The black man's burden

[Phoenix Dark]

Today I was at Applebees with someone and was faced with a dilemma that went to the core of my being: my waitress was shitty. I could tell almost immediately that she wasn't enthused to be serving me. For instance she forgot to bring me some sauce that came with my meal, then didn't even come close to our table for like 10 minutes; it was clear she had an attitude. She never refilled my drink unless I asked her too either, and when it came time for the bill she took like 10 minutes before casually throwing it on the desk without a word. In short, she figured I wasn't going to tip her anyway so why give a shit. The place wasn't even crowded so there was no excuse.

You might be saying "PD, if I was you I wouldn't give her a tip, then I'd ask to see the manager." That may seem logical to some, but you are overlooking a very important factor here: the black man's burden. If I didn't tip she would simply think "oh look I was right, another black person who doesn't tip." And thus the cycle would continue: I would be passing that burden to the next black man to bear, instead of bearing it myself and overcoming that shit. That's what black excellence is about. I gave her a 20% tip not because I wanted to or because she deserved it, but because maybe - just maybe - the next black guy who receives her service will get treated better because of my good work. And in turn he'll give a good tip, making her even more receptive to serving black people. And in time we would have built up enough black excellence in the food service community that this tipping stereotype will no longer exist.

We enter life a couple touchdowns behind, and thus have to over perform just to get ahead. Why do you think hyper tension and heart disease are so prevalent within the black community? Because this is a heavy burden to carry, and not everyone is up to the task; and even those that are will die before their time because of the pressure. There are only so many tips you can give, so much medium rare meat you can order, and so much baseball you can watch instead of football before the burden becomes too heavy and you die of a heart attack at 53.

I know what I did to preserve and pass on black excellence today. What did you do today, Himu/Beezy/Green Man?

[Joe Molotov]

You should have left a penny tip and wrote "u suk" on the receipt so she would know you were purposefully not leaving a tip because she sucked.

[Positive Touch]

you should have just put "racist" on the bill to ruin her night

also lol you gave money to an asshole

[ToxicAdam]

How do you know she just wasn't in shit mood because the place was dead and her boss won't cut her loose to get back to her home? Thats usually why service industry people are in shit moods.

[Phoenix Dark]

How do you know she just wasn't in shit mood because the place was dead and her boss won't cut her loose to get back to her home? Thats usually why service industry people are in shit moods.

Because I've dealt with waitresses and delivery people before who clearly were less than enthused could seeing me. I've been to enough restaurants to tell when someone is just tired or stressed. This woman - mid thirties I'm guessing - clearly didn't give a shit and wanted me to know.

[Great Rumbler]

"Here's two bucks, doll face, 'cause that's all your worth."

[Human Snorenado]

You should carry around 8" x 11" glossies of your cawk and give them out when that shit happens

[Momo]

this was your chance to take creepshots without feeling remorse, you blew it.

[Yeti]

All you have done is rewarded her for her racism. And possibly instilled a Pavlovian response in her to treat other black customers poorly through your positive reinforcement. You should have taken a rolled up newspaper menu and swatted her on the nose after each act of insolence.

[Madrun Badrun]

[headwalk]

"i tell ya, doesn't matter what a bitch i am, those black guys will try anything to get my number."

[Eel O'Brian]

hahaha, you ate at applebee's

[Human Snorenado]

hahaha, you ate at applebee's

 

It's no Olive Garden, for sure.

[Phoenix Dark]

Her choice not mine. Not a big fan of Applebees

The burden of taking one for the team is not being appreciated

[headwalk]

you could've just shown her your tiny penis.

[D3RANG3D]

Wait so this isn't about white women

[pilonv1]

Wait so this isn't about white women

glad I wasn't the only one who assumed this

[T234]

Today I was at Applebees with someone and was faced with a dilemma that went to the core of my being: my waitress was shitty. I could tell almost immediately that she wasn't enthused to be serving me. For instance she forgot to bring me some sauce that came with my meal, then didn't even come close to our table for like 10 minutes; it was clear she had an attitude. She never refilled my drink unless I asked her too either, and when it came time for the bill she took like 10 minutes before casually throwing it on the desk without a word. In short, she figured I wasn't going to tip her anyway so why give a shit. The place wasn't even crowded so there was no excuse.

You might be saying "PD, if I was you I wouldn't give her a tip, then I'd ask to see the manager." That may seem logical to some, but you are overlooking a very important factor here: the black man's burden. If I didn't tip she would simply think "oh look I was right, another black person who doesn't tip." And thus the cycle would continue: I would be passing that burden to the next black man to bear, instead of bearing it myself and overcoming that shit. That's what black excellence is about. I gave her a 20% tip not because I wanted to or because she deserved it, but because maybe - just maybe - the next black guy who receives her service will get treated better because of my good work. And in turn he'll give a good tip, making her even more receptive to serving black people. And in time we would have built up enough black excellence in the food service community that this tipping stereotype will no longer exist.

We enter life a couple touchdowns behind, and thus have to over perform just to get ahead. Why do you think hyper tension and heart disease are so prevalent within the black community? Because this is a heavy burden to carry, and not everyone is up to the task; and even those that are will die before their time because of the pressure. There are only so many tips you can give, so much medium rare meat you can order, and so much baseball you can watch instead of football before the burden becomes too heavy and you die of a heart attack at 53.

I know what I did to preserve and pass on black excellence today. What did you do today, Himu/Beezy/Green Man?

I can't stand watching baseball. I actually prefer basketball over both sports.

[Beezy]

Today I was at Applebees with someone

stealth brag thread

I know what I did to preserve and pass on black excellence today. What did you do today, Himu/Beezy/Green Man?

[ToxicAdam]

It's no Olive Garden, for sure.

#gamechanger

[MyNameIsMethodis]

shouldve told her she works for tips cuz no one will stick the full thing in like triumph comic dog did to those black girls that one time

[Momo]

Wait so this isn't about white women

  glad I wasn't the only one who assumed this

Need clarity :  Is this about white women?

[Dickie Dee]

I'm like that whenever I order Pad Thai as if that's the only Thai dish I know. Sometimes a foo just wants some Pad Thai.

[Diunx]

Last tine I tipped the chick gave me back the tip because of how miserable it was, true story

[Cerveza mas fina]

PD if she is a crappy waitress she is used to not getting tips.

[Great Rumbler]

Last tine I tipped the chick gave me back the tip because of how miserable it was, true story

The tip was so small that she figured you needed the money more than her.

[bork]

A 20% tip for shitty service?   Nothing you mentioned made it sound like race had anything to do with it.  She was just a shitty waitress.  Working at a shitty restaurant.

[Brehvolution]

So what did you order to eat?

[brawndolicious]

Leave a good tip but before you leave, just tell her your theory of the black man's burden. You'll at least get a good laugh out of it.

you should have just put "racist" on the bill to ruin her night

also lol you gave money to an asshole

What if it was a black waitress?

[Himu]

Today I went to Jack in the Box in the ghetto, and saw some homeless man walk in. He needed money, so someone him enough for a meal. I think he was out of it, because he'd stand over the trash can and just guzzle his french fries down like they're soda. Then he's go sit next to someone in the place, then  look at em for a bit, and then went to a different spot to sit and did this repeatedly. So anyways, a white couple comes in, this shop's customers right now are 95% black, they look around a bit, stare at the homeless guy with his towel, and then walk out.

[Himu]

I know what you mean when you give tip NO MATTER WHAT, PD. I always do so. The other day I went to Outback Steakhouse with a group and they're like,"this service is shitty, let's not tip" so I rebuke,"NO, WE'RE TIPPING. IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TIP, I'M GONNA TIP. I DON'T WANT NO ONE TO JUDGE ME" so they looked at me funny and we shared the tip.

But they're right, that was some real shitty food, but I hadn't eaten all day so whatever.

Hoping Key and Peele make a sketch on the Tip Burden (tm).

[Beezy]

I know what you mean when you give tip NO MATTER WHAT, PD. I always do so. The other day I went to Outback Steakhouse with a group and they're like,"this service is shitty, let's not tip" so I rebuke,"NO, WE'RE TIPPING. IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TIP, I'M GONNA TIP. I DON'T WANT NO ONE TO JUDGE ME" so they looked at me funny and we shared the tip.

But they're right, that was some real shitty food, but I hadn't eaten all day so whatever.

Hoping Key and Peele make a sketch on the Tip Burden (tm).

Fuck that. Shitty service? No tip. Shitty food? No tip unless the waiter/waitress has been ok and apologizes about the food. Go ahead and label me as a shitty black tipper. I don't owe you shit and I'll never see you again anyway.

[Himu]

I know what you mean when you give tip NO MATTER WHAT, PD. I always do so. The other day I went to Outback Steakhouse with a group and they're like,"this service is shitty, let's not tip" so I rebuke,"NO, WE'RE TIPPING. IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TIP, I'M GONNA TIP. I DON'T WANT NO ONE TO JUDGE ME" so they looked at me funny and we shared the tip.

But they're right, that was some real shitty food, but I hadn't eaten all day so whatever.

Hoping Key and Peele make a sketch on the Tip Burden (tm).

Fuck that. Shitty service? No tip. Shitty food? No tip. Go ahead and label me as a shitty black tipper. I don't owe you shit and I'll never see you again anyway.

[Robo]

Fuck that. Shitty service? No tip. Shitty food? No tip unless the waiter/waitress has been ok and apologizes about the food. Go ahead and label me as a shitty black tipper. I don't owe you shit and I'll never see you again anyway.

so real 

[FlameofCallandorReturns]

Just be cheap consistently, thats what I do.

 10% every time.

[tiesto]

I do this as well because Asians usually tip like shit. gotta overturn stereotypes.....

You're asian?

Indian, but it applies here, yeah

As a whitey, I love going to eat at Indian and Asian restaurants and getting waited on like a king b/c they think I will tip good (I usually double NYS tax so 17.5%).

[Phoenix Dark]

Beezy my brother I love you but I can only carry your responsibilities for so long before I die. Sooner or later you'll be held responsible for your actions, and I'm just trying to get you back on track with black excellence. If I saw you walking down the street right now I wouldn't give you a black man nod, because you haven't earned it. That nod is in recognition of black excellence, of being able to look a man in his soul and say " I see you brother. Oh, you ate your vegetables today? That's black excellence. Oh, is that a Subway napkin in your back pocket? That's black excellence."

[Beezy]

Beezy my brother I love you but I can only carry your responsibilities for so long before I die. Sooner or later you'll be held responsible for your actions, and I'm just trying to get you back on track with black excellence. If I saw you walking down the street right now I wouldn't give you a black man nod, because you haven't earned it. That nod is in recognition of black excellence, of being able to look a man in his soul and say " I see you brother. Oh, you ate your vegetables today? That's black excellence. Oh, is that a Subway napkin in your back pocket? That's black excellence."

[Himu]

Beezy my brother I love you but I can only carry your responsibilities for so long before I die. Sooner or later you'll be held responsible for your actions, and I'm just trying to get you back on track with black excellence. If I saw you walking down the street right now I wouldn't give you a black man nod, because you haven't earned it. That nod is in recognition of black excellence, of being able to look a man in his soul and say " I see you brother. Oh, you ate your vegetables today? That's black excellence. Oh, is that a Subway napkin in your back pocket? That's black excellence."

[Purple Filth]

I know what I did to preserve and pass on black excellence today. What did you do today, Himu/Beezy/Green Man?

and here i was just gonna post asking if Green Man was really black 

[Diunx]

Beezy my brother I love you but I can only carry your responsibilities for so long before I die. Sooner or later you'll be held responsible for your actions, and I'm just trying to get you back on track with black excellence. If I saw you walking down the street right now I wouldn't give you a black man nod, because you haven't earned it. That nod is in recognition of black excellence, of being able to look a man in his soul and say " I see you brother. Oh, you ate your vegetables today? That's black excellence. Oh, is that a Subway napkin in your back pocket? That's black excellence."

[Himu]

I know what I did to preserve and pass on black excellence today. What did you do today, Himu/Beezy/Green Man?

and here i was just gonna post asking if Green Man was really black 

I understand the hardships that many black people go through. Moreso than most white people

how so? i love a good story

[Lan]

I get this treatment as well. Usually its a nasty person who treats me this way. Normal folks with no "hang ups" about serving people give me good service.

I still tip the nasty waiters well. I usually tip 20% or over (my fam and friends taught me well.) Usually when the waiter finds out how much I have tipped, they  have a shocked look on their face. Yeah, I'd be shocked too if I knew I was giving terrible service and got a really good tip as well.

I once walked into a pizza place and asked for a copy of the menu to keep so when I feel like pizza I can grab the menu and order. As soon as I asked, the woman behind the counter told me "It might be a little too expensive." I said thank you and walked out. I opened the menu and the prices are tame. I then knew she was stereotyping me, but she was hispanic so I was confused by her treating me that way.

Moral is that some people suck, some don't.

Oh, and racism doesn't exist anymore cause we gots us a black president. 

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I once tipped a waitress who provided abhorrently shitty service one penny.  I usually tip generously if I get good service (20%+)

[Lan]

also I'd rather eat at iHop than Applebee's its rather ghetto if I do say so myself. 

[Brehvolution]

Oh, and racism doesn't exist anymore cause we gots us a black president. 

Not for much longer. 

[Himu]

Huh? I wasn't offended, I genuinely wanted to know.

[Yeti]

If a non-black person were to have a Subway napkin in their back pocket, would they still be able to receive that napkin's qualties of black excellence? Or would it be like a hobbit trying to equip a battleaxe, and instead of getting a +6 to STR they just become over encumbered?

[lennedsay]

I used to get stereotyped as a shit tipper because I looked so young. Now we get stereotyped because we have a kid. When we get super shit service, I always give 20% because I want to prove that I'm not a cheap ass, but my husband ends up writing something sarcastic on the credit card slip or the napkin.

"Thanks for the great service...?"

[chronovore]

I used to get stereotyped as a shit tipper because I looked so young. Now we get stereotyped because we have a kid. When we get super shit service, I always give 20% because I want to prove that I'm not a cheap ass, but my husband ends up writing something sarcastic on the credit card slip or the napkin.

"Thanks for the great service...?"

I agree with your husband's approach. It's the waiter's job to provide service, not your husband's job to be a great customer.

[Phoenix Dark]

Huh? I wasn't offended, I genuinely wanted to know.

Whenever this conversation comes up people always take it the wrong way, so I assume the worse.

I see where you're coming from, and respect it 100%. To me it makes far more sense than the argument some people make that they like "black" culture more than "white" culture, listen to rap, etc and therefore are kind of black.

[Boogie]

I will never reward bad behaviour.

Shitty service = shitty tip.

Good service = good tip.

[Himu]

END BLACK TIPPING DISCRIMINATION

Tip even if they feed you shit!

Show black excellence!

[chronovore]

Wait, what? Did Biz just play the "you people" card? Was it ironic? I am lost!

[CajoleJuice]

Just be cheap consistently, thats what I do.

 10% every time.

you're a piece of shit

[Beezy]

Just be cheap consistently, thats what I do.

 10% every time.

you're a piece of shit

I love this thread

[Diunx]

Isn't 10% the standard? 20% is overtipping imo, but I don't live in a tipping country so what the fuck do I know!

[Atramental]

I try to avoid places where tipping is expected.

a.k.a. I don't go out much.

[BlackMage]

MY black man burden usually involves the waiter/waitress putting the bill closer to my asian friends after a meal.  WTF IS THAT ABOUT? 

[Robo]

I don't understand the pocket Subway napkin.  Why don't you just buy your own napkins?  Those are for customers only.