Dreams Crushed....flew in plane with Halle Berry from Detroit to Cleveland

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Seriously. I have spent most of my natural life having a huge crush on this woman. I mean, she's on my list to my wife of the 5 women I'm cheating with, no questions asked...that level.

Well I flew from Detroit to Ohio last night late and the only other persons boarding in first class right off the rip was fucking Halle Berry and her bodyguard I assume...be still my beating heart.

Now let me tell you about this woman. First off, she's a bitch. And I don't mean in a good way. I'm boarding behind her and she tells me in no uncertain terms "no pictures, put your phone away" to which I am like "yeah, no problem, what takes you to Cleveland?" And she says "my loser ass family" ah....ok.

Well I get a chance to see her up close and......just uh....not good. She looks terrible. I've seen Hollywood magic first hand but goddamn it must take 5 coats of cover up to get her ready to film. To top this off she is a demanding bitch, the poor flight attendant was called trashy, stupid, ugly, fat, and distinguished mentally-challenged all on like a 40 minute flight.

Having enough I put on my headphones and start watching the end of goodfellas to which I get a tap on my shoulder from her body guard and am told to "turn it down" and she "hates that movie" and it's best if I just stop watching it.

Not to mention I had to sit there for 20 minutes so the Queen could exit the plane in private...when there is like 20 people in the whole airport.


Dreams Crushed.

[Phoenix Dark]

I'd still smash.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I'd still smash.

I bet you wouldn't. I had to take her off my list.

[Madrun Badrun]

I like to image you rushed home, just holding back the tears.  You open your door, run to the bedroom and pull out a metal lockbox.  You open it with a key you keep chained around your neck.  There is a while lined paper in there with five names on it and a pen.  Just as you cross out the name the tears break free, causing little round smudges on the other names.  You close the box, throw it back in place, leap onto the bed belly down and sulk into a pillow you hold next to your chest.  Maybe you even kick your legs a bit; its that bad of a moment. 

[Phoenix Dark]

Being mean to flight attendants, waiters, etc is an ultimate dick move to me. Those aren't easy jobs, why fuck with them by being an asshole?

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I like to image you rushed home, just holding back the tears.  You open your door, run to the bedroom and pull out a metal lockbox.  You open it with a key you keep chained around your neck.  There is a while lined paper in there with five names on it and a pen.  Just as you cross out the name the tears break free, causing little round smudges on the other names.  You close the box, throw it back in place, leap onto the bed belly down and sulk into a pillow you hold next to your chest.  Maybe you even kick your legs a bit; its that bad of a moment.

I should have done this. Damnit.

I just said "what a fucking bitch" and went to sleep.

[Eel O'Brian]

Shoulda watched Training Day

[Eel O'Brian]

"Go fuck yourself. On this plane you're just another passenger. And if you lay hands on me I'm gonna sue her so bad Catwoman will seem like the highpoint of her life."

And then turn it up louder

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Shoulda watched Training Day

Gothika, imo.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

"Go fuck yourself. On this plane you're just another passenger. And if you lay hands on me I'm gonna sue her so bad Catwoman will seem like the highpoint of her life."

And then turn it up louder

At that point I was dead tired and didn't feel like fucking with it. Plus her bodyguard was one of them milk drinking mofo's that could throw my ass around like a baseball.

[team filler]

monster's ball 

[Positive Touch]

holy shitballs she seriously called the flight attendant all those things? fuuuuck her

[Am_I_Anonymous]

holy shitballs she seriously called the flight attendant all those things? fuuuuck her

Yup, she ordered a blush wine and got one that didn't agree with her. To which directly to the attendant she said "are you distinguished mentally-challenged along with being fat? I don't understand how you can mess this up? I don't have time for your stupidity"

[StealthFan]

I heard she was a cunt. Totally crazy too. No wonder Blade beat her deaf in one ear.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

I heard she was a cunt. Totally crazy too. No wonder Blade beat her deaf in one ear.

You heard right. I mean admittedly it was a small sample size, but I found 0 redeeming qualities in my short time with her.

[Madrun Badrun]

Wesley Snipes beats women too?

[StealthFan]

Snipes claims it was David Justice. Snipes is a dick, but Justice has a history of beating women.

The rumor has always been Snipes tho.

[Phoenix Dark]

Nah it was David Justice breh.

Halle swore off black men and her love life has been nothing but misery since then. She's currently paying child support to her ex cac husband.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

bedwenches

/the coli

[close]

[StealthFan]

Of course it was Justice. I was just saying the rumor is Snipes.

If Justice bedded the bitch, he slapped the wench.

[Joe Molotov]

Is there therapy you can undergo to become ex-cac?

[Dickie Dee]

Was your phone up poised for a pic when you told to put it away?

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Was your phone up poised for a pic when you told to put it away?

No, I was emailing someone.

[Dickie Dee]

8


Being mean to flight attendants, waiters, etc is an ultimate dick move to me. Those aren't easy jobs, why fuck with them by being an asshole?

Yup, no quicker insight into how much a piece of shit someone is than seeing them mistreat service workers

[Van Cruncheon]

putting on blackface only doubles down on the cacness. see: this forum.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

Is there therapy you can undergo to become ex-cac?

No. You can't be excacmunicated no matter how hard you try.

(Image removed from quote.)

[Am_I_Anonymous]

putting on blackface only doubles down on the cacness. see: this forum.

[Mr. Nobody]

putting on blackface only doubles down on the cacness. see: this forum.

It's despicable

[nachobro]

Who the fuck hates Goodfellas? And all that lip from the broad who plays Storm in X-Men? Bitch please.

If only you'd brought Catwoman with you.

[I'm a Puppy!]

So wait, did you turn it down or turn it off? I would've put on Monster's ball and fast forwarded to that one scene and cranked it up.

[nudemacusers]

as I always have to explain to my wife, it's for this exact scenario why I keep a copy of billy bob givin her the business on my phone. you never know.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

as I always have to explain to my wife, it's for this exact scenario why I keep a copy of billy bob givin her the business on my phone. you never know.

I'm like 4 inches and 30 pounds on you from what you say bro, the only thing you would have done to her BG is smile and say yes sir and possibly fellate him if he was in the mood.

[nudemacusers]

...pics of bodyguard?

she sounds like a cunt tho. explains why someone that good looking with a high measure of social status can't keep a dude.

[Am_I_Anonymous]

...pics of bodyguard?

she sounds like a cunt tho. explains why someone that good looking with a high measure of social status can't keep a dude.

Draw a smiley face on your refrigerator....

And yeah...you are 100% correct.