Why do people

[MrAngryFace]

always show up to my office right after i've farted? 

[Smooth Groove]

LOL Can't you ask them to wait a minute?  If not, keep a room spray for emergency. 

[Momo]

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

[Phoenix Dark]

Keeping room spray is worse

Co-worker: Frebreeze? I didn't know you smoked, MAF
MAF: No I just fart a lot. *ffuuuuuuuuuu*

[Mupepe]

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

My wife is weird.  We have a fairly large bedroom and I'll fart while we are both laying on the bed.  Then 10 minutes later she'll respond with "oh my god, did you fart??"  She never smells it when it first happens. 

[Momo]

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

My wife is weird.  We have a fairly large bedroom and I'll fart while we are both laying on the bed.  Then 10 minutes later she'll respond with "oh my god, did you fart??"  She never smells it when it first happens. 

I'm sure that everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in which one delivers oneself forth of a silent but potent gaseous emission and then steps rapidly away, only to have the fart cling to one's person. Part of the reason for this annoying characteristic of farts is the turbulence that follows in the wake of a moving person. The fart "slip streams" or is actually pulled along in the farter's direction by the air currents behind the person.

Another factor is that part of the fart is caught in the farter's clothing, and diffuses out slowly after the main part of the emission has dispersed.

[Momo]

This page answers like a bunch of fart questions, I stumbled upon it randomly last week

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

Great mysteries like these are solved :

Why do farts smell so much worse in a shower than anywhere else?

What would happen if someone farted on Venus?

Is it possible to freeze farts, and would they still be smelly after they are defrosted?

When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

 

[MrAngryFace]

My issue is more with people appearing to chat usually right after it happens- wtf weirdozzzz

[Beezy]

Momo

[Mupepe]

Fart travel time depends on atmospheric conditions such as humidity, temperature and wind speed and direction, the molecular weight of the fart particles, and the distance between the fart transmitter and the fart receiver. Farts also disperse (spread out) as they leave the source, and their potency diminishes with dilution. Generally, if the fart is not detected within a few seconds, it will be too dilute for perception and will be lost into the atmosphere forever.

Exceptional conditions exist when the fart is released into a small enclosed area such as an elevator, a small room, or a car. These conditions limit the amount of dilution possible, and the fart may remain in a smellable concentration for a long period of time, until it condenses on the walls.

My wife is weird.  We have a fairly large bedroom and I'll fart while we are both laying on the bed.  Then 10 minutes later she'll respond with "oh my god, did you fart??"  She never smells it when it first happens. 

I'm sure that everyone has experienced this phenomenon, in which one delivers oneself forth of a silent but potent gaseous emission and then steps rapidly away, only to have the fart cling to one's person. Part of the reason for this annoying characteristic of farts is the turbulence that follows in the wake of a moving person. The fart "slip streams" or is actually pulled along in the farter's direction by the air currents behind the person.

Another factor is that part of the fart is caught in the farter's clothing, and diffuses out slowly after the main part of the emission has dispersed.

but i don't go anywhere. 

[Momo]

Ignore the rest the bold part I proposed to apply to your fart lingering thing

[Mupepe]

Perhaps it's the blankets on our bed.  They act as a fart net

[Mr. Gundam]

Farts, how do they work?

[Eel O'Brian]

Why do people always fart just before I come into the room?

[Brehvolution]

When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo - 

9yo -

6yo - 

[brawndolicious]

I

Perhaps it's the blankets on our bed.  They act as a fart net

There was actually an infomercial for a blanket that has odor-eaters in it. To neutralize your spouse's sleep farts.

[Eel O'Brian]

please tell me it was called The Fartknocker™

[Mr. Gundam]

please tell me it was called The Fartknocker™

If it's not, you now know how to become a millionaire.

[BlueTsunami]

Worst place I've farted was right after I kissed a bride after the chapel procession I went too (some extended family I hardly know). I had been holding it the whole time inside and the walk outside the building was enough of a struggle. Once I hit the open air my body went into override mode and unloaded a stream of farts each spurting out to the rhythm of my stride. I imagined it being like tactically spraying pepper spray at a choke point. I never looked back.

[Phoenix Dark]

When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo - 

9yo -

6yo - 

9yo knows wassup

[MrAngryFace]

Why do people always fart just before I come into the room?

[recursivelyenumerable]

Because they

[Barry Egan]

you just know MAF is going to end up deleting his accounting because of this thread smh. 

[MrAngryFace]

and ill be all GRRR DEMI WHY U NOT HIDE MY FART LOGIC

[Trent Dole]

~*FaRtZ*~

[Himu]

When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo - 

9yo -

6yo - 

when I was in middle school, we'd have a joke where any time one of us farted, we'd say "safety" that shit never got old.

[tiesto]

When someone farts in my house, there are 3 responses:

11yo - 

9yo -

6yo - 

when I was in middle school, we'd have a joke where any time one of us farted, we'd say "safety" that shit never got old.

Yup, I remember "doorknob" and "safety"... then my friend made all these other things like "slugs" (4 extra punches), "kicks" (get kicked a few times), "smurfs" (punch someone till they turn blue)... farting was awesome.

[Joe Molotov]

Why do people always fart just before I come into the room?

You're the Fart Whisperer.