Pregnancy freaks me the fuck out.

[Verdigris Murder]

The next child is due early feb, and she's upstairs with a temperature of 101.7. Just as long as its not downs, gay or black eh guys?

[archnemesis]

Congratulations?

[Verdigris Murder]

Hurray. Less time to play computer games morelike!

Nah it's cool. But I did actually seriously worry enough to call NHS direct, they seem to employ clueless flow-chart following monkeys. I pay tax for what.

[G The Resurrected]

Zombie baby!

Seriously I hope she is well. That's a pretty high temperature. This is your second one? How was the first one like? Did it flip your world upside down or was it a gradual change of lifestyle for you? Lots of people I've known that have had kids say its like a earthquake rattles everything in their life changing it forever and not for the best. I'm not jaded about kids though, and have been trying with the missus for a long while now unsuccessfully.

[Verdigris Murder]

Try feeding her it on a spoon, worked for me. Hilarious jokes aside.

It's awesome, but wave goodbye to fucking on the kitchen floor, or anywhere else for that matter. The kitchen floor is also a nono if you own a dog.

[DCharlieJP]

Hurray. Less time to play computer games morelike!

Nah it's cool. But I did actually seriously worry enough to call NHS direct, they seem to employ clueless flow-chart following monkeys. I pay tax for what.

I went on the UK NHS self help site when i had a mouth ulcer and the first response it came back with was "congrats, you have the HIVs!"


Congrats on your kid/free time suicide - i'm there for no.2 in 11 days :O  Wife has been in hospital since september and, yeah, pregnancy sucks - single parenting is hard.

[Verdigris Murder]

She's been in hospital since September and she's nearly due?

[Verdigris Murder]

Also single parenting days used to suck, until we discovered Numberland! And you have to actually plug the toys into a PC so you can download their free malware.

[DCharlieJP]

She's been in hospital since September and she's nearly due?

yup - pretty disasterous pregnancy from start to finish all be told. Due in 11 days :O

[T234]

I don't make enough money to take my dick outta mah pants, but congratulations I reckon.

[Verdigris Murder]

She's been in hospital since September and she's nearly due?

yup - pretty disasterous pregnancy from start to finish all be told. Due in 11 days :O

Ours has too, but less intense than yours. Tbh it's not so great airing stuff like this.

I've just asked Deli to lock this thread.

[Verdigris Murder]

I just quickly asked Demi to unlock it again.

Dcgharilep. I can't send you a pm. Wtf dude......and that tumbleweed bit you get with jrpgs.

[Verdigris Murder]

There must be a few more members here who are parents. Oscar, Steve, Cowbell etc.

[brawndolicious]

I thought Martin was TVC?

[nudemacusers]

you should watch the pregnancy, your wife's vagina will resemble something like this:


oh and no matter what she asks she never pooped.

have fun!

[DCharlieJP]

Dcgharilep. I can't send you a pm. Wtf dude......and that tumbleweed bit you get with jrpgs

let me check why - not sure i had an issue with my inbox

weird - i was fine - i'll pm you and see if that works

[Human Snorenado]

I have to be honest- I can't seriously see myself ever even being involved with another woman who wants children.  The entire process seems like something out of a Kafka book.  NOT COOL.

[DCharlieJP]

I have to be honest- I can't seriously see myself ever even being involved with another woman who wants children.  The entire process seems like something out of a Kafka book.  NOT COOL.

Pregnancy sex... like humping a cocooned Alien victim except it's YOU who starts crying and saying "pleaase.... kiiiill meeeee...." when your wife is about to release the parasite

[brawndolicious]

I have to be honest- I can't seriously see myself ever even being involved with another woman who wants children.  The entire process seems like something out of a Kafka book.  NOT COOL.

Pregnancy sex... like humping a cocooned Alien victim except it's YOU who starts crying and saying "pleaase.... kiiiill meeeee...." when your wife is about to release the parasite

and one day, your child will find this

[DCharlieJP]

and one day, your child will find this

i know - this is why i have to missing in the digital realm at some point before it's too late - so i can scrub any connection between my shitty online persona and my shitty real life one.

[Joe Molotov]

and one day, your child will find this

i know - this is why i have to missing in the digital realm at some point before it's too late - so i can scrub any connection between my shitty online persona and my shitty real life one.

Or you can choose the Synthesis ending.

[nudemacusers]

I have to be honest- I can't seriously see myself ever even being involved with another woman who wants children.  The entire process seems like something out of a Kafka book.  NOT COOL.

Pregnancy sex... like humping a cocooned Alien victim except it's YOU who starts crying and saying "pleaase.... kiiiill meeeee...." when your wife is about to release the parasite

Being kicked by your unborn son while having sex is creepy and a boner killer... But you try not to let that stop you 

[chronovore]

I've got two kids; pregnancy was no fun either time, and the first year is... incredibly difficult. After that, thinks improve, and nothing has ever made me as happy or fulfilled as being a parent.