I got my hand stuck in my kitchen sink's drain

[TVC15]

I forgot to tell you where the title for my story "Life in a Drain" came from.

In short, my kitchen sink drain was blocked so I stuck my hand down it to try and figure out what the fuck was going on. My hand got stuck under a metal rim down there, and my forearm created a vacuum making it even harder to get my hand out. Luckily the garbage disposal in the sink had been broken for weeks. I eventually used a pen within reach to break the vacuum and pull my hand out quickly, which bruised it in two places. It was easily the most exciting thing that's happened in my life since I pissed myself. It was seriously like a 20 minute ordeal and I probably would have called for help had my cell phone been within reach.

[Joe Molotov]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

[Phoenix Dark]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

He had to vomit into the drain to help slip his hand out.

[G The Resurrected]

Sinks are not a place where hands should go. A few years ago we had a brown out while my hand was reaching to get some silverware and the thing turned on. Thankfully for me I was quick enough to get my hand outta there and all that was damaged was the silverware. I don't mess with that crap anymore because I use a proper sink strainer now. Also and I learned this later since I didn't have a garbage disposal all my life till moving here, unplug it before you mess with the sink.

[huckleberry]

I saw a pretty good porn that started with the woman getting her hand stuck in a sink drain. Shame I don't live in Seattle...I could have helped you out.

[TVC15]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

[Phoenix Dark]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

WHAT

[G The Resurrected]

The only time I ever have shit myself was when I was sick as hell. I was sitting reading and had to sneeze and just felt the warm chocolate lava fill the nooks and crannies as it was trying to find a way out of my pants.

[Himu]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

Why can't you poop at work

[G The Resurrected]

I can't poop at work too or use the urinal. I'll piss in the toilet and not the urinal, but then not use the toilet to take a crap in. I hate thinking about all the asses that have touched the seat before me, even with my toilet at home.

[TVC15]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

Why can't you poop at work

Because I can't use public toilets.

[TVC15]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

WHAT

Like it's never happened to you. Be honest.

[king of the internet]

Don't your co-workers wonder why you're bailing out of the office so much? They must think you're bumping lines out in the parking lot or something.

[Brehvolution]

 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

His co-workers are dead

[close]

[TVC15]

Don't your co-workers wonder why you're bailing out of the office so much? They must think you're bumping lines out in the parking lot or something.

I live about 10-15 minutes away, so it's never that bad. It was only 3 and 4 times a day once or twice. It was bad for a week and a half.

[Phoenix Dark]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

WHAT

Like it's never happened to you. Be honest.

I haven't worn white undies in like a decade. I used wear these colored hybrid briefs/boxers things, but they were super flimsy. I still have a pair actually, it's torn to shit with holes everywhere. I'll post a pic of them lol. Now I wear colored boxers so I never have problems.

[TVC15]

I always wear black boxer briefs.

[Kara]

I always wear black boxer briefs.

You're giving me a lot of material for this slash fanfic. *jots down notes*

[TVC15]

What else do you need?

[seagrams hotsauce]

Coulda been worse.

[Squiddy]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

Why can't you poop at work

Because I can't use public toilets.

You can't use public toilets?

[TVC15]

If it took 20 minutes, I assume you vomited and pooped multiple times during that period.

I have NEVER pooped myself, although I ruined a pair of underwear during that phase where I was driving home like 4 times a day to shit. And I wish I was kidding

Why can't you poop at work

Because I can't use public toilets.

You can't use public toilets?

Not to poop. I can't perform if someone else is in the room.

Actually, when I was going through that nasty phase, if it was really early (like 7am) I would use the work toilets since there'd be practically no one here.

[Kara]

I can't perform if someone else is in the room.

*jots down more notes*

[TVC15]

I've mentioned that before! You also know that I generally throw up after taking a shit and have in fact thrown up on my own shit. I have, at least twice, thrown up on myself while on the toilet.

[Raban]

My mom used to drive me to high school and I think one morning in Sophomore year I shat myself on the way there (thought it was a fart at first, and I got way more than even the worst sharts). After it happened I turned to my mom and said "Mom, I think I shit myself..." She couldn't stop laughing.

[Phoenix Dark]

If you're making an Oscar bait slash flick, may I suggest the climax being TVC having passionate sex with Father Mike in a dark room. TVC is topping, and doing everything right. He's hitting the sugar walls, if you know what I mean. After he finishes, the lights turn on and they realize the entire room is surrounded by spectators sitting with their legs crossed. One stands up and starts to slow clap, and soon the whole room is applauding. TVC realizes that he really can perform if others are in the room.

[Van Cruncheon]

that's be okay, as long as he's using arvie's SECOND asshole

[Kara]

I've mentioned that before! You also know that I generally throw up after taking a shit and have in fact thrown up on my own shit. I have, at least twice, thrown up on myself while on the toilet.

I know you have, bb, it was a gag. I'm bringing some professionalism to this operation.

And you are all far too vulgar, my goal with this is to write something so depressing that Eugene O'Neill will actually rise up from the dead, find me at whatever dungeon I'm currently wasting my life away in doing tax computations, and tell me that I need to lighten the fuck up. For real .

There's a good opportunity for verfremdungseffekt with the reveal at the end of PD's proposed finale, doe. Can't skip out on an opportunity to self-indulgently create something Brechtian that will never be performed irl and thus has no need of being Brechtian.

[TVC15]

How about it starts with me sitting on a toilet. I start shitting so much that it starts seeping out of the sides of the seat. Then I throw up like a gallon of mostly dry tuna, so I have to hack it up really hard and painfully. After that, I take my hand, twisted into a claw from being stuck in a drain and removed roughly, and just start beating off with it, moaning as tuna pours from my mouth and nose. My eyes are watering from the puking and smell, so as I climax, the only holes in my body not expelling a liquid are my ears.

[Phoenix Dark]

Then you hear a voice say "hey bub." You look down and see Drinky's head emerge from between your legs. You move a bit to allow him space to crawl out of the toilet while wearing a shit and vomit smeared onesie. He unzips it, and underneath he's wearing an immaculate leather jacket with multiple zippers but no pants or underwear. His dick and hairless balls are just dangling around. Drinky brushes his shoulders off and says "it's time to visit The Chemist." He opens the stall door, revealing his motorcycle is parked near the sink. He jumps on and revs it up before you jump on the back seat - which makes a wet plopping sound because your butt is still slick with feces. You ask where is The Chemist and Drinky says he's at Trader Joe's.

[TVC15]

Why a onesie and why The Chemist?

[Kara]

How about it starts with me sitting on a toilet. I start shitting so much that it starts seeping out of the sides of the seat. Then I throw up like a gallon of mostly dry tuna, so I have to hack it up really hard and painfully. After that, I take my hand, twisted into a claw from being stuck in a drain and removed roughly, and just start beating off with it, moaning as tuna pours from my mouth and nose. My eyes are watering from the puking and smell, so as I climax, the only holes in my body not expelling a liquid are my ears.

I feel like this might have to be a collaborative effort.

[Phoenix Dark]

Why a onesie and why The Chemist?

Drinky probably wears onsies. The Chemist...dunno, but the twist would be that he's another Bore member.

[TVC15]

If Drinky isn't wearing pants, wouldn't it make sense to go see THE PANTYMAN to get something to hide his shame with?

[Phoenix Dark]

I was hoping that others would continue the story