Author Topic: The Japan Thread  (Read 62950 times)

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chronovore

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The Japan Thread
« on: March 21, 2013, 08:21:58 PM »
This is a thread for Japanbore, fans, friends, and foes of Japan.

I've been wanting to call out some seriously weird, annoying, or cool things about Japan, as I'm hopefully in my last year of residence here after having lived here a total of 13 years. No doubt I will be pulled back in again, at some point.

So, whether it's the excellent service, unmatched food presentation, social awkwardness, societal values trapped 30 years in the past, the sexy ladies of Yokohama Station, or that asshole smoking next to the no-smoking sign, bring the noise.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2013, 04:21:56 AM by chronovore »

nudemacusers

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2013, 08:27:46 PM »
are there used panty vending machines everywhere or not

Esch

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2013, 08:30:52 PM »
mail me entertaining melon flavored treats you bastard

BobFromPikeCreek

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2013, 08:31:33 PM »
I had Salty Watermelon Pepsi when I was there and it was bonkers.
zzzzz

Phoenix Dark

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2013, 08:37:09 PM »
Are escorts legal in Japan?
010

Smooth Groove

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2013, 08:39:11 PM »
What's up with the pixels?  It's not like the whole world doesn't already know how pervy most Japs are.

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2013, 08:39:44 PM »
I'll go first: (edit - I am no longer first)

The other day, there was a "best of" a certain variety show; this is a late-night now called Tantei Night-Scoop. They "investigate" viewers' questions and report on them. Usually it is weird and/or tasteless stuff which is a focus: My husband can tell when TVs are turned on even when he can't see them. My cat sounds like a famous enka singer. Why do farts stink less when you fart in the bath tub?

The episode in question had what had to be the most messed-up thing I've seen on Japanese TV. The viewer / investigatee was a pre-op male-to-female transsexual who claimed to be producing copious milk from her breasts, and wanted to know what to do with it. Gender-sensitivity aside, the whole presentation is "this is male breast milk."

So the crew goes to visit and confirm, and the transsexual produces jars of breast milk which she's stored in the fridge. A scientist explains that, with the hormones the TS is taking, this is not unheard of. This isn't enough proof, so the crew asks her to produce breast milk on the spot. She does, and for some reason they think, OK, let's sample it. So the crew is drinking this "male breast milk," and then they even take the fresh stuff, shake it around in a bottle until BUTTER is produced, and then they spread this "male breast milk butter" on toast and eat that too.

:japancry

Cormacaroni

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2013, 08:51:02 PM »
I love the way everything must be pseudo-scientifically measured, quantified and verified. People start complaining that face masks to cut pollen and pollution stink of garlic? LET'S BUST OUT THE ODOR-MEASURING DEVICES AND COMPARE THE ODORS OF DOZENS OF DIFFERENT RANDOM THINGS TO FACEMASKS for 30 mins of primetime tv
vjj

Human Snorenado

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2013, 08:51:30 PM »
Obviously it's a stereotype with some basis in truth, but just HOW crazy for us gaijin men are the local ladies?  Like, would they be interested in a fat balding white dude?
yar

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2013, 08:51:37 PM »
are there used panty vending machines everywhere or not
No, they were made illegal several years ago. Supposedly they were illegal from 1993 onward, but when I lived in Kyoto in 1994 there was such a vending machine at the end of my block in the "bad area" of Shimo-Gyou-ku
http://www.snopes.com/risque/kinky/panties.asp

mail me entertaining melon flavored treats you bastard
They would not be any good by the time they arrived. Japan is small enough that transporting fresh food to local convenience stores is not a logistial nightmare. The bread on the shelves is usually from the previous day, and will be gone by the second day. Fresh melon treats here -- so good. Actually, a convenience store chain called DAILY YAMAZAKI has a mini-bakery built into it, so the melon-pan is shipped as dough and baked fresh hourly. Yummy.

Are escorts legal in Japan?
I don't know. I don't think so, but in major cities there used to be four-color printed post-its in all the pay phones, showing (falsely, I assume) the girl you'd get if you called and ordered from them. There are several kinds of ostensibly legal sex trade in Japan, but I don't know anything about them first-hand. There's "soap land," where men pay to have a woman get naked and lather herself up, and then wash the customer's naked body with her own. I guess that commonly ends in sex, depending on what has been paid. I've heard of "de-mae herusu" (Take-Out Health) which involves a woman showing up at the customer's selected location to perform fellatio.

What's up with the pixels?  It's not like the whole world doesn't already know how pervy most Japs are.
Thank America for that one! I understand that censorship was mandated by the post-war Constitution imposed on Japan by the Allies, largely drafted by the USA. Japan's previous adult material, shunga, had tremendous detail in the genitalia. It probably terrified MacArthur, so they included this provision. (I made that last part up.)

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2013, 08:55:26 PM »
Obviously it's a stereotype with some basis in truth, but just HOW crazy for us gaijin men are the local ladies?  Like, would they be interested in a fat balding white dude?

In Osaka at least, fat doesn't really turn many women off. Balding also doesn't seem to be a game-breaker. The most important thing in Osaka is whether or not you're clever or funny.

I've seen guys here who could NEVER get a date in the USA running around with women they could never get in their homeland. Then again, many of the Japanese women who target foreigners are also batshit crazy, and are mainly interested in getting out of Japan, and living a life abroad, which has been unduly influenced by the foreign movies they've seen. But it's not hard to be more romantic than most Japanese guys.

Human Snorenado

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2013, 08:58:30 PM »
Dude, clever and funny are THE ONLY THINGS I HAVE GOING FOR ME. 

Anyone looking to me for a sugar daddy is in trouble though :P
yar

The Walrus

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2013, 08:59:00 PM »
Chrono, are you in Tokyo?

Edit: n/m, just saw your post. Osaka.

Phoenix Dark

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2013, 08:59:26 PM »
Is it true black guys have no chance with the women?
010

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2013, 09:08:26 PM »
Is it true black guys have no chance with the women?
What? No! For several years now, black guys have been the hottest accessory around for Japanese women.

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2013, 09:09:32 PM »
Chrono, are you in Tokyo?

Edit: n/m, just saw your post. Osaka.

Yeah, I'm a Kansai dude. I've been to Tokyo a number of times, and worked part of each week out of Yokohama for about three years, but I'm not a fan of Kanto.

Human Snorenado

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #16 on: March 21, 2013, 09:09:37 PM »
PD, let's open up an accounting business over there
yar

nudemacusers

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #17 on: March 21, 2013, 09:24:01 PM »
Is it true black guys have no chance with the women?
What? No! For several years now, black guys have been the hottest accessory around for Japanese women.
Sounds like PD just needs to bring himself and a Hermes/LV handbag and he's gold eh?

Beezy

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #18 on: March 21, 2013, 09:42:15 PM »
Is there still a dancehall/reggae scene there? Is it big?

PD, let's open up an accounting business over there
I have an accounting degree too!

chronovore

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The Japan Thread
« Reply #19 on: March 21, 2013, 09:43:51 PM »
Heh.

Also, it is hard to find good beer, and it's all expensive.


chronovore

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If It's Not on the Menu, It Doesn't Exist
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2013, 06:04:39 AM »
My British friend, my wife, and I are out at a local outlet mall on a day off. As it turned out to be Shunbun-no-Hi, a national holiday, the place was completely overrun with shoppers instead of the ghost town I'd expected on a Wednesday.

We go to BAGEL & BAGEL, an "authentic" NY style bagel place. They have all kinds of bagels and schmears, like Noah's in the USA. My wife says, I'll have that blueberry bagel, with blueberry cream cheese. The clerk says, "Revered customer, our sincere apologies, but we only offer plain bagels." But the blueberry bagels are RIGHT THERE, and the schmear is RIGHT THERE. "Yes, we are very sorry. If you would like to buy those and eat them, that would be acceptable, but we cannot prepare them for you. We only prepare and serve the plain bagels."

My wife was honestly more stunned than I was. I said, "Welcome to Japan!" It is so, so common here to be stonewalled whenever you want anything even slightly out of the ordinary.

One time, when I was out with clients at their hotel bar, they wanted a particular cocktail which the bar didn't have in their menu. Instead of trying to make it after looking it up, as it is with ANY other bar I've been to, they insisted that they buy each ingredient separately, and mix it themselves. Which, as they were on my company's dime, they did. It was about a US$60 drink, in the end. Jerks.

Cormacaroni

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2013, 09:25:48 AM »
1) North Korea?

2) Their constitution effectively does allow for a military - their 'Self-defense force' is one of the largest in the world. And they participate in other countries' military actions from time to time too. Plus, they house and support the US military on both the mainland and Okinawa etc.

3) Popular position is fuck those raping black swine who want to knock up our daughters I think (these are basically the only stories that reach the news, and local dissatisfaction with military justice...), but tempered with a lot of hey that guy in North Korea is pretty fuckin crazy let's let the Yanks keep the warheads here

4) China and India - hahahaha, their tactic is basically stagnate and decline by comparison, then move the statistical goalposts to make it look like they're still somewhat relevant. They do export to those markets and have moved a fair amount of manufacturing there but not enough to keep industry growing  and certainly not enough to keep pace with the growth in China/India

5) Nothing really 'surprises' me about life here anymore, for good or bad. I'd really have to reach back into the dim recesses of memory to find something.

6) Karate (j/k Japanese language by a country mile, it has been my free lunch for 15 years and counting)

7) been abroad longer than i've been 'home' so tricky
« Last Edit: March 22, 2013, 09:29:58 AM by Cormacaroni »
vjj

Brehvolution

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2013, 09:49:58 AM »
Has either of you ever seen the crane technique used in a public scuffle?

spoiler (click to show/hide)
you don't have to answer that
« Last Edit: March 22, 2013, 10:14:48 AM by Zero Hero »
©ZH

Smooth Groove

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2013, 10:50:10 AM »
How often do British and American shows get translated?

bork

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2013, 11:04:10 AM »
Is it true black guys have no chance with the women?
What? No! For several years now, black guys have been the hottest accessory around for Japanese women.

I went to a club, that Blackace was working at as a bouncer for, in 2005.  It was nothing but black dudes and Japanese chicks trying to get with them.  Even you will get laid, PD!
ど助平

bork

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #25 on: March 22, 2013, 11:06:37 AM »
I live out in the sticks, unlike most of the jetsetters of jBore.  It's actually not much different here than it was in the small town in Canada I grew up in.  Less racist, I guess.

I was in a small city (Kanazawa) during most of my time over there, then living in the sticks for a few months before moving back.  I liked how quiet and safe it felt, but at the same time things were incredibly BORING.  The whole town shut down around eight at night.  There were only like three restaurants and the "nightlife" centered around a Heiwado shopping center with a Yamada Denki.   We'd make the 45 minute drive back to Kanazawa pretty much every weekend.
ど助平

Smooth Groove

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #26 on: March 22, 2013, 11:08:25 AM »
Is it true black guys have no chance with the women?
What? No! For several years now, black guys have been the hottest accessory around for Japanese women.

I went to a club, that Blackace was working at as a bouncer for, in 2005.  It was nothing but black dudes and Japanese chicks trying to get with them.  Even you will get laid, PD!

What about whities?  Almost every foreigner is a BBC compared to the local shrimps

Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #27 on: March 22, 2013, 11:36:13 AM »
Want a sandwich? Hope you like white bread and mayo!

Chrono, are you in Tokyo?

Edit: n/m, just saw your post. Osaka.

Yeah, I'm a Kansai dude. I've been to Tokyo a number of times, and worked part of each week out of Yokohama for about three years, but I'm not a fan of Kanto.

I need Osaka recommendations, mang. I'm surprised by the complete lack of information on what's cool in Osaka, as opposed to Tokyo. Too bad you'll be in the states next April when the wife and I are there.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2013, 11:37:46 AM by Mr. Gundam »
野球

Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #28 on: March 22, 2013, 11:59:08 AM »
My comment was more about going into places that sold sandwiches and finding nothing but fluffy white bread with the crusts cut off soaked in mayo or whipped cream.

However, I love katsu sandwiches on white bread. Nothing wrong with that, and they're so cheap.
野球

Steve Contra

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #29 on: March 22, 2013, 12:01:00 PM »
How are Japanese people towards Filipinos?  The most blatantly racist stuff I've ever heard in real life has come from other Asian's towards Filipinos.
vin

Squiddy

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #30 on: March 22, 2013, 12:05:01 PM »
Isn't Korea the latest shiz?
<コ:彡

drew

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2013, 12:22:18 PM »
Obviously it's a stereotype with some basis in truth, but just HOW crazy for us gaijin men are the local ladies?  Like, would they be interested in a fat balding white dude?

nothing you could ever say from now on will ever affect me in any way :lol

Phoenix Dark

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2013, 12:35:35 PM »
What are the most popular sports in Japan, not just in terms of professional sports but also local schools? Like is there an eqialivent of say..the NFL here. I've heard that baseball is very popular there
010

Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #33 on: March 22, 2013, 12:48:23 PM »
What are the most popular sports in Japan, not just in terms of professional sports but also local schools? Like is there an eqialivent of say..the NFL here. I've heard that baseball is very popular there

Baseball is big. They've got a national high school tournament that is shown on TV.

Going to a baseball game in Japan is different from a game in the states. The vibe is very similar to a soccer match.
野球

Human Snorenado

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #34 on: March 22, 2013, 12:55:19 PM »
Obviously it's a stereotype with some basis in truth, but just HOW crazy for us gaijin men are the local ladies?  Like, would they be interested in a fat balding white dude?

nothing you could ever say from now on will ever affect me in any way :lol

Your sarcasm meter must be busted, guess you used that brain cell to figure out how to safely sodomize yourself with a gun barrel
yar

BlackMage

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #35 on: March 22, 2013, 01:00:02 PM »
how shitty will my life be being 6'4" and going into buildings, bathrooms, etc?
UNF

bork

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #36 on: March 22, 2013, 01:17:30 PM »
What are the most popular sports in Japan, not just in terms of professional sports but also local schools? Like is there an eqialivent of say..the NFL here. I've heard that baseball is very popular there

At schools, baseball is number one.  Soccer is next, then track.  I saw a lot of tennis clubs and table tennis clubs in schools too, but it depends on the school as to whether or not the clubs are for girls, boys, or both.  There's also judo and kendo clubs among others. 
ど助平

Verdigris Murder

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #37 on: March 22, 2013, 01:29:03 PM »
Is it true that Maria Ozawa is actually suffered huge brain trauma when she was little?
:{]

bork

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #38 on: March 22, 2013, 01:37:49 PM »
Quote
Ozawa’s family and friends are against her chosen profession in spite of her apparent pride in her work. When she brought several of her videos home to show her parents, they refused to watch them and told her to get out.

:spin
ど助平

Rufus

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #39 on: March 22, 2013, 01:39:13 PM »
That's a yes then.

Human Snorenado

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #40 on: March 22, 2013, 01:42:40 PM »
It's important to have pride in your work
yar

tiesto

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #41 on: March 22, 2013, 02:42:14 PM »
Have you guys ever been to Ageha and Womb (clubs)? Are they as amazing as everyone says?

Are Japanese BBWs easy to pick up for a slightly awkward white guy with minimal Japanese knowledge?
HOUSE

bork

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #42 on: March 22, 2013, 03:19:56 PM »
Have you guys ever been to Ageha and Womb (clubs)? Are they as amazing as everyone says?

Are Japanese BBWs easy to pick up for a slightly awkward white guy with minimal Japanese knowledge?

You stand out for being exotic, but if you're a loser in your home country, you're gonna be a loser in another country.   :P

(You don't need to worry about that Tiesto!)

My dating experience there basically went two rejections > met hot girl > dated > got married a year and half later > O_o , and I'm a fat fuck. 
« Last Edit: March 22, 2013, 03:23:15 PM by bork laser »
ど助平

Hyoushi

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #43 on: March 23, 2013, 07:48:54 AM »
I was thoroughly out-shopped by Cormacaroni today, good show! Need to step my omotesando game up.
地平線

Cormacaroni

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #44 on: March 23, 2013, 08:11:48 AM »
#richkidsofomotesando
vjj

Hyoushi

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #45 on: March 23, 2013, 08:16:17 AM »
Pinkies Aloft Crew
地平線

DCharlieJP

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #46 on: March 23, 2013, 10:33:18 AM »
Have you guys ever been to Ageha and Womb (clubs)? Are they as amazing as everyone says?

Are Japanese BBWs easy to pick up for a slightly awkward white guy with minimal Japanese knowledge?

Yes - been to Ageha a few times - the whole complex is incredible but the main hall is like a level from Rez with a huge overhead sound system that lowers down. They also cover live bands here too - saw The Specials there and that was insanely awesome, but Deep Dish did an 8 hour set there which was probably the most amazing live electronica event I've been too. They came on at midnight, we left at 8am - they were still playing.

Womb is also great - amazingly friendly place too but a pain to find. Dance floor gets suitably rammed and has a great live show. Nick Warren was fantastic there.

Unit is another great club - quite small and intimate. Saw Paul Van Dyk there for the In Between launch - 500 people only. Absolutely fantastic visual show.

Japanese BBw - don't see too many to be honest. I mean - they are out there, but no clue if they are any easier or harder to pick up than normal. A guy I know with all the charm of a full toilet seems to gravitate to BBW and he doesn't seem to have any trouble picking them up so I assume it's not too bad? That said - I haven't been on the singles circuit since 2000 and I was only on it for a couple of months so god knows how it is for us honky types these days.

Also, as an aside, in times when I have been approached by people unwittingly not knowing I'm married it has been mainly by European women strangely enough. Not in great numbers of course - it's not like I'm some hot stud muffin to look at
« Last Edit: March 23, 2013, 10:36:58 AM by DCharlieJP »
O=X

drew

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #47 on: March 23, 2013, 10:01:06 PM »
Your sarcasm meter must be busted, guess you used that brain cell to figure out how to safely sodomize yourself with a gun barrel

ooook, whatever you say "bro", at least i'm not fat ugly and old! (yet lol)

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #48 on: March 23, 2013, 10:17:21 PM »
drew fails to recognize self-deprecation, not having that gene himself, and thus sees it as a point of attack.

British: almost never on regular cable.  American: the oddest smattering of shows get translated and aired at ungodly hours, usually a few seasons behind at best.  Since I've been here, I've seen CSI, Full House, Ghost Whisperer, House, Glee, Burn Notice, Chuck, Gossip Girl, and a few others.

Now, if you have better than basic cable, the whole world changes.  But I don't care enough about TV to bother.

Worked with a couple Japanese girls who were doing some sort of exchange internship deal in 2000/2001.  I asked one if they got American TV over there and she said yeah: Friends, The Simpsons... and Alf.

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #49 on: March 24, 2013, 12:48:30 AM »
Has either of you ever seen the crane technique used in a public scuffle?

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you don't have to answer that

Only jokingly.

Momo

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #50 on: March 24, 2013, 01:22:47 AM »

chronovore

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #51 on: March 24, 2013, 05:41:39 AM »
:nsfw :nsfw :nsfw


http://wtfmanga.tumblr.com/post/45615764669/twcflorkin-renegade-ham-qweety-this-is-a


holy fucking shit

Actually, yeah, that was one of the reasons I finally decided to make this thread. I'd seen that elsewhere, and forgot to post it. Good grief.

Beezy

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #52 on: March 24, 2013, 11:23:28 AM »
...

*clears history*

nudemacusers

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Human Snorenado

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yar

Momo

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #55 on: March 24, 2013, 01:24:12 PM »
I think it would survive

The Walrus

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #56 on: March 24, 2013, 05:24:01 PM »
Got into Tokyo last night with a bunch of classmates. It's fun. Will update.

Verdigris Murder

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #57 on: March 24, 2013, 05:30:55 PM »
Buy some pastries.
:{]

nudemacusers

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #58 on: March 24, 2013, 06:05:28 PM »
Seriously if you come across that monstrosity of a pastry I will send you money.

Trent Dole

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Re: The Japan Thread
« Reply #59 on: March 24, 2013, 07:27:57 PM »
Vocaloid cunt pastry...  :wtf :japancry
Hi