Bro! This is gonna be totally sweet, pull down your pants and...

[Human Snorenado]

http://downtown.wbir.com/news/health/45091-ut-student-hospitalized-toxic-bac-level-after-fraternity-incident

Seriously, wtf is it with frat dudes and shoving things up each other's ass?

Reminds me of this... and yes, that's a young Donald Glover/Childish Gambino indulging in some Bro Rape.

[The Sceneman]

my fucking god 

[Phoenix Dark]

Chappelle was right. Never fall asleep around your white friends

[pilonv1]

That's nothing, did you hear what happened to Sceneman?

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/new-zealand-man-seeks-emergency-treatment-eel-lodged-his-

An Auckland man reported to an emergency room this week with an embarassing prediciment: he had an eel stuck up his rump.

The Kiwi man, according to the New Zealand Herald, was sent off for x-rays and a body scan, which revealed (as he had explained) that he did indeed have a rather small eel lodged snugly in his rectum.

According to the Herald, the man was, perhaps understandably, decidely reluctant to reveal how exactly he'd found himself in such a compromising position with a slimy creature.

New Zealand's eels are known for their secretive nature and their fondness for dark and confined spaces, according to New Zealand's Department of Conservation.

They're also considered "legendary climbers," which "have made their way well inland." Extrapolate from that what you will.

"The eel was about the size of a sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place," a hospital representative said to the New Zealand Herald.

"Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that they have got stuck where they shouldn't be before, but an eel has to be a first."

If this story sounds unlikely, it apparantly isn't: the New Zealand Health Board, likely grudgingly, confirmed that this incident indeed took place to the media yesterday, says Metro.co.uk. And probably wishes we'd all shut up about it.

[Human Snorenado]

Chappelle was right. Never fall asleep around your white friends

haha, totally forgot about that bit until now.  Still, definitely true.  We got our friend Alex SO GOOD when he passed out on my couch one night.  He finally woke up when somebody tried to put a paperclip on his nose; he started noticing each terrible thing that had been done to him in turn.  When he realized someone had put a bunch of makeup on him he called us all dicks and stomped off to the bathroom.

Still, that will teach him to eat a bunch of muscle relaxers then drink a shit ton of beer. 

[The Sceneman]

That's nothing, did you hear what happened to Sceneman?

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/new-zealand-man-seeks-emergency-treatment-eel-lodged-his-

An Auckland man reported to an emergency room this week with an embarassing prediciment: he had an eel stuck up his rump.

The Kiwi man, according to the New Zealand Herald, was sent off for x-rays and a body scan, which revealed (as he had explained) that he did indeed have a rather small eel lodged snugly in his rectum.

According to the Herald, the man was, perhaps understandably, decidely reluctant to reveal how exactly he'd found himself in such a compromising position with a slimy creature.

New Zealand's eels are known for their secretive nature and their fondness for dark and confined spaces, according to New Zealand's Department of Conservation.

They're also considered "legendary climbers," which "have made their way well inland." Extrapolate from that what you will.

"The eel was about the size of a sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place," a hospital representative said to the New Zealand Herald.

"Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that they have got stuck where they shouldn't be before, but an eel has to be a first."

If this story sounds unlikely, it apparantly isn't: the New Zealand Health Board, likely grudgingly, confirmed that this incident indeed took place to the media yesterday, says Metro.co.uk. And probably wishes we'd all shut up about it.

my friend got the newspaper headline poster they have outside of Dairies on Sunday. "MAN HAD EEL IN BUM". It's on his bedroom wall now

And yeah typical Aucklander

[Human Snorenado]

New Zealand can't be THAT boring... can it?

[pilonv1]

my friend got the newspaper headline poster they have outside of Dairies on Sunday. "MAN HAD EEL IN BUM". It's on his bedroom wall now

I need a picture of this headline

[Himu]

That's nothing, did you hear what happened to Sceneman?

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/new-zealand-man-seeks-emergency-treatment-eel-lodged-his-

An Auckland man reported to an emergency room this week with an embarassing prediciment: he had an eel stuck up his rump.

The Kiwi man, according to the New Zealand Herald, was sent off for x-rays and a body scan, which revealed (as he had explained) that he did indeed have a rather small eel lodged snugly in his rectum.

According to the Herald, the man was, perhaps understandably, decidely reluctant to reveal how exactly he'd found himself in such a compromising position with a slimy creature.

New Zealand's eels are known for their secretive nature and their fondness for dark and confined spaces, according to New Zealand's Department of Conservation.

They're also considered "legendary climbers," which "have made their way well inland." Extrapolate from that what you will.

"The eel was about the size of a sprig of asparagus and the incident is the talk of the place," a hospital representative said to the New Zealand Herald.

"Doctors and nurses have come across people with strange objects that they have got stuck where they shouldn't be before, but an eel has to be a first."

If this story sounds unlikely, it apparantly isn't: the New Zealand Health Board, likely grudgingly, confirmed that this incident indeed took place to the media yesterday, says Metro.co.uk. And probably wishes we'd all shut up about it.

oh my

[nice cat but chicken]

[Momo]

What's going on h....
















o-o

[pilonv1]

awesome

[Huff]

thats not hazing, thats just butt chugging. similar to vodka eyeballs. just trying to get drunk brah

[Joe Molotov]

thats not hazing, thats just butt chugging. similar to vodka eyeballs. just trying to get drunk brah

You sound like an expert on this topic.

[Robo]

You haven't really lived until you've plugged yer butt with a handle of Vladimir.

[T234]

I would probably stab somebody if they were messing with me while I slept. Repeatedly.

[Arbys Roast Beef Sandwich]

[img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mayeaadZUa1qhsgpyo1_1280.jpg[/]

The Cruncheons.jpg

[pilonv1]

[img]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mayeaadZUa1qhsgpyo1_1280.jpg[/]

The Cruncheons.jpg

[benjipwns]

[Momo]

oh god, he is a STRAIGHT MAN!! Cannot be associated with THE GAYS and THE BUTT CHUGGING. SHAME ON YOU.

The big thing he takes out of this is people called him gay? srsly? wtf humans.

[nice cat but chicken]

i'm sorry i was only 3 minutes through but they really wrote this to incorporate "butt chugging" as much as possible
and how pathetic is this guy that he needs to refute any allegations of homosexuality in the official press release?
edit: oh hehe momo, you totally covered this

[nice cat but chicken]

how did the press not press him on "it's a long story"?
i'm so sure that's a long story i would have no problem listening to

[Joe Molotov]

Dorky white-haired guy in a suit and bow-tie talking about butt chugging? Well my day's already complete!

[Phoenix Dark]

Come on, if you took a loss of this magnitude you would have to defend your straightness to some degree. Personally whenever someone denies being gay without being asked...they're probably gay. Therefore if I was him I'd instead release a statement more believable. Like say "I am recovering well with the help of my girlfriend and parents." No one would think twice if his statement included that line

[Joe Molotov]

When he says "Y-You guys need to tell the truth, I'm totally not gay and I've never done butt-chugging, I'm gonna sue!!!!" it makes me think that he is both gay and has done butt-chugging.

[Reb]

He probably butt-chugs a lot of male penis

[Momo]

Female penis exists?

[Phoenix Dark]

Female penis exists?

female is only a state of mind, stop putting sex in a box. cis privilege

[Tasty]

[chronovore]

Female penis exists?

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

[Spurgeon]

The butt-chugger doth protest too much, methinks.

If eligible, butt-chugging should be the American Dialect Society's word of the year.