Why I'll be crying and masturbating to The Little Mermaid tonight

[Groogrux]

http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/07/04/u-s-government-confirms-there-are-no-mermaids/

Sorry, Ariel, looks like you’ll never be part of our world.

The U.S. National Ocean Service (NOS) made the firm announcement that mermaids do not exist. This announcement came in response to public inquiries into the NOS’ mermaid science program after a show about mythical creatures on the channel Animal Planet.

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” the NOS’s press release read, dispelling any rumors that “those half-human, half-fish sirens of the sea” are anything more than legend and the stuff of Disney movies.



Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/07/04/u-s-government-confirms-there-are-no-mermaids/#ixzz1zl7ablKi

So long, my red-headed love...

[Joe Molotov]

I smell a cover-up.

[Great Rumbler]

[Joe Molotov]

"Why couldn't she have been the other kind of mermaid, with the fish part on top and the lady part on bottom?"

[demi]

Pics or didnt happen

[benjipwns]

This is the same government that thinks our President isn't from Kenya right?

I think I'll stick to the facts I know.

[Joe Molotov]

This is the same government that thinks our President isn't from Kenya right?

I think I'll stick to the facts I know.

How could you not trust a government agency called NOS? They do XTREME science, woooooo, high adrenaline research! Strap yourselves in, bros and brosettes, you will get wet on this ride!

[Groogrux]

How could you not trust a government agency called NOS? They do XTREME science, woooooo, high adrenaline research! Strap yourselves in, bros and brosettes, you will get wet on this ride!

[recursivelyenumerable]

They exist in my heart

[Beezy]

This is the same government that thinks our President isn't from Kenya right?

I think I'll stick to the facts I know.

How could you not trust a government agency called NOS? They do XTREME science, woooooo, high adrenaline research! Strap yourselves in, bros and brosettes, you will get wet on this ride!

*applauds*

[The Sceneman]