i hate baseball

[CajoleJuice]

triumph knows why

spoiler (click to show/hide)

http://espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/story/_/id/9602399/matt-harvey-new-york-mets-partial-tear-elbow

[close]

 :'(  

[Himu]

Can't blame you. The Astros have the worst record of any mlb team since 2005.

[Steve Contra]

Drats, the Mets are going to miss the postseason now!

[El Babua]

As a Marlins fan, Jeffrey Loria single-handedly ruined the game of Baseball for me.

[CajoleJuice]

As a Marlins fan, Jeffrey Loria single-handedly ruined the game of Baseball for me.

They have two World Series titles in the past 20 seasons! More than any team other than the Yankees, Cardinals, Red Sox, or Giants. He does suck, though.

[Himu]

cajole did you look up that stat or was it already infused into your brain

[Human Snorenado]

I'd bet he already knew.  I did.

And yeah, I'm sorry man.  That sucks.  Waiting to hear if Beachy's elbow is shit again now too. 

[Himu]

what kind of baseball stats do you pull out while eating your gf to get her wet cajole

[Verdigris Murder]

Take his mind apart himuro.

[Robo]

what kind of baseball stats do you pull out while eating your gf to get her wet cajole

I like to explain how DRS works because I get to make stuff up—sexy stuff.

[Human Snorenado]

i thought this was an actual baseball hate thread

baseball sucks dick. I live in one of the greatest baseball towns to ever do it and it's awful. It's a boring, slow, agonizingly stupid game that exists pretty much to get stats nerds wet and as a background for getting drunk. Despite the fact that the majority of playing baseball consists of sitting around with your hand in your pubes, it somehow manages to cause more injuries than geriatric orgies, and is pretty much the poster boy for PED use. if someone tells me their favorite sport is baseball, I pretty much assume that they're a fucking faggit. Too many games. Games that are too long. Baseball players are pretty much douchebags with beards that sit around dipping and eating and patting each others asses all day. This sport is so stupid, it can't even decide on uniform dimensions to play the game on nor identical rules for both leagues.

You're not a REAL AMERICAN like my Puerto Rican friend.  You wouldn't understand. 

[El Babua]

As a Marlins fan, Jeffrey Loria single-handedly ruined the game of Baseball for me.

They have two World Series titles in the past 20 seasons! More than any team other than the Yankees, Cardinals, Red Sox, or Giants. He does suck, though.

True. But those wins ring more hollow as each year passes since we never made the playoffs since. Made worse by the fire sales. Hell, we've only fielded 4 .500+ teams the last 10 seasons. And each time we do, Loria decides to sell the core team down the river every time they get a little to expensive.

this sport is so stupid, it can't even decide on uniform dimensions to play the game on nor identical rules for both leagues.

You say it like it's a bad thing, b.

[Positive Touch]

in st louis expressing disgust at the cardinals will get you shunned and possibly beat up if there are bros around. if you dont follow their games then you will be shut out of 90% of work talk during the season. i know SO MANY people whos entire personality is centered solely around lifelong cardinal worship.


i do like cracker jacks tho

[TakingBackSunday]

go pirates

[CajoleJuice]

go pirates

do you wear steelers gear to pirates games like hars0n

also, i want to go to a game with triumph some time. maybe when i am over this

[Flannel Boy]

I'm so sorry Cajole. 

[Human Snorenado]

I'll be traveling a lot next year... including going to Cooperstown in late July next summer to see three Braves inducted into the HoF.

[tiesto]

I liked baseball better when it was fat out of shape dudes who played, not these HGH infused guys...

I can tolerate the sport, but could never sit intently focused on a game like I can do with hockey or certain football games.

[Huff]

baseballs better when you just have a minor league team in your city and you use it as place to get really drunk.

[Positive Touch]

obligatory

[lennedsay]

in st louis expressing disgust at the cardinals will get you shunned and possibly beat up if there are bros around. if you dont follow their games then you will be shut out of 90% of work talk during the season. i know SO MANY people whos entire personality is centered solely around lifelong cardinal worship.


i do like cracker jacks tho

how about the blues?

You have to actually be dedicated to like the Blues. There are definitely complete Blues fanatics like there are Cardinals fanatics, but it's few and far between in comparison with vast number of Cards fans.

Typical Cardinals fans, aka most St Louisans, only pay attention to the Blues when they're doing well, and as soon as shit goes south, their fair-weathered fandom dies. As a Blues fan, it's grating to hear people freaking out over the Blues doing great who typically don't give a shit 99.9% of the time, and you know in a few weeks they'll be back to the "fuck the blues they suck cause they aren't world champions like the CARDS bro" mentality. You will literally hear no one talk about the Blues for weeks or months, then when they have a streak, people perk up and remember we actually have a hockey team. Then right back to talking shit about them.

Aside from a few diehard fans, most Cards fans I know just seem to like it for no real reason other than it's socially preferred. It's just what people do here. Come home from their mundane job, crack open a Bud Light and turn on the game. If they lived anywhere else, they'd probably never pay attention to baseball. But their friends are into it and they're boring Midwest folk with nothing better to talk about, other than the varied weather. You just buy the tees and the jackets because everybody wears Cards apparel here, and everybody talks about the players and the games, and everybody shits on the Cubs. If you score Cubs vs Cards tickets, you're definitely the coolest person out of all your FB friends. It just seems like one of those mindless things people watch and talk about and get into. For most people at least.

Us Blues fans (all 4 of us) are pretty much like Cubs fans. and Cards fans are pretty much like Blackhawks fans, or even worse, Red Wings fans.

[ToxicAdam]

I love baseball fans, because you can degrade their sport or call it shitty and they just shrug it off. "Yea, I guess you're right."

Any other sporting fan you do that with and they launch into a 10 minute dissertation on why their sport is the best and far superior to others.

[Phoenix Dark]

Comerica Park is pretty damn nice, I've been to a few games. But I can't say I enjoy watching. Honestly I'd rather listen to people talk about baseball on the radio than listen to an actual baseball game, or watch one. My favorite local sports show spends a lot of time talking about the Tigers.


I like the drama, and hearing people talk about it at work. And I like pretending like I watch baseball by quoting various stats.

[hampster]

in st louis expressing disgust at the cardinals will get you shunned and possibly beat up if there are bros around. if you dont follow their games then you will be shut out of 90% of work talk during the season. i know SO MANY people whos entire personality is centered solely around lifelong cardinal worship.


i do like cracker jacks tho

When I lived in St. Louis and the Cardinals were in the world series my kid was the only one who didn't wear red to school. How was I supposed to know

I had to go out that night and buy cardinals shirts for the rest of the week so they wouldn't feel embarrassed

[Brehvolution]

in st louis expressing disgust at the cardinals will get you shunned and possibly beat up if there are bros around. if you dont follow their games then you will be shut out of 90% of work talk during the season. i know SO MANY people whos entire personality is centered solely around lifelong cardinal worship.


i do like cracker jacks tho

With the Rams being the alternative, this doesn't really seem abnormal.

[CajoleJuice]

PD, this blow-up is pretty famous in NY:



Loses it at ~2 minutes.

[Sausage]

How can this not be the best baseball rant of all time?



Rant starts around 7 minutes in

[recursivelyenumerable]

Yeah, I don't really care about baseball, but having grown up in St. Louis I feel obligated to act interested to not disappoint my dad too much

[Joe Molotov]

Don't worry, Cajole, every little thing's gonna be all right.

[CajoleJuice]

How can this not be the best baseball rant of all time?



Rant starts around 7 minutes in

Thought about posting this too. So sad that Russo left WFAN just before the Giants won two World Series.

Also, that GIF

[TakingBackSunday]

go pirates

do you wear steelers gear to pirates games like hars0n

also, i want to go to a game with triumph some time. maybe when i am over this

I haven't been to a pirates game since 2010 unfortunately.  I have a Pirates ballcap from the early 90s signed by not-PED Barry Bonds though so thats pretty cool.

[Himu]

i thought this was an actual baseball hate thread

baseball sucks dick. I live in one of the greatest baseball towns to ever do it and it's awful. It's a boring, slow, agonizingly stupid game that exists pretty much to get stats nerds wet and as a background for getting drunk. Despite the fact that the majority of playing baseball consists of sitting around with your hand in your pubes, it somehow manages to cause more injuries than geriatric orgies, and is pretty much the poster boy for PED use. if someone tells me their favorite sport is baseball, I pretty much assume that they're a fucking faggit. Too many games. Games that are too long. Baseball players are pretty much douchebags with beards that sit around dipping and eating and patting each others asses all day. This sport is so stupid, it can't even decide on uniform dimensions to play the game on nor identical rules for both leagues.

Real talk. When I played little league it was never fun. Practice was hell. I played left field and it was the most boring thing. Our dads would yell at us from behind the fence to watch the ball and not dawdle, me and center field dude used to get along well for that reason.

That said I appreciate watching baseball. It is a fun sport to watch. But playing, depending on the position, is just a bunch of standing around.

[Sausage]

i thought this was an actual baseball hate thread

baseball sucks dick. I live in one of the greatest baseball towns to ever do it and it's awful. It's a boring, slow, agonizingly stupid game that exists pretty much to get stats nerds wet and as a background for getting drunk. Despite the fact that the majority of playing baseball consists of sitting around with your hand in your pubes, it somehow manages to cause more injuries than geriatric orgies, and is pretty much the poster boy for PED use. if someone tells me their favorite sport is baseball, I pretty much assume that they're a fucking faggit. Too many games. Games that are too long. Baseball players are pretty much douchebags with beards that sit around dipping and eating and patting each others asses all day. This sport is so stupid, it can't even decide on uniform dimensions to play the game on nor identical rules for both leagues.

Real talk. When I played little league it was never fun. Practice was hell. I played left field and it was the most boring thing. Our dads would yell at us from behind the fence to watch the ball and not dawdle, me and center field dude used to get along well for that reason.

That said I appreciate watching baseball. It is a fun sport to watch. But playing, depending on the position, is just a bunch of standing around.

lol you played left field in little league. You probably sucked ass.

[lennedsay]

in st louis expressing disgust at the cardinals will get you shunned and possibly beat up if there are bros around. if you dont follow their games then you will be shut out of 90% of work talk during the season. i know SO MANY people whos entire personality is centered solely around lifelong cardinal worship.


i do like cracker jacks tho

When I lived in St. Louis and the Cardinals were in the world series my kid was the only one who didn't wear red to school. How was I supposed to know

I had to go out that night and buy cardinals shirts for the rest of the week so they wouldn't feel embarrassed

Poor kids... They probably hate you now for being the cause of their endless teasing...

We have days at work we can wear Cardinals apparel rather than business clothes. I ended up just buying a red shirt so I can wear jeans and fit in just enough to not be harassed where my CARDS SHIRT IS BRO.

[Himu]

i thought this was an actual baseball hate thread

baseball sucks dick. I live in one of the greatest baseball towns to ever do it and it's awful. It's a boring, slow, agonizingly stupid game that exists pretty much to get stats nerds wet and as a background for getting drunk. Despite the fact that the majority of playing baseball consists of sitting around with your hand in your pubes, it somehow manages to cause more injuries than geriatric orgies, and is pretty much the poster boy for PED use. if someone tells me their favorite sport is baseball, I pretty much assume that they're a fucking faggit. Too many games. Games that are too long. Baseball players are pretty much douchebags with beards that sit around dipping and eating and patting each others asses all day. This sport is so stupid, it can't even decide on uniform dimensions to play the game on nor identical rules for both leagues.

Real talk. When I played little league it was never fun. Practice was hell. I played left field and it was the most boring thing. Our dads would yell at us from behind the fence to watch the ball and not dawdle, me and center field dude used to get along well for that reason.

That said I appreciate watching baseball. It is a fun sport to watch. But playing, depending on the position, is just a bunch of standing around.

lol you played left field in little league. You probably sucked ass.

And? I was 6 gears old. Everyone sucked ass.

[nudemacusers]

I was really good at little league baseball fuck you 

[Freyj]

You have to actually be dedicated to like the Blues. There are definitely complete Blues fanatics like there are Cardinals fanatics, but it's few and far between in comparison with vast number of Cards fans.

Typical Cardinals fans, aka most St Louisans, only pay attention to the Blues when they're doing well, and as soon as shit goes south, their fair-weathered fandom dies. As a Blues fan, it's grating to hear people freaking out over the Blues doing great who typically don't give a shit 99.9% of the time, and you know in a few weeks they'll be back to the "fuck the blues they suck cause they aren't world champions like the CARDS bro" mentality. You will literally hear no one talk about the Blues for weeks or months, then when they have a streak, people perk up and remember we actually have a hockey team. Then right back to talking shit about them.

Aside from a few diehard fans, most Cards fans I know just seem to like it for no real reason other than it's socially preferred. It's just what people do here. Come home from their mundane job, crack open a Bud Light and turn on the game. If they lived anywhere else, they'd probably never pay attention to baseball. But their friends are into it and they're boring Midwest folk with nothing better to talk about, other than the varied weather. You just buy the tees and the jackets because everybody wears Cards apparel here, and everybody talks about the players and the games, and everybody shits on the Cubs. If you score Cubs vs Cards tickets, you're definitely the coolest person out of all your FB friends. It just seems like one of those mindless things people watch and talk about and get into. For most people at least.

Us Blues fans (all 4 of us) are pretty much like Cubs fans. and Cards fans are pretty much like Blackhawks fans, or even worse, Red Wings fans.

Hawks fans are easily overtaking Detroit fans of late.

You pretty much have to be a masochist to be a Blues fan. Years of build up, potential potential potential, and a first/second round exit. Rebuild, rinse wash repeat. Doesn't really fit the fair-weather sports crowd.

[CajoleJuice]

this thread is a nice example of why there are like 4 black players in mlb

(eschaton is black, right?)

[nudemacusers]

The only browns we let into america's pastime are dominican

[Human Snorenado]

this thread is a nice example of why there are like 4 black players in mlb

(eschaton is black, right?)

and 3/4 of them are the Braves' OF

[Huff]

being bad at baseball can be construed as nothing but positive

you must have really sucked at little league

right field, amirite

[nudemacusers]

this thread is a nice example of why there are like 4 black players in mlb

(eschaton is black, right?)

and 3/4 of them are the Braves' OF

and people say incarceration rates aren't higher for blacks.

[CajoleJuice]

this thread is a nice example of why there are like 4 black players in mlb

(eschaton is black, right?)

He's Paki, but close enough.

shit. i actually had no idea, but i saw the "#DarkSkinMonopoly" thing in his profile and just went from there. now i get the cricket question.

[nudemacusers]

this thread is a nice example of why there are like 4 black players in mlb

(eschaton is black, right?)

He's Paki, but close enough.

shit. i actually had no idea, but i saw the "#DarkSkinMonopoly" thing in his profile and just went from there. now i get the cricket question.

[Himu]

Huff confirmed to be the coaches son who was first base

[Sausage]

being bad at baseball can be construed as nothing but positive

you must have really sucked at little league

right field, amirite

Playing outfield in Little League just meant the coach wanted you nowhere near the baseball

[Himu]

There is only one #dsm and it ain't a psychology book.

[Huff]

Huff confirmed to be the coaches son who was first base

Too short for that jam

[hampster]

I was really good at little league baseball fuck you 

I got so bored one game I stopped paying attention and a baseball hit me in the face

Stupid game

[ToxicAdam]

Organized baseball is what you did to pass the time between wiffle ball games & strikeout. That's where the real love was born.

Dropping that curve ball that falls into the box for strike three as the batter is bailing out because he thinks he's going to get hit in the face. Feelsgreat.

[Phoenix Dark]

I have tee ball and regular baseball trophies from when I was a kid. And I used to watch the Tigers with my granddad when I was little; he was a big fan, as were my grandmothers. But by the time I turned like 9 or 10 my focus turned 100% to basketball.

[Himu]

Baseball was my first sport and by 8 I was a Houston Rockets nut. Basketball all the time, every time.

[TakingBackSunday]

I was third base in peewees until 3rd grade, by then I realized I was turrible and it wasn't as fun anymore because other players were getting really good and I wasn't.  Played football instead until 7th grade, despite absolutely hating how seriously our town and adults took peewee fucking football.

I was a first string tight end though 

[nudemacusers]

Is peewee full contact or touch?

[Positive Touch]

peewee touch

[nudemacusers]

 

[Phoenix Dark]

I was shooting the breeze with a patient when she mentioned she couldn't wait for Saturday (U of M football), to erase the  bitter taste of the Tigers. I said "but the Tigers are doing pretty good tho..." and she said they lost bad last night. I thought she said they lost 44-4, so I responded "wait, in a baseball game?" She said yes, but seemed surprised by my shock.

Just checked espn, it was 14-4. Now I look like a fool