What did you do when someone walked in on you masturbating?

[Verdigris Murder]

The power went, and I'm pretty sure the mother of the girl I've been banging for the last 12'ish or so years saw a half made spiff.

And I was watching Sightseers on an iPad in their service yard, because its the furthest place to get baked. If I'd been playing chess, rather than watching frivolous earphone stuff, I'd have beard the entrance.

Always play chess when in uncertain places.

[Robo]

Never got caught. 

[StealthFan]

How the fuck do you bang the same woman over the span of 12 years? :why


Is she the only pussy you've ever gotten? Does she let you slide in when she's lonely and lead your ass on for a damn decade :crazybron

[Joe Molotov]

How the fuck do you bang the same woman over the span of 12 years? :why

I think they're married, although it's hard to tell with Martin.

[Phoenix Dark]

How the fuck do you bang the same woman over the span of 12 years? :why


Is she the only pussy you've ever gotten? Does she let you slide in when she's lonely and lead your ass on for a damn decade :crazybron

[G The Resurrected]

acted like I was having a heat stroke. It was super hot and not uncommon for me to sleep in the nude since we didn't have ac. It didn't work cause Emanuelle was still on the tv.

[Phoenix Dark]

I kind of think a girl caught me like 9 years ago. Her family came over for dinner or something, and I just needed to bust a nut. After a couple hours they were getting ready to leave, and I thought they were all upstairs so I got on the computer and looked at some porn. I had my hand in my pants, but wasn't technically masturbating; I was warming up. You know how you pinch the head before starting? That's what I was doing, basically.

Anyway after a few minutes I heard someone run up the stairs. I leaped to the door and saw her (she was around my age). Maybe she didn't see me, maybe she did. I have no idea. I haven't seen her since then, but I've seen her dad many times throughout the years and he hasn't said shit.

[DCharlieJP]

I just shouted "THANK GOD YOU ARE HERE!"

[Cormacaroni]

[Mupepe]

I just shouted "THANK GOD YOU ARE HERE!"

It's happened a few times with me.  The earliest I can remember was when I was like 12 or 13 in Tennessee.  I shared a room with my brother and we had bunk beds.  I was on the top bunk letting my mind wander probably thinking of the most vanilla shit ever.  Then all of a sudden my mom and dad bust in with my brother and they all start discussing how to rearrange the room.  I freeze.  I stay under the cover and they start to ask what I think and shit.  And then my sister walks in and jumps in on the conversation.  They all stay there like ten minutes while I've got my jammies down to my knees under the cover and I'm just so scared that they're going to ask my to get off the bed so they can move shit.  It was terrifying.

Another one I remember is from my first marriage.  It was towards the end when we didn't even hate fuck each other anymore really.  It was like 8 at night before I work (night shift) and I had the lights in the living room off and I was watching something on tv.  Nothing particularly sexual.  But I was jackin it because it had probably been weeks at that point.  Then all of a sudden I can feel that feeling when you know someone is staring at you.  I turn my head to the left and see my ex in the doorway staring at me.  I didn't know what to do at first and then I thought "It's not like she's going to do anything" so I stared her in the eyes and kept jackin'.  She just left the room. 

[chronovore]

Been caught having sex, but not fapping. Odd, as from a statistical point of view, I'm more likely to be caught fapping.

[demi]

Can't get caught in the shower. Pro.

[Phoenix Dark]

[Van Cruncheon]

nut on em. how is this even a question

[Madrun Badrun]

nut on em. how is this even a question

She doesn't do anal and you need to ninja nut her?  SMH

[Phoenix Dark]

nut on em. how is this even a question

but what if it's a dog

[chronovore]

Give 'em "The Spider-Man."

[Great Rumbler]

Give 'em "The Spider-Man."

[Robo]

 

[Joe Molotov]

*thwip thwip thwip*

[Uninstall]

Another one I remember is from my first marriage.  It was towards the end when we didn't even hate fuck each other anymore really.  It was like 8 at night before I work (night shift) and I had the lights in the living room off and I was watching something on tv.  Nothing particularly sexual.  But I was jackin it because it had probably been weeks at that point.  Then all of a sudden I can feel that feeling when you know someone is staring at you.  I turn my head to the left and see my ex in the doorway staring at me.  I didn't know what to do at first and then I thought "It's not like she's going to do anything" so I stared her in the eyes and kept jackin'.  She just left the room.

this is the best story ive read this week

also its actually kinda hot

what does your ex look like?

[Mupepe]

A troll.  srs