  :'( :'(

[Phoenix Dark]

Ok Ruzbeh

[Mupepe]

I'll never do this buying drinks and shit. It's just not me. I don't club. I don't go to bars. I don't do alcohol.

My idea of a night out is going to some nice restaurant or cafe near a library, talk poetry, art, literature, and exchange laughs. She can drink alcohol of course, but it's not for me.

[Steve Youngblood]

I know I'm not the first to point this out, and as such this is unnecessary, but I'd just like to pile on that I'm baffled that your plan involves getting a buzz going with only two drinks in two hours. Either you need to order stronger drinks, or you're a 90 pound girl.

[Huff]

I don't think a drink an hour is a bad thing for a date if your not trying to end up sloppy. I'll let yal know if I ever figure out how to drink that slowly

[Robo]

Two drinks in two hours means no one is getting a DUI, which believe me, is a real date ruiner.

Not a luxury afforded to everyone, but I prefer to always take a taxi on dates if it's necessary.

Pounding drinks is not a great idea, anyway, but I think you can get by with two an hour without looking like an alcoholic.  I wouldn't go much over that.  Having a tendency to be a bit shy, I can understand the inclination some people might have to get a good buzz going.

[The Sceneman]

I don't think a drink an hour is a bad thing for a date if your not trying to end up sloppy. I'll let yal know if I ever figure out how to drink that slowly

[Smooth Groove]

You missed the part about slipping in roofies. 

[Bebpo]

Two drinks in two hours means no one is getting a DUI, which believe me, is a real date ruiner.

I dunno, it worked for Blackmage.

[Shadow Mod]

Dating girls or hooking up?

Bars. lol.

[TakingBackSunday]

ok I'm taking notes

[Human Snorenado]

A date isn't a success if someone's not tied up and crying at the end of the night.

[Huff]

Dating girls or hooking up?

Bars. lol.

if a girl can't enjoy going out to a bar, then shes cut right away. similar to if she doesn't get my Hot Rod references

[benjipwns]

Wait, wait, wait.

Females like social interaction?

And you can "date" them?

Hold on, let me put this on something I can pull out when needed.

A date isn't a success if someone's not tied up and crying at the end of the night.

Oh thank god.

[Shadow Mod]

if a girl can't enjoy going out to a bar, then shes cut right away. similar to if she doesn't get my Hot Rod references

I will go to a bar with someone but ones already at the bar alone are probably there to hook up. I just rarely hear about successful relationships that start in a bar (depending on the bar I mean). If it's got a specific vibe sure but a lot of bars are just full of "player" types.

[Himu]

thanks for the advice

now high time to kidnap a female

[Huff]

if a girl can't enjoy going out to a bar, then shes cut right away. similar to if she doesn't get my Hot Rod references

I will go to a bar with someone but ones already at the bar alone are probably there to hook up. I just rarely hear about successful relationships that start in a bar (depending on the bar I mean). If it's got a specific vibe sure but a lot of bars are just full of "player" types.

I live in pretty small town. You beach/boat during the day and bars at night. Not to get trashed, but to hang out. It's the bars where we meet the most people, although everyone usually knows or recognizes most people out. We don't have many "player" types here (outside of tourists  )

I get that its prob diff in other areas

[Himu]

h-h-h-h-h-h-ow do i talk to a girl without stuttering

should i shave my 3 month old beard before this date

what about showering? is that ok or does it make it seem like i'm trying too hard to get

[Himu]

people drink alcohol? really? alcohol tastes disgusting, they're not joking?

[Shadow Mod]

if a girl can't enjoy going out to a bar, then shes cut right away. similar to if she doesn't get my Hot Rod references

I will go to a bar with someone but ones already at the bar alone are probably there to hook up. I just rarely hear about successful relationships that start in a bar (depending on the bar I mean). If it's got a specific vibe sure but a lot of bars are just full of "player" types.

I live in pretty small town. You beach/boat during the day and bars at night. Not to get trashed, but to hang out. It's the bars where we meet the most people, although everyone usually knows or recognizes most people out. We don't have many "player" types here (outside of tourists  )

I get that its prob diff in other areas

Yeah I don't really bar hop much and I stick to more close knit bars like you're describing if and when I go out. But some bars in and around cities are just places to basically hook up and a lot of the clientelle are the kind to play games.

[Huff]

h-h-h-h-h-h-ow do i talk to a girl without stuttering

should i shave my 3 month old beard before this date

what about showering? is that ok or does it make it seem like i'm trying too hard to get

make sure to shave a cool design in you chest hair. gurls love that. the bat symbol is a popular choice

[benjipwns]

what about showering? is that ok or does it make it seem like i'm trying too hard to get

I've heard they like the masculine smell. Showering is just going to wash that away.

[Shadow Mod]

what about showering? is that ok or does it make it seem like i'm trying too hard to get

I've heard they like the masculine smell. Showering is just going to wash that away.

If someone's BO is too much it will mask everything but I do like the musk men give off >_>.

[Verdigris Murder]

h-h-h-h-h-h-ow do i talk to a girl without stuttering

should i shave my 3 month old beard before this date

what about showering? is that ok or does it make it seem like i'm trying too hard to get

make sure to shave a cool design in you chest hair. gurls love that. the bat symbol is a popular choice

Making love to a beautiful woman is a bit like making love to a The Batman.

[Himu]

what should i order instead of alcohol

will she laugh if i order up a glass of lemonade instead

[Human Snorenado]

Himu, I got you on this one.

You can order a glass of raw sewage and she won't notice or care if you follow my simple advice.

See, womens love them some candy.  Just put a kit kat or something under your balls, and eventually she'll start sniffing around for it.  Boom, problem solved.

[benjipwns]

but I do like the musk men give off >_>.

Well, yeah.

[Himu]

Himu, I got you on this one.

You can order a glass of raw sewage and she won't notice or care if you follow my simple advice.

See, womens love them some candy.  Just put a kit kat or something under your balls, and eventually she'll start sniffing around for it.  Boom, problem solved.

but she sounds like my dog and i already have a dog for that

[Huff]

what should i order instead of alcohol

will she laugh if i order up a glass of lemonade instead

order two glasses of cranberry juice

[Verdigris Murder]

Women also love glossy magazines. Always make sure that you have a copy of Housewives Gazette lying casually on the table as she approaches you. This will subconciously register in her brain (ladies are great at multitaskings) but on a very basic level, they are great at doing two things at once well; she will be walking towards you, and looking at people, then BAM, she will see the glossy mag, and her attention will be hopefully drawn away form looking at people.

You will have prepared your seductional-flowchart beforehand. Everything else depends on the suppression of that bucket of aftershave/manfume that you splashed all over your body, just after having a hypothetical beat-off in the shower. You used that musky smelling shower gel, and made sure you properly cleaned your arse and feet properly.

[Shadow Mod]

Make sure your bedding has animal print.

[Phoenix Dark]

Speaking of BO, I'm contemplating shaving my groan hair. I noticed it's kind of musty regardless of how clean it is now of days

I'm bummed, and wondering...do I use the same electric shaver I use to trim my beard?

[Akala]

I met my wife in a shitty college dive bar. We've been together like 10 years! Married for um....5? 

I've been called the player type before, but I think I'm just friendly.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

when drunk

[close]

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Speaking of BO, I'm contemplating shaving my groan hair. I noticed it's kind of musty regardless of how clean it is now of days

I'm bummed, and wondering...do I use the same electric shaver I use to trim my beard?

I've been free of pubic hair for about seven years.  It all started when I was arguing with my then girlfriend at the time about eating her out.  I told her I wouldn't eat her out anymore as long as she had pubes.  She then countered that she wouldn't go down on me unless I was shaven.  I took her up on her challenge and I'll be honest, it'll be hard to go back.  It feels more hygienic.

These days, it takes less than five minutes to do the job, every other day.  I do use a different razor for the job.

[Smooth Groove]

How bushy was she?  Some women insist that they smell better unshaved. 

[Cerveza mas fina]

I stopped reading at "make sure to buy the drinks or stay home".

What is this, the 50's? Sure I'll buy a girl a drink, but that's just because I'm the type that gets drinks for others anyway.

How bushy was she?  Some women insist that they smell better unshaved.

Never heard of this.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

How bushy was she?  Some women insist that they smell better unshaved.

She trimmed up pretty well at first but started to let the thing grow.  Granted her bush wasn't as hideous as Yoko Ono or Demi Moore's (see my NSFW thread posts) but eh, I just wasn't feeling it.  The girls I was seeing before this one were completely shaven down there and I guess I got spoiled.

T EXP, full bald mode down there is usually not desired by the ladies. Trim, yes, but no lady wants a naked mole rat. It makes it look like you're trying too hard to make you dick look bigger and it just looks weird

I've never encountered any complaints from any women about this.  Ever.  However, women generally gave better oral sex after shaving it all off.  For example, the occurrence of women putting my balls in their mouth went from zero to frequently.

I don't like talking about sex on this board due to the sidehugging brigade who will inevitably flap their hands at the idea of anyone having sex more than once a month so I'm going to stop here.

[tiesto]

You had a decent enough time on the first date, and want to ask for a follow-up... best way to do it?

[Human Snorenado]

You had a decent enough time on the first date, and want to ask for a follow-up... best way to do it?

Tattoo your name on her forehead?

[Barry Egan]

Find out her commute, create a huge poster with her name and the place you want to take her out, and tie it to an overpass she will see on her way home. 

[Huff]

You had a decent enough time on the first date, and want to ask for a follow-up... best way to do it?

straight up ask her. pretty simple.

if you're not happy doing that, have something lined up for next week/time, like "I have tickets for bla on bla, would you like to go with me"? etc

[fistfulofmetal]

this thread ended for me when you said "bar"

pass

[Human Snorenado]

this thread ended for me when you said "bar"

pass

We can help you, just substitute "middle-school playground" for all instances of "bar" and it works just fine given your tastes.

[Lan]

what about showering? is that ok or does it make it seem like i'm trying too hard to get

I've heard they like the masculine smell. Showering is just going to wash that away.

Depends on the girl.
I personally don't want to smell any BO or Musk. I should be able to only smell your shower soap or shampoo.

[GilloD]

You guys are the worst. If you take her to PATTY O FLANNIGANS BASKETBALL PUB or NIGHTSHADEZ CLUB then you're doing it wrong. Find a cool bar, someplace that's a little quiet and chilled out. ALso, yes buy the drinks. No, it's not 1950, but act like a fuckin' nice dude.

As for a 2nd date, I find "Hey, this was really fun, let's do it again soon?" works. Or I always try to find a common interest during the date. For example: The girl I totally had sex with last night once mentioned that no one would kick karaoke with her. When things were going well I was like "Oh man, I know this killer dive bar near your place with a karaoke joint next door, we totally need to do that!". And so when you text her the next day you can be all "Hey, if you're not up to anything on Friday, let's make that karaoke happen".

[Huff]

Gunna need way more than two drinks before letting her listen to me sing

[TakingBackSunday]

Gunna need way more than two drinks before letting her listen to me sing

 

[Shadow Mod]

How bushy was she?  Some women insist that they smell better unshaved.

She trimmed up pretty well at first but started to let the thing grow.  Granted her bush wasn't as hideous as Yoko Ono or Demi Moore's (see my NSFW thread posts) but eh, I just wasn't feeling it.  The girls I was seeing before this one were completely shaven down there and I guess I got spoiled.

Did you go down on her? Smell better unshaved? lol. Take some showers ladies.

[demi]

I went clean once, I think it looks childish and my skin was all sticky from my nuts getting stuck. Trimmed is definitely ideal.

[Vertigo]

Yeah fully shaved is slightly bizarre especially on men. I've done and it regretted it. Trimmed feels better and you get less annoying regrowth.

[BobFromPikeCreek]

I've given up and made Diablo 3 my bride.

[Human Snorenado]

I've given up and made Diablo 3 my bride.

That cheating slut.

[Verdigris Murder]

Penis hair stylists. You bunch of weirdos.

[tiesto]

I should take this advice to heart, things have been going terribly for me lately.  :'(