Mystery Box of Chocolates - Do you face it like a man?

[ToxicAdam]

Tis the season of random people/salespeople/relatives gifting us a box of random chocolates. Are you a man and actually bite into all of them, unafraid of the menace that potentially lurks inside? Or do you break them apart and inspect them like a weak person afraid of uncertainty? Or are you even more of a coward and just take the ones that you are sure of?

Now, time to take a bite .... . arrghjhh ... orange mystery filling!!! argghjhk

[Himu]

That's the fun of a box of choclates. Who doesn't eat the entire box?

[nudemacusers]

If I'm worried about poor tasting chocolates mixed in with delicious ones I've found the best strategy is to eat the entire box thus ensuring at a minimum a decent taste experience.

[Phoenix Dark]

I always fail when trying to figure out which ones aren't dark chocolate. God I hate that shit 

[Himu]

I always fail when trying to figure out which ones aren't dark chocolate. God I hate that shit 

stone this man

[Bacchus7]

Yeah, I only eat the dark ones

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm not talking about regular chocolate, I'm talking about dark chocolate: that bitter shit.

[nudemacusers]

I'm not talking about regular chocolate, I'm talking about dark chocolate: that bitter shit.

you better be talking about some 90% cacao shit or there is gonna be trouble

[archnemesis]

I stopped being a picky eater a few years ago. 76% is about the right amount.

[Himu]

I'm not talking about regular chocolate, I'm talking about dark chocolate: that bitter shit.

dark chocolate IS regular chocolate

[ToxicAdam]

Is there some racial subtext I am missing here? I've seen a lot of Spike Lee movies, I know things about this issue.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Hipster subtext.

[etiolate]

I do sniff tests to check for that nasty cherry filling before taking a bite. You can normally smell it in them.

[recursivelyenumerable]

And yes, I shove them into my mouth all at once and eat them.

[Steve Contra]

Yeah, I only eat the dark ones

Me too.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

I also like my chocolates dark

[close]

[nudemacusers]

Is there some racial subtext I am missing here? I've seen a lot of Spike Lee movies, I know things about this issue.

you would never see white chocolate boxed up and sold as a cheap commodity.

[Great Rumbler]

Dark chocolate is BOSS.

[CrystalGemini]

I cut them in half.  Problem solved?



Also dark chocolate = the only chocolate

[etiolate]

I appreciate all chocolates.

[Reb]

I face it like a woman and eat it all within an hour of receiving them.

[Beezy]

I will spit a coconut one right into the garbage.

[Himu]

I face it like a woman and eat it all within an hour of receiving them.

my nicca

[Human Snorenado]

I face it like a woman and eat it all within an hour of receiving them.

Do you then spend the rest of the night crying because you're fat?  Just kidding ladies!  I'm single

[Eel O'Brian]

it's free candy, of course i eat it

all of it

right in front of everyone else

[Barry Egan]

if I ever get one from somebody, sure  :'(

[Don Flamenco]

i push them all in with my finger, eat the ones I want, then throw them on the floor to let the people who own the house know I got in there. 

[Eel O'Brian]

[nudemacusers]

if I ever get one from somebody, sure  :'(

maybe you'll get a christmas miracle....

spoiler (click to show/hide)

i'm not buying you shit  :'(

[close]

[Reb]

it's free candy, of course i eat it

all of it

right in front of everyone else

Sounds like some delicious sundae.

[G The Resurrected]

So two Christmas' ago I got a secret santa gift from work that contained a box of see's candies. On the side it said "soft centers". When I went to go and try one of the "soft centers" I bit down on a cement like candy that broke both of my back molars. I had to have two root canal's and two crowns placed on them.

I still to this day dread a box of candies I haven't chosen. I received a 2lb box this year from some family and I'll pick at a few pieces. But in reality the nasty ass flavors of the fruit filled chocolates. Plus the fear of breaking/chipping another tooth have me in fear for my life!

Fuck your mystery box of chocolates!

Also I hate it when your nose lies to you about whats inside. I was using the smell method to determine what was inside, but that doesn't work all the time. It smelled like nuts but ended up being strawberry blah.

[Yeti]

For the pussies there is usually a legend on either the back of the box or inside the lid. But I eat my chocolates like A MAN.

[Dickie Dee]

some of that shit got cherries in it

[Huff]

the cherry ones are pretty obvious and easy to avoid. im cool with the rest.

[Barry Egan]

My weekend manager once bought me an entire box of those cherry chocolates  .

[Bebpo]

They are all good to me, but then I fucking love chocolate!

[Yeti]

some of that shit got cherries in it

That just adds a thrill.

[headwalk]

i'm not going to ride that free shit slip n' slide. i've seen glengarry glen ross. one minute you're being handed free candy, the next you part own a time share full of flamingos and broken dreams.

[Yeti]

fuck you guys. I like cherry chocolates.

I like cherries, I like chocolotes, I even like cherry cordials. I don't care for the cherry "creme" filled chocolotes in those assorted chocolate boxes.

[Groogrux]

All this talk about boxes of chocolates AND NOT ONE SINGLE FORREST GUMP COMMENT?

What the hell is the matter with you guys?

[ToxicAdam]

We have good taste in movies?

[Groogrux]

We have good taste in movies?

Well then I guess you never do know what you're going to get...

[CrystalGemini]

Just bought these for a wedding today.  It's a gift but the owner is always super enthusiastic about handing out samples so I got to try just about all of them.

[ToxicAdam]

I'd avoid the one that has menstrual blood on it.