Well you guys were right, I was wrong (again)

[Bebpo]

So my fiance with her chronic back & neck pain that got even worse following her seizure 2 weeks ago was tripling her vicodin (2 pills x 3 times a day instead of 2 pills a day) for the added pain.  But she didn't get triple the prescription or anything so obviously she ran out first.  Things got bad.

She saw a pain doc that was supposed to be her last hope and he was kind of a super douchebag and didn't read the 4 page medical history letter that her GP wrote detailing her injuries that aren't readily visible and her pain.  He just looked at her, said she looked fine and she's young so just get some exercise and take this advil++.  Well getting tossed out by another doc mentally wrecked here along with going cold turkey off vicodin (which is really bad) and she got really suicidal, cut one of her wrists up, and would've thrown herself down the stairs if I hadn't stopped her because she can't deal with the constant pain.

She wanted to drive at 3am and try to find drug dealers or crash into a wall to injure herself so bad they'd believe she was really injured.  What she didn't want to do is see doctors, try trigger point injections or acupuncture or anything else that could actually HELP her injury.  She's just given up.  Totally cold, like another person.  She just needs her vicodin and since no one will give it to her it's driving her crazy.  She feels like she is in so much incredible pain.

She was doing a bit better yesterday.  Tried some new compound prescription cream that might've helped by a doctor friend.  Instead it just made her back itch all night really bad.  Another strike in the "I don't want to try anything else"

I was going to type more, but she just tried to kill herself again and I called the cops and they took her away to the hospital to keep her in psych ward.


Well if I'd listened to everyone, I wouldn't have gone through all this drama of the last week, but my fiance would probably have killed herself.

Now I don't know what's going to happen, but I just hope this somehow helps her.  I'm going to the hospital now to do the next steps.

[Himu]

Why does she continue to take these hard prescription drugs and not medical mj?

[nudemacusers]

be there for her as a friend. you can't be in a relationship like this.

i'm sorry this is all happening.

[El Babua]

Echoing mac here.

Shit sucks and I know you wanna stick by her, but in no way should it be the same as before.

[I'm a Puppy!]

It's hard because you can't help who you love in many ways.
But I agree. Let her get her life together be there (as a friend) if you can. But not a time for a deep relationship. Hang in there.

[thisismyusername]

bebs, it probably seems crazy right now, but this is exactly what she needed.  they'll keep her safe, and in monitoring her, i think there's no doubt they're going to be able to see the pain she's suffering from in a way that a quick visit to the doctor and a couple tests might not show.

I agree. Provided they keep an eye on her and notice when she's in extreme pain, they'll hopefully figure out a way for her to manage.

[Himu]

This is the situation she needed to be in months ago, I'm sorry to say. She needed the help and I'm glad she's getting it.

[Phoenix Dark]

Sorry to hear that man. But at the same time I think this was probably the only way to handle it. Going from doctor to doctor for a quick check up wasn't going to work. Whereas now she'll be under 24/7 care and they can determine what's up, hopefully.

[Momo]

Beb, I dunno what to say

[Bebpo]

The ER was crowded so they said they wouldn't see her for 2-3 hours and told me to go get a bite to eat and come back.  Gonna head back now.  This could help, but it also could do nothing and just piss her off and make her more determined to kill herself.  I'm definitely worried.  I really hope they take care of her.  She has real injuries (which are fixable over time), but she also has a vicodin addiction that's become apparent now that she's out which is making everything a million times worse.  I really wish she would've been open to going to a good detox center that works with hospitals for the medical injury side, but she said she'd jump off a building the first chance she got if she went to detox :\

[Bebpo]

Thanks, at ER waiting to talk to doc.  Called her parents, her dad is here and I told him everything.  He's more concerned about her being locked in a mental hospital and never coming out because she has an aunt and cousin like that on the mom's side, rather than her health and well being.  Was pissed at me for calling 911 instead of him, though he wouldn't have helped since she doesn't get along with her parents.

[Bebpo]

The ER nurse also admonished me for allowing her to underreport to her psych her mental state and not bringing her in for past suicide attempts even if she was threatening that she'd kill herself if I did.  At least I did it now.

[pilonv1]

Hope everything works out bebpo

[ToxicAdam]

If you really want to help her, the best thing you can do is break away. You are an enabler to her self-destructive tendencies. She has a family that will do the right thing.

How long has she been taking opiates? She sounds more like a typical addict, which is why so many doctors are rejecting here. They see her type all the time.

[Bebpo]

She's been texting me how much she hates me and is leaving once she gets out and has lost all her life and career goals in an instant.  I expected this, still stings.

[Bebpo]

She's been taking opiates for almost two years now.

I like how she texts me "the policeman said I should reconsider marrying you"

[Shaka Khan]

I've never commented on any of this before and I won't add anything in the future beside: I'm sorry you had to go through this bud, you gave it your best, and I wish you'd look out for yourself more starting now.

[archnemesis]

Opiate prescriptions are often shorter than two weeks because they are highly addictive. Are you sure she is experiencing chronic pain and not withdrawal symptoms from her addiction?

Edit: There are plenty of pain issues that are near impossible to diagnose and/or detect with current technology.

[Joe Molotov]

I hope your girl can get the help that she needs, and that you take care of your self.

[Bebpo]

Was at the ER until 5am.  The orderly first came out and didn't write anything much down and told me to repeat it all when the doctor comes out to talk to me and her dad.  Hours later a nurse came out and said it had been really busy and the doctor would see us soon.  At 4:45am a nurse came out and said the doctor went home...and this was at a pretty good hospital in the area.  Medical treatment is pretty bad in the US :\  I was like "uhh, the docs need to know certain stuff about her perscription psych meds, the name of her psychiatrist, stuff that aggravates the injury, stuff about HER SUICIDE ATTEMPTS" and the nurse is like "well, you can write it down on a piece of paper and I'll attach it to her charts".

When I asked if I'd get to talk to the doctor tomorrow then to tell him about everything that's been going on she couldn't give me an answer.  She also said because I'm not married to her, she's not sure if I'll be able to talk to anyone.  Which is fucked up as I'm the one who knows all her medical history for the past 2 years.  I'm going back in 8 hours with her dad and I'll spend the next 2 days sitting in the ER room I guess. 

I didn't reply to my fiance's texts or her many, many calls because she was angry, they were angry and I thought anything I said right now would escalate and make her more pissed. 

The only thing that got to me was when she said:

"Answer the goddamn phone.  I'm being treated like a criminal.  I have no rights.  Whatsoever.  My phone is a 'privilege'.  After ruining my life, would you, at the least, answer the phone?"

I still felt like it'd just escalate.  When I left I let her know that we'd been there all night, that they were kicking us out and I left detailed notes to support her facts, that me and her dad would be back tomorrow and we're there for her and to try to stay strong.

This is a shitty situation.

Opiate prescriptions are often shorter than two weeks because they are highly addictive. Are you sure she is experiencing chronic pain and not withdrawal symptoms from her addiction?

Edit: There are plenty of pain issues that are near impossible to diagnose and/or detect with current technology.

Yeah, it's hard to tell if it's both the injury and the opiate addiction aggravating it with fake pain or if it's just the injury pain or if the opiate has lowered her tolerance for pain in general so the injury hurts more.  She definitely has inflamed muscles, shortened muscles in the neck, a reverse spine in her neck, a muscle knot in her back.  These are things that docs have noticed and they haven't gone away or improved over time since she hasn't been doing treatment to improve them for a while.

[archnemesis]

Well that sucks. I hope you both manage to come out of this mess alright.

[Eel O'Brian]

I feel for you, buddy. Once this has passed I hope you get some peace and happiness in your life. You certainly deserve it.

[Bebpo]

Sitting in bed, alone, surrounded by our stuff it's finally hitting me.  I really don't see any way this ends well  :'(


Unless they miraculously get her the treatment she needs to detox and repair some of her muscle injuries or get them on the right track.

[Barry Egan]

Sorry about all this stuff happening Bebpo.  Also, good job to those of you giving Bebpo real talk all along.  You were willing to tell him the truth even when he rolled his eyes at you, called you ridiculous, assured you that it's normal for your fiancee to believe ghosts are haunting her etc.  You thanklessly went out of your way for someone who wasn't interested in changing, and you're likely to do it again for this stubborn dude in the near future just cause he's a long time Bore member .  It seriously warms my heart

[Van Cruncheon]

wow, the whole family sounds like bad news. :-( sorry it had to end like this, man. just soldier through and please don't sacrifice yourself any further on her behalf. she's done YOU a ton of psychological damage, and she's going to try to further leverage it in her hour of perceived need. once she's settled in, break it off. it will only get WORSE with her. i've seen other men utterly broken by people with these issues. :-(

[Phoenix Dark]

Yeah man don't let her break you. I understand the hesitation on your part to leave, given that her family doesn't sound like they'll do right by her, but you have to move on or this will be your life for the forseeable future. Vicodin addiction is very hard to break and very easy to relapse back into. That plus her unwillingness to try different treatments is a recipe for disaster. Plus the inability to get emotional or practical help/support from her family would lead to you burning yourself out. You can't do this alone.

You wouldn't be doing anything wrong by walking away. You can't save everyone. It almost sounds like they might just release her or let her fall through the cracks, although maybe they were just super busy last night. Regardless don't let her guilt you, remember you did everything you could. You're a loving person dude, that's pretty clear.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

From what I understand, prescription opiate addictions take years to shake off.  Even then, she may end up just popping suboxone for several years after that, if not forever.

It's time to walk away.

[a slime appears]

This is going to sound cruel but you need to get yourself out of it and distance yourself as much as you can from her. She isn't worth the pain and suffering. You did your best but the sooner you realize it was one gigantic mistake and nothing you could've done would have changed anything the better off you are.

I hesitated from commenting on this much earlier because I don't want to meddle in the affairs of others but seriously dude, walk away and if anything happens it's not your fault. She might take her own life and she might hunt you down because she's fucking crazy. Either way prepare for the worst and understand that it isn't your fault. None of it is. You were just a gullible fool she took along for a ride. You are A GOOD PERSON, Bebpo but learn from this and don't let others take advantage of your kindness.

The ER nurse also admonished me for allowing her to underreport to her psych her mental state and not bringing her in for past suicide attempts even if she was threatening that she'd kill herself if I did.  At least I did it now.

The nurse is right. Suicide isn't something to sweep under the rug and hope it'll go away. Hopefully this isn't something you'll ever have to deal with again and I'm truly sorry you went through it.

[demi]

Bebpo's thread and the Jizztaster all on the same night. Cosmic karma in the making

[Himu]

The ER nurse also admonished me for allowing her to underreport to her psych her mental state and not bringing her in for past suicide attempts even if she was threatening that she'd kill herself if I did.  At least I did it now.

Wait, didn't you take her to the psych ward earlier in the summer? Has all of this been going on without mental care treatment? Like, she's suicidal, and she gets vicodin scripts, and then it's okay? Did she tell you  this or something?

How did a seizure lead to taking more vicodin? Headaches?

[Kara]

Sorry Bebs.

Remember that a person can only be a reason to keep living, not a reason to commit suicide. When you fall down that hole, nothing can make you fall faster.

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[CatsCatsCats]

I'm sorry, Bebpo. 

[Howard Alan Treesong]

I'm sorry, man.

Three things:
- Your fiancée has a serious Vicodin addiction
- None of this is your fault
- YOU NEED TO WALK AWAY

Suicidal people are trying to guilt you into giving them the attention they want. It's not about ending their life - it's about denying you yours.

YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING SHE DOES.

[Van Cruncheon]

also:
- get a cognitive therapist to help YOU. you're taking major emotional pain on yourself and you need help/counsel from a professional, not a forum.

[lennedsay]

Wow. Yes, get away. As quickly and cleanly as you can. She is an addict and will always have issues, and it sounds like it runs in the family. Do not get stuck in her trap, and my god, DO NOT GET THIS WOMAN PREGNANT.

As someone who was in a relationship with someone who constantly threatened suicide, get the fuck out. Now. It doesn't matter what they say or do, they're doing it to get the reaction they want from you and to stay in control. I dumped my boyfriend in the worst way possible and then married his roommate. 10 years later, he still hasn't killed himself. Get out, don't feel guilty, don't worry that she's going to kill herself, just leave. You can't save people from themselves. Regardless of how capable she is of harming herself, she is being cruel and emotionally abusive to you. She sought out a nice, empathetic man that will allow her to be crazy without keeping her in check. Relationships are not built on guilt and power. Staying with her is enabling the behavior and is only making her worse, and the fact that she specifically doesn't want to detox and try alternatives is proof that she doesn't even want to change and have a healthy relationship. You are a victim of abuse. Get out and seek help.

Also, I know its not the same, but there have been two HUGE celebrities who died this year, both were addicts who gave it up for a decade or more. Virtually infinite resources did not help them. This will never truly go away or get better. Ever. So, get out.

Trust me brotha, it's time. I am so sorry. Jesus dude.

[Bebpo]

I do have a therapist, and friends and a good family.  I'll be ok. 


She does understand the toll it takes on me and she always feels guilty about it and tells me she doesn't want me to get involved because she feels like she's ruining my life.  She doesn't want anyone to get involved, she wants to take care of things herself.  But I keep meddling because I care about her and her taking care of things means not getting the help she needs (from doctors) and trying to hurt herself.

[Squiddy]

Even Beppo's girlfriend is telling him the relatioship is a bad idea.
Even the cop thought it was a bad idea.

[Howard Alan Treesong]

She is manipulating you. You need to leave. She doesn't want to be helped. She wants you to stick around. You need to leave.

Sticking around to help her doesn't make you a better person. Leaving does not make you a bad person. It's going to get worse. It's not going to get better. You need to leave.

[Van Cruncheon]

you're not helping her. you're enabling her. you aren't gonna be a hero, so get out before you become a villain. there's nothing noble in what you're doing. this is codependency, and it ends badly. this is not anything approximating normal. RUN

[lennedsay]

I do have a therapist, and friends and a good family.  I'll be ok. 


She does understand the toll it takes on me and she always feels guilty about it and tells me she doesn't want me to get involved because she feels like she's ruining my life.  She doesn't want anyone to get involved, she wants to take care of things herself.  But I keep meddling because I care about her and her taking care of things means not getting the help she needs (from doctors) and trying to hurt herself.

Umm....

You can't save people from themselves.

At this point, your meddling is for your own benefit (and it's not going to help anybody). You need to talk to your therapist about why you feel compelled to do this.

[Rusty Shackleford]

The Bore seems pretty unified in their opinion, Bebs. What advice have you been receiving from family/friends IRL? The people who see you daily?

[Mr. Gundam]

I'm sorry it's come to this, but I truly hope that this event shows you that being on our own is better than staying in an abusive relationship.

You deserve better, you are a good person. You need to sever ties immediately as she is still doing her best to manipulate you.

[lennedsay]

Even Beppo's girlfriend is telling him the relatioship is a bad idea.
Even the cop thought it was a bad idea.

I liked a Squiddy post. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS DOING TO ALL OF US??

[Eel O'Brian]

You're gonna feel like shit once you cut ties (and fucking believe me you need to cut them laser-style). No two ways about it. You'll feel guilty, and depressed, and you'll probably feel that way for a while. You might even feel like giving her a call, or picking the phone up when she calls. Don't. Let it go.

Now let's talk about all the good stuff.

When those guilty and depressing feelings start to pass in a couple of months, you'll feel like you can breathe again. You can go out and hang with your buddies, or stay in and fuck around with a video game, and just relax. When's the last time you relaxed? Remember how it felt? You'll feel it again. You'll be able to do what you want on your own schedule, and you won't ever have that anxious feeling that some calamity is bound to come crashing down at any given moment. After a while you'll want to get out and start dating again. And that's where the best part comes in.  After this terrible, painful lesson, you should be able to pick up on all the signals whenever you're talking to the next ball of crazy. You'll almost be able to see it radiating off them like heat waves off pavement in August.  You can run like hell cartoon-style, leaving a you-sized hole in the nearest wall, and never, ever have to deal with shit like this again.

[Himu]

I do have a therapist, and friends and a good family.  I'll be ok. 


She does understand the toll it takes on me and she always feels guilty about it and tells me she doesn't want me to get involved because she feels like she's ruining my life.  She doesn't want anyone to get involved, she wants to take care of things herself.  But I keep meddling because I care about her and her taking care of things means not getting the help she needs (from doctors) and trying to hurt herself.

You giving her meds is not helping her AT ALL. There's a line between empathy and being overly naive. Bebpo, I hate say this because it makes me sound like a bitch and you're my friend but you are way better than this, and you are enabling her, even without knowing it through seemingly good intentions. Please drop all contact, cherish the good memories (if there are any), and move on. She does not want help. Do you really see this relationship lasting? She even told you what we've been telling you this entire time but you keep giving her opiates because you care for her? Bebpo. No.

[Van Cruncheon]

Even Beppo's girlfriend is telling him the relatioship is a bad idea.
Even the cop thought it was a bad idea.

I liked a Squiddy post. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS DOING TO ALL OF US??

i wanted to like his post, but, y'know, squiddy.

[Himu]

At this point I struggle to see who Bebpo is really doing this for. Is it really for her if you're allowing her to take 6 vicodins in a single day? I'm sorry if it sounds bitchy for me to express that but please, please provide your therapist with your posts here to maybe help your counseling process.

[Kara]

Also, I know its not the same, but there have been two HUGE celebrities who died this year, both were addicts who gave it up for a decade or more. Virtually infinite resources did not help them. This will never truly go away or get better. Ever. So, get out.

It's not the same thing obv. and I say this as an ACA so I'm not diminishing things, but only 10%ish of alcoholics beat alcoholism and that's a lot more understood a dependency that pharmacological ones. It's sad but like I said about suicide, once you fall down that hole it's usually a one way trip that no one can affect.

OC Bore is here for you Bebs. I'm in the bag atm because of another loss in my life but we can always figure something out.

[Bebpo]

I'm not giving her meds wtf, I don't even know where she keeps her meds.  I don't know why people on this page are suddenly thinking I'm enabling her further at this point.  I called the cops and got her handcuffed and committed.

I know this relationship is bad for both of us.  I'm talking with her parents today at the hospital about if she can go to their place after this and if I can start boxing up her stuff and hire movers to move her furniture to their place.  I escalate the situations she's in by trying to get her to the right doctors and get the right treatment when she just wants to give up.  I'm not helping her and this isn't helping me.

Still, I'm not, not being at the hospital.  Abandoning her while she's like this is not going to help and I'm not a cold hearted SOB.  The relationship is over but I'll make sure her parents can take her in when she's released.  For people advocating not even that level of involvement, I think you'd act differently if your wife/husband was involuntarily committed on suicide watch, that abandoning them during that would not be healthy.

[Bebpo]

There's no difference between a wife/loved on and our situation.  If we had gone to a court and got married last week the situation would not be any different.  When a loved one is sick like this you get them help.  If you're not helping the situation, you get out of it so you can both move on and get better.  But you don't punch a person in the fucking face by walking away when they are on suicide watch on a 72 hour hold.  Sorry, that's not how I roll.  I'm informing her parents that it's over and making arrangements to move her stuff and I'm telling her that it's over, but I'm not just walking out the door and cutting off all contact.

Plus you know, it's not really possible to cut off all contact with a person who lives with you and owns 75% of the furniture and stuff at your own home.  Arrangements need to be made to move out.  It doesn't happen on a time where you just cut off all contact and never see or hear from them again.

[Rufus]

There's no difference between a wife/loved on and our situation.  If we had gone to a court and got married last week the situation would not be any different.

Yeah, time means absolutely nothing.

And when people say get the fuck out I assume them to mean "detach yourself cleanly and completely" not "move to Nicaragua overnight". You're doing it right, provided you don't get back to gether with her and let her deal with her issues by herself from then on.

[Van Cruncheon]

it would be different because you'd have a legal obligation amd she'd have half your shit plus a chunk of your salary, and your break would be even uglier.

[Himu]

The reason I tell you to get out clean is because by staying, you prolong attachment to her and that "the relationship is over" thing will flip to "so my fiancee'" again, like the past two (three?) times.

She has a family. She's receiving care. You will not be a cold hearted person by breaking off all ties, especially given how she has been treating you for having the audacity to give her care. So fuck her (not literally). She doesn't want the help. Her family does not want the help. Stop acting like you can change everything. This is not a jrpg. There is no world to be saved. All we can do is accept our situations, improve them (within reason and objectivity), help out when we can, and live our lives honestly. You have not accepted your situation for months, so why should anyone have any confidence that you will be able to put the relationship past you when you have been incapable of doing that much in the past?

[Mupepe]

Damn i didn't wanna pipe in but the no difference comment is straight up ignorance. You could have made that commitment bebpo, you're right. But you didn't. And you didn't take on the responsibilities associated with it, legal and otherwise. There's a reason people make such a big deal out of that "little" difference.

[Squiddy]

Fuck you, B.
I just can't.

[Great Rumbler]

She does understand the toll it takes on me and she always feels guilty about it and tells me she doesn't want me to get involved because she feels like she's ruining my life.  She doesn't want anyone to get involved, she wants to take care of things herself.  But I keep meddling because I care about her and her taking care of things means not getting the help she needs (from doctors) and trying to hurt herself.

Bebpo, for God's sake, this is what abusers do.

[Mr. Gundam]

No one is telling you to throw her stuff out the window and/or light it all on fire. Make sure her family gets her stuff moved and all that. That's fine. We ARE telling you to stop "helping." You are making this worse for yourself, as you come off here as unwilling to let go and completely detach yourself from the situation. The longer you're involved, the harder it will be to sever ties. I've been in unhealthy relationships in the past, the only way to get out is GET OUT. No contact whatsoever. This is basically an abusive relationship and you need help.

She's not on your lease, right?

[a slime appears]

What Drinky said in the last page is truth. Please see a therapist or seek professional help. Coming here and talking at length about your troubles to a bunch of strangers on the Internet isn't healthy. While everyone here has given you pretty level-headed advice you're getting sucked into this death spiral and you need someone to pull you out.

I'm genuinely trying to help you out here and I hope I'm not coming across as abrasive or mean-spirited. I am concerned about your mental health and I believe it's imperative that you start protecting yourself before it gets worse. You have no control over the outcome so stop pretending that you're helping. In actuality you are worsening the situation for everyone involved and you are damaging yourself in the process. The best thing you can do right now is cut all ties, seek professional help, and brace yourself for something horrible to happen. I'm completely serious. Walk away before you harm yourself any further.


I feel this needs to be quoted again because Bebpo this is exactly what you need to be reading right now:

You're gonna feel like shit once you cut ties (and fucking believe me you need to cut them laser-style). No two ways about it. You'll feel guilty, and depressed, and you'll probably feel that way for a while. You might even feel like giving her a call, or picking the phone up when she calls. Don't. Let it go.

Now let's talk about all the good stuff.

When those guilty and depressing feelings start to pass in a couple of months, you'll feel like you can breathe again. You can go out and hang with your buddies, or stay in and fuck around with a video game, and just relax. When's the last time you relaxed? Remember how it felt? You'll feel it again. You'll be able to do what you want on your own schedule, and you won't ever have that anxious feeling that some calamity is bound to come crashing down at any given moment. After a while you'll want to get out and start dating again. And that's where the best part comes in.  After this terrible, painful lesson, you should be able to pick up on all the signals whenever you're talking to the next ball of crazy. You'll almost be able to see it radiating off them like heat waves off pavement in August.  You can run like hell cartoon-style, leaving a you-sized hole in the nearest wall, and never, ever have to deal with shit like this again.

[Bebpo]

I don't think you guys really get it.  And here is why internet advice is like MILES of idealism away from THE REAL WORLD:


I'm super fucking pissed.  Why?  Because Rusty asked what the IRL family and friends have been saying about this situation, and here's what!  I told her parents that she needs to leave and go to their place, I tried to put it nicely and they want her to stay at my place.  I got more and more persistent and it was clear that they don't want her, yet they want her to get better and they want ME to be taking care of her 24/7.  Fuck them, what the fuck.  I literally said "you're saying she can't come home.  But she has to leave." and they're like "we can't forceably take her home or she'll run off somewhere and we won't even know where she is.  And when she gets out of here we all have to be really nice to her so you can't just tell her to leave"  FUCK

On top of that her parents and her want me to fucking LIE to the hospital.  She asked me to not use the word suicide/suicidal because they can keep her longer and she can't get her 51/50 revoked because she really really wants to be in law enforcement and it's been her dream but someone whose been involuntarily committed can never own a gun legally and thus cannot enter the law enforcement field.  I was so fucking pissed she was asking me to lie about that and then HER PARENTS were saying it must have been a mistake and telling me to lie about that because they just want to get her out of the psych ward instead of saying "hey, this could actually help"

I told her if she leaves my place once she's out, I won't mention it.  Fine.  What do I care that she doesn't get the treatment she needs other than everyone thinks I put her there because we had a "bad argument" which is what she's telling everyone.

She won't even let the people in the ward talk to her psychiatrist STILL because she doesn't want him to know about this.  Well, I e-mailed him letting him know she was there this morning so I guess she's fucked on that.  Her psychiatrist is probably the only one that could actually help.


But yeah, her parents are like "this is all the narcotics fault.  She just needs to go to rehab and everything will be solved."  smh.  It's way more complicated than that.  They even had the NERVE to tell me to never call 911 on her because they think this kind of stuff and being in the ward and around crazy people will make her crazy and make her be locked up.  They're not even thinking that "hey, this might be for her benefit", all they care about is getting her out by lying through their teeth.  I said LET'S MAKE THIS EASY, SHE MOVES BACK WITH YOU AND THEN I NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CALLING 911 ON HER AGAIN.  And they're like "no...we can't do that.  She should stay at your place"


And you ask what her family and our close friends who know about her suicide attempts and stuff think of this situation in IRL?  They all think I should be taking care of her because "she's in such a bad place and you're the only one she listens to!"; they'd all think I'm the most horrible person in the world if I just left her in her GREAT TIME OF NEED or some bs.


Since I literally can't move in my place without being surrounded by her stuff (she has SO MUCH FURNITURE and STUFF.  Like $2-3k of Ikea furniture after she moved in), I can't just box it and put it in the garage.  There's dressers and bookshelfs and desks and chests everywhere and I need an address to move it to and hire professional movers to move it.  She also pre-paid on through December for half my mortgage and HoA and utilities so I need to pull a bunch of money out of the bank and give it to her parents.  But mostly, when she gets out because her and her parents are doing their best to get her out without learning or being helped a bit and just faking to get out, I don't know what she'll do if I tell her to just get out.  She technically has a right to stay by verbal contract for month to month rental.  But not sure she'll push that. 

So it's not as easy as just "walk away"

[Rusty Shackleford]

I'd just like to make clear that I wasn't signaling agreement with the Bore's opinion. I was merely trying to see if there was some kind of divergence between what random Internet folks were telling you and what your family and close associates - who presumably interact with you and/or your GF in person on a daily basis - thought of the whole situation. I guess I should have been clearer - what does your side of the family, your closest friends - think of things? I'd tend to give their opinions the greatest weight.

Didn't mean to make you mad at all; I was seeking clarification.