Let us retire to my study, sip brandy and cast aspersions upon Honey Boo Boo

[Human Snorenado]

Quite rly

[Great Rumbler]

Good show, old boy.

[Stoney Mason]

[Joe Molotov]

Obama saw that right before he decided to repeal DADT.

[Phoenix Dark]

I had no idea what this shit was for ages. I'd just see headlines about it being super popular and I'd just ignore it; basically, the same way I managed to avoid hearing Call Me Maybe for months. Then I saw the video about her "go go juice" and wanted to call child protective services. Her mouth must be full of cavities

And today I saw that fucking buttah and ketchup video. I've seen some ghetto and country shit in my lifetime, but nothing like this

[pilonv1]

Human Thumb

[lennedsay]

Dudes.... Dat forklift foot... Old girl had gnats coming out of her toenail.

And the new baby has three thumbs!

I can't even

[Stoney Mason]

TLC Producer Wants List Of 100 Fucked-Up Families On Desk By End Of Day



SILVER SPRING, MD—Saying that he didn’t “give two shits” if they had to knock on the door of every trailer and halfway house in the country, TLC producer and programming director Mark Livingston reportedly told his staffers Friday that he expects to see a list of at least 100 fucked-up families on his desk by the end of the workday. “We’re up shit creek right now, so I need each one of you assholes rooting through every gutter in the goddamn Ozarks to find me a household of inbreds, addicts, or fat-as-fuck morons that we can put in primetime,” a visibly aggravated Livingston said to his staff following the cancellation of the network’s popular Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, stressing that the new families had better be “borderline brain-dead” and “messed up as all fuck.” “If they have 20 dipshit kids, that’s great. If they only have one greasy dimwit kid who can barely string a sentence together, that’ll work too. Hell, you get me some snarl-toothed family of backwoods idiots who all call their dad Papa Pig or some shit like that, and I’ll sign them immediately. Just find me some family of sewer people I can throw in front of the goddamn camera, got it?” At press time, Livingston was angrily telling his staffers that they could all find a new job wiping asses at the Disney Channel if they brought him one more suggestion for a morbidly obese teen mother.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/tlc-producer-wants-list-of-100-fuckedup-families-o,37282/

[Kara]

theboredotcom.flv

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm bummed. So now when militant black acquaintances of mine hand wring and say "you'd never see a show on television that embarrasses white people" I can't give them the 

[nudemacusers]

At least she isn't a Jew 

[Human Snorenado]

I only read the title before looking at the OP and was all, "Damn, that's an awesome thread title right there."

 

[Tribal]

Lol. A 9yr old and her distinguished mentally-challenged fellow family have made more money than any of you homos will ever earn. Think about that the next time you're all begging outside the gloryhole.

[CatsCatsCats]

Lol. A 9yr old and her distinguished mentally-challenged fellow family have made more money than any of you homos will ever earn. Think about that the next time you're all begging outside the gloryhole.

Who invited this fuck to our party?

[Great Rumbler]

Reality TV really can't die fast enough. I can't think of a trend in TV that so viciously lashes at the human mind, I'd take a move back to CAC-heavy sitcoms over that garbage any day of the week.

[Great Rumbler]

Oh, and to go along with Honey Boo Boo being canceled because of potential child abuse:

Another family from the reality TV series Sons of Guns is facing charges of child abuse.

According to New Orleans Fox affiliate Channel 8, Kristafor Ford and his wife Stephanie Hayden were arrested on Friday for beating a 9-year-old boy with a belt hard enough to leave severe bruises on his buttocks and upper legs.

Ford is charged with administering the beating while Hayden, the boy’s mother, stood by and watched. Ford is the boy’s stepfather.

Red Jacket’s founder and star of the reality show, Will Hayden, was arrested and charged with the rape of his 11-year-old daughter in August. In September, another woman came forward and accused Hayden of raping her when she was 12 years old.

Put human garbage on TV, brehs.

[Great Rumbler]

And there's this:

Actual reality -- which is waaay different from TV reality -- is the Bush People getting busted on charges of falsely filing for Alaska Permanent Fund Dividends. And never mind what people can get away with on that phonied up "Alaska State Troopers" show; there are some realities Alaskans take seriously. Lying about living in Alaska in order to collect a PFD is one of those realities.

This is the crime of which six members of the Brown family -- better know as simply the "Bush People" -- stand accused. A Juneau grand jury indicted chief Bush Person Billy Brown and children Amora, Snowbird, Joshua, Bam-Bam, Solomon, Gabriel and Noah on multiple counts of second-degree theft and unsworn falsification for fibbing on their PFD applications.

[Great Rumbler]

And this:

Blood, Sweat and Heels star Geneva Thomas went from reality TV crazy to so crazy you're getting arrested during filming for the show in New York.

She was apparently on a boat when she got into an argument with another woman. And that's when she took a bottle and hit the other woman on the head with it.

[Great Rumbler]

And this:

Turns out reality bites for Teresa Giudice – at least for nearly the next year and a half. Today the long time Real Housewives of New Jersey star was handed 15 months in prison by a federal judge on multiple fraud charges that she pleaded guilty to earlier this year.

[Joe Molotov]

It's sad that the only thing that can get a reality show cancelled (besides crap ratings, obv) is getting too real. If Honey Boo Boo's new season was about her trying to escape the horrors of her child molester stepdad, or Sarah Palin's Alaska had been about Track and Bristol getting drunk and fighting the neighbors, now that would be some legit reality tv.

[Kara]

Lol. A 9yr old and her distinguished mentally-challenged fellow family have made more money than any of you homos will ever earn. Think about that the next time you're all begging outside the gloryhole.

Knowing what happens to child stars (especially ones so young), she probably won't see a dime of it and be just as worthless as the rest of us.

[Joe Molotov]

Lol. A 9yr old and her distinguished mentally-challenged fellow family have made more money than any of you homos will ever earn. Think about that the next time you're all begging outside the gloryhole.

Knowing what happens to child stars (especially ones so young), she probably won't see a dime of it and be just as worthless as the rest of us.

Yep, her mom will have burned through all that sweet, sweet TLC money living hillbilly deluxe long before she hits 18 and is in desperate need of therapy, and none of us homos had to get whored out to toddler meat markets to end up the broken people we are now.

[Kara]

I was also joking about our own exploitation as members of the proletariat.

[Joe Molotov]

joke about child exploitation in order to return a shot at a throwaway poster brehs (Image removed from quote.)

Nah, it's all cool, breh.

"Supporting the health and welfare of these remarkable children is our only priority.  TLC is faithfully committed to the children's ongoing comfort and well-being." Our sources say the network will pay for tutors and counselors for the kids.

[benjipwns]

Honey Boo Boo will have a more successful life than Meghan McCain.

Book it.

I'm bummed. So now when militant black acquaintances of mine hand wring and say "you'd never see a show on television that embarrasses white people" I can't give them the 

DANCE. MOMS.

[HyperZoneWasAwesome]

what, Friends doesn't count?  That ain't even reality TV and that embarrasses the shit outta me.

[Human Snorenado]

http://www.vulture.com/2014/10/mama-junes-daughter-was-the-molestation-victim.html

[Great Rumbler]

 

[Rufus]

Witless cunt.

[Joe Molotov]

Was just reading that one of the other baby daddies is currently in prison for child molestation.

[Human Snorenado]

Apparently TLC did zero research on the family

Ugh, just ugh

[lennedsay]

Omg Jesus. Wtf is wrong with people. That family is a child predator's dream.

[nudemacusers]

I didn't realize it was possible for this to be more gross. Ew.

[Brehvolution]

I'm not sure why the big surprise. Anyone who could stomach watching an episode would see mama June was a few cents shy of a nickel and the men she hung with were very special. These weren't your garden variety redneck dumbfucks. They called SPAM "special ham" and ate it from the can as a treat ffs.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Who among us actually ever watched this show? I have not seen even a minute of this crap.

[nudemacusers]

i think i bailed when they ate that weird spaghetti and she made that go go juice. so... 6 minutes?

[Great Rumbler]

i think i bailed when they ate that weird spaghetti and she made that go go juice. so... 6 minutes?

I bailed one second into the first preview.

[Human Snorenado]

I've only ever seen clips, and of those could only make it about 30 seconds through any of them.

We should totally make Karakand watch the entirety of this show...

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I've only ever seen clips, and of those could only make it about 30 seconds through any of them.

We should totally make Karakand watch the entirety of this show...

I fully support and endorse this idea.

[I'm a Puppy!]

My God it'd be beautiful.
It'd be like taking Bach and making him write about listening to One Direction.

[Brehvolution]

I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Blossom is bad enough, but it's far more tolerable than honey boo boo.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Blossom is bad enough, but it's far more tolerable than honey boo boo.

Yes but the written word he could make about this show would be epic. I dare say, legendary.

[Brehvolution]

I implore you to watch 5 minutes of any episode. You will laugh your ass off, seriously. Not because it's funny. Because you can't believe people willingly live like that because they don't know any better.

[nudemacusers]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/13/mama-june-lauryn-father_n_6154308.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

"do you believe he molested your daughter?"

"I do  believe, you know, something happened"

"You did not read these court documents?"

"I did not"

"I told her not to bring up the past again, it would be hard for me"



way to be a z grade mom.

[Great Rumbler]

But Shannon recently revealed that Lauryn's biological father is Michael Anthony Ford, who also fathered Shannon's 18-year-old daughter, Jessica. Ford served two years in prison for the sexual exploitation of a child over the Internet after being caught on "To Catch a Predator" in 2005.

 

[Brehvolution]

It would take a certain level of sicko to get with mama June to no one's surprise.

[Kara]

But Shannon recently revealed that Lauryn's biological father is Michael Anthony Ford, who also fathered Shannon's 18-year-old daughter, Jessica. Ford served two years in prison for the sexual exploitation of a child over the Internet after being caught on "To Catch a Predator" in 2005.

 

Virgin-GAF annihilated.

[Joe Molotov]

Sometimes it's hard to remember which convicted child sex offender father which of your children.