Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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YES
Drank a little gin+minute maid but not enough to get drunk since I got a fucking class this morning
Just kidding, that's never happened to me with my girlfriend. I bet it sucks, though.