Irrational work pet peeves

[Human Snorenado]

We've all got em.  Mine are customers that think they're a special and unique snowflake, and that all of the rules we have don't apply to them.  We buy a lot of stuff from people over paypal at work, and since we're a relatively high volume business and have a business account with paypal, if we send EVERY PAYMENT as a gift, they threaten to shut us down since they want their cut of the action.  So, our rule is to not send payments as a gift.  It's on our website, even.

But!  The boss.  He's a pushover and remembers a time when we were a shitty little start up that had to beg for each piece of business, so he's constantly bending the rules.  Which is fine- he owns the place.  EXCEPT.  We're not allowed to bend the rules, so when someone comes to us and asks us to do it, WE CAN'T.  Which drives me fucking insane, because if we just treated everyone the same (politely, obviously but the same) then we wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit of me telling someone no, then that same customer just waiting until Monday and then getting the boss to do whatever bullshit thing they want.

Anyway!  I'm sure everyone else has better pet peeves.  Let's hear em.

[Robo]

I love my job and everything is perfect.

[Momo]

My manager is technical and she generally leaves me alone to do my job. Sometimes there is this fuckhole of a business manager that comes around and tries to hurry projects along, which is fine I can deal with that. But this blackhole of intelligence literally wastes HOURS of my time bouncing ideas off me which amounts to nothing but technical buzzwords + stink breath. Last week I was investigating an incompatibility between a value type an application outputs vs what the db expects. He literally told me "write it to the cloud, that will abstract it".

Jesus Christ.

[jiji]

Last week I was investigating an incompatibility between a value type an application outputs vs what the db expects. He literally told me "write it to the cloud, that will abstract it".

My job's pretty stressful, but the only thing that peeves me on a regular basis is when somebody nukes fish or popcorn in the office microwave.

[T234]

I hate it when your business partner fucking straight up lies to your face saying he can fix Iphones, and then turns around and gives you an Iphone that's got fucking DUCT TAPE IN IT.

He says it's unfixable. And he's wanting to bill somebody SIXTY-FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS for a part that he never put in, and the phone is not fixed.


I'm gonna ask him Monday if he wants out. If he says yes, then sweet. If he says no and acts all butthurt, them Imma tell him to get his shit and GTFO.

I got another guy with the drive, ambition and skills to pay the bills who wants on. The longer I wait to bring him in the more money I lose. And if I wait too long, guy B will start his own shop and probably end up eating my business down to nothing.


UGH

[Human Snorenado]

Don't wait!  Shit can Dude A today.  Politely explain it ain't working out, then call Dude B and tell him you want to work with him.

[MCD]

Don't talk to me

No, I don't care about what happened to you yesterday nor do I want to know what you had for dinner FUCK OFF

[Robo]

Don't talk to me

No, I don't care about what happened to you yesterday nor do I want to know what you had for dinner FUCK OFF

This is why you don't have any friends.

[Momo]

Don't talk to me

No, I don't care about what happened to you yesterday nor do I want to know what you had for dinner FUCK OFF

Stop reading facebook at work

[Phoenix Dark]

1. COFFEE


What's so hard about disposing of your god damn half empty cup of coffee? To make matters worse, people never seem to finish the cups they save, they just get a new one.
 :dude

2. Technological distinguished mentally-challenged fellows

I understand some people's technical IQ stops and starts with logging into Facebook but there comes a point where some basic information HAS to be retained. I'm of course talking about the person who flags you over to their computer because it's acting slowly again, then you see they have 20 FIREFOX WINDOWS OPEN. "Hey, I know you showed me this before but lolol, what's the way you make it go faster again?"
 

Earlier this month I was trying to print something and realized the printer was gone. So I asked around and the office manager said "oh it stopped working so I put it in the back room. We ordered a laser printer, it'll be here on Friday." So I went to the back room, hooked up the printer, and quickly realized the nozzle head just needed to be cleaned (it cleans itself, you just have to tell it to). I brought the printer back into the front, hooked it up, printed my stuff out, and got back to work. Laser printer order? Cancelled.

Oh and the time I got to work and saw a $60 invoice from a computer fix-it place, listing "USB mouse maintenance." I asked what that was about and was told "oh, such and such's mouse stopped working and we couldn't figure it out." I don't have proof but I am 99% positive the tech guy just replaced the batteries
:childplease

[Himu]

The biggest pet peeve at work is clearly coffee. People who make shit watered down coffee, people who don't make MORE coffee after emptying it, people who leave their half empty cups everywhere.

COFFEE.

[Steve Contra]

Waking up in the middle of the night and wondering, where the fuck am I going to get 17,000 this week?

Wait, that's not irrational at all.

[TakingBackSunday]

I love my job, but my boss treats me like a fucking moron.  He calls me up every five minutes are tries to talk to me like I'm fucking five, and reminds me to do stuff that I've already done like five times within the hour.  Dude, it's my fucking job, I excel at it, and I know what I'm doing.  Stop riding my dick.

[MCD]

Don't talk to me

No, I don't care about what happened to you yesterday nor do I want to know what you had for dinner FUCK OFF

This is why you don't have any friends.

lol

Nah, I love my job and happy with my friends there.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Customers -  These days I pretty much deal with large businesses and they're fucking pricks to deal with.  Most of them feel that they can throw their weight around, make ridiculous demands that aren't even remotely possible, and want it all done for free.  The way they operate is so insidious that they've made being a raging asshole into an art form.

Boss -  She feels she doesn't need to know anything about the job and has said as such.  So every idea she comes up with is some combination of insane, unfeasible, or illegal.  Then the burden is on us to prove why it is insane, unfeasible, illegal, or some combination thereof.  Then we write essays on the subject matter and then have a conference call for an hour to discuss with her other direct reports.  That is when I browse Bore or SA or read a book on the Kindle app.  Then end result is that it takes weeks to get done what used to take a day at most.  She also makes Prole levels of money but barely works more than 30 hours a week.  Due to some fucked up rules, she pretty much can't get fired.

Direct Reports - There is a guy who works for me who likes to joke that he is semi-retired.  In practice, semi-retired means "doesn't do shit" however he is a senior engineer so he draws a sizable paycheck.  A cursory look at his work history shows that he should have been fired several times over for offenses ranging from excessive tardiness, sleeping in his office, no call no shows, and even sexual harassment back in the 90s.  I wanted to fire him and replace him with a fresh faced graduate who will work hard and work for less than half of the money this dingleberry is making (tis the American way).  However HR, the fucking worthless department that they are, fears a discrimination lawsuit by firing some old guy and thus told me that since he is retiring at the end of the year that I'm stuck with him.  So I took his giant pile of work and reassigned it to others, and I took a share as well.    Now he just likes to wander around with a cup of coffee in his hand and annoying everyone around him.

[Phoenix Dark]

He sounds like those two fat cops in The Wire S1 lmao, the dead weight that was assigned to the Barksdale case 

[pilonv1]

This thread is making me feel better about my job, thanks guys.

[Bildi]

I had a co-worker who decided to start singing.

After telling her on three separate occasions to shut up she finally got the message.

Rude bitch.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

He sounds like those two fat cops in The Wire S1 lmao, the dead weight that was assigned to the Barksdale case 

Yep, there was also an incident that could be compared pretty closely to this scene:

[Verdigris Murder]

Women are always more prone to be stroppy clients. See also relationships.

[Himu]

1. COFFEE


What's so hard about disposing of your god damn half empty cup of coffee? To make matters worse, people never seem to finish the cups they save, they just get a new one.
 :dude

2. Technological distinguished mentally-challenged fellows

I understand some people's technical IQ stops and starts with logging into Facebook but there comes a point where some basic information HAS to be retained. I'm of course talking about the person who flags you over to their computer because it's acting slowly again, then you see they have 20 FIREFOX WINDOWS OPEN. "Hey, I know you showed me this before but lolol, what's the way you make it go faster again?"
 

Earlier this month I was trying to print something and realized the printer was gone. So I asked around and the office manager said "oh it stopped working so I put it in the back room. We ordered a laser printer, it'll be here on Friday." So I went to the back room, hooked up the printer, and quickly realized the nozzle head just needed to be cleaned (it cleans itself, you just have to tell it to). I brought the printer back into the front, hooked it up, printed my stuff out, and got back to work. Laser printer order? Cancelled.

Oh and the time I got to work and saw a $60 invoice from a computer fix-it place, listing "USB mouse maintenance." I asked what that was about and was told "oh, such and such's mouse stopped working and we couldn't figure it out." I don't have proof but I am 99% positive the tech guy just replaced the batteries
:childplease

The technology part reminded me of the folks up at church. Asking me to fix their internet and I'm all "I have no clue what's up. Everything is hooked up. Call at&t."

Their response?

"Let's buy a new computer."

[Verdigris Murder]

D you agree with the Philly article?

[Verdigris Murder]

Genuine question.

Seeking a genuine answer.

Must like crackling.

[hampster]

The bathroom on the floor below me is so much better. Its triple the size, seems much cleaner, is always empty and feels barely used. Every time I use it I feel so free



But I'm constantly afraid someone will catch me and be like WTF why don't use use your floor's bathroom

[Phoenix Dark]

I don't get it. I know people who will do everything possible to fix a car, washing machine, furnace, etc. But the minute their computer gets a virus they want to just buy a new one. It took me a couple days to fix a rather nasty virus for a family friend; on the second day she kept interrupting me saying "hey if you can't fix it ill just buy a new one." Wtf let me fix your shit and save you $400.

[Robo]

I love my job, but my boss treats me like a fucking moron.  He calls me up every five minutes are tries to talk to me like I'm fucking five, and reminds me to do stuff that I've already done like five times within the hour.  Dude, it's my fucking job, I excel at it, and I know what I'm doing.  Stop riding my dick.

It might be that he's dick-riding you because he doesn't think you know what you're doing.  I don't mean to imply that you don't, but rather that there's a communication breakdown.  Something to consider.

[chronovore]

PEEVE: People who finish the coffee but are "too busy" to put on another pot for the next people who'll want some.

PEEVE: People who victimize themselves into inaction. Do your job. Stop whining. You've got it better than most of the planet.

The bathroom on the floor below me is so much better. Its triple the size, seems much cleaner, is always empty and feels barely used. Every time I use it I feel so free



But I'm constantly afraid someone will catch me and be like WTF why don't use use your floor's bathroom

I worked at a game developer who had the 5th and 6th floors of a 6-storey building. 6th was development, which sadly meant mostly men at that time. 5th was marketing, sales, HR, and a big meeting room/common area; it had less people than 6, and was more evenly distributed by gender.

On each floor, there was a men's restroom, and a women's restroom. The men's room had a single stall, and a single urinal. This meant that the 78 males on the 6th floor shared a single stall for shitting. There was little-or-no ventilation in the room. I wrote a company-wide email about it, in which I lamented that the 5" fan was just not going to circulate enough air to deal with the stench, and what we really needed was to bring in a surplus jet engine with the intake in the men's room, and the exhaust pointing out the roof. In retrospect it was ill-advised, though it has been brought up several times as a reason ex-coworkers want to work with me again.

As a result, the 6th floor women's room was changed to a co-ed unit, and its two stalls were soon hosting the asses of many developers, as the stall count of 6th floor tripled in a single stroke of common sense.

[brawndolicious]

Not working right now but it is amazing how much people will put off working on their grad school applications or group work if you tell them you'll come by and help in a few days. They better thank the big pasta monster that I remembered an east coast school would have a deadline at 9 PM.

I don't get it. I know people who will do everything possible to fix a car, washing machine, furnace, etc. But the minute their computer gets a virus they want to just buy a new one. It took me a couple days to fix a rather nasty virus for a family friend; on the second day she kept interrupting me saying "hey if you can't fix it ill just buy a new one." Wtf let me fix your shit and save you $400.

Maybe it's a bluff? If you give a cockroach a cookbook, it'll know it's easier to just steal the food.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

- Poor time management.  Please don't bitch about working 10+ hours a day when you're spending 3-4 of those hours making personal calls, wandering around to socialize with co-workers, and taking long ass lunches.  Get a headset that will allow you to make your personal calls while still working, stop by your friend's office once a day, and bring your own lunch.  I guarantee that it will cut your time down to 8 hours or under.

- Office martyrs.  Don't volunteer for an assignment and then whine constantly about how hard you have it.  I suspect this is thinly veiled attention whoring, by letting people know that you're working.  Yes, we get it.  Now STFU.

- Management martyrs.  Stop acting like management are the real victims here.  You make obscene levels of money, usually work less hours than your direct reports, and are often responsible for making things as bureaucratic and slow as possible.  You do not need to micromanage, especially if you know fuck all about the job.  Yes, you are responsible for the success of your department but you do not do it by having endless meetings, getting on the asses of people who do know what they are doing, and doing just about everything to meddle in the way of people doing their job.

[chronovore]

I keep expecting to see in this thead: "Ken Levine."