Author Topic: New Batman cast, nerds annihilated (Read 11262 times)

Barry Egan · « **Reply #60 on:** August 23, 2013, 07:52:09 AM »

Quote from: Mandark on August 23, 2013, 12:43:47 AM

Quote from: Barry Egan on August 22, 2013, 11:20:03 PM
I'm imagining the sly call back to "It's Turkey Time!" that the writers will inevitably throw in the movie, but everything I've come up with is just way too on the nose $:-\$

Opens with Selina Kyle in Arkham Asylum's female wing. She plans to escape by seducing a guard. Checking her lipstick in a mirror shard she's stashed behind a loose brick, she pouts and says "it's turnkey time."

see, I was hung up on the fact that she wears a cat costume, but "it's pussy time" just seems like a bit much for a romantic scene in a kids movie.

Brehvolution · « **Reply #61 on:** August 23, 2013, 09:30:17 AM »

Is Matt Damon gonna be Robin?

Get janeane garofalo as batwoman and george carlin as the commisioner and call it Batma™.

hampster · « **Reply #62 on:** August 23, 2013, 09:37:45 AM »

I was still holding out hope they would bring Michael Keaton back :'(

king of the internet · « **Reply #63 on:** August 23, 2013, 09:55:11 AM »

Honestly, I'm okay with this. Batman doesn't seem to be in Affleck's range, but I'll give him a chance. Unconventional casting is always fun, at least they didn't go with some b-list turd like Karl Urban.

Plus I kinda want this movie to suck just because I'm an asshole and like to see people on the internet get upset.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #64 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:31:04 AM »

They should just paint his old Daredevil costume black, slap a bat symbol sticker on the front, and tie a beach towel around his neck. I'd preorder tickets just to soak in the flood of nerd tears inside the theater.

Eric P · « **Reply #65 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:57:46 AM »

chronovore · « **Reply #66 on:** August 23, 2013, 11:01:43 AM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on August 23, 2013, 10:31:04 AM

They should just paint his old Daredevil costume black, slap a bat symbol sticker on the front, and tie a beach towel around his neck. I'd preorder tickets just to soak in the flood of nerd tears inside the theater.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #67 on:** August 23, 2013, 11:30:55 AM »

I'm fine with any choice that will rustle the jimmies of Nolan fans.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #68 on:** August 23, 2013, 12:20:19 PM »

I wonder if Superman/Batman will fight each other before they team up to stop a bigger threat

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #69 on:** August 23, 2013, 12:21:46 PM »

man I dunno why I'm on such a rampage. I guess the Nolan Batman movies are just SO TERRIBLE they make me really opposed to the idea of caring about a Batman movie. but there's lots of good Batman comics so it's possible to do something interesting with the character. Snyder won't, of course...but it's possible.

Polari · « **Reply #70 on:** August 23, 2013, 12:22:52 PM »

Casting wise it's been all downhill since Keaton. I'll grant you Bale was an improvement on Kilmer and Clooney but there's not much man woman or dog that wouldn't be.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #71 on:** August 23, 2013, 12:42:32 PM »

Quote from: Polari on August 23, 2013, 12:22:52 PM

Casting wise it's been all downhill since Keaton. I'll grant you Bale was an improvement on Kilmer and Clooney but there's not much man woman or dog that wouldn't be.

Ledger as the Joker and Hathaway as Catwoman were brilliant choices, though.

And, come on, Gary Oldman as Gordon is god-tier casting.

Mandark · « **Reply #72 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:01:21 PM »

This is turning into one of those things where everyone gets butthurt but declares that they're really having a fine old time watching everyone else get butthurt, isn't it? Pretty soon I won't be able to keep track of the rustle and counter-rustle.

Anyways, in the spirit of TVC 15's Dane Cook Ghostbusters remake, what are some worst-case-scenario casting choices? I'll kick it off with Jeff Dunham as The Ventriloquist.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Anyone taking the easy punchline of naming someone who was actually cast in a Schumacher/Nolan Batman movie gets a preemptive

[close]

Eric P · « **Reply #73 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:09:01 PM »

kanye west as anarky

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #74 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:09:18 PM »

Lindsay Lohan as Wonder Woman or Catwoman or anything
Daniel Tosh as The Riddler
Anyone as Aquaman, because Aquaman
Jamarcus Russell as the Flash
Anyone as Green Lantern or Green Arrow, because those characters just suck

...actually most of the roster of JLA sucks throughout time.

Steve Contra · « **Reply #75 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:09:28 PM »

Carlos Mencia as the Penguin

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #76 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:10:10 PM »

Samuel L Jackson as Alfred

cool breeze · « **Reply #77 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:12:38 PM »

will ferrel as calender man

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #78 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:15:49 PM »

The funniest thing is that there's almost no way Affleck could possibly be a worse Batman than Christian Bale. He could be a far worse Bruce Wayne, but I can't imagine Affleck doing anything as stupid as Bale's Batman voice.

Himu · « **Reply #79 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:18:40 PM »

I still can't picture Ben Affleck as fucking Batman. I just can't. I hope he does a good job and this is a case of Heath Ledgers Joker role where nerds are just wrong but still. It is Ben fucking Affleck.

cool breeze · « **Reply #80 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:22:54 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 23, 2013, 01:15:49 PM

The funniest thing is that there's almost no way Affleck could possibly be a worse Batman than Christian Bale. He could be a far worse Bruce Wayne, but I can't imagine Affleck doing anything as stupid as Bale's Batman voice.

They made (OSCAR WINNER) Bale's batman voice ~~worse~~ gruffer after the fact. And he's not the only character in the trilogy who's hard to understand.

TakingBackSunday · « **Reply #81 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:30:12 PM »

"im gud at cackoolashion"

Human Snorenado · « **Reply #82 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:30:29 PM »

Edward Snowden as the Riddler for maximum rustlage

Mandark · « **Reply #83 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:35:50 PM »

Kevin James as bumblin' Harvey Bullock.

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #84 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:47:44 PM »

Justin Bieber as Robin.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #85 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:54:47 PM »

Miley Cyrus as Batgirl

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #86 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:56:15 PM »

Symbios as The Penguin

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #87 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:56:15 PM »

Kevin Smith as Brainiac

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #88 on:** August 23, 2013, 01:59:33 PM »

Lady GaGa as Poison Ivy

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #89 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:03:36 PM »

Robin Williams as Commissioner Gordon

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #90 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:12:15 PM »

Heath Ledger as Black Lantern Joker

Eric P · « **Reply #91 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:23:07 PM »

Elijah Wood as Spider-Man
VJ Kennedy as Vicki Vale

nudemacusers · « **Reply #92 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:23:14 PM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on August 23, 2013, 01:54:47 PM

Miley Cyrus as Batgirl

Diunx · « **Reply #93 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:41:16 PM »

Vin Diesel as a mostly shirtless Lex Luthor

cool breeze · « **Reply #94 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:41:21 PM »

Idris Elba as Thomas Wayne

Steve Contra · « **Reply #95 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM »

For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

Eric P · « **Reply #96 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:51:30 PM »

kevin hart is bruce wayne
terry crews is batman

spoiler (click to show/hide)

wayne brady as superman

[close]

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #97 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:52:34 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM

For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

Denzel Washington as Adolf Hitler in Captain America 2

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #98 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:52:51 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM

For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

Slave owners or people that leave generous tips.

cool breeze · « **Reply #99 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:52:52 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM

For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

The Butler's post-credit scene is Forest Whitaker getting a new job in Gotham

Brehvolution · « **Reply #100 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:57:09 PM »

Peter Dinklage as the Hulk

Verdigris Murder · « **Reply #101 on:** August 23, 2013, 02:58:34 PM »

Quote from: fryinghigh on August 23, 2013, 02:52:52 PM

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM
For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

The Butler's post-credit scene is Forest Whitaker getting a new job in Gotham

As Bruce Wayne's love interest.

Diunx · « **Reply #102 on:** August 23, 2013, 03:03:08 PM »

Quote from: Verdigris Murder on August 23, 2013, 02:52:51 PM

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM
For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white
Slave owners or people that leave generous tips.

Mandark · « **Reply #103 on:** August 23, 2013, 03:04:08 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM

For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

Black re-casting seems reserved for supporting roles. Specifically, alleged authority figures who are completely ineffectual in bossing or reigning in the heroes (Nick Fury, Perry White, The Kingpin). I vote we call this David Palmer Syndrome, and nominate Danny Glover/Carl Weathers/Yaphet Kotto/Billy Dee Williams/Clark Johnson/Ernie Hudson/Ice Cube/Bill Russell for the role of Jim Gordon.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #104 on:** August 23, 2013, 03:11:40 PM »

Jennifer Lopez as Talia al Ghul

Mandark · « **Reply #105 on:** August 23, 2013, 03:14:53 PM »

Back when Affleck and Lopez were together, there was a rumor they were looking to star in a Casablanca remake.

scanners.jpg

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #106 on:** August 23, 2013, 03:22:41 PM »

more seriously I want to see Jim Broadbent as Professor Pyg.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #107 on:** August 23, 2013, 03:25:13 PM »

Christian Bale as Daredevil in Elektra 2, starring Anne Hathaway

CatsCatsCats · « **Reply #108 on:** August 23, 2013, 05:37:50 PM »

Lol DC

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #109 on:** August 23, 2013, 06:36:14 PM »

Make the next Superman black.

Ultimate rage.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #110 on:** August 23, 2013, 06:42:27 PM »

Jim Gaffigan as The Black Panther

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #111 on:** August 23, 2013, 06:44:24 PM »

Make two face interracial. Black and white but it's like half of his body is white, the other black. Don't tell anyone which is the "bad" side. Watch the schadenfreude ensue.

Bebpo · « **Reply #112 on:** August 23, 2013, 06:44:36 PM »

I like Ben Affleck.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #113 on:** August 23, 2013, 07:05:20 PM »

Apparently Bryan Cranston is going to be Lex Luthor?

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #114 on:** August 23, 2013, 07:50:42 PM »

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM

For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

Idris Elba and Kerry Washington as Bruce Wayne's parents; he was adopted.

Shadow Mod · « **Reply #115 on:** August 23, 2013, 07:53:29 PM »

Make some characters asian and hispanic too.

cool breeze · « **Reply #116 on:** August 23, 2013, 08:49:20 PM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on August 23, 2013, 07:05:20 PM

Apparently Bryan Cranston is going to be Lex Luthor?

Rumor somewhere between fan casting and he said she said. Consider that Affleck wasn't one of the dozen or so rumored actors for Batman since the announcement. Some people were sure that Orlando Bloom would be the next Batman.

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #117 on:** August 23, 2013, 11:11:36 PM »

Quote from: Needs More Cowbell on August 23, 2013, 07:53:29 PM

Make some characters asian and hispanic too.

Chow Yun-fat as Egg Fu.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #118 on:** August 23, 2013, 11:29:37 PM »

Quote from: Phoenix Dark on August 23, 2013, 07:50:42 PM

Quote from: Steve Contra on August 23, 2013, 02:46:29 PM
For maximum over-rustle just cast any black guy in a role that's been historically been white

Idris Elba and Kerry Washington as Bruce Wayne's parents; he was adopted.
(Image removed from quote.)

Fortunately they'll be dead asap

Oblivion · « **Reply #119 on:** August 24, 2013, 12:37:16 AM »

Chris Tucker as Robin.

News:

Author Topic: New Batman cast, nerds annihilated (Read 11262 times)