Author Topic: International Bore: A Beginners Guide to Ranch Dressing (Read 5824 times)

Barry Egan · « **on:** July 12, 2013, 01:37:23 AM »

Wikipedia told me something sad today:

Quote

While highly popular in the United States, ranch dressing is virtually unknown in the rest of the world.

what do you guys dip your hush puppies and tater tots in to

Pictured: A Ranch Dressing Fountain, found at virtually any national park within the US and in most public restrooms.

In case you want to try and make your own, the key ingredients are buttermilk, mayo and sour cream and then some herbs maybe, whatever.

It's genuinely super delicious, and I'm sure it works just as well with crepes and schnitzel as it does with corn dogs and chicken sandwiches. I'm just here to raise awareness. If you have any questions let me know.

Shaka Khan · « **Reply #1 on:** July 12, 2013, 01:40:11 AM »

According to my sources the first time Saudis were widely exposed to ranch dressing was when Chillis opened in Khobar in 2002, and everyone couldn't have enough of Texas Fries.

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #2 on:** July 12, 2013, 01:42:23 AM »

This thread is a public service, and when I'm running the world you won't be able to go 10 feet without one of those Ranch fountains.

Also. People who consume "light" Ranch: you're doing it wrong.

brawndolicious · « **Reply #3 on:** July 12, 2013, 02:20:34 AM »

Breaking Bad and Lost mislead me.

Momo · « **Reply #4 on:** July 12, 2013, 02:49:41 AM »

The fuck is ranch dressing?

If anything you guys are missing out on not having monkeygland sauce

drew · « **Reply #5 on:** July 12, 2013, 03:14:24 AM »

buttermilk can and maybe even should be replaced with heavy cream

the recipe @ a restaurant i used to work @ called for one gallon mayo to 2 quarts heavy cream, a few dollops of sour cream from a rubber spat for thickening (this step can be skipped if necessary) and a packet of hidden valley flavoring "spice" i guess you'd call it

protip! the hidden valley spices also make for killer homemade croutons btw

Momo · « **Reply #6 on:** July 12, 2013, 04:08:08 AM »

http://www.food.com/recipe/monkey-gland-sauce-266015

Mr. Gundam · « **Reply #7 on:** July 12, 2013, 04:13:26 AM »

This should also be a beginner's guide to root beer.

Rufus · « **Reply #8 on:** July 12, 2013, 06:36:47 AM »

Quote from: Barry Egan on July 12, 2013, 01:37:23 AM

Wikipedia told me something sad today:

Quote
While highly popular in the United States, ranch dressing is virtually unknown in the rest of the world.

what do you guys dip your hush puppies and tater tots in to

I have more bad news for you.

Huff · « **Reply #9 on:** July 12, 2013, 07:09:29 AM »

do you weirdos even have fried food?!?!

Rufus · « **Reply #10 on:** July 12, 2013, 07:21:25 AM »

Remember what freedom fries where once called?

lennedsay · « **Reply #11 on:** July 12, 2013, 07:23:09 AM »

I hate ranch dressing. There. I said it.

The Italian restaurant I worked at in college refused to stock it because the owner didn't want to "attract white trash." No joke.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #12 on:** July 12, 2013, 07:36:27 AM »

hush puppies and tater tots wtf? you're supposed to dip pizza slices in it.

lennedsay: I've heard people use ranch to shit on both white people and black people, as if it's a low-class class condiment that only stupid people enjoy. this is clearly a lie spread by scum who hate good food and happiness.

Rufus · « **Reply #13 on:** July 12, 2013, 07:40:05 AM »

How close is it to Tzatziki?

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #14 on:** July 12, 2013, 08:57:37 AM »

I'm pretty sure that Jesus had ranch dressing at the last supper, for dipping that wafer bread stuff in. I'm pretty sure that's in The Bible.

Reb · « **Reply #15 on:** July 12, 2013, 09:05:24 AM »

ranch dressing

hush puppies

tater tots

hampster · « **Reply #16 on:** July 12, 2013, 09:14:55 AM »

We go through a lot of broccoli in my house. My kid eats it with melted cheese but I dip mine in glorious ranch dressing

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #17 on:** July 12, 2013, 09:50:26 AM »

Hush puppies, tater tots, fries, pizza, chicken wings... whatever. You can even use that shit as a lubricant in emergency cases I bet.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #18 on:** July 12, 2013, 09:53:12 AM »

Preheat oven to 350. Take 4-6 flour tortillas and cut into quarters. Toss them in a bowl with around a tablespoon or so of olive oil, making sure they're well coated. Sprinkle both sides with HVR or some other dry ranch seasoning. Arrange in a single layer on a baking sheet, and bake for 15-20 minutes, until golden brown.

You're welcome.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #19 on:** July 12, 2013, 09:56:48 AM »

It's fine for smearing all over your body when you're feeling particularly hedonistic.

Trurl · « **Reply #20 on:** July 17, 2013, 01:45:47 AM »

Ranch dressing is ok as a dipping sauce, but as a salad dressing it is fucking awful. Unlike real salad dressings that complement the flavors of leafy vegetables, ranch dressing brings out the bitterness and makes everything green in the salad taste like poo-poo. Basically, once you've put a little bit of ranch dressing on a salad you are committed drowning the thing until ranch is the only discernible flavor.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #21 on:** July 17, 2013, 02:10:00 AM »

my wife puts this shit on pizza

caesar > your mom's poop chute

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #22 on:** July 17, 2013, 02:49:54 AM »

this fool talking about mayo in a ranch thread

Positive Touch · « **Reply #23 on:** July 17, 2013, 06:42:11 AM »

ranch tastes nothing like mayo; dont do that to yourself

Brehvolution · « **Reply #24 on:** July 17, 2013, 09:17:55 AM »

Bleu cheese > Ranch on pizza or wingz

drew · « **Reply #25 on:** July 17, 2013, 02:00:31 PM »

Quote from: Exodust SoulBurn on July 17, 2013, 02:22:38 AM

Ugh, no thanks.

all dressing looks disgusting when it's components are separated when it's being made. try it you bitch you won't even be able to recognize the mayo

anyways i wanna try making ranch w/ vegenaise instead of mayo, because vegenaise > mayo

Quote from: Zero Hero on July 17, 2013, 09:17:55 AM

Bleu cheese > Ranch on pizza or wingz

having all the dips and switching it up with every bite >

bleu chz is good but youre tongue gets used to it after a bite or two. the best is with mozz sticks, switching from marinara to ranch with every dip mmm

drew · « **Reply #26 on:** July 17, 2013, 02:07:17 PM »

oh and btw mayo is pretty much the main ingredient in every creamy sauce or dressing that isn't a vinaigrette. have fun never being able to enjoy anything ever again.

king of the internet · « **Reply #27 on:** July 17, 2013, 02:09:24 PM »

It's the new ketchup!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303299604577323653752204874.html

Positive Touch · « **Reply #28 on:** July 17, 2013, 05:19:47 PM »

gotta mix that ranch and hot sauce up; thats how the wife does it

surprised no ones tried marketing that yet

Positive Touch · « **Reply #29 on:** July 17, 2013, 05:20:27 PM »

holy fuck i want some chicken wings now

Am_I_Anonymous · « **Reply #30 on:** July 17, 2013, 05:31:59 PM »

Ranch dressing is used by hillbillies to mix with their A1 sauce to ruin steak salads.

Real people use oil an vinegar.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #31 on:** July 17, 2013, 06:42:31 PM »

Quote from: Am_I_Anonymous on July 17, 2013, 05:31:59 PM

Ranch dressing is used by hillbillies to mix with their A1 sauce to ruin steak salads.

Real people use oil an vinegar.

Quote from: Positive Touch on July 12, 2013, 07:36:27 AM

lennedsay: I've heard people use ranch to shit on both white people and black people, as if it's a low-class class condiment that only stupid people enjoy. this is clearly a lie spread by scum who hate good food and happiness.

Bebpo · « **Reply #32 on:** July 17, 2013, 06:58:47 PM »

Ranch is pretty gross. Only goes lightly with buffalo wings. If you get too much ranch on the wings that it overpowers the buffalo sauce it's nasty. Same with Mayonnaise, I've never gotten the appeal.

BBQ sauce, now that's where it's at. Goes with everything. Perfect dipping sauce.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #33 on:** July 17, 2013, 07:23:35 PM »

Ranch is supposed to be used for dipping fried things in. Come on, special fellow-lords, stop putting it on your friggen' lady salads and man up.

Positive Touch · « **Reply #34 on:** July 17, 2013, 09:45:58 PM »

wife randomly bought home hot wings with a big ol thing of ranch on the side yessss YESSSS

Madrun Badrun · « **Reply #35 on:** July 17, 2013, 10:59:25 PM »

True fact: The civil unrest caused by not having Ranch dressing was the cause of WW1.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #36 on:** July 17, 2013, 11:08:24 PM »

Quote from: Great Rumbler on July 17, 2013, 07:23:35 PM

Ranch is supposed to be used for dipping fried things in. Come on, special fellow-lords, stop putting it on you friggen' lady salads and man up.

ranch and fries

naff · « **Reply #37 on:** July 18, 2013, 12:00:27 AM »

Crab dip and fries > *

drew · « **Reply #38 on:** July 18, 2013, 12:21:44 AM »

yeah the waitresses at my old job always tried to turn people onto dipping fries into our chipotle mayo. no thanks.

chronovore · « **Reply #39 on:** July 18, 2013, 12:41:08 AM »

I thought it was hilarious that buffalo wings came with additional Ranch Dressing. The things are covered in sauce already. Why you need mør saus?

Then I tried it.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #40 on:** July 18, 2013, 12:46:26 AM »

Quote from: Positive Touch on July 17, 2013, 09:45:58 PM

wife randomly bought home hot wings with a big ol thing of ranch on the side yessss YESSSS

I'd say put a ring on it, but you already did

chronovore · « **Reply #41 on:** July 18, 2013, 02:24:14 AM »

Fries in cider vinegar are the best.

Cerveza mas fina · « **Reply #42 on:** July 18, 2013, 03:14:31 AM »

Cheese Garlic Fries, and Irish staple

Quote from: chronovore on July 18, 2013, 02:24:14 AM

Fries in cider vinegar are the best.

vinegar on fries

hampster · « **Reply #43 on:** July 18, 2013, 12:08:40 PM »

Fries with Old Bay

lennedsay · « **Reply #44 on:** July 18, 2013, 08:28:44 PM »

Ok now Greek seasoning is something I can get behind. I used to make my own blend, but I'll buy it. MSG and all.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #45 on:** July 18, 2013, 08:32:36 PM »

Since we're halfway talking about dips anyway, holy fucking shit is this stuff good:

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #46 on:** July 18, 2013, 08:34:10 PM »

Also, sweet potato fries and curry ketchup

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #47 on:** July 18, 2013, 08:39:14 PM »

Curry ketchup is the jam. I make my own by mixing a bit of curry powder in with ketchup.

Can't get behind vinegar on ANYTHING tho.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #48 on:** July 18, 2013, 08:49:09 PM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on July 18, 2013, 08:34:10 PM

Also, sweet potato fries and curry ketchup

bro. BRO

We need to hang out one day. Just going to random stores picking up snacks. No real food. Just various cheeses, crackers, fries, kettle chips, etc. omg

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Author Topic: International Bore: A Beginners Guide to Ranch Dressing (Read 5824 times)