Author Topic: is there any subgenre of fiction worse than pirate fiction? (Read 8408 times)

Eschaton · « **on:** October 18, 2014, 10:26:09 PM »

jesus christ

team filler · « **Reply #1 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:27:37 PM »

one piece doe

parallax · « **Reply #2 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:30:01 PM »

Quote

(Image removed from quote.)

zombies. zombies are worse

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #3 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:30:21 PM »

Cutthroat Island is a fun movie.

nudemacusers · « **Reply #4 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:32:20 PM »

vampire fiction is great esp. the really gay stuff

louis and lestat

marius and armand

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #5 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:32:28 PM »

Had to go with vampires, for longevity. Pirates come and go, but vampire fiction has been steadily terrible for over a hundred years.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #6 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:35:50 PM »

I dunno, weird westerns are pretty coo

nudemacusers · « **Reply #7 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:36:00 PM »

i think we can all agree civil war fiction is legit bottom tier.

unless it's homoerotic.

parallax · « **Reply #8 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:36:48 PM »

Quote from: nudemacusers on October 18, 2014, 10:36:00 PM

i think we can all agree civil war fiction is legit bottom tier.

theres civil war fiction? i can only imagine what thats about....

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #9 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:36:51 PM »

Unless there's ghosts

StealthFan · « **Reply #10 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:38:09 PM »

Captain Blood.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #11 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:38:44 PM »

Westerns apart from stuff like blood meridian are fairly trash, always gotta cram some harlequin romance horseshit in there

Just keep it to rednecks shooting each other, motherfuckers

nudemacusers · « **Reply #12 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:39:21 PM »

oh wait i'm mistaken.

that would be christian supernatural young adult fiction.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Door_in_the_Dragon's_Throat

spoiler (click to show/hide)

i had to read this as a child

[close]

parallax · « **Reply #13 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:43:26 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 10:39:44 PM

Quote from: parallax on October 18, 2014, 10:36:48 PM
Quote from: nudemacusers on October 18, 2014, 10:36:00 PM
i think we can all agree civil war fiction is legit bottom tier.

theres civil war fiction? i can only imagine what thats about....

Oh man. Public libraries in the 90s were ~stock~ full of the shit. I used to see it everywhere since it was stored right next to the fantasies and westerns. Just appalling. There's something about the civil war specifically that incites blowhardy writing, kind of like World War 2. Except WW2 was really cool, so it gets a pass.

im sure you didnt read them, so i can only imagine they were either stories focusing on characters of the time, or what if propoganda like pieces

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #14 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:45:28 PM »

My brother used to be a civil war reenactor

You wanna talk about some lame shit

They had referees who would walk the (public) reenactment wearing neon orange vests and tapping people to play dead because they couldn't get their choreography shit together

Shit was crazy expensive, too, he spent like over a grand on costumes and equipment

parallax · « **Reply #15 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:50:08 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 10:44:24 PM

zombie fiction is played out but i just can't quit it. it's so bad and predictable but i can't break free from zombie shit.

my major issue is that it all plays out the same. as stupid as this sounds, i want a more realistic zombie apocalypse scenario. and so far, only world war z has done that. magical zombies that are still somehow walking years in any place just makes me stop caring.

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 10:46:11 PM

Quote from: parallax on October 18, 2014, 10:43:26 PM
im sure you didnt read them, so i can only imagine they were either stories focusing on characters of the time, or what if propoganda like pieces

I did read some of them in fact, my mother whined about me always reading only scifi and fantasy so i naturally saw a lot of these books.

Honestly a lot of them are

1) wartime romances
2) gothic horror tainted ghost stories like someone mentioned
3) historical figure suckoff pieces

number 2 has potential.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #16 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:52:16 PM »

You guys should get on the Google Play Books groove, I've been reading some western autobiographies from the mid-1800s, motherfuckers lying all over themselves

John Wesley Hardin bububuing and making shit up to excuse himself from being a straight-up murdering socio

toku · « **Reply #17 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:56:01 PM »

Clancy-esque shit is so boring man. Global nuclear threats and you just want to pass out reading it.

Give me romantic cowboys over that shit any day

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #18 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:56:32 PM »

I legitimately love pulp horror, no pretense of making sense and getting away with crazy gore because no mainstream literary outlets paid them any attention

Great Rumbler · « **Reply #19 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:58:36 PM »

Quote from: nudemacusers on October 18, 2014, 10:39:21 PM

oh wait i'm mistaken.

that would be christian supernatural young adult fiction.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Door_in_the_Dragon's_Throat

spoiler (click to show/hide)
i had to read this as a child
[close]

I read those books.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #20 on:** October 18, 2014, 10:59:42 PM »

Hollywood prequels of [insert anything]

toku · « **Reply #21 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:01:20 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 10:57:59 PM

topic is making me realize ive read some terrible pulp fiction in my life. especially all those arthur ripoffs

I think there's something about that story that appeals to young men intrinsically, the idea that you can do one thing, pull a sword from a stone ~ and have your destiny changed forever.

I think everyone, not just boys, want to believe that their whole world can be changed for the better in a single day.

StealthFan · « **Reply #22 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:03:05 PM »

Crime novels, dawg. Unless it's older Ellroy. I bought Salem's Lot, The Gunslinger, White Jazz and The Alienest today at the dollar book store

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #23 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:07:18 PM »

Modern Noir

It's all Chandler/Spillane/Hammett/Thompson/MacDonald fanfic

thisismyusername · « **Reply #24 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:10:13 PM »

Christian Fiction, easily. At least with Pirates, I can maybe have fun reading it.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #25 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:12:15 PM »

Fantasy in general makes me

People keep suggesting stuff for me to read, but it all comes off like renfair underarm onions and feet-smelling bullshit whenever I try.

Here's some fucking elves and dwarves doing the same shit over and over

dragons or whatever

StealthFan · « **Reply #26 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:15:02 PM »

Yeah fantasy is whack shit. I can fuck with Conan comics and some Solomon Kane but ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

thisismyusername · « **Reply #27 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:18:24 PM »

Really? You guys can't get into Fantasy/Sci-fi? $:-\$ #icant with you people. :'(

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 11:15:31 PM

I know so much of it's bad but since so many writers are neckbeards there's enough for anyone to enjoy. I've got Malazan and Glen Cook's Black Company on tap right now. My only gripe with the genre is the same with RPG's, since only white people make them it's increasingly stale as far as world building and mythos

Isn't there non-white Sci-fi authors? I'm trying to scan my memory but I can't recall.

Quote from: Death Ghidorah on October 18, 2014, 11:12:49 PM

I think we all forgot the horrors that are Young Adult fiction

YA fiction isn't that bad. That is, if you avoid stuff like Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars/sappy stuff. But you also gotta remember it's kinda meant for pre-teen/teens than "adult."

(But I'm the type of person that scoffs at the "OMG WHY ARE ADULTS READING YA NOVELS" people)

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #28 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:20:05 PM »

Yeah but in skyrim I can fuck up the dragons personally without having to read about the faggoty exploits of gagahadriele and lilliethe or whoever

StealthFan · « **Reply #29 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:20:43 PM »

That face when you remember Black Company and how you barely read it, and was just at a book store

That face when there is an audiobook torrent and a PSP at your fingers

StealthFan · « **Reply #30 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:21:54 PM »

Chine Mievelle does decent sci-fi. Just avoid trash like Snow Crash, which aspies fucking adore.

The Man In The High Castle and The Forever War are required reading.

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #31 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:23:05 PM »

Pulp Science Fiction is cool, Flash Gordon type shit with no basis in reality. Can't hang with hard scifi, too much senior thesis and not enough dudes killing each other with lasers

Eel O'Brian · « **Reply #32 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:24:44 PM »

I'm willing to try anything, but I am also willing to hate it

StealthFan · « **Reply #33 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:26:16 PM »

Reading Dune, The Forever War and The Man In The High Castle in college is one of the few good memories from that dark period in my life

:

Rahxephon91 · « **Reply #34 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:28:40 PM »

Whats wrong with Snow Crash? It's very funny and clearly a joke on cyberpunk fiction while also being an enjoyable story.

Howard Alan Treesong · « **Reply #35 on:** October 18, 2014, 11:59:51 PM »

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 11:23:50 PM

There's some fantasy made from a non-western/ 'white' pov but it's limited.
apparently Bridge of Birds is great chinese inspired but i havent gotten to that yet.

Bridge of Birds is the best fantasy novel I've ever read, period

READ IT

jakefromstatefarm · « **Reply #36 on:** October 19, 2014, 12:23:27 AM »

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 10:34:20 PM

Maybe i should take a on jane austen, just to resurrect mandark.

#firstworldlandedgentryproblems def deserves to be on the list

zombie shit is so trite @ this point, shit gets an immediate:

spoiler (click to show/hide)

[close]

reaction out of me

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 11:15:31 PM

Glen Cook's Black Company

my ninja

Joe Molotov · « **Reply #37 on:** October 19, 2014, 12:56:22 AM »

On Stranger Tides, tho.

Yulwei · « **Reply #38 on:** October 19, 2014, 01:08:13 AM »

Quote from: Esch on October 18, 2014, 10:26:09 PM

jesus christ

Don't think I've ever read a pirate novel, but I'm going to go ahead and guess zombies and urban fantasy are worse anyhow.

Yeti · « **Reply #39 on:** October 19, 2014, 01:08:42 AM »

Pirate fiction is a thing? What are some popular pirate fiction books that I could look into?

toku · « **Reply #40 on:** October 19, 2014, 01:21:10 AM »

I love high fantasy but I love low fantasy shit like Solomon Kane and Conan because of how brutal their worlds are. Everytime magic is used loads of people die and lives ruined. Magic is inherently evil in those worlds.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #41 on:** October 19, 2014, 01:40:37 AM »

You hit the nail on the head breh. Magic should have consequences, because when it doesn't it's so easy to ruin the entire world of the novel/series/whatever. That's why I've been so slow to pick up The Way of Kings; Sanderson is quite a magic abuser imo.

El Babua · « **Reply #42 on:** October 19, 2014, 01:58:56 AM »

For NaNo, I'm gonna write a Christian Vampire fic with a rapey main love interest/vampiric angel named Dennis.

toku · « **Reply #43 on:** October 19, 2014, 02:18:07 AM »

Quote from: Esch on October 19, 2014, 02:10:21 AM

Tbh I blame it on video games. The more popular they got the more salient power level shit became. If you read old shit like elric, fafhrd or even in myths magic is treated mysteriously, with mysterious rules with the exception of the quintessential 'magic item with an unforgiving ToS'.

This is why some of the best fantasy fluff was done in the 80s and 90s. Back then you could get away with some shit like "sentient zombie machines from the sun" and as long as they looked cool in the card/book art no one would even bat an eye.

toku · « **Reply #44 on:** October 19, 2014, 02:20:31 AM »

Yes people are awful and ruin everything.

Supermanisdead · « **Reply #45 on:** October 19, 2014, 02:25:06 AM »

read genre fiction like unwashed proles

nudemacusers · « **Reply #46 on:** October 19, 2014, 03:04:28 AM »

Quote from: Eel O'Brian on October 18, 2014, 11:24:44 PM

I'm willing to try anything, but I am also willing to hate it

asl?

nudemacusers · « **Reply #47 on:** October 19, 2014, 03:08:23 AM »

Quote from: The Walrus on October 19, 2014, 02:14:56 AM

I read all those Frank Peretti novels with the Christian Indiana Jones dude and his two kids. Some of them could have been legit cool if everything didn't come back to the Christian god at every opportunity. There was one where they were being stalked in underground ruins by this 10 foot tall stealthy killer descended from Goliath's race. Shit like that had potential.

actually to be totally fair i agree. some of the writing was legit creepy (in terms of shit aimed at teens), but invariably there would be a turn to jesus moment that killed the tension. not that i'm a jesus hater or some shit, it was just brute forced into the story and preachy in weird parts.

StealthFan · « **Reply #48 on:** October 19, 2014, 09:29:27 AM »

I can't fuck with The Gunslinger. The Dark Tower is infamous for shitting the bed in the end and I ain't got time for a multi-book series that disappoints.

I'm gonna re-read Salem's Lot. Read this in middle school, 14 years ago

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #49 on:** October 19, 2014, 09:35:52 AM »

Quote from: StealthFan on October 19, 2014, 09:29:27 AM

I can't fuck with The Gunslinger. The Dark Tower is infamous for shitting the bed in the end and I ain't got time for a multi-book series that disappoints.

I'm gonna re-read Salem's Lot. Read this in middle school, 14 years ago

14 years and 200 pounds ago.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

join #DSF or else nicca

[close]

StealthFan · « **Reply #50 on:** October 19, 2014, 09:36:43 AM »

There is fun vampire pulp. I read this shit Darkness On The Ice, about a nazi SS officer sent to the Artic where the sun is down for months. He starts bodying his comrades while on a mission. Shits hilarious. One of them notices he has no breath. Another swims through ice water to hide on a small iceberg. They're dying from hypothermia and he just walks through the water because LOLMYHEARTISALREADYCOLDNICCA.

Also I heard The Wolf's Hour is tight. McCann's shit like Boy's Life and Swan Song come highly rated.

StealthFan · « **Reply #51 on:** October 19, 2014, 09:37:26 AM »

I ain't joining shit nicca. I'll just leave. I don't come here for insults I can recieve irl.

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #52 on:** October 19, 2014, 10:03:45 AM »

Quote from: StealthFan on October 19, 2014, 09:37:26 AM

I ain't joining shit nicca. I'll just leave. I don't come here for insults I can recieve irl.

Come on breh

StealthFan · « **Reply #53 on:** October 19, 2014, 10:09:47 AM »

you got a pamphlet or something

Phoenix Dark · « **Reply #54 on:** October 19, 2014, 10:17:52 AM »

Nah just a firm handshake and a wink. I knew you would come through.

Supermanisdead · « **Reply #55 on:** October 19, 2014, 10:59:22 AM »

Quote from: Esch on October 19, 2014, 02:38:10 AM

Quote from: Supermanisdead on October 19, 2014, 02:25:06 AM
read genre fiction like unwashed proles

This guy really trying to pull this with a comic book avatar. Kneegrow please

Subversive feminist sado-masochism

Kara · « **Reply #56 on:** October 19, 2014, 11:24:42 AM »

Comedic Warhammer 40K books. (Ciaphas Cain)

(I'd just say "Warhammer 40K books" but I don't really think that's a subgenre? Not that pirate fiction is really a subgenre but a genre...)

StealthFan · « **Reply #57 on:** October 19, 2014, 11:57:39 AM »

Niccas sleep on King. His recent output is flabby but dude wrote some stone-cold classics. People just hate because he's popular, he leans on pop culture at times and he has trouble sticking the landing.

recursivelyenumerable · « **Reply #58 on:** October 19, 2014, 12:17:37 PM »

i'm reading a Melville story that has pirates in it and it is p. cool

StealthFan · « **Reply #59 on:** October 19, 2014, 12:22:05 PM »

Quote from: recursivelyenumerable on October 19, 2014, 12:17:37 PM

i'm reading a Melville story that has pirates in it and it is p. cool

the scar?

News:

Poll

pirates suck

Author Topic: is there any subgenre of fiction worse than pirate fiction? (Read 8408 times)

Eschaton