Pope Benedict XVI: "Fuck this shit, I'm out."

[Don Flamenco]

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/12/world/europe/pope-benedict-xvi-says-he-will-retire.html?partner=rss&emc=rss&src=igw&_r=0

ROME — Citing advanced years and infirmity, Pope Benedict XVI stunned the Roman Catholic world on Monday by saying he would resign on Feb. 28 after less than eight years in office, the first pope to do so in six centuries.

[Brehvolution]

Thanks, Obama!

[Don Flamenco]

and now Pope Benedict XVI:  "I thought it was about Catholicism, but as it turns out, I became the head of a massive kiddie-fiddler ring with the mandate of God." 

[Mandark]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

The next pope will be your last!

[Madrun Badrun]

[Don Flamenco]

That wiki page is interesting.   John Paul II was born and buried on days with solar eclipses.   

John Paul the first lasted a month and had a shady death:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pope_John_Paul_I_conspiracy_theories

[TakingBackSunday]

damn, Celestine was pretty awesome

[Cerveza mas fina]

fuck religion

[Joe Molotov]

Thanks, Obama!

[Human Snorenado]

If they want to appeal to a more modern pedophile, they should look into making R Kelly pope

[fistfulofmetal]

Reading CM Punk tweet about the Pop being a nazi. pretty funny https://twitter.com/CMPunk

[Verdigris Murder]

I hear he's retiring to a soft play center. Don't know what that's all about.

[Yeti]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

The next pope will be your last!

I love how there are Anti-Popes, although I think I would have gone with Bizarro-Popes or Nega-Popes.

[recursivelyenumerable]

Wow, Celestine's successor was a giant asshole. Or was there more to the story?

[benjipwns]

Pope Benedict IX, in 1045: At age 33 and about 10 years into his tumultuous term, the Rome-born pope resigned so that he could get married – and to collect some cash from his godfather, also Roman, who paid Benedict IX to step down so that he might replace him
...
Pope Gregory VI, in 1046: The same man who had bribed and replaced his godson ended up leaving the office himself only a year later, according to Poole’s account. The trouble began when Benedict IX failed to secure the bride he’d resigned for, leading him to change his mind and return to the Vatican. Both popes remained in the city, both claiming to rule the Catholic church, for several months.

Seth Rogen and Christopher Walken are "Two Popes, One Vatican", written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, this summer.

[Joe Molotov]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

The next pope will be your last!

Doomsday preppers are jizzing themselves over this picture of lightning striking St. Peter's Basilica that was taken the day Pope Benedict announced his resignation.



The last pope from that prophecy is called Peter the Roman. In other words...

[Huff]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

The next pope will be your last!

Doomsday preppers are jizzing themselves over this picture of lightning striking St. Peter's Basilica that was taken the day Pope Benedict announced his resignation.

(Image removed from quote.)

The last pope from that prophecy is called Peter the Roman. In other words...

(Image removed from quote.)

NK nuke just adding to the fire.

It was nice knowing all of you

[Van Cruncheon]

also the ANTI-CHRIST HAS A SECOND TERM!!!!!!!!1111 GUNS BEING ROUNDED UP, ROBOTS BUGS PLANTING CHIPS IN YOUR SKULL!!! DRONES LIKE WING-ED HELLBEASTS OVERHEAD! THE NEW WORLD ORDER COMETH!!!!! AGENDA 21, GO!!!

[Mandark]

I do love that we've still got a religious institution that goes back far enough that we can have shit like this.  Can you imagine millenia-spanning prophecies in Pentecostalism?  Hell no.

Say what you will about the tenets of Catholicism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

[Mupepe]

Fucking nihilists.

[Joe Molotov]

2012-2: Cusack Boogaloo

[Dickie Dee]

I do love that we've still got a religious institution that goes back far enough that we can have shit like this.  Can you imagine millenia-spanning prophecies in Pentecostalism?  Hell no.

Say what you will about the tenets of Catholicism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Plus they got one of these

[Joe Molotov]

I'd totally put that in my man cave.

[Barry Egan]

I'd totally put that in my man cave.

check it out, I comissioned Todd McFarlane to make me a Jesus. 

[Joe Molotov]

When he created it in 1977, Fazzini explained that the statue shows Jesus rising from the crater of a nuclear bomb. “The Resurrection” is made from bronze and measures 66 feet tall and 23 feet wide.

That shit is metal as hell.

[CajoleJuice]

I'd totally put that in my man cave.

check it out, I comissioned Todd McFarlane to make me a Jesus. 

[recursivelyenumerable]

I knew this resignation came a little too easy ...

(Image removed from quote.)

... multipart boss fight confirmed.

[Diunx]

Just getting ready for episode 7.

[Don Flamenco]

The savior is coming!!!!!

[chronovore]

I'd totally put that in my man cave.

check it out, I comissioned Todd McFarlane to make me a Jesus.

[Diunx]

I hope the next Pope is a troll and actually name himself Peter the Roman

but would that be fulfilling the prophecy?

[Steve Contra]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

The next pope will be your last!

I love how there are Anti-Popes, although I think I would have gone with Bizarro-Popes or Nega-Popes.

All the Bizarro-Popes and Nega-Popes were done away with during Crisis on Infinite Earths because people were sick of going to Church on Sunday and Bizarro Sunday.

[Flannel Boy]

Well, if it were Bizarro Sunday, wouldn't that mean devout Catholics wouldn't go to church.

[Steve Contra]

No it's just Tuesday

[Don Flamenco]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

The next pope will be your last!

I love how there are Anti-Popes, although I think I would have gone with Bizarro-Popes or Nega-Popes.

All the Bizarro-Popes and Nega-Popes were done away with during Crisis on Infinite Earths because people were sick of going to Church on Sunday and Bizarro Sunday.

the Wiki is curiously silent on Doritos popes. 



OMG They're gonna reveal the next gen Pope at E3!!!!

 :geoff

[Cormacaroni]

https://www.commondreams.org/further/2013/02/19

So it looks as if a deal is being struck to give him immunity from prosecution re: child rape cover-ups

I can see how covering up child rape can tire a man out

[Himu]

hopefully the next pope brings the catholic church into the 21st century. hell, i'd settle for the 20th century.   

[Yeti]

What century was it that child raping was okay in? I'd settle for leaving that one.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

What century was it that child raping was okay in? I'd settle for leaving that one.

Depends on whether he directed any good movies or not.

[Brehvolution]

I can see how covering up child rape can tire a man out

Cut him some slack. He's doing god's work.

[Joe Molotov]

https://twitter.com/dowagerpontiff/status/307163530069676032

haha

[Great Rumbler]

[Brehvolution]

(Image removed from quote.)
(Image removed from quote.)

[parallax]

What century was it that child raping was okay in? I'd settle for leaving that one.

Depends on whether he directed any good movies or not.

good show.

[Yeti]

I thought this was interesting from a few days ago.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/02/results-of-vatileaks-probe-for-popes-eyes-only/

ROME – Pope Benedict XVI decided to keep secret the contents of an investigative report on the “Vatileaks” scandal, ruling that the only person who will get to see it will be the next pope.

The Vatican spokesman today underscored that the contents of the dossier are known only to the pope and his investigators, three elderly prelates whom the Italian papers have nicknamed “the 007 cardinals.”

But the dossier itself will remain “For the Pope’s Eyes Only.”

I smell a film franchise!

For the Pope’s Eyes Only
The Priest who Loved Me (Inappropriately)
From the Vatican With Love
Godfinger
On His Holiness’s Secret Service
Octopapacy
A View to a Coverup
The World is Not Enough (don’t even need to change this one!)
Father No
Live and Let Resign
Cathedral Royale
Quantum of Soul-lessness
Sinfall
 
Someone think of something for Thunderball, my mind is drawing a blank.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

http://mashable.com/2013/03/01/pope-benedict-comic-sans-album/

[Akala]

Father No

excellent

[Great Rumbler]

License to Confess

[Phoenix Dark]

The Boy With the Golden Buns

[Joe Molotov]

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/03/world/catholic-church-obrien/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

"I wish to take this opportunity to admit that there have been times that my sexual conduct has fallen below the standards expected of me as a priest, archbishop and cardinal," Cardinal Keith O'Brien said in a statement.

Translation: I did the dirty with a dude.