Author Topic: I had the worst dream of my life AKA if anyone asks why I off'd myself  (Read 9976 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
In all my years I've never had a more disturbing and disgusting dream.

In my dream I picked up a RHINO from a bar. A motherfucking ANTHROMORPHIC Rhino. And we went back to ITS place to have SEX!

But wait, THERE'S MORE! When we went for third base I caught something that turned me off... Not that I'm about to go down a disgusting animal, but the fact that it turned out to a FEMALE RHINO! that's right, I was disappointed about finding a VAGINA where there was supposed to be a PENIS (apparently Rhinos are hard to tell apart when they're not wearing make-up).

Oh wait, IT GETS BETTER! Being so put off by the unkempt vjj I tried make up an excuse to leave, the Rhino attempts to open the door, but I say "wait! I don't want anyone to see us leaving the room together" (finally, some semblance of SHAME!). Only it was too late, the door was opened and MOMMA RHINO was waiting outside happy that her daughter finally found someone! HNNNNNNGNGNGNNGGN. I was asked by the mother to leave my contact info with her girl so they could invite me back again (If someone calls me as I'm writing this line, I will kill myself).

And that's when I woke up. Holy shit I'm taking a bath and scrubbing myself with a cheese grater.

What could have possibly caused this? What kind of sick cosmic joke is this?

Was it because I made fun of Dust and furries before going to bed?

Or was it because I was thinking of an un-shampoo'd/un-soaped Himumu before I retired for the day?

This is very disturbing. Of all the animals in the animal kingdom. A Rhino. *suicide*
« Last Edit: June 20, 2012, 03:08:48 PM by Shaka Khan »
Unzip

Great Rumbler

  • Dab on the sinners
  • Global Moderator
dog

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
  • Senior Member
o_0

Himu

  • Senior Member
Well, to be fair, Prince William loves rhinos.

Save the rhinos!

http://www.people.com/people/package/article/0,,20395222_20605295,00.html
IYKYK

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
In all my years I've never had a more disturbing and disgusting dream.

In my dream I picked up a RHINO from a bar. A motherfucking ANTHROMORPHIC Rhino. And we went back to ITS place to have SEX!

But wait, THERE'S MORE! When we went for third base I caught something that turned me off... Not that I'm about to go down a disgusting animal, but the fact that it turned out to a FEMALE RHINO! that's right, I was disappointed about finding a VAGINA where there was supposed to be a PENIS (apparently they're hard to tell apart when they're not wearing make-up).

Oh wait, IT GETS BETTER! Being so put off by the unkempt vjj I make up an excuse to leave, the Rhino attempts to open the door, but I say "wait! I don't want anyone to see us leaving the room together" (finally, some semblance of SHAME!). Only it was too late, the door was opened and MOMMA RHINO was waiting outside happy that her daughter finally found someone! HNNNNNNGNGNGNNGGN. I was asked by the mother to leave my contact info with her girl so they could invite me back again (If someone calls me as I'm writing this, I will kill myself).

And that's when I woke up. Holy shit I'm taking a bath and scrubbing myself with a cheese grater.

What could have possibly caused this? What kind of sick cosmic joke is this?

Was it because I made fun of Dust and furries before going to bed?

Or was it because I was thinking of an un-shampoo'd/un-soaped Himumu before I retired for the day?

This is very disturbing. Of all the animals in the animal kingdom. A Rhino. *suicide*
010

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
someone photoshop his avatar humping a rhino wearing lipstick

:edit:  jesus right as I say that it changes

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
(Image removed from quote.)

This is why we're friends. You refuse to define me by my darkest moments.
Unzip

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
©@©™

Brehvolution

  • Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.
  • Senior Member
That is disturbing.
©ZH

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
That is disturbing.

Let's get real here. If you were stranded on an island for three months...



Are you telling me you wouldn't SMANG that?
Unzip

Himu

  • Senior Member
ban shaka khan
IYKYK

Brehvolution

  • Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.
  • Senior Member
Did you put underpants on that pic? :rofl
©ZH

The Sceneman

  • Did my wife send you?
  • Senior Member
:rofl

I'm dying here
#1

Positive Touch

  • Woo Papa
  • Senior Member
pcp

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Whats a rhino?

Seriously is this some kind of gay word like cool young dude or bear?

I skipped all the gross details of your post.

Dickie Dee

  • It's not the band I hate, it's their fans.
  • Senior Member
Whats a rhino?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
[close]

:nsfw
___

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Why would you post that?  :-\ Time to burn this computer and build a new one.
©@©™

D3RANG3D

  • The Bore's Like Bot
  • Senior Member

Cerveza mas fina

  • I don't care for Islam tbqh
  • filler
Im not clicking. Fuck that!

Great Rumbler

  • Dab on the sinners
  • Global Moderator
dog

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
Unzip

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
010

Momo

  • Nebuchadnezzar
  • Senior Member
This is the most weird yet oddly familiar thing. I used to have strange fucked up sex dreams when i was younger, and they all ended in shame as well.

Irrelevant anecdote aside, you must pour half a cup of dish washing liquid into your earhole to cleanse the rhino sex

CajoleJuice

  • kill me
  • Icon
I'm fucking losing it :rofl
AMC

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
I had the worst dream of my life AKA if anyone asks why I off'd myself
« Reply #24 on: June 20, 2012, 04:54:43 PM »
Did you put underpants on that pic?

No I just found it that way under "sexy rhino."

That's the Internet for you.
Unzip

lennedsay

  • Senior MILF
  • Senior Member
:rofl god damn

Kinda hot in these rhinos.
(|)

Himu

  • Senior Member
Just had a nap, I had a dream I was sucking the biggest dick I ever saw along with this girl I met and the piano player I know from a church.
IYKYK

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
  • Senior Member
Saw this on the way home -

o_0

Joe Molotov

  • I'm much more humble than you would understand.
  • Administrator
Shaka blew rhino.
©@©™

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
I had the worst dream of my life AKA if anyone asks why I off'd myself
« Reply #29 on: June 20, 2012, 10:50:52 PM »
I'm out with someone and the topic of dreams was brought and I shared this story....

Big.fucking.mistake!!

Writing it, hard as it was, was a lot less excruciating than actually hearing yourself saying it out loud.

Saw this on the way home -

(Image removed from quote.)

:rofl
Unzip

MrAngryFace

  • I have the most sensible car on The Bore
  • Senior Member
some things cannot be shared!
o_0

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Don't go and get yourself beheaded dude.

spoiler (click to show/hide)
What would you lick rhino vagina with then?
[close]

fistfulofmetal

  • RAPTOR
  • Senior Member
a gay, a saudi, and a furry walk into a bar

the bartender says "oh, hello jinfash"
nat

FatalT

  • Senior Member
Wait. You're calling ME crazy? At least I don't dream about fucking Rhinos.

Atramental

  • Senior Member
I have some dreams that I'm taking to my grave. That's for sure.

But thanks for sharing this with us, Shaka.  :lol


Hitler Stole My Potato

  • The Pelé of Anal
  • Senior Member
Tacos

etiolate

  • Senior Member
Just had a nap, I had a dream I was sucking the biggest dick I ever saw along with this girl I met and the piano player I know from a church.

aren't church piano players normally old ladies?

Himu

  • Senior Member
you clearly have never been to a black church
IYKYK

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
Just had a nap, I had a dream I was sucking the biggest dick I ever saw along with this girl I met and the piano player I know from a church.

aren't church piano players normally old ladies?
times have changed
 :himu
010

Broseidon

  • Estado Homo
  • Senior Member
a gay, a saudi, and a furry walk into a bar

the bartender says "oh, hello jinfash"

:rofl
bent

Brehvolution

  • Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.
  • Senior Member
I almost spit out my coffee when I saw your avatar this morning, Shaka. :rofl
©ZH

Akala

  • Easy Victor
  • Senior Member
 :lol

drew

  • sy
  • Senior Member
you really shouldn't have ever told anyone about this

I'm out with someone and the topic of dreams was brought and I shared this story....

aw shit, you dun did it now
« Last Edit: June 21, 2012, 10:48:06 PM by drew »

Shaka Khan

  • Leather Jihadist
  • Senior Member
some things cannot be shared!


you really shouldn't have ever told anyone about this, not even internet people.

24 hours later and I'm absolutely agreeing with this.

There's a reason why we tend to forget these dreams, it's a self-defense mechanism for our sanity's sake. I mean, now I can't look at rhinos the same way ever again. Now there's history between us.
Unzip

pilonv1

  • I love you just the way I am
  • Senior Member
a gay, a saudi, and a furry walk into a bar

the bartender says "oh, hello jinfash"

:rofl
itm

Phoenix Dark

  • I got no game it's just some bitches understand my story
  • Senior Member
I had this horrible, horrible dream that LeBron James was holding the Larry O'Brien trophy. I kept slapping myself and dunking my head in cold water to try to wake up, but I couldn't. The nightmare just kept going and going. It's still going.  :(


010

Himu

  • Senior Member
I had this horrible, horrible dream that LeBron James was holding the Larry O'Brien trophy. I kept slapping myself and dunking my head in cold water to try to wake up, but I couldn't. The nightmare just kept going and going. It's still going.  :(

(Image removed from quote.)
(Image removed from quote.)

lebron looks like he has seen the face of god

hint: it is a reflection inside that cup
IYKYK

Beezy

  • Senior Member