coworker just joked about dutch ovening his wife

[Eschaton]

and all the married people laughed. what part of the game is this? do yall just shit and fart around each other on the reg? 




Being secure with your s/o enough to spew anal gases around her

[Eel O'Brian]

You may fart, but not directly on them

[I'm a Puppy!]

Poo on them is fine given context. But farting directly on them? Come on guys, have some class.

[Brehvolution]

I remember a gaffer saying he was in the shower with his gf one time. He was peeing and accidentally peed on her leg so she grabbed his leg and started peeing on it.

Farting isn't a big deal.

[Positive Touch]

we do none of that shit, thank god

cleanliness

[Himu]

Didn't know what a dutch oven was so I googled and

[nudemacusers]

it is my understanding that the classic dutch oven involves trapping your spouse in a small space of fart air, not merely farting in their vicinity. I don't do the former at all, sometimes the latter, but I am guilty of clearing my bladder while talking about life shit and when we are gonna pork next

[Eel O'Brian]

I will leave the room if I can, but sometimes a fart catches you by surprise

[nudemacusers]

it's not the fart itself, but the odor. you gotta be careful after gorging on pepper hummus 

[Brehvolution]

I will leave the room if I can, but sometimes a fart catches you by surprise

Same here. I only try to make it loud with the kids around.

[king of the internet]

Ew. Never. I had an ex who one day just started blasting ass freely around me. Let's just say the relationship didn't go on much longer after that.

[nudemacusers]

Girl farts

[Mr. Nobody]

Girl farts

 

[Phoenix Dark]

I guess wrath is one of those saudi nobility that poops on instagram hoes after a gangbang with the whole royal family (Image removed from quote.)

Wrath come sit down, we need to talk...

Say you're a rich oil nicca with no cares in the world. You have access to the finest women but only fuck with US instagram hoes because you can't appreciate the beautiful dark haired beauties in your homeland. Why would you pay to shit and pee on these women? You can fuck them all day, why you gotta do stuff that is dirty and SMELLS. What's the appeal? You can bang them without rubbers, bust in their face, titty fuck, anal, foot job, biting, cowgirl...how is that not enough?

[Phoenix Dark]

hold a single mostly unrelated man accountable for a strange subculture of twisted aristocrats, brehs.

If there's one thing my time around Talented Tenth Huxtable types taught me it's that we are all accountable. Let no man plead ignorance. If a black woman in Memphis orders a well done steak, that ruins my reputation even if it's not my food. If a young man on the South Side of Chicago purchases a Big Sean album that makes my life poor, even if it's not my iTunes account. If an elderly black woman doesn't tip her waitress that threatens my civil liberties. It is that fundamental belief - I am my brother's keeper, I am my sisters' keeper -- that makes this shit work.

[nudemacusers]

i hope you've not been asking for queefs by name up to this point, cuz the first time you ask for a "fart" you're in for a rude surprise. 

[Himu]

.....

[Mr. Nobody]

I said farts, not scat. I have standards boy. Bitch better be eating the finest cuisine before she queefs in my face.

Slippery slope breh.

First its farts, then you find a mislabeled video where the girl shits on herself afterwards. You then delete the video in disgust and after a short amount of time return to it because normal fart vids have gotten boring to you.

Watch yourself 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This exact process is how I went from enjoying girls performing average blowjobs to not taking anything less than deepthroating/gagging. 

If she vomits, she vomits   

[close]

[Mupepe]

farts are gross.  but if i can't accept the horrible disgusting smells that come out of my SO then I don't think I should be married to her.  BTW, I said accept... not enjoy.  My only rule is be fart free an hour before sex at least.  I can't get hard if the room still smells like digested taco bell.

[nudemacusers]

well are we talking the new cheesy bean and rice burrito? cuz I think it would enhance the experience for a few of us.

[Kara]

I find those really aren't so good for the gas. I guess you have to make some sacrifices to get to that one dollar price point.

[nudemacusers]

it's a little upsetting that this is the first I've heard of this. why doesn't taco bell want us to know that? #thinkoutsidethebun

[Human Snorenado]

I accidentally cropdusted a really pretty lady at Trader Joe's today. When I realized it I scurried away.

[fizzel]

Girl farts

(Image removed from quote.)

In the impending digital dark age I fucking hope and pray that cakefarts and four girls fingerprinting is all that survives for future generations.

[Sausage]

I guess wrath is one of those saudi nobility that poops on instagram hoes after a gangbang with the whole royal family (Image removed from quote.)

Wrath come sit down, we need to talk... (Image removed from quote.)

Say you're a rich oil nicca with no cares in the world. You have access to the finest women but only fuck with US instagram hoes because you can't appreciate the beautiful dark haired beauties in your homeland. Why would you pay to shit and pee on these women? You can fuck them all day, why you gotta do stuff that is dirty and SMELLS. What's the appeal? You can bang them without rubbers, bust in their face, titty fuck, anal, foot job, biting, cowgirl...how is that not enough?

Rich arabs are fucking instagram hoes now? Link me to the vice article breh