Those of us from rural south know how to handle toilet paper shortage. Eat more corn on the cob! The corn isn't important, but the cobs are free and work great! (Just don't flush them!) You're welcome!
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congratulations! now put it in her bum.
The wedding, ugh, we have to choose between 4 countries (yes fucking 4 countries). Since we both live in Ireland but are from Poland/Holland/Denmark.