Mitt Romney. He's amazing

[Verdigris Murder]

I don't really follow US politicians for obvious reasons, but your man Romney is pretty amazing. Here's a quote from the free press:
Tldr fuckers take some Ritalin.

The Republican presidential candidate solemnly laid a wreath at the tomb of Poland's unknown soldier, looking every inch the potential president as he reviewed the Polish troops.

He gave a solemn speech that talked of standing by allies like Poland, even name-checking Pope John Paul II, Lech Walesa and even Rosa Parks.

But the network news reporters were telling the TV audience back home how Mitt Romney's press person had lost his cool and, as reporters shouted questions at his boss, told them to kiss a portion of his anatomy not usually mentioned on American breakfast TV.

It was the low point of Mitt Romney's overseas trip, and not how Mr Romney wanted this tour to be remembered.

The press "bubble" had revolted, and for a reason.

Life inside the bubble, on tour with a major politician, has a weird effect on those held captive within it.

The orders come thick and fast: get off the plane, get on the bus, hurry up and wait.

"Has any one got wireless? What's the key?"

And the answers from the press too: "No, we can't go yet: I am still filing my TV piece/radio report/blog post."

"Oh well, ok."

Back on the bus. Back on the plane. Days start early and end late, adrenaline-soaked repetition allows a pleasurable numbness to set in - and one of the effects is distorting time itself.

Tight-lipped team
I can hardly believe that it was only a few days ago when I wrote that one danger for politicians on the foreign tour was that the trip becomes about The Trip - the one stumble that kills off all other coverage.

US media's verdict

"Around the World in Weighty Gaffes" is ABC News' headline on Mitt Romney's trip. Michael Falcone writes that while the tour is unlikely to make a significant impact on the US, Mr Romney "needs to change the subject - and fast".

"Maybe Mitt Romney should have just stayed in London and watched the dancing horses. Or just stayed home," Roger Simon writes in Politico, arguing that Mitt Romney could have better spent his time campaigning in swing states.

But in the Weekly Standard, Fred Barnes rates Mr Romney's trip a qualified success, saying the US press has not spotted as many gaffes as they have claimed.

Chris Cillizza writes at the Washington Post that Mr Romney is not passing the commander-in-chief test so far, but that hardly matters in this election year where foreign policy ranks as one of the lowest concerns.

Make that Trips. Mr Romney's perceived mis-steps have gone forth and multiplied.

There have been so many that any other message has been drowned out by the thump-thump-thump of him tumbling down the stairs.

The Romney campaign has a reputation for being so tightly controlled that it will not allow Mr Romney near the press who travel with him.

Perhaps this tour shows the reason why, although the candidate himself hardly seems the type to be an undisciplined spouter who says the first thing that comes into his head.

Some think the caution is Mr Romney's own reaction to a gaffe that did in his dad's presidential hopes, when he said he had been "brainwashed" by US generals over Vietnam.

But whatever the psychological or tactical roots of Mr Romney's decision to stick to a script, it is not great for those covering him, hour by hour.

Some of them have been at it for a year. There are no news conferences and even getting press officers to respond to queries is a major trial.

Barrage of bad news
There is no attempt to whip up the Stockholm syndrome.

Most major politicians are a dab hand at charming at least some of those who trail round behind them, sending their sharp news values into a purring stupor.


Romney: US will stand with Israel
Mr Romney does not bother to chat with the girls and boys on the bus, so they remain uncharmed and untamed.

Even getting any response to the alleged gaffes was an ordeal that lasted for days.

It was literally only in the last few minutes of the tour that a chief strategist eventually said the obvious, briefed that the American people liked those who said what they felt and absolutely none of this had any relevance to voters' real lives.

But we were off the bus. Not too late to file, but too late to wash away the cumulative impression.

The trouble is that, taken together, the barrage of bad news has drowned out the main purpose of the trip: to present Mr Romney as an international statesman-in-waiting.

The trip suggests that in office Mr Romney might be an undiplomatic handful when not bound and gagged by his staff. Will that damage his chances in the November election?

The strategist is right - some Americans relish blunt. Some conservatives have rallied .

After all, Ronald Reagan and George W Bush had their moments that the East Coast perceived as indiscretions, but the Midwest saw as hilarious or righteous. They got elected. Then they got elected again.

Air of nostalgia
But Mr Romney lacks their rumbunctiousness and charisma. It is pretty clear he did not mean to offend and did not think he would.

It is hard to see the casual, undecided, viewer being wowed by Mr Romney's foreign adventure.

But it also points to a larger problem with this tour. How would Mr Reagan and Mr Bush - or rather their foreign policies - do today?

The message behind this trip was to point out what Mr Romney says is President Barack Obama's scorn for good, solid allies like Britain, Israel and Poland.

I hardly think many in Britain are truly offended by the removal of Winston Churchill's bust from the Oval Office four years ago. But many in Poland and Israel are pretty upset by Mr Obama's policy towards them. So it is fair enough.

All in all, there is an air of nostalgia about this trip. There were visits to old allies, where not much different is happening, but no visits to countries that are newly putting into practice the principles of democracy and free enterprise that Mr Romney talks about.

Then there is that threat of war. Americans like toughness, but they do not relish a new conflict.

So there are plenty of questions left to ask about Mr Romney's foreign policy.

But the press secretary need not reach for his bumper book of insults, and the ears of breakfast viewers will not be assaulted again. For Mr Romney is heading home and there the only subject will be the economy.

[StealthFan]

Better than the Great Chocolate Hope Obama.

[Human Snorenado]

Better than the Great Chocolate Hope Obama.

You are probably too fucking stupid to tie your own shoes if you honestly believe that.

[Phoenix Dark]

You know you're fucked when you go to Poland and the crowd starts chanting for the black guy instead

[Boogie]

Romney surrogate, on the special relationship between England and the US:  "Romney understands the Anglo-Saxon perspective, and values the friendship with England, in a way that the president just doesn't"

*Romney proceeds to visit England and piss off the entire country*

[Himu]

this is going to be a laughapalooza of an election

i've never seen a party discard their nominee this fast and NO ONE has faith in this guy.

[MrAngryFace]

He's not MY man- GOP could have had a serious candidate, but anyone interesting was shoo'ed out of the room early on.

[Phoenix Dark]

Jeb Bush would probably be leading Obama by 3-5 points right now

[Stoney Mason]

He's pretty bad. I always knew he came off like a phony but Americans are often pretty dumb so I thought they'd fall for his I'm a rich guy so that makes me a genius schtick.


It's not working for him.

[brawndolicious]

The real fun will start when his tax returns/VP pick come out.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Romney is the GOP's John Kerry: an unlikable guy and deep down they know he doesn't stand much of a chance but at the same time they don't want to vote for the other guy so they just go with the motions.

[Verdigris Murder]

Better than the Great Chocolate Hope Obama.

You are probably too fucking stupid to tie your own shoes if you honestly believe that.

He probably doesn't. Who honestly would? I don't like his weird drone assassin disconnect upswing policy though.

[Phoenix Dark]

Mr. Raperman, what do folks think of Obama there? The general "well at least he's not Bush" feel or something else

[Brehvolution]

Can you imagine if the rumor that Romney didn't pay taxes for 10 years was true?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/31/harry-reid-romney-taxes_n_1724027.html

Take with a grain of salt though.

If anything, I hope this rumor makes release his taxes to squash the rumor.

[Trent Dole]

Romney is the GOP's John Kerry: an unlikable guy and deep down they know he doesn't stand much of a chance but at the same time they don't want to vote for the other guy so they just go with the motions.

Yes, and Kerry lost to a complete idiot while Mitt has to run against one of the most charismatic duders ever.

[Himu]

Hahaha Kerry 2004. First election I voted in.

[Human Snorenado]

Can you imagine if the rumor that Romney didn't pay taxes for 10 years was true?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/31/harry-reid-romney-taxes_n_1724027.html

Take with a grain of salt though.

If anything, I hope this rumor makes release his taxes to squash the rumor.

It's got to be something like this, I've been saying that for a while now.  10 years would be uh, yeah kinda crazy though.  I think it's either that or he made a whoooooole lot of money following the crisis in 2008 and doesn't want to look like even more of a filthy privileged jerkface or whatever.  It's probably a combination of both, to be honest.

[Brehvolution]

Can you imagine if the rumor that Romney didn't pay taxes for 10 years was true?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/31/harry-reid-romney-taxes_n_1724027.html

Take with a grain of salt though.

If anything, I hope this rumor makes release his taxes to squash the rumor.

It's got to be something like this, I've been saying that for a while now.  10 years would be uh, yeah kinda crazy though.  I think it's either that or he made a whoooooole lot of money following the crisis in 2008 and doesn't want to look like even more of a filthy privileged jerkface or whatever.  It's probably a combination of both, to be honest.

I think he's hiding that he made a buttload of money from the Salt Lake Olympics. Taxpayer money. The fed kicked in $410M and I'm sure he got his.

[Barry Egan]

Some of you may be surprised by how close Romney is to actually winning this election. His ability to embarrass himself so consistently isn't really going to factor in to his chances.

[Himu]

Well that's okay, Barry, because if I were conspiracy theorist college student I'd say - with knowledge! - that Romney and Obama are the same so we're fucked either way! RON PAUL!

[Human Snorenado]

Some of you may be surprised by how close Romney is to actually winning this election. His ability to embarrass himself so consistently isn't really going to factor in to his chances.

If there were a major Republican that was obviously not crazy or a wall street sociopath that they could nominate, that person would probably beat Obama kind of handily. 

Thankfully, such a person doesn't exist in the modern Republican party anymore.

[Phoenix Dark]

 

Some of you may be surprised by how close Romney is to actually winning this election. His ability to embarrass himself so consistently isn't really going to factor in to his chances.

If there were a major Republican that was obviously not crazy or a wall street sociopath that they could nominate, that person wouldprobably beat Obama kind of handily. 

Thankfully, such a person doesn't exist in the modern Republican party anymore.

The GOP should have nominated ToxicAdam

[Boogie]

See, the more I see the endless gaffes and fuckery of the Romney campaign, the more I think:  Surely Obama's campaign has a bunch of these aggravating screwups, right?  And I'm just not seeing them because we're a board that skews left.

But then I remember that the best the Romney campaign has done to play "gotchya!" on Obama has been that manufactured "you didn't build that" BS, and I realize that, no, the contrast between these two campaigns really is this absurd.

[Joe Molotov]

I hope he picks Dick Cheney as his VP.

[Oblivion]

See, the more I see the endless gaffes and fuckery of the Romney campaign, the more I think:  Surely Obama's campaign has a bunch of these aggravating screwups, right?  And I'm just not seeing them because we're a board that skews left.

But then I remember that the best the Romney campaign has done to play "gotchya!" on Obama has been that manufactured "you didn't build that" BS, and I realize that, no, the contrast between these two campaigns really is this absurd.

How's this:

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/07/28/Obama-Top-Ten-UK-Gaffes

[Bebpo]

You know you're fucked when you go to Poland and the crowd starts chanting for the black guy instead

[Purple Filth]

You know you're fucked when you go to Poland and the crowd starts chanting for the black guy instead

Ether 

[tiesto]

You know you're fucked when you go to Poland and the crowd starts chanting for the black guy instead

Fuckin amazing. 

[Great Rumbler]

How's this:

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/07/28/Obama-Top-Ten-UK-Gaffes

Touching the Queen is as big a no-no at Buckingham Palace as sincere patriotism is at the Obama White House:

Whoever briefed Michelle Obama on the things one does and doesn't do with one's hands when one meets the Queen must be wondering what went wrong.

Within minutes of their first encounter at Buckingham Palace yesterday, America's first lady broke royal protocol by doing the unthinkable: she gave the Queen a hug. The monarch, for her part, responded with equally flagrant disregard for convention by returning the gesture.

If only Michelle were so eager to embrace American liberty.

I'm dying here!

[Mandark]

http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2012/07/land-of-hope-and-glory.html

Short version: American conservative pundits were all anglophiles when they could write about an alleged rift between the Obama administration and the UK, but now that the Brits are making fun of Romney, it's all SCREW YOU, YOU HAS-BEENS!


Fanboys acting like fanboys, regardless of the arena.

[Verdigris Murder]

Mr. Raperman, what do folks think of Obama there? The general "well at least he's not Bush" feel or something else

He's liked. In maybe the same way that Bush was liked, but Bush has lesbian/drug connotations in slang. Basically they're pretty similar.

[DCharlieJP]

Romney is simply appealing to the stupid and, as much as we don't want to touch this sensitive issue with a bargepole, the problem is if your IQ rating is also a National Lottery Number, you should NOT have the right to vote.

Unfortunately, we seem to think that as long as you have the ability to flop to a voting poll then that makes you just as important as everyone else. Eventually there has to be the idea that you cannot let uneducated people run super powers. Eventually you are going to head to quasi-crusade nonsense or "BUT WE HAVE JESUS ON OUR SIDE" wars, or infighting with your own people.

As for the Chick-Fil-A shitfest?

F*Ck every single person bringing up "Biblical Values" - i'm with Doug Stanhope on this. The way to beat these clowns is to OUT CONSERVATE them. The bible clearly states what it thinks about sex before marriage so i'd like to propose that we make it a 10 year mandatory offense, also - divorce is now illegal. All Biblical values. Bringing back Slavery would be a push, seeing as that's advocated in the bible, but yeah - you'd have to be a mouth breathing southern state asswipe to advoc... oh... oh wait a minute.... i think i see now. :/

but yes - what people need to do is attach the "lets make premarital sex illegal" and "divorce now illegal" to all abortion and gay right put down movements. Because we all know - those conservative minds grow round their beliefs like a clubbed foot. X divorce having conservative radio mouth pieces talking about Biblical values? bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

[DCharlieJP]

Ultimately the truth is this : No one at the head of these movements believes a word they say - but they know masses of uneducated morons DO. so they are playing to the fact that the number of STUPID people in the US is a huge, massive voter base.

it's horrific and i'm not sure how we avoid Idiocracy the movie becoming an accurate historical document

[Human Snorenado]

Ultimately the truth is this : No one at the head of these movements believes a word they say - but they know masses of uneducated morons DO. so they are playing to the fact that the number of STUPID people in the US is a huge, massive voter base.

it's horrific and i'm not sure how we avoid Idiocracy the movie becoming an accurate historical document

I actually disagree... people like Ralph Reed and his ilk are cynical puppet masters, but Michelle Bachmann has the wild eyed stare of the true believer.