I just peed myself

[TVC15]

I really do need to make a general anomalous bodily functions thread

[Steve Contra]

How much?

[TVC15]

I was at a urinal and I thought I was finished so I put my junk away. But I wasn't finished. It was more than a mouthful. Not just a few little drips--there was actual pee propulsion that I was not in control of.

I had a meeting immediately after, a one on one in a small office. I spent like 2 minutes at the sink dumping water down my pants.

[king of the internet]

Wait so your pants were completely soaked in the meeting??

[helios]

Getting your pants soaked sounds exactly what that dude in Silicon Valley did

[TVC15]

The front. I made sure I rubbed the water into the fabric and my underwear so it wouldn't look too bad. And honestly, I was more concerned about any smell.

[Phoenix Dark]

breh that shit almost happened to me yesterday, but in a different way. First time I peed at work in the morning I noticed I had a shotgun stream. Pee was going in multiple directions, but it was all going out towards the toilet water so I wasn't concerned. After lunch I peed again, same issue. Then at the end of the day I went one more time and my stream splattered my pants. I stopped peeing, pulled down my pants, sat on the toilet, and unpaused the stream.

I never use urinals unless I HAVE to.

[TVC15]

I prefer urinals because public toilets are gross and people sometimes leave gross things in them. I hate bathrooms in general. I brush my teeth over the kitchen sink because I think it's gross to open your mouth anywhere near a toilet if you're trying to sanitize it. It's counterproductive.

[fistfulofmetal]

so you walked into the meeting with the entire front part of your pants soaking wet?

[Beezy]

I never use urinals unless I HAVE to.

 

[TVC15]

so you walked into the meeting with the entire front part of your pants soaking wet?

Pretty much, but the office the meeting was in was lit only by a desk lamp, so he probably didn't notice. Like I said, dark denim.

[Phoenix Dark]

so you walked into the meeting with the entire front part of your pants soaking wet?

I'd imagine there's a lot of that going on in Seattle right now.

[MyNameIsMethodis]

doesnt that gif end with a tree not a bus

[Kara]

So what you're saying is, dark denim is for closers.

Well not sphincter closers, but you know what I mean.

[TVC15]

Well, dark denim may be for all the time now that I know I'm incontinent. It's either a wardrobe of dark denim or wearing adult diapers. Fuck the ravages of getting old I can only imagine what it's like for Van Cruncheon and Creepy Old Guy. I bet they shit themselves regularly.

[StealthFan]

The worst is when you pee on your balls because you're so fat that your dick has shrunk to the size of a childs pinky.

[drew]

I took a wasted sleepwalk piss in some dudes bathroom (facing the wrong way) about a month ago

[helios]

A few years ago, I dreamed that I needed to pee, so I did.

[TVC15]

I think it might have happened because I pee like 9 times a day due to medication.

[TVC15]

The worst is when you pee on your balls because you're so fat that your dick has shrunk to the size of a childs pinky.

Another year on antipsychotics and I'll be there

[StealthFan]

[Human Snorenado]

Well, dark denim may be for all the time now that I know I'm incontinent. It's either a wardrobe of dark denim or wearing adult diapers. Fuck the ravages of getting old I can only imagine what it's like for Van Cruncheon and Creepy Old Guy. I bet they shit themselves regularly.

I work from home, so these aren't things I need to worry about. When I feel any sort of urge to eliminate, I just get up and walk the 10 feet to the bathroom and take care of it.

[TVC15]

I was in the bathroom. I was in front of a urinal, even.

[Yeti]

[Cerveza mas fina]

Ive had that happen man

[king of the internet]

Peed myself a little this morning. Made me think of you. I made the mistake of going to bed with a full bladder, at some point in my dream I whipped out my dick and started one of those full blast, super satisfying pisses  only to wake up and realize I was also pissing in real life. It was only a minor soak but enough to have to change my drawers.

[Squiddy]

 

*hugs*

[drew]

Knew it.

lol how?

[CatsCatsCats]

A few years ago, I dreamed that I needed to pee, so I did.

Did this when I was 17 and in bed with my then girlfriend

[Broseidon]

i downed like a third of a bottle of rum earlier and i super need to piss right now but im in bed and cant be arsed getting up

pray for me

[Broseidon]

nevermind

[Shadow Mod]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

[Squiddy]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

Female physiology 

[Shadow Mod]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

Female physiology 

Yes it's quite the mystery to those who can't see it up close and in person.

[Rufus]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

Female physiology 

Can happen to men, too.

[chronovore]

This is why I always travel with a C-clamp.

[Barry Egan]

it's amazing how despite all of these TVC threads I still feel more sorry for Atramental.

[TVC15]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

Female physiology 

I thought I heard females could hold it longer?

[Madrun Badrun]

Laughing apparently breaks the seal; have you not seen any elderly diaper commercials?

[Squiddy]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

Female physiology 

I thought I heard females could hold it longer?

Who knows how those mysterious creatures work.
It's not like we can ask one of them 

[G The Resurrected]

I came in here to tell you all that I too have peed myself, while driving home.

[drew]

how does that work?!

[G The Resurrected]

Was going to Target to get some groceries and while driving up to the second floor a kid came down the ramp and hit the car. It happened so quickly I didn't have time to stop and right then I lost my bladder. The dumb kid is ok, but my clothing was tarnished.

[Himu]

Closest I've come to this in a while was peeing a bit because I was laughing too damn much.

Female physiology 

I thought I heard females could hold it longer?

When I cough, pee comes out. When I sneeze, pee comes out.

[chronovore]

I almost made fun of some of you guys yesterday, then I realized I'm closer to Depends than any of you. 

Then I started replaying Dark Souls, found myself ambushed, and nearly leapt ahead to my late 70s.

[drew]

i take the longest pisses known to makind.  yesterday i took one that had to last for two and a half minutes...i've heard other dudes streams and mine isn't like theirs at all, I think it has to do with my adderall years

[naff]

Key is to put your finger at the base of the tube above and slight behind your nuts then shift forward right to the end eliminating the dregs then shake, dabbing optional. Being 26 and not incontinent also probably helps

Edit: I wouldn't really shake either, just a quick squeezing thrust motion with my forefinger and thumb on the top and bottom of the shaft so the drips fly forward not up or down. Caution, this may arouse. How the fuck you dab at a urinal anyway?

[Rufus]

You don't dab at a urinal unless you grab some tp from a stall real quick, provided there is one. And you don't finger your taint at a urinal either.

[drew]

+1 for squeezing your peen like a tube of toothpaste

bonus points for using a wet wad/baby wipes as the third/second to last wipe when you shit

[chronovore]

+1 for Japanese toilets which wash your ass for you.

[Phoenix Dark]

be a non-elderly adult and pee on yourself brehs

[TVC15]

I need to piss but I don't want to walk upstairs.

[king of the internet]

 

[G The Resurrected]

Car officially smells like piss even after I steam cleaned and febreezed the seat...  I can't afford a new car right now.