Author Topic: If there are people that won't poop at work (Read 6084 times)

I shit shirtless and I have jacked off at work. The whole taking a dump only at work thing makes sense if the person's dump-clock is set to a certain time.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #13 on:** August 03, 2012, 12:32:19 PM »

DUMP-CLOCK

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #14 on:** August 03, 2012, 12:41:17 PM »

boss: you've done quite well this quarter, and we have decided -
*the room is filled with the sound of items plopping into water at a slow, rhythmic pace*
stealthfan: sorry sir, it's my dump-clock
boss: you should have put it on vibrate
stealthfan:

tiesto · « **Reply #15 on:** August 03, 2012, 12:49:29 PM »

I'll only take a dump at work if it's a code-red emergency. Prefer to shit in the comfort of my own home.

BlueTsunami · « **Reply #16 on:** August 03, 2012, 01:03:26 PM »

A job I used to work at, I would walk into another building entirely into a secluded area where the offices were empty and shit in the restroom for that area. It was like the Secret Garden of bathrooms.

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #17 on:** August 03, 2012, 02:40:41 PM »

This thread is full of so many awesome revelations

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #18 on:** August 03, 2012, 02:51:19 PM »

Working plumbing and espicaly at Wal-marts has put me off ever using a public bathroom ever again.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #19 on:** August 03, 2012, 03:57:41 PM »

Quote from: Rebiak on August 03, 2012, 09:47:37 AM

30% of men jerk off at work.

I can confirm this.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #20 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:09:21 PM »

the truth is that if you haven't jerked off at work then you're prolly also boring and unsatisfying in bed

blame space · « **Reply #21 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:24:10 PM »

it would probably just be easier to list the places i don't jerk off

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #22 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:27:41 PM »

Quote from: blame space on August 03, 2012, 05:24:10 PM

it would probably just be easier to list the places i don't jerk off

In public.

That's mine at least, or it would be, if we weren't all under permanent surveillance by the man.

Robo · « **Reply #23 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:34:11 PM »

I'm pooping and jerking off at work right this minute.

Himu · « **Reply #24 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:35:49 PM »

why do you need to take your shirt off to poop?

king of the internet · « **Reply #25 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:44:52 PM »

My pooping situation at work is pretty good. There are several private restrooms in my vicinity, so I get to shit in peace. The only downside is that the walls aren't very good at blocking out sound so I have to turn on the sink to drown out the noise when I'm blasting ass.

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #26 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:48:25 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on August 03, 2012, 05:35:49 PM

why do you need to take your shirt off to poop?

It's defiantly American.

Robo · « **Reply #27 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:52:25 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on August 03, 2012, 05:35:49 PM

why do you need to take your shirt off to poop?

GEORGE: (emerging from bathroom, buttoning his shirt) A gymnast! I can't believe it, you didn't tell me she was a gymnast.
JERRY: (watching George buttoning his shirt) What is this?
GEORGE: What, I'm puttin' my shirt back on.
JERRY: (stares at George, incredulous) "Back on"? What was it doing off?
GEORGE: I take it off when I go to the, uh, y'know, to the "office".
JERRY: (laughing) What for?
GEORGE: Well, it frees me up. No encumbrances.
JERRY: Unbuttoned, or all the way off?
GEORGE: ALL the way, baby!
JERRY: Of course.
. . .
JERRY: (picks up newspaper, turns to George) You always take the shirt off?
GEORGE: Always.
JERRY: Boy, I tell ya', knowing you is like going out in the jungle. I never know what I'm going to find next, and I'm real scared.

demi · « **Reply #28 on:** August 03, 2012, 05:59:43 PM »

Haven't jerked it at work but it definitely isn't out of the question.

Himu · « **Reply #29 on:** August 03, 2012, 06:00:53 PM »

I'm going to assume Larry David does so I'm now I'm going to assume that Green Man and Stealth Fox have some severe form of aspergers

Robo · « **Reply #30 on:** August 03, 2012, 06:03:05 PM »

MrAngryFace · « **Reply #31 on:** August 03, 2012, 06:10:26 PM »

pooping only when your shirt off is kinda weird

fistfulofmetal · « **Reply #32 on:** August 03, 2012, 06:51:01 PM »

i take my pants/underwear off when taking a poo. isn't that pretty common?

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #33 on:** August 03, 2012, 06:58:05 PM »

I shit naked and never at work unless I was getting paid overtime, double time, or triple time.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #34 on:** August 03, 2012, 06:59:55 PM »

Quote from: Stringer Bell on August 03, 2012, 05:35:49 PM

why do you need to take your shirt off to poop?

If I'm home, I like to poop naked. Keeps me nimble.

StealthFan · « **Reply #35 on:** August 03, 2012, 08:34:00 PM »

Shitting naked is where it is at. No encumbrances is right. I need complete comfort while dropping the deuce.

However getting naked in a stall is fucking gross. I keep my shirt on.

TEEEPO · « **Reply #36 on:** August 03, 2012, 08:51:18 PM »

i shit naked and rarely do i not take a shower afterwards.

it's one of the highlights of my day, damn right i'm going to do it not only comfortably, but perfectly.

Groogrux · « **Reply #37 on:** August 03, 2012, 09:48:02 PM »

I've jerked it at work before. Not at my current job because... well it just wouldn't do.

I take a poop at EVERY place I work. Doesn't matter if it's only for a day, it's still getting pooped in by me. I had the pleasure of christening a new Gamestop that I helped put together a few months back. The very one that Jaybo works at now!

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #38 on:** August 03, 2012, 10:24:59 PM »

If you don't feel comfortable pooping at work you might want to get a new one. Popping is an intimate thing, if you can't share that with your work place who can you share it with?

Olivia Wilde Homo · « **Reply #39 on:** August 03, 2012, 10:29:02 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 03, 2012, 10:24:59 PM

If you don't feel comfortable pooping at work you might want to get a new one. Popping is an intimate thing, if you can't share that with your work place who can you share it with?

Because taking a dump is a multifaceted experience and I'd hate to squander some of the experience (such as the post-dump euphoria) in the workplace.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #40 on:** August 04, 2012, 01:07:34 AM »

yall dudes put too much effort into shitting

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #41 on:** August 04, 2012, 01:09:40 AM »

Quote from: Groogrux on August 03, 2012, 09:48:02 PM

I've jerked it at work before. Not at my current job because... well it just wouldn't do.

I take a poop at EVERY place I work. Doesn't matter if it's only for a day, it's still getting pooped in by me. I had the pleasure of christening a new Gamestop that I helped put together a few months back. The very one that Jaybo works at now!

You popped Jaybo's Gamestop's poop cherry?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #42 on:** August 04, 2012, 01:00:21 PM »

I don't think I've ever pooped shirtless. Sounds invigorating

Barry Egan · « **Reply #43 on:** August 04, 2012, 01:07:57 PM »

it's pretty hard for me to go without reading material.

Momo · « **Reply #44 on:** August 04, 2012, 01:12:37 PM »

Quote from: Barry Egan on August 04, 2012, 01:07:57 PM

it's pretty hard for me to go without reading material.

The real reason the iPad sells bazillion units.

Reb · « **Reply #45 on:** August 04, 2012, 01:58:31 PM »

I never understood that, my poops take 30 seconds, a minute tops.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #46 on:** August 04, 2012, 02:18:14 PM »

Ever since I started purchasing portables my poop breaks take at least 30-50 minutes. I'm not exaggerating, people kinda hate me for it. Sometimes they'd hide my devices.

Momo · « **Reply #47 on:** August 04, 2012, 03:43:17 PM »

Quote from: Rebiak on August 04, 2012, 01:58:31 PM

I never understood that, my poops take 30 seconds, a minute tops.

You're not pooping to your full potential. If you sat down for a good 10 minutes you'd find there is more to give.

Reb · « **Reply #48 on:** August 05, 2012, 02:50:21 AM »

Quote from: Momo on August 04, 2012, 03:43:17 PM

Quote from: Rebiak on August 04, 2012, 01:58:31 PM
I never understood that, my poops take 30 seconds, a minute tops.
You're not pooping to your full potential. If you sat down for a good 10 minutes you'd find there is more to give.

You don't know how much I drop dude, it's stunning.

Spurgeon · « **Reply #49 on:** August 05, 2012, 05:34:36 AM »

Reading actually gets things moving faster for me. And it can be anything, like the warning label on an aerosol can. That scene in Kingpin with the fake robber asking Woody Harrelson if he has any Mentadent to read speaks to me.

Groogrux · « **Reply #50 on:** August 05, 2012, 01:15:18 PM »

Quote from: Joe Molotov® EDGE™ on August 04, 2012, 01:09:40 AM

Quote from: Groogrux on August 03, 2012, 09:48:02 PM
I've jerked it at work before. Not at my current job because... well it just wouldn't do.

I take a poop at EVERY place I work. Doesn't matter if it's only for a day, it's still getting pooped in by me. I had the pleasure of christening a new Gamestop that I helped put together a few months back. The very one that Jaybo works at now!

You popped Jaybo's Gamestop's poop cherry?

Quote from: Spurgeon on August 05, 2012, 05:34:36 AM

Reading actually gets things moving faster for me. And it can be anything, like the warning label on an aerosol can. That scene in Kingpin with the fake robber asking Woody Harrelson if he has any Mentadent to read speaks to me.

That's one thing I've never gotten into. I don't read, play games, or any other distracting stuff while I'm pooping. I get in, I poop, and I get out. I know people that can spend anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour per shit, but I never understood it. I guess I'm just a highly efficient shitter.

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Author Topic: If there are people that won't poop at work (Read 6084 times)