Masculinity

[Phoenix Dark]

I'm rather reserved irl and not one to express feelings. I don't have any problem with boys being stoic. I'm more concerned about boys falling behind in school because they're too scared to admit they don't understand something, too focused on "being a manly man" which apparently means "fuck school," etc.

That hyper masculine shit seems to have an even worst impact on black boys. When I was a kid I read a lot, played PC games (mainly RTS), liked to cook, and was a huge History Channel fan. At 10-12 I didn't care that peers laughed at my hobbies and said they were girly things. But as a teen I began changing my behavior due to that shit. I played AAU basketball and my team made fun of me for watching the History Channel, so I stopped watching it because of that. They made fun of me for listening to rock music and called me a white girl.

I saw one of my old teammates at the mall a few years ago. I was with a pawg associate, he was working at Foot Locker. Bought a couple pairs of shoes just to stunt on him.

[Your Stalker]

he does seem to simp pawgs a lot doesn't he

[Phoenix Dark]

Papi we made it, my bitches can't get wetter
Just bought a Foot Locker and told them to do better
It's PDizzy season I'm bringing the whole team
Diamonds on my wrist fucking the girl of your dream
Watching History Channel, my girl wears Chanel
Teasing me with underboob under the flannel
Oh lord how do I eat so well
Fresh curry from the chef call him Patel

[Diunx]

Drake is so bad that I can't tell if that is a real verse or a PD parody.

[Mupepe]

I stopped listening to Michael Jackson in high school because it was considered gay music. When I got out of high school I started driving around blasting remember the time with the windows down not giving a fuck

edit: keep in mind that MJ has always been GOAT in my mind. Even during high school.

[Shaka Khan]

I stopped listening to Michael Jackson in high school because it was considered gay music. When I got out of high school I started driving around blasting remember the time with the windows down not giving a fuck

[Mupepe]

Bad is probably the song I like least off his classic albums. Still a good song by any standard but it is noticeably worse than everything else on the album or at best on par with just good friends

[Phoenix Dark]

Drake is so bad that I can't tell if that is a real verse or a PD parody.

[Mupepe]

Drake was pretty funny on SNL last night. The resolutions song was really funny. I had never heard his music before but my god it is fucking awful.

[Your Stalker]

He got to touch Jhene Aiko?

[Phoenix Dark]

He got to touch Jhene Aiko? (Image removed from quote.)

I just want to carry her. Not even fuck, just jump in my arms and let me carry you girl

[Your Stalker]

what's with that poverty frank ocean smiley tho

[Your Stalker]

 

[Shaka Khan]

The only argument I can raise against this documentary is that it poses a slippery slope towards Bronyism. I'm sorry but that shit is...

[Himu]

I stopped listening to Michael Jackson in high school because it was considered gay music. When I got out of high school I started driving around blasting remember the time with the windows down not giving a fuck

edit: keep in mind that MJ has always been GOAT in my mind. Even during high school.

I never called MJ gay.

[Phoenix Dark]

Texas

everybody liked MJ when I was a kid brehs. We joked about him banging kids but gave him dap. Pause.

[Himu]

Everyone liked MJ as a kid but as a teenager?

[Phoenix Dark]

Same. I don't remember many teens I knew disliking MJ's music or finding it corny.

[Mupepe]

MJ was "homo" music growing up as a teenager. Only my really close friends knew I was gay for him. For some reason I had no problem telling everyone Matchbox 20 was fabulous though.

Edit: I didn't even tell anyone when I got the invincible cd for Christmas. Shame because it was so damn good.

[Phoenix Dark]

Speaking of masculinity, I hid my Matchbox 20 love


so many classics, brehs

[Mupepe]

Speaking of masculinity, I hid my Matchbox 20 love


so many classics, brehs

Rest Stop
Leave
Hang

[Diunx]

This thread certainly took a turn into the homo.

[Phoenix Dark]

[Himu]

MATCHBOX TWENTY

[Mupepe]

This is the song that got me into them. The single came out and that Christmas I got the 3 doors down and MB20 cd. I remember being surprised by how fucking good the entire album was. Its still perfect after all these years too. I have fond memories of listening to it while playing FF9

[Atramental]

This thread certainly took a turn into the homo.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

Confession: I love script fonts. The "girlier" the better.

edit: except for Curls MT. That one can burn in hell.

[close]

[Himu]

who made fun of you for liking mj in hs, mups

[Mupepe]

No one. I just know it wasn't cool so I kept hidden for the most part. I was afraid of potential teasing I guess

[Shadow Mod]

Drake is just a whole other level of sad.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

Drake is extremely boring.  I wouldn't say he sucks but there's nothing that really compels me to listen to him.

I'm rather reserved irl and not one to express feelings. I don't have any problem with boys being stoic. I'm more concerned about boys falling behind in school because they're too scared to admit they don't understand something, too focused on "being a manly man" which apparently means "fuck school," etc.

That hyper masculine shit seems to have an even worst impact on black boys. When I was a kid I read a lot, played PC games (mainly RTS), liked to cook, and was a huge History Channel fan. At 10-12 I didn't care that peers laughed at my hobbies and said they were girly things. But as a teen I began changing my behavior due to that shit. I played AAU basketball and my team made fun of me for watching the History Channel, so I stopped watching it because of that. They made fun of me for listening to rock music and called me a white girl.

I saw one of my old teammates at the mall a few years ago. I was with a pawg associate, he was working at Foot Locker. Bought a couple pairs of shoes just to stunt on him.

It's not much different with white boys.  By white boys, I don't mean the Patel/Cohen effete handflapping whities who went to magnet/private schools, I mean the underclass.  It's no different and I caught all kinds of shit for reading, writing, and knowing information about things, even if it was useless trivia.  Listening to anything other than Disturbed or Papa Roach meant you were a cigarillo.  Most of them didn't do shit with their lives because anything resembling ambition was shit upon.  Now most of them talk shit about anyone who did have ambition while they've been effectively spinning their wheels in place for 10 years.  Too bad so sad.

[Rufus]

It's not much different with white boys.  By white boys, I don't mean the Patel/Cohen effete handflapping whities who went to magnet/private schools, I mean the underclass.  It's no different and I caught all kinds of shit for reading, writing, and knowing information about things, even if it was useless trivia.  Listening to anything other than Disturbed or Papa Roach meant you were a cigarillo.  Most of them didn't do shit with their lives because anything resembling ambition was shit upon.  Now most of them talk shit about anyone who did have ambition while they've been effectively spinning their wheels in place for 10 years.  Too bad so sad.

Oh god, the parent hating bands.

[Himu]

What about Sum41?

[Skidmark]

I never saw anything wrong with a man sharing his feels and all, but I also never felt pressure to be ultra macho. I am what would be considered masculine for the most part. I work on cars, I go to the gym, I play sports, I've been the captain of my soccer and basketball team growing up, I know how to fight, I was the oldest so I'm the one who took over responsibilities whenever either of my parents were in a position where they couldn't. While I don't like to share my emotions with anyone unless I know them very well, I don't have a problem telling a guy friend I love him or expressing what I think about something. I also love art and painting, I cook and clean and love both. I've babysat for the endless amounts of cousins I've had before.

Honestly, the typical macho stereotype(ultra competitive, dismissive, etc.) is usually traits you find in a jackass. Yeah, I'm a man who can do manly shit. That doesn't mean that's all I do or all I am. Some guys are soft, that's the way they are and I never picked on someone for that cause it's idiotic.

I do use the words taco, distinguished mentally-challenged fellow and what have you mostly cause I'm a "Words are just words" kind of guy. I'd be the first to apologize if I do offend anyone at the same time.

I have had a similar upbringing, I am curious to know this: In your relationships and friendships do you tend to put your needs on the side and make room for other peoples needs when work needs to be done in your relationships and friendships? Like let us say your girl is not happy with the state of things, do you immediately focus on giving her what she needs so that she can feel better again? like you show her understanding, give her space, don't bother her, help her with her problems, come up with solutions for her difficulties and your needs are put on hold until everything is back to normal? Also, are you somewhat sensitive to criticism in the way that you easily interpret normal closure and dialog as an attack on you and start defending yourself instead of just listening?

Yeah, that's pretty much on the money. I've been much better with the last part in the past few years though.

We seem to share a lot of similarities. Here is something that you might find interesting:

Attachment pattern: Secure
Child:              Uses caregiver as a secure base for exploration. Protests caregiver's departure and seeks proximity and is comforted on return,
                       returning to exploration. May be comforted by the stranger but shows clear preference for the caregiver.   
Care giver:     Responds appropriately, promptly and consistently to needs. Caregiver has successfully formed a secure parental attachment
                       bond to the child.

Attachment pattern: Anxious   
Child:              Clingy, unable to cope with absences of the caregiver. Seeks constant reassurances.
Care giver:     Excessively protective of the child, and unable to allow risk-taking, and steps towards independence.


Attachment pattern: Avoidant
Child:              Little affective sharing in play. Little or no distress on departure, little or no visible response to return,
                       ignoring or turning away with no effort to maintain contact if picked up. Treats the stranger similarly to
                       the caregiver. The child feels that there is no attachment; the child is "rebellious" and has a lower
                       self-image and self-esteem.
Care giver:     Little or no response to distressed child. Discourages crying and encourages independence.


Attachment pattern: Ambivalent/Resistant
Child:              Unable to use caregiver as a secure base, seeking proximity before separation occurs. Distressed on
                        separation with ambivalence, anger, reluctance to warm to caregiver and return to play on return.
                       Preoccupied with caregiver's availability, seeking contact but resisting angrily when it is achieved. Not
                       easily calmed by stranger. In this relationship, the child always feels anxious because the caregiver's
                       availability is never consistent.
Care giver:     Inconsistent between appropriate and neglectful responses. Generally will only respond after increased
                      attachment behavior from the infant.



Attachment pattern: Disorganized
Child:              Stereotypies on return such as freezing or rocking. Lack of coherent attachment strategy shown by
                       contradictory, disoriented behaviours such as approaching but with the back turned.
Care giver:     Frightened or frightening behaviour, intrusiveness, withdrawal, negativity, role confusion, affective
                       communication errors and maltreatment. Very often associated with many forms of abuse towards the child.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory#Attachment_patterns







http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

[brob]

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/10/masculinity-fails-men/

popped up on my twitter feed. not anything particularly new, but neatly written into a single article that touches on a lot of major points.

[Himu]